A.N.: Geez, you know how last chapter I said that I would update tomorrow? Well, I last update was March 30, 2004…Let's see…and today would be April 30, 2004, right? Alright, here's what happened. I opened my locker on 03/30/04, and suddenly, WHOOSH! Some freaky worm hole just materializes outta nowhere and now I'm here! One month later! Yeah, weird, huh?
You guys might find this chapter more boring than the others, cuz it's real long and might not hold your interest that much. I have a few perverted jokes here, and if you're some old granny who's faint of heart, then I recommend that you not read them. I mean, c'mon, people! They're not that nasty!
Anywho, here are my Shout-outs, peoplez!…:
To Suzaku's Rose: Wow! I'm SOOOOOOO glad that you like my story! So far, I counted 11 reviews in all! Waytago, Lynn! I'm so proud of this little fic! Here's another chapter! And tell me which pairings you like!
~NNBBSS
To CC: Alright! I got another reviewer, and it's from YOU! One of the authors from my Favorite Authors List!!! I'm so happy you thought my story was, "a real hoot!" And I've resolved to change my summary every time I post a new chapter. And I still cannot say THANK YOU!!! enough to show my THANKFULNESS!!! that you dedicated a chapter to me!!! ^_^
~NNBBSS
Disclaimer: I do not own them. That Sam-I-Am! I do not like them, Sam-I-Am! I do not like Green Eggs and Ham. Nor do I like eating mass quantities of tofu and soymilk. So blame Beast Boy for the mass outbreak of diarrhea.
Chapter Twelve: A Brief Briefing and a Little Cheating
"Dude, I swear, those two pussies are SO washing the dishes tonight!" Beast Boy wiped his brow and picked up the third leg, now severed, of the sofa. He stuffed it in a black contractor clean-up bag and sighed. The living room was in tatters.
The girls had shredded everything. The PS2 was blown into a pile of ashes, the plasma screen 72" TV had been smashed by the ceiling, the sofa had been emptied of its cotton stuffing and rusted springs, the fridge was lying on its side—the contents of which had been devoured by Beast Boy—and one man's anus was in excruciating agony.
Starfire poked her head out from a mound of fluffy, white, cottony threads and smiled, "Do not worry, Beast Boy! I am sure our friends will eventually assist in purging the room from this untidiness! They are only reviving the happiness within them. Raven and Terra will be ecstatic to hear that we intend to have them scour the dishes!" Starfire continued plucking the stuffing from the carpet.
Beast Boy rolled his eyes. Starfire enjoyed helping out a little too much.
Cyborg was in mourning beside the plasma and the PS2. He was sobbing and blowing his nose rather loudly into a light blue hanky and wouldn't stop asking, "Why!? Why!? Why did this happen!?"
Robin stuck his BO Staff underneath the fridge and pushed a secret button. The staff extended automatically as if it were a car jack, and the fridge was elevated to an upright pose. Robin scratched his head. Now the question was how they were going to get the seven-foot, two-ton freeze box back against the wall where it belonged.
He sighed. Raven had never been on good terms with Terra. Their personalities were completely opposite, ensuring that their interests would clash. Terra was a vibrant, fun-loving hussy, who was always trying to crack a joke or fit in.
Raven, on the other hand, was the cool, composed girl. Never displaying her emotions unless they overpowered her aplomb and balance. She was a natural-born genius, and took her only pleasures from reading books and devouring the information they had to offer. She despised anything that disrupted her peace, and preferred to keep silent unless her voice or opinion on matters was required. Demanding respect she was revolted by the irony of pranks and jokes, and turning on enemies with an ardent revenge, Raven was not the kind of girl you would normally mess around with.
Robin sighed again. He would have to prepare himself and the living room for future brawls. There was no making them get along…
And then there was this new girl. She seemed intelligent herself. But this, Marie, was it? This Marie had shown up on their doorstep, actually LIVING in their Tower!—right after the bridge had collapsed. How could they trust her after something like that?
They hadn't even run any checks on the status and location of the person responsible for the demolition…
What if she could control the bridge and the whole setup was just a decoy to let the H.I.V.E. escape? It was possible…
And what had Raven gotten so upset about earlier? The two had come downstairs looking like good friends…
And then when he had asked Raven why Marie had chosen the name Sepia. She had threatened him no to spill the beans. Why would both of them hate Terra so much?
Had Raven really joined up with the dark side like Beast Boy claimed? But Beast was only doing it in rage…Nothing serious…
Nothing to do with Slade…
They were going to have a little talk…
And then there was the malfunctioning door…the girl had had enough time to reside in their home and alter the system…
But then there was the food…
Robin's stomach growled, still complaining of emptiness and desiring more of dinner.
WAIT!!! What if she had poisoned the food? What if she had gotten rotten mussels? After all, Cyborg had been ill shortly afterwards…but no one else was. Cyborg was a robot, and maybe the food was acting up on his system… Perhaps the symptoms varied between them?
Robin gave his head a vigorous shake to clear it. He had remembered something he was supposed to do. "Anyone seen Marie?"
"She went to wash that vinegar crap offa her, remember?" Beast Boy said, sitting down to rest by the counter. "YEOW!!!" He jumped up again, clutching his rear.
"I thought it was only your dick that hurt, Beast…" Cyborg commented, finally pulling out of weeping.
"It hurts all over!" he rubbed his buttocks and growled, "Raven, you are SO dead…"
Robin ignored Beast Boy's moans and complaints and started up the mile-high stairs. We really need to install an elevator… or an escalator at least…
*******
Marie was huddled in the corner of her bed, eyes wide, still meditating on her thoughts from the shower. What had Poseidon's hand meant? And why was she getting so many forebodings from this mystery? And who owned that weird voice?
She turned tentatively to face a pouting Terra. The girl had a furrowed brow and her lips were curled back in an ugly frown. Her eyes threw daggers and shot lightning bolts at her graffiti messages.
Cree-py…Marie thought. There is nothing in this world that will EVER—
"KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!!!"
Her thoughts were interrupted by the thuds of a fist on the door. "Marie? Are you in there?"
"Who wants to know?"
"Can I come in? I need to talk to you." Robin was outside attempting to type in the code that would open it up. So far, he was unsuccessful.
Marie went to the entrance and slapped her hand on a pad. The door opened, but only a sliver of her wan face was visible through the crack.
"Hey, can I talk to you in there?" Robin was growing impatient. This girl was starting to turn out like Raven…always peering through cracks in doors…
"If you want to be victim of foul play, I suggest you stay and witness Terra's wrath."
Robin cocked an eyebrow and tried to get a glimpse past Marie at the so-called wrath of Terra, but Marie pushed him aside, stepped out and slid the door shut.
"What is it?" She asked, rather harshly, as Robin noticed.
"Remember what I told you at dinner?"
"About that 'thing,' isn't it?" Marie looked at him questioningly. I wonder why he's always trying to get me to do things…
"Yes. And it's very important—make that urgent…I have to talk to you." Robin fidgeted with one of the compartments attached to his utility belt and stared at the ground. He felt guilty for something…But what? He was only going to inform her of her duties as an aspiring member of the Titans.
She was only thirteen. Only a freshette in High School. Only a blithe, insouciant, lighthearted girl in a world of destruction, blight, and plague. She was only supposed to do what was expected of her.
He was only fourteen. Only a rugged, incisive, proficient young man of commandeering and gendarme. He was only informing her. Only dumping a load of crap on this fragile little kid who knew nothing of the pains of the real world.
"Well, duh, haven't you already established that?" Marie rolled her eyes and placed a hand on her hip.
"Alone." His eyes started to dart around in apprehension.
"No 'Team Meeting'?!" she feigned surprise.
"No Team Meeting. This is serious. Y-you might get banned from the Titans if—well, just come with me…" His hands dropped to his sides.
"Right. Lead the way." She gazed at the back of his inky black head as they filed through the dank, dreary metal hallways.
What's up with him? And where did the entire gung-ho attitude leak? And why was he so hostile to me before? Geez, Cy was right, Robin seriously needs to lay off the hair gel…Looks like the Valdez oil spill…
Marie's shoulders were shaking lightly as Robin stopped in front of his room. He went in, and gestured for her to enter when she hesitated.
Robin felt much more composed in his own environment. This was his home turf. The qualms vanished in a whiff of smoke, and his resolute, dubious manner returned.
Her first impression of his room was awe. There were millions of newspaper clippings, bagged evidence, collections of weapons, streamlined, supple costumes, and posters of Batman and the Titans. But most of all, there was a laminated photo of Slade tacked onto the wall by the edge of his bed. And what was more, there were several darts stuck in his nose, forehead, and mysterious eye.
Marie finally understood that Robin was not some intrepid kid who launched himself headfirst into every crime scene he stumbled upon. Robin fought with honor and dignity. He was a solemn young man who held the theology that the only good criminal was a dead criminal. And judging from the photographs of his friends, there were no other people in the whole world for whom he would lay down his life for.
Marie suddenly felt a surge of longing. She had friends with whom she hung out with, but never any that shared that deep a connection with her. If she were being murdered, would they be there to save her? If she were drowning, would they dive into the foreboding waters without question or a second's hesitation? The answer was simple and short. No frills, no thrills, no lengthy explanations.
No.
Her friends might be willing to help her cheat on the Health Test, but they would need a lot of persuading to even attempt going near a crime scene.
She had a desire to devote herself to Robin's cause of justice. To be accepted as a protector, a server, a heroine to everyone. But most of all, to fit in…
She had remembered what a cop had once said to her old class during Career Day: "There are people who say that they would die for their mother, father, sister, brother, friend. They would die for the people they know and love and care about. But we are out there everyday dying for people who we don't even know…" Her chest was heaving with emotion. She was willing to save innocent souls from anything that got in her way…ANYthing.
Robin took a breath and sat down on the bed. "You have to realize, that I'm not sure your capabilities will be efficient enough to pass the Sufficiency for Titans Admittance Test. In fact, I hope that you have at least some—"
"—TEST???!!! What test!!!??? No one told me about any test!!!" Marie's visions of heroic deeds suddenly vanished like a whisper in the wind. She felt herself shatter into a million pieces, fall into a bottomless pit of disbelief, whirl endlessly in a swirling pattern…What was with this test? Every time she found something worthy of her interest and attention, it was always being ruined at the last minute…
"Well, naturally no one told you. I was just faxed a memo concerning the subject. It was just passed a few hours ago—"
"A FEW HOURS AGO???!!! What kind of city is this? Where you can just get laws passed in a few damned hours?!"
"Marie. You're over-reacting. You have to understand this. I need you to be quiet while I explain. I can't be interrupted."
I swear, someday, I will be driven to vandalism of government policy files…More like a felony for assault on the mayor…
Grumbling, she sat down on the other end of the bed and faced him, nodding.
"Alright. It may sound confusing, but here goes…
"First I must explain to you about Police Policy and the Hierarchy involved. Here, in Jump City, the Lieutenant governs nearly everything—"
"—What the hell did they do with the Commissioner? I thought he was the damned person to run all this fucking policing shi—Oops…"
Robin stared at her blankly, his mouth hanging open and his eyebrows plastered high on a formidable forehead. "What have I told you about cursing? And interrupting?"
Sighing, Marie folded her hands, crossed her ankles, and sat up straight, alert and focused.
Robin continued, apparently pleased with her sudden change of attitude, "You see, the Lt. is related to Mayor Phukker. He's the mayor's fifth cousin quatrice removed on his mother's uncle's grandmother's cousin's father's side. The Mayor would do anything for the Lt., as long as it does not involve relinquishing any money from the Jump City Federal Bank. Commissioner Ahz-Hulle is a man with no backbone. He fears for his position. The Mayor has the power to devise a way to frame him for crimes such as fornication, and, considering that the Commissioner is paid nearly $2,000 and hour by the government, he is not in a hurry to resign. Therefore, the Commissioner/Chief of Police, although he resents his actions, allows the Lt. to run the show around here.
"The Lt. is a ruthless man who regards criminals and citizens alike. He rarely showers. You need to know this because if we win a battle and he gets there in time to see it, he will get in your face and try to intimidate you until your knees shake. So be sure to hold your nose or else face the consequences of breathing in a kickin' smell. He despises us and we despise him. Lt. Dickhed regards Jump City as his territory, and we are his rivals. He believes that organized crime should be left to the JCPD, and we toddlers are not granted control over as much as a simple matter of petty thievery. He doesn't even appreciate us condemning a mugger. We are left with rescuing stranded kittens that have braved the fastidious heights of neighborhood sidewalk trees, taking neurotically vicious strays to the pound, and apprehending careless litterbugs.
"He tries to make our lives as hard as he possibly can." His voice went deathly calm, and his even intonation resonated with a shudder, "And now, things've just gotten a lot harder…"
Marie looked at him quizzically, and Robin gave an answer that made her heart skip around a mile and three blocks.
"You have to take a test. If you fail, you can never be a Titan…He's just gotten word of your arrival, and he wants to prevent the team from getting larger. So, using his abnormally small yet evil cranium, he's devised an exam that will test your efficiency and skill. You're to take the test tomorrow morning and then undergo a health check. When was the last time you saw the doctor?"
"If I fail I don't get in!?" Her face was contorted with a rather speculating consternation.
"Answer my question."
"L-last December." She stuttered, still unsure of whether or not she was up to the task.
"Then you'll have to let Cyborg scan you." Robin rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
"UNDRESSED???!!!" Marie sprang up from the bed and placed her hands on her hips, standing there defiantly, and all thoughts of failing rapidly exited her bemused mind.
"Calm down. I meant do a little scan. Nothing serious. Just to ensure that you're healthy. You are in good shape, right?" Robin looked her over. That's the fifth time…
"Uh, it's not like I work out or anything…" she started nervously shifting from one foot to the other. Robin leaned over and pinched her arm…hard.
"OW! You motha effing jerk! What the heck was that for?!" she clenched the spot and rubbed it.
"To test body fat. You've got some meat on you. But no muscle. If you don't try your best, we're pushing you to the limit until you work on your physical composition. I'm serious about how well you can comprehend what they give you. They'll ask you typical questions, like who founded Jump City, civil conduct and laws, illegal items, and so on. We have a database compiled on everything that you need to know about—"
Robin paused and glanced around the room at his collection of masks swiped from Slade's robots. Everything was centered around that man…"—the villains…" there was a brief silence that followed, and Marie could feel the air thick with hatred.
"Robin?"
"Yes?"
"Can I ask you something?"
"Shoot."
"Do you still doubt me?" the question sprang from her mouth like a gazelle, hesitant and gentle, but fleeting.
Without looking up, Robin asked, "What are you talking about?"
"Don't try to deny it. I've heard the way you talk about me. Like I'm some kind of escaped convict, or a renegade psychopath. You think I'm one of them, don't you?"
Robin raised his head and met with a bittersweet face. Her eyes were mournful and vague, as if she were searching for something, yet she tried to muster the little cheer within her to create a smile…
"Alright, I admit it. At first—…" Robin stopped.
How would she take what he had to say?
"Marie—at first, I thought that the event on the bridge was set up so you could aid the H.I.V.E. in their escape. And then I thought that you were trying to poison us with the food…But then here I am and I find you getting along perfectly with everyone."
Everyone except you…She thought to herself.
"Making a break-through to Raven and sharing her interests when most of us never bothered. And then allowing Terra to remain in your room—"
"—I didn't allow her, I was forced to!" Marie finally managed a grin. Her face had gone through a transformation: Her eyes were now dancing and amused.
Robin noticed this, relieved that she wasn't sobbing her eyes out or making a scene out of it like Terra would.
"I thought you might be, well, angry about what I said, but—"
"—But I'm not! Oh! Robin, I thought that you just plain hated me! Now…so, you don't hate me? Nobody here hates me?"
"Of course not! Well, maybe Terra…I dunno what's gotten into her…recently, she's been acting more dramatic than usual."
"Are you sure she hasn't been associating with anyone?"
"Yeah, positive…you know, she's been eyeing Beast Boy lately. Think they'd make a considerable couple?" He winked at her, making her fidget.
What about Raven?
"Ummm…I dunno…Somehow, gravel and nature don't seem to make that swell of a pair…Sort of a city girl-country guy clash…"
"I guess…" Robin started to drift off absently to cloud nine, floating amongst crisp, downy thoughts of his own…Mostly concerning one lively red-head…
"Robin?"
"Hmm?"
"Can I ask you something else?"
"Yes."
"You'll tell the truth, right? No dancing around the subject?"
"Of course!"
"Why was there a camera in the shower?"
"WHA—?!" Robin was astounded.
"Cyborg put it there, didn't he? Do you guys peek in on the girls?" Marie was sober, no doubt about it.
"Cy wouldn't do anything like that. Nor would Beast Boy. They may sound like sick jerks, but they only joke around. They're not perverts or anything. I know them well, and they definitely show respect for personal boundaries. I swear it. They wouldn't."
Marie was still skeptical as to the boys' innocence in the matter. Her thoughts trailed off towards the voice that had so rudely intruded upon her showering time.
Should I tell Robin? She asked herself.
NO! He'll think you're schizophrenic and there's no way that a mentally challenged person is going to be a part of the Titans.
But what if the voice WASN'T your imagination? What if it was some sort of mind-control thingy?
You mean like sending hypnosis waves through telepathy? It could happen…
Marie decided to drop her little conscience conversation and forget about the voice.
"What about you? Do you try and get a look at Starfire's mammary glands?"
"Shut-up and be serious. You know that I wouldn't."
Marie laughed, "Right. I know how boys think. I bet you're sitting in your room with the monitors surrounding you and you say, 'Damn. That's one smooth slu—' er—never mind…" she trailed off slyly, and watched with satisfaction as Robin's face underwent one of his extremely rare transformations into tomato-juice red.
"Maybe I should go over the procedures of the examination first?" he muttered threateningly.
"Hmm? What's that? You wanna go over the steps of pre-menstrual syndrome first? Well…maybe you should brush up on your lap-dancing—I mean lesson planning with Star before telling me why PMS is essential to the test."
"No, really, I'm not in the mood for joking right now. Remember the consequences if you fail?" His masked eyes met her own. They were two white slits of sunlight seeping through a sea of murky blackness.
Marie suddenly paled, dropping the smart-ass act and bit her lip, "What do I have to do?" she rasped. Lord, why do I get all shaky when it comes to this effing test?
"First, there's a bubble sheet for you to fill out. It's mostly the usual things, like name, gender, DOB, address, Nationality, school, grade-level, etceteras."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know about all that crap, we take bullshi—I mean, bitcha—I mean—oh, what the fu—dammit! Nevermind, I mean that we always take tests like that crap every year. I know all about the bubbly stuff. I'm talking about what happens when I wake up in the morning. Do any certified freaks in suits come to pick me up and take me to the ward or something?"
Robin stared with a stern look carving into his features for a moment, still dwelling on her futile attempts not to curse. Then he snapped back into reality, brushing off the stark admonition he had wanted to give her.
"No, you just wake up, eat a BIG breakfast, wash up, get on the uniform you're wearing now, wait in the living room with everyone while they review you with questions until Cy pulls up with the car, and then we'll drive you up. Once you get there, they'll give us all visitors' Ids, tell us to go to some floor at the very top, make us sit in the waiting room for an hour-and-a-half, and then you go in."
"Wow, don't you have it narrowed down. Is that all? You guys don't get to come in and watch?"
"No, we'll be lounging in the lounge. Don't be surprised if the officers glare at you like you're rotting road kill or anything. The Lt. will have everything set up to make you sweat an ocean…And I don't doubt that you would—" she frowned at him, "—And the receptionist by the main desk at the ground floor will claim that the elevator's busted and make us climb all the way to the top, even though that's a white lie. Their elevators are always in working condition.
"Oh, and another thing. When you get to the top, you might want to gather your wits, because you'll be exhausted out of your mind. Once you get in, I don't know WHAT they'll do to you besides the tests. One is a physical examination, the other is an answer-sheet, another is a written essay, and another is a physical endurance/power potency test. Those are all that I know of." Robin glanced at her.
She yawned, stretching her arms and cricking a few joints.
"Hold up, you said there's something for my powers?!"
"Yeah, why?"
"Robin, you dunce, I'm not ready for that shit yet! I can barely control them!"
"Ha, don't act so worried, you remind me of Terra. Besides, I saw you showboating your powers during dinner. You're fine."
Marie still had a handful of doubts, "Sure I am…" she muttered.
"Come on…Raven told me about the wave…" he paused, searching her face for a reaction.
"She did?! Well, then you also know that I almost fucked everyone up!!!"
Robin shrugged, "We're in danger all the time. Besides, if either Starfire or Raven wanted, they could've picked you up and flown out of harm's way. And watch your mouth."
Marie was stunned. "So you're saying that we could've gotten out of our little mess and I wouldn't've had to do all that?!" She started to feel a little churning of annoyance deep down in her guts.
Robin cracked a grin, "Yeah. So?"
Something was rising inside of her. Marie did not like to be played…by ANYone. "Bitches…all of them…" she muttered under her breath. And then she suddenly remembered with a surge of guilt and remorse that she was swearing at the very people who had taken her in and befriended her…
"Oh." Was all she said aloud.
There was a pause and she leaned back to stare at the clippings on the ceiling. The front page had been torn off the JC Times and had a picture of Starfire jumping off of a rather large cosmo-ship that was up in plumes of smoke and flames. Robin held her hand tightly as they plummeted to the ground. The headline read, "TAMARANEAN MAIDEN AND BOY WONDER ESCAPE FROM MISUNDERSTANDING WITH GORDANIAN POLICE" Marie stared at their hands, Starfire's slim fingers enclosed in the roguish green gloves belonging to Robin. They SERIOUSLY need to get hooked up…
"Robin, don't you think it's time you and Starfire got going? I mean, you're already fourteen, and the average life span of a human is 80. That's 66 years already wasted, man!"
"No, I think it's about time YOU got going on some of that studying of yours. Now come on." Robin leaped from his bed, "Let's GO…"
Marie sighed, "Alright, alright, I'm coming…" and then she got a wicked brilliant idea, "Can't I at least throw a dart at Slade's eye before we go?!"
Robin thought about this for a minute, turning and tumbling and analyzing the thought in his head; and then nodded, replying in a grave voice that seemed to ricochet off the metal walls, "Alright. Go ahead, give him your best shot."
Well, if she hates…that…son of a bitch as much as I do, there's nothing that will stop her from making this shot. We just have to see what she has to offer…If she doesn't make it…then she can kiss my ass for all I care…
Robin was tough, and when it came to Slade, he went over the edge. Marie had no idea what she'd gotten herself into…
Bending down to grasp one of the red-tailed darts, she could sense Robin's eyes boring into her skull as she turned. Suddenly, a bead of sweat slowly crawled down her forehead. I'm getting worked up over a freaking dart? Come on, girl, pull yourself together.
This had to be done with precision. Everything rested on one flick of the wrist. She needed perfect hand-eye coordination, velocity, agility, and most of all, confidence…
Robin wouldn't stop looking like the fate of the world rested on her shoulders.
Dammit, he's making me nervous, the ass…
She raised her arm, slowly bringing the dart to shoulder level, and squinted at her target. Slade's repulsive eye seemed to glint at her. She tried to remember what she had learned from one of her friends…
Daggonnit, what did Justin say? Was it—fling your wrist straight and aim hard? Or something else? This is one of the weirdest tests I've ever taken. But he's fucking serious…Oh man…
Oddly enough, the muscles in her hand were flexing. Her fingers were anchored to the missile that would puncture Slade's eyeball.
Then all at once she brought her hand back and flung the projectile at the photo with a mighty hurl. She held her breath as it soared, its streamlined figure slicing through the air…
C'mon! Oh, please, God, don't fail me now. I just need that godforsaken dart to make contact with his ugly old eye and I'm good to go…
It was in midair. It's path was straight and true. Robin's face seemed to almost light up with optimism. But…his skylight had been open. A draft blew in and stirred the ruby-red feathers on the back of the dart, sending it downward. The missile sliced through the paper at Slade's heart.
Marie gaped. She was speechless…but her mind was filled with profuse profanity.
NO!!!GODDAMMIT NO!!! HELL NO! SHIT NO! FUCK NO! NO!!! Dammit, PLEASE NO!!! NO! NO!! NO!!!
The slit's in Robin's mask narrowed. All other esteems and aplomb towards the girl vanished instantly.
I guess she never had what it takes after all. He thought. What he said was, "You can go study now. All 112,890 pages of texts are beside the Main Computer Console. I'm sure everything at JCPD HQ will go swell…" He turned his back on her and stalked out of the room so fast, his cape billowed out behind him.
Marie stared after his retreating back then turned back to Slade's malevolent face. Snarling obscenities under her breath she tore his face from the wall and stuffed him ruthlessly in one of the many pockets on her cargoes and trudged out of the room.
In the Main Computer Console Room, (MCCR), she nearly tripped over herself at the sight of a mountain of paper almost as high as her hip.
"Oh man! I am SO effing dead! Look how much shit I hafta study…" she flipped through a freshly stapled packet titled, "Jump City: A Historical Compilation from Founding Fathers to Modern Metropolis." It alone had over 300 pages.
The MCCR was a large room, and served as both a storage area and technicians base for the tower. There were no chairs. And the desks were layered with speakers, cords, CDs, floppies, and who knows what else. Marie sighed deeply, scooped up the "recycled" papers and stormed out.
"Wonder what time it is…" she wondered aloud, and craned her head over the stack at the digital clocks that were strategically placed in the corridors.
12:01 A.M. Flashed one. And Marie's brain flashed: DAMN! "I gotta get a move on!" she moaned, and raced into the living room, searching for a relaxing place to concentrate. Stupid Move. Living Rooms are normally not very popular areas known for their allowance of concentration…
She flung herself at the spot where the sofa—er—WAS. She landed on the cold metal floor with a thud. The papers scattered to the far corners of the earth…
"Oomph! What the fu—?! Where in God's name is the couch?!" She turned to Beast Boy, who had about three bags of ice wrapped around his waist and between his legs.
"Raven trashed it, remember?" Beast Boy winced and pointed to a large pile of black bags by the entrance. Two legs from the coach stuck out and stray pieces of cotton stuffing dotted the otherwise bare floors.
"I see she trashed your testicles, too, huh?" Marie stared at the ice and laughed.
"Yeah, well, you gonna trash this place over again, or what?" he leered.
Marie let a sheepish grin escape, and crawled around on her hands and knees to gather her two-ton study guide. It seemed to take forever…
*******
Meanwhile in the training room, where everyone else was gathered, Robin had waltzed in looking especially perturbed. (A.N.: Yeah, I know that 12 at night is a pretty funky time to train, but hey, who knows when a villain will strike? They hafta be prepared, people!)
"Yo, Robin! What's with the long face, man?" Cyborg queried.
"Marie…" he started, then drifted off, not knowing how to phrase his turbulent thoughts.
"Ahh, you gave her the ole Fuck-Slade's-Eye-Up-With-A-Dart Test didn't you?"
Robin nodded and crossed his arms.
"And our most recent friend was unsuccessful, correct?" Starfire muttered, rather disappointed.
Again, Robin nodded.
"Man, you can't expect her to get everything right, you know. Shortie can't ace every test. Sheee-yit, she ain't even gotten the real thing yet…"
Robin gave him the what-damned-bitchass-point-have-I-stressed-so-fucking-often-about-bullshit-cussing? look.
"What is—'Shortie'?" Starfire asked. Cyborg rolled his eyes and turned to Robin.
"You didn't give her all that crap to look at, did you?"
"It was only 112,890 pages…I don't see a problem…"
Cyborg groaned, "C'mon Star, let's leave the Boy Wonder alone with his wacked conscience. And with that, the alien and the android walked out.
*******
After returning to the MCCR, Marie was on the brink of exhaustion. So far, she'd only skimmed 801 ½ pages of text so boring, it was nauseating.
That's…112,088 ½ to go…
Marie gave a raging sigh that came out more like a wheeze, and tore up one of the stapled packets. Her brow came down to meet her dark eyes, and her bottom lip curled out in a pout.
Darn Robin! How the hell am I supposed to finish hammering this shit into my head? It's not my fault that my cranium was too small to fill it with all this fucked-up mess…There is NO way that I will EVER be able to get this finished in time…I'm just gonna be another godforsaken kid on the streets again…
She rolled over on her stomach, laid her sweaty forehead on the cold metal floors and muffled out a dull, exasperated moan, "I'm going to fail…"
The shadow of the stack of information fluttered a little, as if the papers were teetering, but nothing stirred, and the shadow just kept wrinkling and darkening, as if it were being rinsed or wrung of water.
Just then the door clicked, opened, and revealed Cyborg and Starfire.
Marie raised her head, and asked, "What are you two doing here? Are you going to lecture me on how to properly throw a dart?"
Cyborg cocked an eyebrow, "What're you talkin' 'bout?" Starfire played along and feigned surprise.
"I know Robin told you. He gets all pissed, and whenever he walks past you, he's got the reason written plain on his face. It's all too obvious that you know."
"Alright. Yeah. He was pissed for you dissin' him, so he's all sulky now. And yeah, we also know why his attitude is all fucked up. And no, we're not here to lecture, we're here to help you cheat."
Marie's eyes widened, and she sat up on her knees. "No, seriously, as in, CHEAT?! On THE Test?! Help MOI?! For REAL?!?!?!" Her optimism was suddenly quelled by a sneaking suspicion and a rising doubt, "Or are you just messin' with me?" her eyes were thin.
Cyborg gave a rolling hoot of laughter and turned back to her, "No, shortie, we only helpin' you cheat, nothin' more."
Finally, Starfire piped up, "And how are we to go about assisting our comrade in the defrauding of this examination?"
"Simple. Hey, Rae, you can come out now!" Cyborg called around the room, but to no avail, as there was no intelligible response.
So, he tried again, "Ray-VEHN!!! Yo! I know you're in here, Dark Girl! I ain't playin', we know you haven't been in your room! Get yo ass ova hur!"
Raven finally materialized from the shadow of the pile, her mouth pursed in a disgusted frown, "I do not appreciate you telling my ass what to do."
Starfire gasped. Both Cyborg and Friend Raven had used the A-word! Oh! Robin would not be happy to hear about this!
"Alright, no time for salutations, I need y'all to gather 'round, cuz I got a plan…"
The four huddled in a tight circle, while Cyborg made wild gestures in the air. From time to time, he would point to each individual member of the connivers, and give them instructions. Overall, he received several stunned stares and outraged complaints.
When they finally disengaged from their scheming, Marie was still dubious as to the success-rate of the actual mission. "Do you think it'll actually work?"
"Of course it'll work! Why ya think I have ten times as many neurons as you do?!" Cyborg defended his so-called "brilliant" plot.
"Yes, but it's been proven that people use only 1/10 of the brain. I suppose that 1/20 of your cells are brain-dead from all those useless video games. Therefore, your plan is only 1/20 brilliant, and 19/20 insanely stupid."
Cyborg gritted his teeth, "Oh yeah? Well I reckon all those gassy candles and incense get you high all the time! That's why you float when you meditate!"
"Friends! Let us instill tranquility into our souls! Perhaps it is more proper to depart and have time to freeze over…"
"You mean cool down?" Marie rolled her eyes. When it came to slang, Starfire could never get the lingo down.
"Yeah, let's split, y'all. If Robin finds out, he'll go ballistic. Beast Boy's pissed at Raven for doing a number on his cock, and Terra's pissed at Raven for sweatin' on her man. So, there's no way any of them will help if Raven's helping…"
For some reason, Raven's leer got even leery-er at the mention of Terra's "man."
Marie watched her, rather amused at this show of hostile emotions.
The Titans sneaked out of the MCCR, nodded to each other, and went their separate ways. Starfire went back to her room, Cyborg went down to the Living Room to try to beat Beast Boy's butt on the PS2, and Raven took the stairs up to the roof. Marie followed her.
As Raven reached the door, she turned around to face Marie. "What do you want?"
"Well, wasn't that question a little pointed? I just wanna hang, that's all."
"If you want to hang, go find the gallows. Other than that, I have nothing else to say to you." Raven touched the plasma-pad, and the door swung open automatically.
Wow…isn't she harsh? I wonder why? We were almost friends before…Maybe it's Terra? Or Beast Boy? Oh, the hell! I'm going to find out why she's all seclusive alluva sudden…
Marie stood behind Raven and tapped her on the shoulder.
It was evident that Raven did not enjoy being disturbed, judging from the looks of the stifling glare she gave a startled Marie.
"Ahem…uhm…can I join you?" Marie gave a nervous smile, and half-bit her lip in apprehension.
Is she going to blow me up?! I didn't do anything! I swear I didn't, I only asked her a question, and it wasn't a pointless question either!
Raven eyed her, for the sixth time that day, and softly patted the ground beside her.
She silently gestured for Marie to sit down and indicated the proper Lotus Position she was to assume.
Marie felt her legs cramp as they sat there. Robin was right about the training thing…
Yes, he was. Raven thought.
Oh, shut-up! I know my body compo isn't the best in the world, but hey, you have to admit that I know how to kick some Titan ass.
Not mine.
Alright! Not yours, I never succeeded in kicking your ass, but I got the others pretty good.
Actually, they were only disorganized. The sight of a little girl inhabiting Terra's old room came as a sort of shock to them, I'll have you know.
Oh yeah, about Terra…Why is she even here? I mean, how is it that she can just stay here for any old reason?
You tell me.
What?
After all, you are the reason she is remaining here.
And just what ARE you trying to get at here? If you hate me for one little thing, why not just cuss me out now and get it over with? I mean it's POINTLESS to keep your emotions hidden.
Oh really? You think it's pointless to risk your friends' lives all for the sake of a temper?
I'm lost here.
Yes, you generally are.
*Tch* Raven, come ON!
I'm even beginning to speculate that you might be related to Beast Boy. How quaint.
Yes, I like to think that you would enjoy having me for a sister-in-law… Marie let the last thought sink in, and flipped an eyelid to watch the change in Raven's face. But it remained cold and insensitive, as always. The only change came in the form of a menacing voice inside of her head.
What's that supposed to mean?!?!?! The voice hissed.
Wow, Raven, and I was under the impression that I was the only one to be lost. Yeah, I'm beginning to think that you're related to Beast Boy, too…By matrimonial standards, of course…
How dare you?!
Hmm? How dare YOU? Well, yeah, I suppose that you would dare to lap-dance with Beast Boy if the opportunity came upon you. Of course, there are your emotions to worry about. You might just blow his cock to smithereens if you're not careful. But then there's always protection from condoms. Maybe you and him should hitch a ride to the store to see if they have some that protect against telepathic orgasm waves. Heck! You can even become a professional circumcisor when you're old enough! I mean, the sight of ANYone's dick would be enough to slice it off for me…or, in your case, blow it off…
I think that there is a word for people like you.
Oh really, and what would that be?
Perverted.
Well, I like to think of it as more of a dirty mind thing. Of course, I'm only talking freaky for your own good.
Yes, and I'd be much obliged if you'd shut-up for YOUR own good.
Hooker
Shut-up
Wench!
Shut-up!
Hussy!!
Shut-UP!!
Freakaleak!!!
After this, the mental link was disconnected, and Raven stood up, giving Marie and icy glare as she stalked off of the roof and over the edge—I mean, stalked towards the stairwell.
Marie gave a rather simpering sigh and marched after her towards the devil's lair, otherwise known as her room, only with Terra as a roommate. There was a lot of stuff she would have to discuss with herself…
*******
A.N.: Woooooo!!! Raven luvs Beast Boy! Okay, sorry to CC, who is an avid Rave&Rob fan, but this one's for Rave/Beast and Star/Rob!
But there is good news for you, too, my friend! Because once I finish this fic, I'll be free to write as many as I want, and I have about three well-developed ideas, including a Horror/Humor/Suspense/Drama/Adventure/Romance for Raven and Robin! And when this is done, (which will probably take forever), I will start right into that, and I hope that you will put it on your favorite stories list!
Lynn, yes, I am unduly sorry! I broke the deal! You are the witness! I will be convicted on the charge of breach of contract! WOW!!! My first felony!!! ^_^
Next chapter, Marie has a little talk with herself. It will be one of my shorter chapters, more like a mental editorial from her point of view, but w/e. And I promise that I will try hard not to get sucked into a worm hole, as long as I have reviewers to pull me back!!!
Peace out ppl.