Disclaimer: I do not own them. That Sam-I-Am! I do not like them, Sam-I-Am! I do not like Green Eggs and Ham. Nor do I like eating mass quantities of tofu and soymilk. So blame Beast Boy for the mass outbreak of diarrhea.

Chapter Six: Teeny, Weenie, Miney, Ho-Lie, Shop, and go, go GO!!!

"Why did you lie?"

"I didn't."

"I know you didn't get your powers from an atomic fusion. It's not possible."

"Oh really? And can you confirm this?" Marie said, testily.

"Cyborg's parents used to perform experiments to try to restore him. He's described the conditions required to form atomic fusion."

"Yeah, and let me guess, his parents were the ones who designed the batmobile?"

"No. You say you dove and reached the sandbar, but to get atoms to fuse, you must have more pressure than several feet. You would have to be at least a kilo down, which means you would be touching rock hard bottom, and not sand."

"What are you trying to get at here?"

"You got your powers through another process other than atomic fusion. It has to have been food poisoning. I was observing the way you ate our food. You think we fix it, don't you? You don't trust us. Why did you lie?"

"Because acquiring my powers through administration of drugs unto comestibles is not something that I am proud of. You know Veiktra LabCorp., downtown?"

"The creeps who try to genetically enhance human beings? Of course I've heard. The government prevented them from asking for volunteer patients after one of their projects went awol."

"Well, they're back in running and operating again. Recently, they've been seeking 'accidental' patients from the children of problem employees. My father got into a fight with his superintendent. The freak reported my father, and, the next day, when we were supposed to go to the beach, they got an agent to sneak into the house. He tampered with the food. The next day, I went to get a coke and stepped into the water while I drank it. THAT'S how it really began. Their chemicals are radioactive. So anything that my skin touched, I had control over. They intended to 'collect' and use me as a testing subject. So, I ran. "

Raven looked at her and gave the basics of a grin. "You know, Starfire is still trying to get accustomed to Earth. She doesn't know half the things you do. Only things to do with Tamaranian physics. I still can't believe you knew all that and dropped that mistake about the sandbar and pressure."

"Actually, I was wondering when one of you would pick that up. I can't believe that you know so much about nuclear physics. I never had any friends who were really interested in the things I liked. I read all the time, but my parents would always come in to disturb me."

"That's how it is around here, too."

"No, seriously?!"

"I can never find any peace."

"You like reading?"

"Yes. Horror and Fiction."

"Me too." And with that, the girls started revealing their personal histories to one another. Each was finding that they were socializing a lot more that day than they had done in years.

On Raven's shoulder, Beast Boy had crawled up and blended into the silken blue fabric as a chameleon. Ever the faithful eavesdropper, he listened intently, as they talked, surprised that the two seemed to be getting along well. And then he made his mistake. He started to nudge at Raven's cloak a little, causing the slightest little abnormal wave, like a mirage. And Marie noticed it.

Gesturing towards her shoulder, Raven saw the wrinkle, too. Instantly, the invisible outline of Beast Boy became surrounded by darkness, and he was lifted into the air.

Unable to change back, he squirmed in midair and writhed as Marie blasted him to the wall with a gush of water.

"You people are sick!" He spluttered while trying to stand up. "Dude, if I go all kitty-cat for Star, my fur's gonna stink up the house!" He stomped off, indignant.

Starfire flew in at that very moment and saw the puddle and green hairs still smudged on the wall. "Did Beast Boy regurgitate another hair sphere? Oh, well. Come friends! We shall go to the mall of shopping and purchase a suitable uniform for our new comrade!"

She dragged the two down the stairs and pleaded with Cyborg to drive them to the Jump City MegaMall. At first he refused, and then Marie recalled aloud that they were having a sale today in the technology department for new game sets and hardware. And Cyborg shoved them into the T-Car, almost ignoring the fact that he'd almost busted the paint job in his rush.

At the mall, Starfire tugged the two along. Raven having the uncanny desire to hurl at the site of so many vivid girly clothes, Marie grumpy from lack of sleep. Starfire was relentless in driving them across the marble floors and around three consecutive levels of shops.

They swept through Old Navy, Hecht's, Macy's, and Banana Republic before they finally made a last stop at The Gap.

"Come on, Starfire, can't we do this tomorrow? I'm seriously tired. There's nothing that I see, anyway."

"That is because your visionary organs are semi-sealed from fatigue! Wait! I have spotted something desirable! Oh! What is this delightful material, friends?"

"It's called cashmere, Starfire, and there is no way our pockets go that deep." Raven took the scarf from the giddy glowing-eyed girl and pointed to the price tag. Starfire, having finally mastered American currency, gave a little gasp. She glanced around the store for something else.

"Oh! Velour Hoodies! I shall analyze which pigment best matches my eyes while you two may continue our search!" Starfire whipped a few colors off the rack and went into the dressing room.

Raven started to walk towards the exit. "Where are you going?"

"I'm ditching her." She said, not turning around.

"I know she'll be in there forever, but just help so we can get out of here faster. PLEASE? We can go to your café later on!!!"

Raven succumbed to this offer. They tore the store's racks apart and finally found something that caught Marie's eye. The whole uniform had the Arabian lure and appeal of a genie. It seemed to bring to life the desert's mystic and barren lands, and the oases that dot them like small, glistening gems. A flowing blouse and khaki cargo pants with an embroidered vest made her look like an elite enforcer of wish granting. She took the forbidden scarlet cashmere scarf and wrapped it around her head like a turban.

Then Marie strode to the cashier, "I desire to purchase this outfit. In return, I will grant you three wishes in the form of Franklins."

"Yeah, well you'll need a lot more than a coupla Franklins to pay for that baby there." The cashier indicated her makeshift turban and took the three hundred-dollar bills.

Marie flushed, "Oh. My bad." She took the receipt and placed her

As they returned the scarf and were exiting the store, Starfire caught up with them. "Friends! What a delightful getting up! Oh! And you had it personalized as well!" On her shoulder, Marie had gotten the lady to sew on a patch with the Titans' "T" on it.

"Let's jet. I wanna see what they sell on the menu at Raven's café."

"What a splendid idea! Let us go immedia—" BLEEP BLEEP! BLEEP! The communicator echoed throughout the domed mall and bounced off the frosted glass windows. Raven grabbed it and saw Beast Boy's face popping up in front of Robin's annoyed one.

"You HAVE to get back here! You'll never BELIEVE what just happened!!!" Beast Boy was clearly excited over something.

"Has anyone broken out of jail?"

"No."

"Is it Slade?"

"Nope."

"Has the Tower been burnt to ashes?"

"Naw."

"Did Beast Boy contaminate the shivering box with his putrid tofu again?"

"Uh-uh."

"Well, then we'll meet you after we stop by the café."

"Not that shady place again Raven?!"

"You HAVE to get down here. That's an order!"

"Beast Boy, who do you think you are, ordering us around?"

But the link was disconnected and the three were left with two options: Trudge home and probably find that the surprise was that Beast Boy had finally beaten Cyborg in some stupid game, or, go hang down by the Gothic café that Raven loved.

"Looks like we'll have to do this the old-fashioned way: Eenie Meenie, Miney, Moe—"

"What is Teeny, Weenie, Miney, Ho?"

"Don't interupt, Starfire."

"Why do we even bother? We know that the other option is a pointless discovery: Beast Boy has another lame joke sprouting out of his ears."

"Touch a tiger by his toe, if he hollers, let 'im go, Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe!"

They chose café-time.

*******

A.N.: Does anyone notice the difference between Marie's outfit and everyone else's? Hers isn't made of spandex! Yes, she is probably the only member whose clothes aren't tight around the butt!

And what about Raven's café? Will it have the usual slouchers and goths? Or a twist? Well, you'll have to wait and see!

And yeah, the title for this chapter sort of sucks, but whatever, as long as it's quality material.

One more question: Can anybody guess WHY the heck Beast Boy is so excited about this surprise?

KEEP REVIEWING!!!

Peace out ppl.