~*After the Beep*~
A fanfic by Setsumi-san
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Quotable quotes: "I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track," –Calvin, Calvin and Hobbes
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Horohoro: That kid has obviously not stopped to think about the aggravation that would cause. I live in an anime where background music plays over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and-
Setsumi-san: WE GET IT ALREADY!
Horo: (sticks out tongue) Boy are you touchy!
Setsumi-san: Here's an author's note: I understand that some of you have wanted Lyserg and/or Yoh's individual machines. I won't do them because rather than do Yoh's, Anna's, Lyserg's, Jeanne's, etc. messages; I put messages for the X-laws and the couple at Funbari Onsen grouped together. This way I kill two birds with one stone. Nevertheless, I digress.
Horo: Hee, hee. That rhymes. =p
Setsumi-san: ... (looks suspiciously at Horo-kun, who has a dopey grin on his face)
Horo: =)
Setsumi-san: Are you still recovering from all of that coffee? I can't tell.
Horo: Nah, I just like spooking you out.
Setsumi-san: *sigh* Anyway, I digress. I hope you love the Lily Five's machine.
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/The Lily Five's Answering Machine/
Sharona's voice: You should feel very lucky! You are one of the few who has managed to get through to some of the most powerful shamans on the planet: Us!
Milly: We are the Lily 5!
Sharona: Grr… Don't call us that!
Milly: I like the name.
Sharona: (irritated) Fine…we are the Lily 5.
Lily: Starring the brainy Lily!
Sally: Featuring the tough Sally…
Elly: With Elly, the girl next door!
Milly: And finally, the ultra-cute Milly!
Sharona: All of them are under the guidance of me, Sharona. Speaking of guidance, if someone answers this phone, please tell us where we can get a decent but cheap place to stay and a hot meal here in Patch Village. We wouldn't be flat broke if SOMEONE hadn't insisted on buying souvenirs at every stop we made.
Lilly: Why did you look at me just then? What?!
Elly: *sigh* Please help…
#BEEP#
Message 1: Silva's voice: Madam, we understand that you and a few other fine young women are looking for some high-quality lodging. Could we interest you in some small, cozy, quiet quarters that have recently been up for grabs? These rooms have gotten the Patch Seal of Approval in cleanliness; so you can sleep well at night knowing that you aren't in some filthy motel. Plus, we have an all you can eat buffet right across the hall! This offer is in high demand, so act quickly! Remember-only 350 Patch dollars a night!
Nichrom: (in the background) Tell me, why would anyone pay that much just to sleep in the bathrooms of your diner?
Silva: Shhh!
Nichrom: (raises voice) He's going to rip you off! The bathrooms aren't even that clean!
Silva: (annoyed) Why don't you go and swoon over that blonde girl who works for Hao again?
Nichrom: What?! I…I don't swoon over anyone!
Silva: Whatever you say…
Nichrom: I don't! (pause) Have you seen her around lately?
(sound of Silva falling over anime style)
#BEEP#
Message 2: Milly, I appreciate your concern for me, but there is no need. I want to stay in the X-laws because Jeanne-sama is the most powerful being on Earth. With her help Hao will be annihilated and justice shall be done. However, if it is of any comfort to you, I would like to let you know that everyone is having a good time with these South American Turkeys you and Ryu left here. We're using them as effigies of Hao. We can pass the time by using them while pretending to torture him. It's very enjoyable.
Jeanne's voice: Pardon me, Lyserg Diethyl, but it seems the effigies have revolted.
Lyserg: Revolted? How, Jeanne-sama?
Jeanne: Marco's turkey got fed up and seems to be leading the rest in an all-out attack against him instead of the other way around. (loud gobbles and screams are heard in the background)
Lyserg: Should we do something?
Jeanne: No. I never have been one for animal cruelty. Let the turkeys wear themselves out.
Lyserg: Ano…very well, Jeanne-sama, your word is law…
#BEEP#
Message 3: Excuse me; I am trying to contact a boy who calls himself Horohoro. My name is Princess Koriand'r, but most know me as Starfire. About a week ago, I met a hyperactive boy in Las Vegas who wanted me to take part in a special Earth ritual. I did not know it was a wedding! Please call the Titans Tower with your information on Horohoro so that we may settle this. Ohh, what will Robin think?!
#BEEP#
Message 4: *Pant, pant* Have I dialed 911? *gag* Help me…I'm dying…from Jun's…horrible cooking! *gurgle* *plop*
Chocolove's voice: Hey Horohoro, do we have anything to keep out howler monk-*gasp* REN! C'MERE! HOROHORO'S UNCONSCIOUS! (sound of Ren dashing in)
Ren: What the-?! What am I supposed to do?
Chocolove: I don't know; give him mouth-to-mouth or something!
Ren: NANI?!?!?! There is NO WAY I am letting my lips come in contact with his!!
Chocolove: You've gotta do something!
Ren: (pause) Do not say a word of this to anyone, Chocolove…
Chocolove: Sure, sure, just kneel down and give him first aid already!
Ren: (grumbles) I'm only saving your life, you snowboarding baka.
Horohoro: Buuuuurrrrrppppp!
Ren: AUUGH! You're not supposed to wake up before I give you mouth-to-mouth!
Horohoro: Oh God…I am never eating anything your sister makes again.
#BEEP#
Message 5: *Kanna*: This is so stupid.
*Macchi*: That's too bad; because it's my idea!
*Kanna*: Why this?
*Macchi*: One: Because that's the girl's name. Two: I'm running out of ideas.
*Kanna*: Okay, okay, but at least let me be the lead singer. After all, I'm the leader of this team.
*Mari*: Mari doesn't want to play the drums! She doesn't even know how to play them.
*Macchi*: Fine! Kanna can sing lead, I'll play the guitar, and Mari will stick with the drums.
*Mari*: Mari just said she doesn't want to!
*Kanna*: I heard that Nichrom is crazy for drummer girls.
*Mari*: (pause) …Okay…maybe this once...
*Kanna*: I can't believe I went from a devotee of Hao-sama to this. One, two, three, go!
*All*: (playing rock instruments) Dun, dun! Dun, dun, dun! Dun, dun-nuh, dun, dun! Dun, dun, dun dun, dun! M-M-M-My Sharona!
*Macchi*: Wait, wait, wait! Start over; Mari came in a few beats late.
*Kanna*: I knew this was a stupid idea. It's not even a funny prank call…
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Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans or the song "My Sharona."
Horohoro: O.O I married an alien princess when I was on caffeine high?
Setsumi-san: ^_^ Yep, and that was tame compared to the rest of the stuff you did.
Horohoro: At least none of the other stuff I did will come back to haunt me.
(Suddenly a tiny lima bean wearing a little crown bounces upon Horohoro's nose.)
Lima Bean King: Silence, you fool! Go forth and build me a mighty palace!
Horo & Set: o__0'''
Setsumi-san: Um, how about taking some reviews instead?
Lima Bean King: It's a deal!