Unrequited
By Mayhem777
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, or the band Seether, or their song "Driven Under
Warnings: Domestic Abuse, Violence, Swearing, Major angst, and Suicide.
Just for your information, the text Written in bold italics is the song lyrics and the regular italics denotes thought.
Pairings: 6x9, 4x9
Driven Under (Quatre's POV)
Do you think I'm faking
when I'm lying next to you
Quatre was getting ready to go to bed when he heard a knock on his door. He got out of his bed and groggily walked over to it.
"Whose there?"
"Q…Quatre."
Quatre's eyes opened wide, it was Noin. He opened the door and sure enough, she was standing there, crying and shaking heavily.
Do you think that I am blind
nothing left for me to lose
"Noin…oh my god, come on lets get you inside."
Quatre grabbed her by the hand, and led her inside to the couch. He sat her down and went to get a cup of tea. When he returned, he handed her the cup and sat down next to her.
"Noin… tell me, what's wrong?"
Noin began to cry some more "Z…Zechs and I got into a big argument today and he… he."
Noin buried her head in her hands and wept aloud.
Must be something on your mind
something lost and left behind
Quatre put an arm around her and swore to himself. Every time there was a problem between those two, she would always rush to him for comfort and help. He hated to see Noin like this, but he hated Zechs even more for doing this to her.
"Zechs, you bastard, don't you realize you have the perfect woman, why must you always mistreat her. Noin… if only you knew how much I loved you…."
As Quatre gazed at her, he noticed she was covering the side of her face with her hand.
Do you know I'm faking now
"Noin, let me look at your face." He reached for her hand.
Noin shrank back "No Quatre, please don't."
Quatre squeezed her shoulder "Noin please, I'm not going to hurt you, I'm here to help you."
Do you know I'm faking
when I'm lying next to you
Quatre again reached for her hand, this time, Noin didn't pull back. As he removed the hand from her face, his eyes went wide, and his jaw dropped in horror. Under her right eye, there was a black bruise. He immediately stood up; his body began to tremble.
"Oh my god, that, THAT… THAT SON OF A BITCH!"
Do you know that I am blind
to everything you ever do
Up until now, Zechs abuse had been only verbal. But today, he had gone too far. He began pacing back and forth across the room.
"GOD DAMN HIM!"
He suddenly felt a hand gently touch his shoulder; he turned around and saw Noin standing next to him, eyes pleading.
"Quatre, please calm down."
"I CAN'T CALM DOWN, I'M GOING TO GO OVER THERE AND MAKE HIM PAY FOR THIS!"
Must be something on your mind
something lost for me to find
"No Quatre, don't do that, maybe if I talked to him…"
"TALK TO HIM? NOIN HE JUST HIT YOU, YOUR NOT GOING ANYWHERE NEAR HIM!"
"But maybe he just lost his temper."
"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN, HE'S GONE TO FAR! I'M NOT GOING TO LET HIM GETAWAY WITH THIS!"
Do you know I'm faking
"Quatre please, don't get mixed up all this, just let me see him."
Quatre was shocked "What do you mean don't get mixed up, I'm your friend damn it! So no, as a friend, I cannot allow you to go back there and see that man!"
Then she told me she had a gun
it sounded like she'd used it once before on him
Noin looked at him angrily "WHO ARE YOU TO DICTATE MY LIFE QUATRE? IF I WANT TO GO BACK THAN I WILL!"
Quatre slammed his fist on the table, breaking it "GOD DAMN IT, HOW MANY MORE TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO FORGIVE HIM. WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO REALIZE THAT HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU?"
Then she told me she had a gun
it sounded like she'd used it once before, oh man
Noin became furious "AND WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT LOVE? YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND US!"
"WHAT THE HELL IS THERE TO UNDERSTAND! HE YELLS AT YOU, HE MISTREATS YOU, HE EVEN HITS YOU, THAT IS NOT LOVE!"
Noin grabbed her coat "I don't have to listen to this, I'm leaving." She walked out of the door and slammed it behind her.
I guess you know I'm faking
when I tell you I love you
Quatre stood there still trying to process what had happened. He suddenly picked up the teacup, and threw it as hard as he could into the wall. He then crumbled onto the floor and cried.
"Noin… why do you do this to me, why do you put me in so much pain, why do you always leave me for him?"
He remained on the floor until no more tears were shed. He then slowly got up, and put his shoes on.
"I need to go for a walk."
He opened the door and walked outside into the night.
I guess you know that I am blind
to everything you say and do
It was a calm night and there was a slight breeze in the air; but his mind was anything but calm. As he walked down the street, he tried to focus his mind on something else. But no matter how hard he tried, all of his thoughts went straight back to Noin. He had been in love with her for years, but he had always accepted the fact that she was with Zechs, until recently. Now, every time he saw her with Zechs, it felt like she ripped out his heart, and crushed it in her hands.
Must be something on my mind
there's nothing left for me to hide
"Noin, why do you still love him even after all the pain he's put you through. Don't you see that I love you, don't you see the torment in my eyes every time he hurts you, why don't you see it?"
It began to rain, so he started to walk back to his house, still thinking of Noin.
"Noin, if you were with me, I'd never hurt you. I'd dedicate myself to you, and only do things to make you happy. Because that's what you deserve, you deserve the same affection that you give out."
As he reached his doorstep he paused; he had to see Noin, he had to tell her how he felt.
Do you know I'm faking
He jumped into his car, and drove to Noin's house. His heart was racing with anticipation. Thought of rejection, acceptance lingered in his mind. But he pushed them all away; he knew this had to be done. When he arrived he ran straight to the door, but paused when he heard voices.
"But Zechs…"
"SHUT UP, YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, NOW SIT DOWN!"
"Zechs,"
SLAP
Quatre burst through the door, and his mouth dropped.
Then she told me she had a gun
it sounded like she'd used it once before on him
He saw Noin, lying on the ground, hand clutching her cheek. Zechs was standing over her, looking at him.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?"
Quatre felt all his anger for him explode; he ran over to Zechs and tackled him onto the ground. He then began to punch him in the face over and over.
"YOU SON OF A BITCH, I KILL YOU FOR DOING THIS!"
Then she told me she had a gun
it sounded like she'd used it once before, oh man
Quatre stood up and began kicking him in the ribs
"YOU BASTARD, YOU'LL NEVER HIT HER AGAIN!"
Noin got up and ran to Quatre "No Quatre, stop!"
Quatre forced himself to stop; Noin kneeled down next to Zechs and cradle him in her arms.
"Zechs… are you okay?"
Quatre couldn't believe what he was hearing, he punched the wall as hard as he could and stormed out of the door.
We have to, succumb to the feelings we can never face
It was now raining heavily, but Quatre didn't care, he was too mad to care.
"QUATRE!"
Quatre looked behind him and saw Noin running up to him. From the look on her face, he could tell that she was upset.
She reached him and looked him in the eye "WHY THE HELL DID YOU COMEBACK FOR, YOU RUINED EVERYTHING BETWEEN ME AND ZECHS!"
I need you, I breathe you
I can't go through this all again
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN RUINED EVERYTHING? ALL I DID WAS PREVENT HIM FROM HURTING YOU MORE THAN HE ALREADY HAS!"
Noin pushed him forcefully "AND DO YOU THINK THAT BEATING HIM UP WAS GOING TO MAKE THINGS BETTER? YOU'VE HURT ME EVEN MORE THAN HE DID!"
Quatre could feel his mind going into a haze "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SO MAD AT ME? WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS TRYING TO JUSTIFY HIS ACTIONS?"
"BECAUSE I STILL LOVE HIM!"
We have to, succumb to
the feelings we can never face
Quatre looked at her in shock "AFTER ALL HE'S DONE TO YOU, AFTER ALL HE'S PUT YOU THROUGH, HOW CAN YOU LOVE THAT MONSTER! ALL HE'S EVER DONE IS BRING YOU DOWN! TO HIM, YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A LOWLY DOG TO ABUSE! AND THAT'S ALL YOU'LL EVER BE IN HIS EYES!"
Noin slapped him as hard as she could "YOU FUCKING BASTARD, HOW DARE YOU JUDGE ME AND ZECHS, WE HAVE OUR PROBLEMS, BUT WE CAN MAKE IT WORK!"
Quatre's voice rose in anger "IT WILL NEVER WORK BECAUSE HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU!"
"YOU NEVER LOVED A GIRL IN YOUR LIFE, SO HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU KNOW?"
Quatre could not hold it back any longer "GODDAMN IT NOIN I LOVE YOU!"
I need you, I breathe you
I can't go through this…
Noin was taken aback "W…wh…what?"
"You heard me," Quatre's voice softened; his eye's began to tear up, "I've been in love with you for years, but I couldn't tell you. I didn't want to create a conflict with Zechs, but now I don't care. Do you even realize what you put me through all those times you came to me for comfort? Do you realize the torment I went through every time Zechs had wronged you?"
Noin gave him a look "Quatre… is this what it's all about, you're jealous about the fact that I'm with Zechs?"
Quatre felt his heart break "No, I'm jealous of the fact that you would rather put up with that man, then come with me. Noin you know I would never wrong you, please just come with me."
Noin just stared at him "Quatre, Zechs and I are married; I can't leave him just because you love me."
That was it for him, his once broken heart now swelled with rage, Quatre gritted his teeth "THAT'S IT, I TRIED AND I TRIED, BUT YOU STILL WON'T LISTEN. YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO HIM; YOU WANT TO PUT UP WITH HIS ABUSE? FINE, FUCK HIM AND YOU LUCRENZIA NOIN, I'M DONE WITH YOU!"
He grabbed her, kissed her roughly, and ran to his car.
Then she told me she had a gun
it sounded like she'd used it once before…
As he drove down the road, his head was spinning with emotions. He had just spilled his heart out to Noin, and she tore it to pieces. She had opened a wound in his heart that could never be healed. He no longer felt any love toward Noin, just anger, grief, and hatred. He wanted nothing more to end it all, to make the pain go away.
Then she told me she had a gun
it sounded like she'd used it once before on him
He parked the car and slowly walked inside. He sat down on the couch and ran his hands through his hair. His body began to shake as tears flowed down his face.
"Noin, I told you everything, and you brushed me away like I was nothing to you. I guess in the end that's all I've ever been to you… nothing."
With each minute that passed, the pain in his heart grew stronger and stronger. His breathing became heavier as he felt the pain beginning to suffocate him. He clutched his chest tightly as the last of his tears fell from his eyes.
"So this is what I've been reduced too, I have nothing to live for. Without you, there's no more reason for my existence."
He then came to a decision; he was going to take his life.
Then she told me she had a gun
it sounded like she'd used it once before, oh man
Quatre walked over to his closet and pulled out a shoebox. He opened it up, took out a revolver, and a single bullet. He put the bullet into the chamber and cocked the gun.
"So this is it, it's over for me, my life is over…"
As he stood looking at the door, one last tear rolled down his cheek as he raised the gun to his head.
Then she told me she had a gun
she says she wants to use it on me now…
Just then the door opened and Quatre saw an exhausted and soaked Noin. But it was too late; he had made his decision. Not even her presence could change his fate. He looked her in the eyes one last time.
"Noin"
He then closed his eyes and pulled the trigger.
The End