I, ME, MY LOVE POTION EGGS!

by squidward

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SUMMARY: Hermione accidentally ate a love potion egg and when she woke up the first man she would see would be the subject of her affection… forever! What will Ron do? RWxHGxDM love triangle!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is the Harry Potter version of a Ranma 1/2 episode when Akane swallowed a Love Potion. Ranma fans already know what happened... But there are some changes of course. I only got the idea there. And this fic has nothing to do with the anime "I, Me, My Strawberry Eggs". I just find the title quite amusing and used it here. I'm still wondering what's the connection with that anime's plot and it's ridiculous title [well, when did strawberries get eggs?]

DISCLAIMER: I own Harry Potter and Ranma ½. I own Harry Potter and Ranma ½. I own Harry Potter and Ranma ½. [*loud crash followed and blood spilled all over. Rowling and Takahashi are holding daggers*] Ok, I lied, I lied!!!!!!!!! [*cried loudly and knelt in front of Rowling and Takahashi*] Sorry, Gomen nasai!!!!!!!!!

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I, ME, MY LOVE POTION EGGS!

Chapter I: Professor Flitwick's Biggest Mess

          "Oh Professor Flitwick, I'm so worried, I think I got question fourteen b wrong..." Hermione couldn't believe it. She was exactly saying what Ron jokingly told her to say to Professor Flitwick when they were in first year.

          "Dear you don't have to worry, I assure you, you'll still get the top marks," said Professor Flitwick with a wink.

          Hermione was so worried about her exams. As always. She felt dizzy (maybe a side effect of too much studying) while taking her written test in Charms and didn't have much confidence with the answers she wrote down. She told Harry and Ron about this but they told her not to worry.

          "Your test result would still be far better than ours," Ron said.

          "You will still be the top student I tell you," Harry added.

          But they didn't convince her so she went to the staff room for a sure answer. She sighed in relief when Professor Flitwick hinted that she would still get the top marks.

          "Why are you so worried anyway, Ms. Granger?" Professor Flitwick asked curiously.

          "Well Professor, I got dizzy while taking your exam so..."

          "Too much studying, isn't it? Oh, by the way," Professor Flitwick exclaimed,  "you don't mind helping me with these chocolate eggs, do you? C'mon dear you can share it with your friends, Minerva will kill me if it gets rotten!"

          Unable to refuse Professor Flitwick's offer, Hermione left the staff room with her pockets full of chocolate eggs. 'Ron would be delighted' she thought. When she reached the Gryffindor tower and entered the common room she spotted her two best friends playing Wizard chess, with Ginny watching. It was useless really, she thought again, to play chess with Ron. Harry's pieces were cursing him because they were losing badly.

          "Hi, Hermione," greeted Ginny.

          "Hi," she replied and took the seat beside Ginny.

          "So how's your exam, quite disappointed you have a sole mistake?" grunted Ron without taking his eyes off his chessmen.

          "Shut up Ron, and don't start another row, I'm tired," Hermione said lazily, "by the way, Professor Flitwick gave me some chocolates, thought I'd share it with everyone but I think I'll change my mind," she gave Ron a threatening look.

          "You'd better not!" Ron said, grinning, maybe because he knew Hermione was only joking or because Harry's move allowed him to checkmate the opposing king. Harry turned to Hermione, not wanting to witness his king being smashed horribly by Ron's queen.

          "I don't know Flitwick hands chocolates to top students."

          "Not really Harry, he just got loads and felt he can't eat them all. Just a luck I'm the one he found to share it with."

          Hermione put out the packs of chocolates out of her pockets and spread them all over the table. They ate them silently.

          "Odd shape, this is," Hermione remarked as she examined the chocolate in her hand. It was as large as a real chicken egg.

          "It's still egg-shaped, only unusually large," Ginny commented.

          "A real chocolate egg," Harry chuckled.

          "But the texture is quite strange, and the color is p-"

          "Hermione just eat it! As if Flitwick would poison his best student!"

          Hermione gave Ron one sharp look and bit a small part of the chocolate. As she swallowed it her mind went blank and her stomach flipped. Her vision was blurred and the sound from her surrounding faded. The last thing she heard was Ginny's voice calling her.

          "Hermione! Hermione!"

          And she lost her consciousness, her head landed on the table causing some chocolate eggs to fall on the floor. Harry, Ron and Ginny scanned their bushy-haired friend worriedly.

          "Hey, Hermione, wake up!" Ron shook her.

          "That chocolate, it's not poisonous, isn't it..." Harry said nervously.

          "Of course not! Why would Flitwick poison her?"

          "Then what happened?"

          "Search me."

          Ron carried Hermione's unconscious body to the nearest sofa. "Perhaps she's stressed. Remember she told us she's dizzy while taking the Charms exam."

          "But why the sudden break down? She's perfectly well minutes ago!"

          "Then let's ask Professor Flitwick about this chocolate," said Harry.

          "I'm coming. Ginny, watch her while we're away." Ginny nodded. Ron grabbed the bitten chocolate and followed Harry out of the common room.

          When they reached the staff room, Snape's furious face welcomed them. "Potter, what's your racket this time."

          "We're looking for Professor Flitwick," Harry tried to reply politely because crossing Snape in a foul mood would surely put him into trouble. Snape gave him a piercing look as if waiting for him to do something so he could take points from him. Harry and Ron hurriedly approached Flitwick's table.

          "Oh Potter, Weasley, what do you need?"

          "Professor, we came here to ask about this chocolate," Ron answered with panic and gave the chocolate to Flitwick, "Hermione took a bite and all of a sudden she was unconscious."

          Professor Flitwick eyed the chocolate intensely and mumbled something that sounded like "Oh, Merlin!" He looked at Snape who surprisingly turned to look back as if Professor Flitwick just called him. Harry and Ron gave Flitwick puzzled looks.

          "Er, Severus, I think I found what you're looking for..."

          Snape walked into their direction, his face more furious than before.

          "It's my mistake, my mistake," Flitwick snapped because Snape was already giving Harry and Ron accusing looks, "I gave Ms. Granger some of these chocolates a while ago, just don't tell that to Minerva please, and I didn't notice that this thing was mixed in."

          "So Granger bit it," Snape said. He looked at Harry and Ron and Flitwick, "then I suppose I'll get this back, put it out of anyone's reach," and he strode off.

          "My apologies, Severus," Professor Flitwick called at his back. Snape didn't even look.

          Harry and Ron were sweating. Not that the room was hot, but the fact that that chocolate was from Snape made them tensed.

          "Professor, Hermione would be okay, right?" Ron asked worriedly.

          "Yeah, she'll be in perfect health in a few minutes time."

          "But what is THAT chocolate?!" Harry demanded.

          Professor Flitwick smiled guiltily. "That chocolate, is a love egg."

          "Love egg?!"

          "Er, how should I explain this… Well, it's actually a different form of love potion but has the same effect, and even stronger if done perfectly. Er, the person who ate the love egg will lose her consciousness and when she wakes up she will fall in love with the first person she sees. And the effect will last forever."

          Harry and Ron stood rooted on their spot. Was this some kind of a joke? Maybe Professor Flitwick was just pulling their leg.

          "Are you kidding?!"

          "No I'm not Weasley."

          Ron blushed when he realized that he was talking to a teacher.

          "There should be an antidote of course, or a countercurse" Harry said hopingly.

          "I haven't heard of anything though."

          "Insane...this is..."

          Ron ran out of the staff room in a rush. Harry followed, unsure what his redhead friend might be up to. They entered the Gryffindor common and found Hermione still lying on the sofa.

          "Bring her to her room now, before she wakes up. We can't risk it."

          "Risk what Ron?"

          "Just do it! And lock her up. Don't worry, you'll come back to her after I explained everything."

          Ginny gave Ron a perplexed look but did what she was told. She pointed her wand on Hermione's inert body and mumbled Locomotor Corpus. Harry and Ron sat at the sofa Hermione just vacated. They were both thinking hard. Minutes after Ginny went back.

          "Now what's with that chocolate?"

          Harry and Ron filled her with everything Professor Flitwick had told them. Ginny looked at them, bewildered.

          "You're joking!"

          "No, we're not!" Ron spat angrily.

          "What should we do? We can't lock her up there for a lifetime!"

          They all fell silent. There was no antidote ever invented. And they couldn't lock up Hermione in her room forever just to prevent her from seeing a guy. They tried searching for answers at the back of their minds, but there was none.  Finally, Ginny stood up.

          "I'm going to tell her this first, maybe she had read something that'll help herself." She climbed to the staircase leading to the girl's dormitory. Harry and Ron just sighed. After what seemed like an hour of deep thought Ron stood up.

          "Hey Ron what do you think you're doing?" But Ron ignored Harry and climbed the girl's staircase. She met Ginny along the way.

          "Ron, where are you going?"

          "Hermione."

          "What?!"

          "Just leave it to me."

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