Well here I am again. Let me just say how sorry I am that this took so long. I didn't have this part written out and when I went to write it all my ideas left me *glares at muse* But it's all finished now. So here it is, hopefully as good, if not better than the previous chapters.
Disclaimer: I lay no claim to any of the characters within (I tried holding them hostage but it didn't work, drat!!) they belong to the genius Tolkien and his family.
Author's note: I happen to like John Noble and think he did a wonderful job as Denethor, but I couldn't resist picking on him so please don't flame me for that. Reviews, as always, are appreciated.
Day.. and the story continues or, can't keep a good elf down..
It only took me half a day to reach the city, and another 15 minutes to get up to the top. Nobody told me the layout was like that of a spiral donut. The fluid in my ear is still swirling.
And wouldn't it be just my luck that I would arrive just after lunch. Roasted chicken in a herb marinated sauce, that's gourmet to an elf who's lived on lembas for the past few weeks. Met current ruler, the Steward "Lord Denethor" as he calls himself. Apparently his son was in the fellowship, emphasis on was though. He's a little …...well let's just say that off his rocker would be putting it delicately. It's more along the lines of he could be a poster child for the reasons not to do drugs. His blank stare and constant petting of his dead son's broken horn is just a little creepy.
Have gotten him to let me stay the night, will rest while plotting my next move.
Side note: the aversion to bath water seems to be genetic.
Day.. a rose by any other name or, an elf doesn't change..
It's amazing what a decent meal and a good night's sleep will do for you. Have taken a tour of the palace (too much stone, not enough light-some nice women though) and gotten the tourist's view of the city, slower so as to retain my upright position (who's bright idea was it to design the city in a spiral?). Have also convinced Denethor to let me stay here indefinitely. I mean, he could use the wisdom and experience of a being that is several thousands of years old and has served elven royalty. I am such a diplomat. Must go and make myself very useful in the kitchen (good food and nice women, now I know why I wanted to come back..)
Greatest thing about this place so far: the way they roast their chicken.
Worst thing about this place so far: that stuff they call wine, 250 years is not old. Whoever made this stuff should be fed to the orcs.
Day.. everybody loves Kung Fu Fighting!
Am so ready to toss Denethor over a ledge. To every suggestion I make he replies, "we're all going to die, only Sauron can save us" or, "Boromir, why?" Has he forgotten that Sauron doesn't even have a body (or that he's the reason for us being in the trouble we're in), how can he help? His glazed over look is still in place.
Have since taken to giving impromptu lessons on fighting and self-defense to all available soldiers. They're actually not too bad and they learn quickly. Makes me feel like a March Warden again. Don't be fooled by the sudden turn, just because I don't want these humans to die doesn't mean I like them or wont pull a few pranks on them. Nobody should have to die at the hands of an orc-except the wine makers.
Mental Note: punish the wine makers before showing them how real wine is made.
Day..hot potato..
Have given up on trying to reason with Denethor. Am now dividing time between giving lessons to soldiers and "helping" the people of Gondor. Started with "spicing up" the food given to Denethor's so called advisors. Honestly had no idea that humans could turn that shade of red. Conveniently made sure that that water was "delayed" Serves them right for calling me a "stuck up pansy."
Keeping up with one's appearance, especially when it comes to one's hygiene, is not the attribute of a "pansy."
Side note: have discovered where the tailors set up shop.
Day..passing the mantel or, free at last!
Gandalf arrived today (I thought he was balrog food? Guess I'm not the only one with a new lease on life) with one of the hobbits, who looked at me as if I was Sauron himself. It's so nice to be remembered. Said hobbit placed himself in Denethor's service, guess he thought he'd have a better chance with 2 people of power protecting him. Ha!
Gandalf, oddly enough, was all white-even his hair. Either he thought it was time for a change or that hobbit has been causing him too much stress. Stress it's a killer….
Have passed on the advising duties to Gandalf. He is older and wiser but besides that, anybody that can remove the glazed over look from Denethor's eyes deserves to have the title. Might still keep my daily training sessions going these people really need it. However, will definitely now get on with what I do best, pulling pranks. Will start after I visit the wine makers.
Watch out Gondor here I come!