Episode 27: No Excuses, It's Over

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Goten: I stood and waited for Bra to come out. The door knob moved and out she came taking a step or two before noticing me startled, placing her hand on her chest and looking back to the party and started walking to it as I grabbed her arm from behind.

"We need to talk Bra."

"About what?"

"I don't need to tell you the subject you already know it."

"Goten what's left to talk about? You're with who you should be right?" She kept her body toward the party NEVER once turning around to look at me

"She's not who I want to be with."

"I have to go." She started forward till I tightened my grip pulling her back a bit.

"I have to finish explaining the watch to Marron."

Not listening to her demands I pulled her into Marrons room all the way to the other side of the room where the window stood. The city lights and the eluminating shine of the moon was all the light we had in there. I stopped Bra in front of me, but she turned around again. Her back facing me once again.

She chuckled a bit."Why'd you pull me in here Goten, the party's out there. Let's go Trunks might be here in a couple minutes I don't want to miss seeing Marron's face when he does."

She began walking toward the door, again I pulled her arm and forced her to face me. Still she looked down or just anywhere besides my face.

"Trunks isn't the important thing right now."

"Neither are you, it's Marron's birthday and her party is out there."

"No, you're not leaving till we talk about this."

"About what Goten? We've already established middle ground here: I let my feelings get to me, and I was stupid enough not to realize you had just gotten out of a serious relationship and couldn't move onto a new one so easily. Everything's fine. So let's go already."

She stated as if everything seemed fine and she accepted it. She walked toward the door again. Turning the knob and began opening the door till I placed my hand on it shutting it in front of her.

"Goten come on already stop playing around."

"No, Bra YOU stop playing around."

"What?"

"Stop acting like you're ok with everything."

"But I am."

She tried opening the door again. I kept my hand on it and placed the other one on her shoulder and forced her to turn around then with her hand off the knob I locked the door and kept my hand on the knob. My arms surrounded her. Locked to stand before me.

"Stop this Bra, we're not leaving here till I find out what's really going on."

"What do you mean?" She got a confused look on her face like she had no idea what I was talking about.

"Why do you act like you're not hurting when deep down I know you are."

"But I'm not."

"Then explain why you haven't looked straight into my eyes anytime tonight."

"I don't need to look at you for you to know I'm talking to you." She said looking to the side.

"LOOK AT ME. Look at me and tell me you're not hurting."

I placed my finger under her chin and raised it to look at me. She stared for two seconds then peered her eyes to the left as to shut me off.

"Answer me Bra. Why can't you look at me?"

"Does it matter?"

"Why do you act like it DOESN'T matter Bra?"

"Because it doesn't."

"Tell me why it doesn't then. Tell me why through the whole night you've completely ignored me. Tell me why you act so happy when inside you're in pain. Tell me wh...."

"TELL YOU WHAT GOTEN?"Her eyes jumped to mine with anger.

"Tell you all the pain I've been going through the passed couple of days. Tell you that no matter how hard I try to forget, it won't happen. Tell you that I've cried painfully to sleep the passed two nights. Tell you that I've tried to convince myself it didn't matter because I was never yours to begin with. Tell you that my hell has finally arrived on earth! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT ME TO TELL YOU!"

For no reason at all, I pressed my lips deep down on hers. I didn't even know why. Maybe I thought I could erase the pain I caused her with a kiss. My heart ached like it never had before, even during the times Paris and I would fight, I could with stand that, but this... to hear coming from such an angel. I did this. I caused every pain in her heart. I could hear noises from her throat wanting me to stop. The pounding on my chest from her hands. Then I tasted it. The salty wet spot of a tear that fell on our lips. She let out one last forceful push enough to take my lips off hers.

"STOP GOTEN!" Instantly she pushed away from my arm and headed toward the window. Standing in front of it. Her sillouette shown through the evening light with her head down and her arms stiff onto the platform of the window.

"YOU CAN'T JUST KISS ME AND HOPE IT'LL ALL GO AWAY. It doesn't work like that."

I hit the door with the side of my fist. How could I have been so stupid. I began walking toward her and stopping behind her.

"I know. I'm sorry. But I don't know how to take it away Bra. I can't change what I've done. I can't change what you saw. The only thing I'm trying to change is the anger you have toward me. I'm sorry ok."

"Sorry, Sorry doesn't do you justice Goten. It's just a word people use hoping to change someone's feelings when they've done something wrong. Sorry doesn't do anything, it's your actions that prove your words."

"Then tell me. Tell me what I can do to change your anger toward me." I stood by her side facing her as she looked down with her eyes shut and the light shining the trail the tear left on her cheek

"Don't do anything Goten. There's nothing you can do to change my mind."

I turned a bit, leaning with my back against the platform of the window. Placing one of my hands on the platform. I looked down. What was I supposed to do now? How do I prove to her that I AM SORRY. I can't change her mind, that can't be true. I placed my hands in my front pockets when I felt a piece of paper. I pulled it out and noticed it was Bra's note. I opened it and began reading it to her.

" 'Dear Goten, I choke at the thought of you reading this, but I was told by a friend of mine, 'Never pass up the chance to tell someone how you feel, you may be hurt if he rejects, but silence is more heartbreaking.' ' "

She agitatedly took the note from my hands and turned around. Walking two steps in front of her. Her back facing me again. Then I heard her crumbling the paper.

"That's ridiculous. I was blind and stupid when I wrote that. I wrote it so long ago, I don't even remember the stupid things I wrote in it."

" 'The thing is, I'm not sure how to tell you how I feel because, well, it's quite confusing. The passed couple of days you seem to be acting different around me. Maybe it's just that I haven't seen you in so long and wit-' "

"Stop it Goten."

I continued reciting every word in the note. Every word I memorized.

" '...So lastly Goten... if you start acting distant and don't come around again... I'll know why... but Goten...' "

"GOTEN STOP!"

She painfully yelled out turning around to face me. Her eyes glowed filled with tears. Her fist clenching the note hard. She blinked and a tear rolled down. I quickly went to her and wipped it off with my thumb, leaving my hand on her face. She kept her eyes shut while I looked down at her. Then slowly and quietly...

" '...I love you.' "

She opened her tear filled eyes. Her face full of anger. She turned her head and slapped my hand away from her face turning around so I saw her back once again. She lifted her head up,

"This is ridiculous."

She headed toward the door. I didn't know what to do. It seemed like no matter what I did I couldn't make up for what I had done... 'Don't be so naive Goten, the actions speak louder than words... think about everything before this, after you broke up with Paris, the passed week you've spent every waking moment with her it seemed, and everything that happened last night...can you honestly say you didn't have the SLIGHTEST idea that Bra liked you.' How stupid could I have been? To be so blind? Was this really me?

"Bra stop."

She said nothing, just began turning the knob

" 'I love you.' That's what you wrote."

"I lovED you Goten. That's what I THOUGHT at the time. But I realized it was a foolish mistake."

The door began to open, quickly getting there I slammed it shut as I did before. She let out an angry sigh looking down again. I twisted her around and made her look at me

"Can you honestly say that?...Can you honestly tell me it was a mistake and you're not in love with me anymore?"

"Why does it matter anyway. You obviously don't feel the same toward me." I let go of her face knowing it was fine to. She kept her eyes peering at me.

"In the passed two weeks Bra, did you really think I could get over Paris and fall in love again so quickly?"

She looked at me with much more anger and hatred.

"That's why this is ridiculous! I should've known that."

"And why didn't you?"

"OBVIOUSLY it doesn't matter. You wouldn't care either way. You're still in love with Paris, and who am I to complain, she's prettier than me, she's a model, she has her own career and money, she's older than me, SHE HAS EVERYTHING I WANT ESPECIALLY YOU!" Her face was cringed and she shut her eyes and tilted her head down and quietly in a small voice...

"and so... I'm nothing to you."

"Don't put words in my mouth. I never said you didn't matter to me."

"Then WHY did you sleep with her?" She jolted her head up her eyes dead on mine.

"She was my girlfriend for over a ye-"

She pushed me hard to the side and sat on the bed. So angry and in so much pain.

"I don't care Goten."

I walked over to her and kneeled before her hoping she'd look at me. I placed my hands on the sides of her placing my forehead onto hers.

"You didn't even let me finish what I was telling you."

"Like it matters."

"Bra you said that saying you were in love with me was a mistake and you were blind right?"

"..."

"Well the love that I USED to share with Paris blinded the way I feel about you. Sleeping with her was MY mistake."

"Fuck you." She slowly turned her head away

"Bra will you listen to me."

I placed my hand under her jaw, gripping it, I had us both looking at each other.

"In the passed two weeks you've given me so much and I did nothing in return but hurt you. I can't change what happened. In two weeks my feelings have changed for two women. One was me realizing that my love no longer existed for Paris. The other one was a feeling for someone I didn't think could come so quickly. Let alone come at all. Bra...I --"

"Don't say it Goten."

"Say what?"She shut her eyes and I placed my forehead back on hers gently

"What I think you're going to say."

"And that would be?"

"You know what I'm talking about. Don't say it just to make me feel better especially if you don't mean it."

"I'm in love with you Bra."

"No." She stood up as did I. Placing my hands on her shoulders I pushed her down on the bed, laying myself on top of her trying to steady my weight so I wouldn't be so heavy on her.

"Say it Bra."

"Goten. Let go of me!" She stuggled to get out but I kept her pinned to the bed.

"Say it."

"GOTEN!"

"I love you Bra. Say what you need to say to me, I don't care at this point, you can say you love me you can say you hate me, but just TELL ME HOW YOU'RE REALLY FEELING..."

I placed my hand between her breasts onto the rib cage that protected her heart as she placed her hands on my wrist immediately.

"in here."

"I HATE YOU!" she said in a jolting voice continuing to struggle

"YOU'RE LYING! BRA HONESTLY I WANT YOU TO TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL! THE TRUTH!"

"GOTEN I..."

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