Me Again: Well, here I am again! I really wanted to get this finished by the end of April, in the vain hope of a Mithril nomination, but it doesn't look like I will, since May will be here in two hours. I might get really gung-ho, though, so who knows. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed Healing thus far…you are all amazing.
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March 26
I did not get a chance to talk to Faramir today. He is apparently quite overcome with matters of State, and preparing for the return of the King. Aragorn will be arriving soon.
How will I greet him?
March 27
The hobbit Merry was called away to the Cormallen fields today. I, too, received summons:
My dear sister: I hope this letter finds you well, and that you have regained your strength. Beyond all hope our prayers have been answered, and the Dark Lord is forever vanquished! There is great rejoicing here at the camp as the Ringbearer rests before returning to Minas Tirith. I bid you come and join us, for I have missed you sorely and there are many people I would like you to meet.
-With love, Eomer
I greatly wish to see my brother again, but I will not go. I do not think I could bear to look upon Lord Aragorn, for I would be ashamed. I declared my love for him, but it was a mere infatuation. I know this because my heart feels no loneliness that would be remedied by his presence: I yearn for my brother, for my home, for Faramir who is the truest friend anyone could ask for, but not for Aragorn.
March 28
My first elation at our good fortune has dwindled somewhat. I walked in the gardens again today, but I found no peace there. The dogwood grove is no longer in bloom, and the silence of the woods seems lonely without Faramir there to be silent with me.
March 29
I saw Faramir briefly today. I had not realized how much I miss his company, but when I saw him passing by on the street below the wall my heart lightened, for he was smiling. I called to him and he looked up at me and waved. Soon he passed out of my sight.
To pass the time Ioreth has been teaching me to set broken bones. 'Tis a tricky business, for if it is not done correctly the limb will heal crooked and the patient may be crippled for life. Ioreth says I have a talent for healing. It is strange that a woman who had once lusted after battle should now be mending wounds!
March 30
Eomer sent me another note asking me to ride to the Cormallen, and again I have declined. I hardly ever think of Aragorn these days, and I have no wish to bring him to mind again.
Comfrey poultices can be used on festering sores, bruises, and burns.
March 31
Why? I thought that with the fall of Sauron my dark dreams would pass, but they do not. I was visited again last night.
'Twas the same as before: I struggled through a dense fog filled with evil voices until I found myself at the edge of a great abyss. My brother called me back, as did Lord Aragorn in pity for me, but I could not turn. It was as though I was waiting for something else.
Someone shook me awake and I jerked out of sleep. Faramir was leaning over me looking concerned.
"Was it the same dream?" He asked. I nodded and before I could stop myself I threw my arms around him and let myself feel safe for a moment. He held me briefly, as Eomer would have done, then pulled away.
"They sent for me when they could not wake you. Will you be all right?"
"Why can I not turn away? Why won't it stop? The Shadow is gone, why do my dreams linger?" Tears of frustration fell from my eyes and I angrily wiped them away.
"Perhaps there is something more that must happen, something you must do, before you are truly healed." Faramir gently cupped my cheek. "Do not fear, Lady. Your spirit is wrought of steel; it will take more than a stubborn dream to bring you to your knees." He leaned slightly towards me, then stopped and stood to leave.
"Faramir? My Lord?" I called softly. He turned and looked at me with those deep cloud-gray eyes of his.
"I have missed your company. Thank you for coming." He smiled and bowed, then left.
How much longer must I stay here? My mind wishes to go home to Rohan, but something in my soul bids me to stay, to wait.
April 1
I have been in a bleak mood since the dream revisited my slumber. I snap at Ioreth for no reason, and I spend too much time alone. Yet there is nothing else to pass the time.
April 2
It is the worst thing in the world, to know that you are falling into despair, to watch yourself wither, and yet not find the will to stop it.
April 6
I did not get out of bed today, for what is the point? There is nothing to write of except the dark thoughts that trouble my mind. Ioreth clucks her tongue at me, but cannot understand why I am not interested in life.
April 7
The Warden came to see me today. I was sitting in the gardens, moping like a spoiled child.
"My Lady, why do you undo all the progress you made these past weeks?"
"My heart is sick, not my body, Warden."
"Yet you learned to laugh and smile again until Lord Faramir left." The Warden is quite perceptive for a man of his age.
"The Lord Steward no doubt has more pressing business to attend to than a depressed Shieldmaid. I would not beg his company like a courtier." I glared at the Warden. He sighed and looked into the distance, then glanced sharply at me as though a thought had just occurred to him. He started to speak, then stopped, and a strange glint came into his eyes. He scuttled off without saying another word.
I know they are right. They are all right. I am not helping myself by sulking here, but I am waiting for something, I know not what.
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Me Yet Again: OK! Next up: Faramir's Declaration!!