Author: Well, well, here I am, typing again when I should be sleeping. But it's worth it for all those wondrous reviews!
*Chibi-Kaz: HUGS! Thank you for the compliment…I do try to stay close to Tolkien's language, but it's difficult!
*Dimfuin: Thanks, glad you like it! And I'm working on the young man, slowly but surely…;)
*Telhyandowen: Gosh, I'm going to get a big head if you keep reviewing me like that! Thanks
*NerinaDragonstongue: Here's your update!
*LSOA: You are so awesome! Have fun at Disney…band rocks!
*Lariren-Shadow: I'll probably continue this story through the "Starry Mantle" scene, with some kind of epilogue. Thanks for the review!
Disclaimer: I own none of this, and I'm not making any dough from it.
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along.
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March 23
What a day this has been…if I made any progress towards healing these past three days, I fear I have undone it all through my cowardly conduct. I will apologize to Faramir tonight, but I must record the circumstances first.
A strange dream visited me last night. In my mind I rejoiced, for I saw my uncle again, strong and hale. He was entering a great hall, larger than Meduseld, and everything was covered in gold. Many men, obviously of great rank, sat in honor around a long table, and turned to face Theoden as he approached. The lord at the head of the table stood and met him, clasping his hands in brotherly affection, then turned and gave a loud cry. The other men stood and echoed him, and my uncle took a seat at the table.
I knew what this meant. Theoden has gone to the halls of his fathers, and has entered there with no less honor than Eorl himself, who greeted him. But the remainder of the dream puzzled me.
It seemed that I was walking through a thick fog. Twas not evil, but neither was it harmless, for there were voices in it. Some of them resembled the voices I heard while under the Black Breath, but some sounded like my brother. One voice stood out from the rest, and I recognized Aragorn's kingly tones. I continued my way through the mist, for I had the strangest feeling that I had to find something.
After many frustrating minutes, the mist cleared, and I found myself standing at the edge of a giant canyon. There was only oppressive darkness to be seen in its depths, but I stood on the very brink of the cliff. My brother and Lord Aragorn called to me from behind, urging me to turn and come back, but I could not, for I could not see anything at my back. I could not move.
Then I heard Wormtongue's cursed speech ooze out from the pit. He told me that I was nothing—a worthless woman, suited only for breeding and growing old—that I would never join Theoden in the afterlife and that I might as well leap into the empty blackness.
I tried to deny his words, but I could not find the strength to shut him out. I sank to my knees and sobbed.
Then, suddenly, I felt warmth on my brow and I jerked out of slumber to find myself twisted in blankets and soaked with sweat, my throat hoarse from crying. Faramir leaned over me, eyes dark with concern. I sat bolt upright and looked around my chamber. Several maids and Ioreth were present.
"My Lady Eowyn. It was only a dream. You are awake now, and safe." Faramir withdrew his hand from my forehead and I looked up to meet his gaze.
"Nay, Lord, 'twas all too real for my peace of mind. Why are there people here? Why are you present?"
He gave a grim smile. "Your screams roused the nurses, but none could wake you. They sent for me, since we are known to have become friends, and you awoke when I touched your face."
I clutched a blanket to my throat and calmed my breathing.
"I thank you for that, and apologize for any inconvenience." I asked Ioreth to draw a bath, then turned back to Faramir. He motioned for the maids to leave.
"Perhaps you will tell me what you dreamt of that so upset you, Lady?"
"No, Lord. It is a private matter."
His gaze grew troubled and stern. "I have some experience in interpreting strange dreams, Eowyn. Discussing it might help you to understand it."
I was still upset from the visions in my mind, but that is no excuse.
"No! I do not need you to tell me what my dreams mean, when you still suffer from your own."
Despite my ire, Faramir remained calm. "My Lady, it has not escaped my notice that though you have been given ample opportunities to confide in the maids, the nurses, the warden, and even myself, you will not. Do you hold your grief so dear that you would use it as a shield from life?"
I simply glared at him. Ioreth escorted several buckets full of steaming water into the room and prepared my bath. Then she exited.
"I would! Life is pain, but thinking about my misfortunes only makes it harsher."
"Have you no desire to be healed?"
"I have told many people in this House many times: no." My shoulders sank and my voice was quiet. "Why should I feel again? I will only feel more pain. Now if you will excuse me, I will bathe now."
Faramir, of course, did not press the matter, but bowed and left. It is only now, after a bath and a sleeping-draught that lasted nearly all day, that I can see how badly I behaved. There can be no harm in talking to Faramir about my dream; perhaps it will ease me into telling him the longer, sadder tale of the dilapidation of Meduseld. The Steward sent a note requesting that I meet him at the Eastern Wall this evening, if it is my pleasure, and I shall.
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REVIEW! I don't think this chapter is as good as the last, but hey.