THE AUROR
Chapter 6
The Auror finally emerged from her memories, shaking and unsure of where she was for a moment. But when she recovered herself, she discovered that only one thought remained. I need to talk to them.
She rubbed her face in her hands, trying to grasp the roots of that thought. Why? She hadn't wanted to ever see either of them again yesterday, but now she was so desperate to have that conversation with them, the one that she'd been putting off for more than ten years now.
She did know at the back of her mind why this sudden change of mind had occurred, though. It always did when the phoenix had been reborn, and she was more lucid than usual, but not like this. It was the dream. It had been worse than ever, she had almost been able to smell the damp on Severus, the ozone of the curse, and the flesh on the monster's breath. She had been able to see every strand of Dumbledore's long beard, every tooth in the Death Eater's laughing mouth, and the terrified human glint in the monster's eyes.
The Auror glanced at her watch, wondering if she had time, but it informed her that lessons would be starting in an hour or so, and she wanted more time. She had waited so many years that a few more hours wouldn't matter for a bit of peace of mind when speaking.
She finally left her bed, hoping that the staff bathroom would be empty by now, and as she crossed the room her eyes caught sight of the photograph of 'Dumbledore's guards'.
She frowned and picked it up, trying to smooth out the creases. Despite the grimaces, she could see how pure they all looked, no lines, no grey hairs, no shadows under the eyes. Even Remus was looking quite healthy, his arm loosely wrapped around Sephine's waist.
She closed her eyes briefly, trying to remember what that felt like, but it had been too long ago, and she had tried so hard to forget memories from that time that a once warm touch was now distant and cool.
The Auror sighed, pulling up her hood and preparing for a long, long day...
* * *
The Auror found it to be an even longer day than she had expected; Filch insisting that he needed no help guarding the castle today, as the upper school was mostly out at Hogsmeade.
So she resorted to sitting in her room, reading the collection of Muggle books she carried with her. At about two in the afternoon a thought struck her, I wonder if Remus is teaching lessons right now? But she stopped herself from leaving, taking it as a challenge to make herself wait until the end of the school day.
* * *
At 4:00 sharp, she left her room, suddenly not so sure in the wide expanse of the corridor as to what she would say to him.
She kept herself going all the way to Lupin's door, and managed to raise her hand and knock. Then a thought struck her. Lessons are only just over. He'll be on his way here now! She swore and headed back to her own cosy, dark room at a quick march.
The Auror had barely got fifteen meters when a tired, but slightly amused voice called, "Playing pranks on teachers still, Miss Winters?"
She froze to the spot, cursing herself mentally, and searching for a suitably light reply.
"Oh, I never gave it up."
Eventually she made herself turn and face him. He was standing just outside his doorway, smiling gently and watching her closely. He looked so similar and yet so different to the boy in the picture - not just the silver roots to his parted fringe, nor the faint lines at his eyes, lending him distinctiveness rather than extra years - but the understanding that seemed to radiate from him, combined with a calmness that engulfed her.
"R - R -" Say it. Go on, say it. "Remus. I need to talk. To you."
"I know, Severus told me. Come in." He gestured to his office, stepping aside as she made her way towards the open door.
She stopped before entering, though, and stared at his face, wanting desperately to reach out and brush his hair from his eyes, or to stroke his cheek, like she had used to be able to. But instead, she nodded once to him, and went inside, clutching her robes to herself.
Unsure of how to begin, the Auror looked around the room, her eyes drinking in all that she saw, gazing at the tank of pixies in wonder.
"So." He said softly, closing the door quietly. "What is it that you need to talk about, exactly?"
"What did Madam Pomfrey tell you?" It was the only way she could think of to start the conversation and it came out in a rush.
He seemed confused by the question. "What?"
"What did she tell you? About me. Where I had gone."
He frowned, and sat down opposite her at his desk, leaning forwards slightly. She looked down, still standing, wanting an answer and yet not wanting one.
"She just said you'd left the day before. Without saying anything, you just went...no, wait. She said you insisted that you - 'you needed to get away from me'." He swallowed, concentrating on his hands, which were interlaced on the wood in front of him.
"No." She whispered, sitting down too. "No, Remus I didn't say that. I thought - I thought you'd been killed...and-and I didn't want to stay here with unhappy memories. I said I needed to get away from here. Not you."
He looked up, hurt was still plain in his eyes, and comprehension hadn't dawned yet. He shook his head, "How could you think I'd been killed? I was in the same hospital as you..."
"I didn't know. The covers were pulled on all the beds in mourning for Charlie. How was I to know that you were behind one set of covers? I was delirious, Remus! I was suffering from blood-loss and... And heartache, and God knows what else! Did Madam Pomfrey tell you that I tried to kill myself the night before I left? Because I couldn't stand being left on my own!"
He studied her, but then reached a hand out tentatively. His fingers brushed her hood back lightly, letting themselves trail through her hair as they went. "It seems neither of us know the entire story here." He allowed the tips of his fingers to rest slightly under her chin. "Maybe we should both start from the beginning...?"
The Auror smiled and nodded slowly, taking a deep breath before recounting that night and those after it, as she remembered them.
~~~
She burst out of the Forest, stumbling through the dense bracken. She could see a commotion on the other side of the lake and hobbled towards it.
The Merpeople were disgusted and offended at having a human corpse sent to join them, and had brought up the body of Charles Cookson, dumping it unceremoniously on the bank. Dumbledore was speaking with them, apparently trying to explain what had happened and to apologise to them for the disturbance.
"Sephine!" Snape turned to her. "I didn't - did you? Get him?"
She hardly heard him, though. She was transfixed at the sight of one of her best friends lying lifeless and blue in the mud, when only an hour ago he had been joking about the implications of having a watch with Severus Snape.
"Oh God..." She whispered, unable to tear her gaze away. Ultimately, Sephine felt a pair of warm hands turn her head from the scene forcibly. Prematurely callused thumbs stroked the tears from her cheeks, and his quivering voice sounded as bad as she felt, when he murmured, "No, Sephy, don't look, don't stare at him."
She pressed her lips together, not wanting to cry, but she saw Remus' tears, and James', and Lily's, and everyone else's, so she flung her arms around him, sobbing freely onto his strong shoulder.
"Okay, I think that's been enough excitement for one night. I want you all to go back up to the castle, with no detours or hesitations, and tell Madam Pomfrey of the situation before sending her out to assist me. Then you can all go to the Great Hall where there will be cups of cocoa from the house elves. Wait for me there."
No one had the energy or the will to refuse, and they all walked in a dejected huddle back to the front door.
As they approached it, an unusual shadow brought them to a halt still a few meters away. "Oh no!" Sephine whispered. "The Death Eater! He said something about another at the door...!"
The shadow moved again, whatever it was turning to face the frightened nineteen-year-olds. "Expelliarmus!"
Before any of them could move to prevent it, their wands were plucked from hands, pockets and robes, meeting together in the hands of the Death Eater.
"Ha, ha! Hello again, children!" The voice croaked. Underneath, whoever it was didn't sound much older than any of them.
The group exchanged confused glances. "Again?" James asked.
"Don't you remember me? I was one of Sevvie's best friends. Don't you remember me, Sevvie?"
Snape stared into the impenetrable shadows cast by the Death Eater's hood. "...Trurn?"
"He remembers me! Hallelujah, he remembers me!" Trurn Mahbism clapped his hands in sarcasm, "Don't any of you remember me? I was the subject of a number of your cruel little pranks, and now I am going to have my revenge...but first maybe I should remind myself of who you lot are? Other than the piles of ash that you will be in a few moments." He pointed his wand at each person in turn as he described him or her in the manner of a Death Eater.
"Peter Pettigrew...hopeless at everything except Herbology, that most pathetic of subjects. Loves tagging along with so-called 'Marauders' for a bit of the fame, fortune and action.
"Severus Snape, my ex-best friend. Ha! I can't believe you were my idol! You couldn't even remain loyal to those similar to you, and look where you've ended up. Performing useless charms to help a doddering old fool feel better about himself. You could have been great, Sev. But you decided not to be. So you're not." The sneer was obvious even with his hood up.
"Lily Evans. Well, well...either you've put on a bit of weight or Mr. Potter here has been busy!" The Death Eater cackled. "Always had your nose in a book, especially good at Charms, eh? Charming lady, really." He cackled again.
"Jamesie Potter, how is the leader of the Marauders doing, then? Well, it appears. Cleaned up your act then? Instead of hexing Hogwarts behind Dumbledore's back you're now doing it for him! How amusing.
"Si...Si...how is Hogwarts' most eligible bachelor getting along now? Looks about the same as before...Hmm. Honestly can't see why the ladies were attracted to you, but then maybe I'm just jealous. And anyway, you don't seem to have one with you right now..." Trurn mock-punched Sirius on the shoulder, a sly and wicked grin on the lit lower part of his square chin.
"Well hello, my dear! Sephine! I haven't seen you for a year!"
"Go screw your broomstick, Trurn." She sneered back at him.
"Ah, yes, yes. Haven't changed a bit, have you? And I'm sure that you don't know much more than you did then, either..." He turned to include Remus in his manic speech. "Remus...!" he called. "I know what you are! Sevvie told me! I know all about you! And yet, I sense...dear Sephine doesn't..."
Sephine frowned, wondering what the moron was getting at, and turned to tell Remus that she knew how full of rubbish Trurn was. But Remus had gone very pale, and was shaking his head slowly, a pained expression overcoming his face. "No...oh no, Trurn, don't, please...!"
Nevertheless, Trurn raised his wand, cackling at Remus' reaction. Sephine moved to Remus, holding onto each of his shoulders. "What? Remus, what is he talking about? Oh, God, no. Wait. Okay. I'll start again. I don't care what he's on about. I love you as you are and I don't care if you're an illegal Animagus or-or anything, I promise!"
"Sephine, no!" Sirius shouted, moving towards them, too, but he was too late. Still giggling, Trurn had his wand aimed at the side of Remus that he could see. "Exposier!"
Although the sky had been clear, a projection of clouds now appeared above Remus and Sephine, parting with a swift wind that tugged at their robes, billowing them out in floating patterns. A full moon peeked from between the dark clouds, and bright light, brilliant, beautiful blue-white light was revealed, pouring over them. Remus had his eyes scrunched shut, and was trying to back out of Sephine's grip, whispering all the time, "It's not real, it's not real..." to himself.
She, however, stood transfixed, her fingers locked into the material of his robes as she stared up at the moon. Trurn's laughter made her look at Remus again, though, and the feeling that she was no longer holding fabric brought her back to where she was.
His body had been almost entirely engulfed by a coarse brown coat of fur, and as she watched, it spread up his neck to his face, which was contorted with pain, as though he was trying desperately not to scream. His face began to lengthen, and she could feel the shape of his muscles changing beneath her hold. It was too late to get away, she could see that now, but still she pulled back, unlocking her cramped fingers from the long, thick hairs.
As Sephine released her grasp, though, the wolf gained his, inch-long claws digging their way through her sleeves and into her arms. It opened its jaws, hungry as always for flesh.
Sephine raised her forearm, painfully tearing the skin further where its claws were, and hitting the monster square on the chin. It howled and pushed forwards again, toppling her off her feet. Heavy as the wolf was having fallen on top of her, Sephine tried to concentrate on fending off the huge teeth without being bitten, but she was growing increasingly tired, the immense strength of it overcoming her easily.
Its teeth were seconds from her throat when its nose shortened again - quicker than it had lengthened - and the fur shrank to a set of Hogwarts robes once more. Remus fell with a sob onto her.
The fall must have dazed her slightly, because Sephine wasn't entirely sure of anything at that point. Trurn was laughing, but she wasn't sure why, or even who Trurn was. Remus was crying, but she wasn't sure why, or even why she couldn't feel blood on her arms.
Finally she forced her eyes open though, and saw the crescent moon smiling down at her with a lopsided sort of grin. She sighed, and stroked Remus' hair gently, gazing around in wonder. The next thing that caught her eye, however, was Trurn, his wand raised once more, and this time pointed at Lily and James' unborn child.
She pushed at the sobbing and profusely apologetic Remus, trying to get out from beneath his dead weight. Eventually, she wondered at this, and studied him. All the wolf's old wounds seemed to have been opened up once more by Trurn's revealing spell, and colour was draining rapidly from Remus' face.
"Oh no...oh no." She said miserably, holding his face in front of hers and endeavouring to wipe some tears from his cheeks, but only succeeding in smearing blood from her fingers onto him. "Why aren't Sirius or Peter or Severus doing something?" she asked aloud, craning her head off the moist ground to glance around the area. Peter was cowering behind a pillar, and she could now hear Snape and Dumbledore's shouted and urgent conversation down by the Lake. Sirius was nowhere to be seen, but James was watching the door closely as he held onto Lily firmly, trying to protect his unborn. Trurn looked as though he had completely lost whatever sanity he may have had, and was ranting and raving about something irrelevant, his wand waving around, taunting the pair in front of him.
"Remus, move..." She murmured, trying to free herself once again, but more urgently this time. "Let me go, Remus!" He looked at her in bewilderment, but her attention was still on the group standing several meters away from them. His head turned slowly, following her gaze. She wriggled out from him, struggling to her feet unsteadily. She had been just about to approach Trurn, when she felt a tug on her cloak hem.
"No, Sephine! I'm sorry I didn't tell you, don't leave me, please...I couldn't bear it. I couldn't..."
She shrugged her cloak off, letting it fall into his hands. "Don't be silly, I'm not leaving you. I have to stop him. I must stop him..."
Trurn seemed to be getting bored of talking to himself, and was gesturing more confidently with his handful of wands.
Sephine studied him carefully, creeping up from the side. "Accio wands!" Almost all the wands left his hand, his own remaining there, his fingers locked tightly around it. Her wand, seven and a half inches, willow, phoenix feather, shot to her palm, all the others scattering across the ground between her and Trurn.
He spun to face her, his hood now down, and a look of total shock registering on his face. He hissed, not even bothering with words, just pointing his wand and visualising what he wanted to happen. A burst of deadly white light sprang forth from his wand, straight for Sephine, who, without thinking, did the same, and imagined what she wanted as she brandished her own wand in defence. The light parted about a foot from her wand, spreading up into the navy blue sky. Trurn shouted in frustration, grinding his teeth and shifting his wand slightly.
That did it. Her concentration had been on one point, not expecting the point to change, and now incandescent white light burst like an inferno past her shield, seeming to just travel through the warding hand that she raised.
The phoenix was released by her pain, and screamed its song of suffering to Trurn before erupting in a blaze of fire, engulfing the Death Eater
The orange light faded, and a pile of ashes remained, scattered across the grass. A very tiny and badly burnt chick emerged from them, its eyes gummed up with soot. It transformed by default back to human form, its weakness as a phoenix wanting protection from the woman who embodied it. Sephine, however, did not appear to be much better off than the phoenix.
Remus battled to his feet, trembling from blood loss, and clutching at his stomach. He made his way slowly to Sephine, as did James and Lily. When he reached her prone form he let his knees give way, and held her to him, crying into her blackened sweater.
She gave a small cough, then appeared far more still than before. The three that remained held their breath, hoping for some kind of response more from her.
Just as Remus began to give up all hope, the massive main doors of Hogwarts swung open to reveal Sirius and Madam Pomfrey. Peter came shivering out from his hiding place, unable to wrench his gaze from Sephine, and Dumbledore and Severus appeared over the slight hill from the Lake.
Madam Pomfrey wasted no time, conjuring three stretchers and administering a potion of some sort to Sephine. Charlie's stretcher included a sheet to cover him from morbidly curious gawking, and made its own way ahead of the silent procession, travelling alone to some quiet pre- programmed destination.
* * *
She'd never fully appreciated the advantages of being able to sleep before. But now, now she could only lie there, staring at the ceiling that she could see between the engulfing curtains that were wrapped around her bed. God it was boring. How many times she counted the stone blocks she didn't know, and that flowered pattern on the screens was becoming more depressing by the hour.
She wasn't quite sure why she was still there. She felt fine, and the only evidence of last night that she could see was a puckered scar on the back of her right hand. She could remember other things, but she drove them away, not wanting to remember. That was why she couldn't sleep. They'd catch up with her if she did, and they'd confront her and haunt her forever.
So she finally left her bed after sundown, having heard voices outside earlier, but not being visited by the owners of any of them. All the screens were up on every bed. She looked at it in disgust, the sea of printed flowers and repeated patterns getting on her nerves. She padded down the aisle, everything silent until an undignified rumble from her stomach made itself known.
She grunted to herself in acceptance of this request and made for the kitchen.
"Ooh, Sephine!" Seventh year Trina Khan was waiting for Sha-Rukh Partil outside a room as she passed, still in hospital robes. "Are you feeling better? Your friends want to see you - I don't know if you heard...?" Heather nodded at her blank stare. "Of course, sorry, not much comes in or goes out of the hospital at the moment. It's just...they're wondering if you saw Remus Lupin in there? Madam Pomfrey won't answer any questions about him, and no-one's seen or heard anything about him at all..."
She frowned. "How long have I been in there?"
"Oh, only since last night."
She scoffed, "right, so you think there's going to be that much gossip circulating already? Gimme a break, Trin."
"Well do you know anything about Remus?" She asked her departing form desperately.
"No, I don't, but I'm sure he's recovering quite nicely under Madam Pomfrey's caring influence."
"Sephine!" She whined, stamping an impatient foot. "James said that he didn't look so good when he went in. He said Madam Pomfrey was really worried," this she added much more quietly, studying the other girl's reaction.
"He'll be fine," her voice quivered slightly as she headed on down the corridor.
* * *
When she got back to the hospital, Sephine was feeling much better, peeling chunks out of an apple as she walked, and Trina's doubt far from her mind. Or it was until she saw that all the screens were still drawn. Swallowing the last piece of apple, she set the knife and core down on her bedside table, behind the screen.
After a thorough examination of all the beds in the room, and finding all of them empty, she was beginning to worry again. The door slammed and she spun around at the sound of Madam Pomfrey's voice. "Sephine Winters! What on earth are you doing out of bed--"
"Where's Remus?" her voice was full of urgency as she advanced on the healer. "Where is he?"
"Sephine, calm down. You need more rest, Remus is...he's fine." Pomfrey tried to steer her towards her bed again, but she fought out of her grip.
"WHERE IS HE?" She screamed, knowing how hysterical she sounded, but not believing that she was actually that wrought-up.
"He's gone--"
"What?!"
"--to--"
"Don't say it..."
"Sephine, lie down. You need to relax."
"No! Where is he?!" she sat down on the edge of the bed, shaking with fear and rage. Why can't she just answer my question?
"Sephine, sleep. You need sleep. Just rest now, you'll get answers when you are fully recovered."
She looked up at Madam Pomfrey in horror and pleading, just wanting a straight answer, not to be left confused like this. "Okay." she whispered, curling up in the covers, her eyes refusing to close.
* * *
The first thing that her eyes fell upon when she woke was the knife still on her table. The last thing her eyes had seen when she had been asleep had been Remus' apparently lifeless form in the grass as she fell. Her groggy brain made an assumption, and her newly scarred hand reached out to the knife.
* * *
She looked up from her half-packed bag as the door to the dorm creaked open apparently of its own accord. Lily took the Invisibility Cloak off and smiled sadly at the sight of her packing.
"Hello, Sephy. I just wanted to thank you on behalf of James and I...and our child. That was a truly incredible thing that you did for us. I- I don't know how to repay you..."
She shook her head and even managed a small smile. "Don't. I was delirious anyway. And if I hadn't James would surely have got you out with less mess and trouble. I could tell you had a plan."
Now Lily's smile turned rueful. "Yes. Trurn was just focusing on James and I, and seemed to forget the existence of the others. Peter fled, but Sirius had this," she held up the Cloak. "He and Snape managed to sneak off, and when Trurn realised that they had gone, he merely laughed yet again and returned his attention to us."
Sephine snorted in amusement. "That Death Eater was seriously under- done in the head."
Lily sighed and changed the subject."You know; you gave us quite a scare for a few hours. Madam Pomfrey wouldn't say anything about where you were or how you were."
She felt her lip twitch in irritation. "Yes. She does seem to have gone quite quiet recently, doesn't she? Have you heard anything about Remus?"
"No, sorry." Lily whispered. "It seems that they're thinking up an excuse still for his injuries. They don't want to tell the whole school of...well..." Lily looked at her hands and frowned, avoiding her gaze.
"I wish he'd told me."
"He was going to--"
"But now he'll never have the chance. And I won't hear it. I want to forget everything that happened here. From now on, I'm just another normal student who only spent seven years at school. I wasn't one of Dumbledore's little helpers, and I have had nothing to do with illegal Animagi - oh, yes, I know that one - or werewolves, or Death Eaters or anything of the kind. I've never performed an Unforgivable Curse, and I've never seen a dead friend before. I've never met any of you. Maybe I'll just become a Muggle!" She laughed and fixed her small trunk to the back of her broomstick.
"What shall I tell him, Sephine?" Lily's voice was hoarse and her eyes were watering. "What do I tell him? That you couldn't face staying because of what he was? That will break more than his heart. That you left because he didn't tell you before? Because he lied out of fear of losing you? I can't believe that you would be that cruel."
She hesitated on the windowsill before pushing off. "You never had this conversation with me. I've just disappeared." And with that she flew away from Hogwarts and, hopefully, her memories. ~~~
She looked up from the table where her gaze had been fixed during the re-telling of her conversation with Lily. Remus appeared to be looking through her. His expression was one of hurt and confusion. She searched guiltily for some glint of forgiveness.
"So you were lying, even when you came here. When you said that you believed I was dead." He spoke with such finality that she leapt from her chair, sending it tumbling backwards.
"No! I did believe that, just for a moment. But...but I knew you weren't when I left," she admitted.
He still didn't look at her, but nodded to himself before changing the subject. "You know that what you did wasn't actually worth it?"
"W-what?" She leaned on the table, making her way partly around to his side of it.
"Lily's parents threatened to disown her. Said she was too young. She and James got rid of the first child before it was born. Harry was their only child, and he certainly wasn't born when she was still only twenty." Still he refused to look up.
She groaned, and sank to the floor by his chair. "Oh, my life is pointless."
Finally Remus turned to her, and pinned her with an accusing grey stare. "Did you leave because of what I am? Do I disgust you? Do you see me as a monster? Sephine, answer me."
She winced at the harsh tone he used, and now it was her who would not look at him. "No, no! No. You're not a monster. You don't disgust me. I left because I'd lost my mind temporarily. I didn't think." She laughed ruefully and quietly. It sounded pathetic to her own ears."Maybe it was something in Trurn's curse!" Eventually she gazed up at him again, and took hold of his hands. "Remus...I did love you, I swear. I do love you. Whatever, whoever you are. Please, please forgive me. I'm so sorry."
His expression did not change as she looked imploringly up at him, and she couldn't face it, closing her eyes and bowing her head, her tears now falling freely. But then a firm but gentle pair of hands lifted her to his arms, and he whispered, "Hush, it's okay, Sephine. I'll forgive you if you'll forgive me."
She brushed the hair from her eyes, and smiled the first truly happy smile that she had done in years. "Oh, of course I forgive you, Remus!" And Sephine finally felt that she could face her memories again.
* * *
The students who were down to breakfast late that Saturday looked up in surprise to see Professor Lupin and a strange woman enter the Great Hall, laughing conspiratorially about something or other.
Albus Dumbledore smiled in satisfaction as he raised his glass of pumpkin juice to them.
Severus Snape watched them with caution, and wondered if they had teamed up to blame him for that night's occurrences.
And the black dog at the Gryffindor table wagged its tail in contentment.
* * *
"You know we have to speak to Severus, too." Remus looked at her over the phoenix feather quill he was marking homework with.
Sephine swung her legs behind her as she lay on her stomach reading. "Hmm. Yes, I know. But I'm not particularly looking forwards to it."
"Don't like admitting you were wrong, oh great one?" he gave her a crooked grin as he dipped the quill in a pot of crimson ink.
She smiled and felt herself blush as she hastily switched her attention back to her book. It was a Muggle story, called The Hobbit, and it gave her great amusement to read the Muggle's ideas of elves and trolls and the like.
Remus was just about to turn back to the encouraging comment he was marking on Neville Longbottom's essay when there was a sharp knock on the door. "Lupin! I know you're harbouring that cowardly Auror! Send her out here alone! I shan't have the two of you convince me that I was in the wrong!"
Sephine smiled ruefully. "No peace for the wicked, eh?"
Remus, however, put his quill down carefully and gave her a searching look. "Are you sure you're ready to talk to him?"
She closed the book with finality. "Yes I'm ready - I think." I hope. "Don't mollycoddle me, Lupin."
He grinned and made for the door. "Okay, Severus. Come and take your best shots, we've got the answers you want..."
Snape's angry frame filled the doorway. "I don't think so. She has the answers I want."
Sephine sighed and stood up, moving to Remus' side. "Severus, you'll get extra points of view this way, honest, and you can put all stories together and try to figure out which parts you want to believe and which you don't when we're done. Just for once let's agree to talk this through completely, with all the surviving members of that group...barring Peter."
The black dog that had appeared out of the adjoining room wagged its tail and barked in agreement, and even seemed to give Snape an all-knowing sneer.
Seeing that this was the only option there was, Severus stepped into the room, his expression showing great distaste of the situation.
* * *
"So where were Winters and Lupin? Where was Madam Pomfrey hiding them?" Severus asked the one question that hadn't been answered yet by their conference.
Remus glanced at Sephine, and she nodded, taking out the crumpled piece of paper from her pocket and smoothing it out on the table. It was obviously a map of some kind, with many scrawls in different inks and handwritings covering it. Passages and doors had been scribbled out and re- drawn, spells and incantations had been listed down the sides, and seven signatures in separate inks dominated the top of it. "This is our original copy of the Marauder's Map--"
"The what?" Snape was immediately suspicious.
"Ah..." Sirius looked at Sephine, who in turn looked at Remus.
"Oh, nothing. It's just this silly map that we made when we were at school. Filch has the other one now, don't worry."
Snape's eyes narrowed and his mouth twisted into a grimace as he muttered, "Potter..."
The other three ignored this, and Sephine continued, unfolding the Map and pointing to an obscure room to the West of Dumbledore's Tower. "This is where the Headmaster keeps his phoenix, Fawkes. It's also just above a lay line, and contains a lot of strong healing powers. We were taken there to recover as best as possible."
"Well why didn't you tell all your little friends?" Snape sneered.
Remus sighed. "We were taken there in secret - as in not even we knew where we were...until at least a week afterwards when we were supposedly sworn to secrecy...or I was at least. Sephine just never found out until yesterday where she had been, or where I had been."
Severus looked at them all thoughtfully for a moment, and then nodded and stood up slowly. "All right. I'm sorry about the animosity I've shown to you all. You've explained everything very clearly and let me interpret it all for myself - I am grateful for that. But don't go expecting any favours. Black is still no friend of mine, and I'm nevertheless sure that you, Lupin, had something to do with that joke of his. Sephine, I don't feel so insulted now, but I don't forget easily." He regarded them all once more before leaving. "Just thank me for this much."
As the door closed, the three that were left exchanged amused glances and burst into relieved laughter.
"Thank him?" Sirius snorted. "Ha, ha! The pompous git!"
Sephine raised an eyebrow with a wicked grin, "Well, he did apologise to us."
* * *
With her head buried in Remus' shoulder and the lights and sounds of the Yule Ball all around them, Sephine felt that she could live in that moment forever. She sighed when the song ended, and opened her eyes, gazing across the room. A bad mood in black caught her attention as her stare roved across the happy people gathered. Severus was sitting alone, his eggnog untouched.
With another sigh, she disentangled herself from Remus' warm hold, smiling crookedly and whispering, "I think I need to go and cheer someone up..."
His puzzled expression turned to a smile much like her own when he saw whom she meant, and he nodded. "Good luck, have fun."
She tossed a toothy grin and a wink over her shoulder. "As always..."
Severus was glaring at the goblet that sat next to him, wishing he could make himself lift it enough times to forget his troubles at least temporarily, when something tapped his head.
He looked up in anger, ready to shout an accusation, when he found that his glare focused upon a pair of bright blue puppy-dog eyes. "Sevvie, I know you said all was forgiven not forgotten, but I've been simply dying to dance with you all evening. Please, come and give me at least one of those famous Slytherin grooves..."
He had been about to comment on the lack of amusement in her practical joke, when she grabbed each of his wrists, and showing surprising strength, hauled him to his feet.
"Come on, this is one of my favourites!" Sephine pulled him to the dance-floor, not letting go for an instant, lest he escape back to his depression-filled corner.
"Sephine, this isn't funny." he growled.
"It's not supposed to be. I just wanted a dance."
"Don't lie, I can see Lupin and Black laughing over there."
Sephine craned her neck to see Remus and the black dog, and made a noise of irritation. "Honestly. I can't trust either of them! But I can trust you, Severus Snape, to cheer up a little and act in an adult way towards those immature little boys, can't I?"
"What? Sephine...what do you mean?"
"I mean stop sulking and live a little! You have no idea how boring it was trying to forget everything before starting anew...I'm surprised I didn't end up in a mental institute with the confusion of it all. Just forgive and forget. But don't forget everything. Remember this." She pressed the wizard photo of Dumbledore's guards into his hand and gently kissed him on the cheek, drawing some colour from his usually pallid face. "I missed you, Sevvie."
Sephine gave him one last sincere smile, then melted into the crowds, some of which stared in astonishment at her and, or Severus.
* * *
"You gave him my photo?!" Sirius yelped and gave her a hurt look.
"Oh for goodness sake, Padfoot, you have about five copies of that thing!" Remus laughed.
Sephine gave him a mock-reproachful look, "Five? Why on earth do you have that many?"
"I--"
"So he can slip them under the doors of unsuspecting Aurors, now go on! Dumbledore's waiting!" He shooed her into the corridor, catching her and giving her a kiss before sending her on giggling and saying, "All right, all right, I'm going!"
Dumbledore was smiling and holding a piece of new-looking parchment when she entered his office. A Ministry owl sat on his desk, its orange eyes fixed in shock on Fawkes, who appeared to be attempting a conversation with it.
"Good news, Sephine - they have agreed. You are no longer in service of the Ministry of Magic. You are an honorary member of the Hogwarts staff for as long as you choose."
She laughed, and at that moment could have flung her arms around the old man. "Oh thank you, thank you, Headmaster! This means so much to me, I-- "
He held a hand up gently to silence her. "No. Thank you, Sephine. You have dealt magnificently with your memories, and have become the wonderful person you should have been, had that fateful night not occurred. And you seem to have softened that ugly exterior of Severus Snape. Soon, no doubt, we shall have the true Potions Master revealed...but one challenge at a time, eh? Now here. Take this parchment and treasure it, for it is essentially your passport to a slightly more normal life...if there is such a thing."
Sephine took it and grinned. "I'm hoping I won't make such a mess of my second shot at it."
* * *
Chapter 6
The Auror finally emerged from her memories, shaking and unsure of where she was for a moment. But when she recovered herself, she discovered that only one thought remained. I need to talk to them.
She rubbed her face in her hands, trying to grasp the roots of that thought. Why? She hadn't wanted to ever see either of them again yesterday, but now she was so desperate to have that conversation with them, the one that she'd been putting off for more than ten years now.
She did know at the back of her mind why this sudden change of mind had occurred, though. It always did when the phoenix had been reborn, and she was more lucid than usual, but not like this. It was the dream. It had been worse than ever, she had almost been able to smell the damp on Severus, the ozone of the curse, and the flesh on the monster's breath. She had been able to see every strand of Dumbledore's long beard, every tooth in the Death Eater's laughing mouth, and the terrified human glint in the monster's eyes.
The Auror glanced at her watch, wondering if she had time, but it informed her that lessons would be starting in an hour or so, and she wanted more time. She had waited so many years that a few more hours wouldn't matter for a bit of peace of mind when speaking.
She finally left her bed, hoping that the staff bathroom would be empty by now, and as she crossed the room her eyes caught sight of the photograph of 'Dumbledore's guards'.
She frowned and picked it up, trying to smooth out the creases. Despite the grimaces, she could see how pure they all looked, no lines, no grey hairs, no shadows under the eyes. Even Remus was looking quite healthy, his arm loosely wrapped around Sephine's waist.
She closed her eyes briefly, trying to remember what that felt like, but it had been too long ago, and she had tried so hard to forget memories from that time that a once warm touch was now distant and cool.
The Auror sighed, pulling up her hood and preparing for a long, long day...
* * *
The Auror found it to be an even longer day than she had expected; Filch insisting that he needed no help guarding the castle today, as the upper school was mostly out at Hogsmeade.
So she resorted to sitting in her room, reading the collection of Muggle books she carried with her. At about two in the afternoon a thought struck her, I wonder if Remus is teaching lessons right now? But she stopped herself from leaving, taking it as a challenge to make herself wait until the end of the school day.
* * *
At 4:00 sharp, she left her room, suddenly not so sure in the wide expanse of the corridor as to what she would say to him.
She kept herself going all the way to Lupin's door, and managed to raise her hand and knock. Then a thought struck her. Lessons are only just over. He'll be on his way here now! She swore and headed back to her own cosy, dark room at a quick march.
The Auror had barely got fifteen meters when a tired, but slightly amused voice called, "Playing pranks on teachers still, Miss Winters?"
She froze to the spot, cursing herself mentally, and searching for a suitably light reply.
"Oh, I never gave it up."
Eventually she made herself turn and face him. He was standing just outside his doorway, smiling gently and watching her closely. He looked so similar and yet so different to the boy in the picture - not just the silver roots to his parted fringe, nor the faint lines at his eyes, lending him distinctiveness rather than extra years - but the understanding that seemed to radiate from him, combined with a calmness that engulfed her.
"R - R -" Say it. Go on, say it. "Remus. I need to talk. To you."
"I know, Severus told me. Come in." He gestured to his office, stepping aside as she made her way towards the open door.
She stopped before entering, though, and stared at his face, wanting desperately to reach out and brush his hair from his eyes, or to stroke his cheek, like she had used to be able to. But instead, she nodded once to him, and went inside, clutching her robes to herself.
Unsure of how to begin, the Auror looked around the room, her eyes drinking in all that she saw, gazing at the tank of pixies in wonder.
"So." He said softly, closing the door quietly. "What is it that you need to talk about, exactly?"
"What did Madam Pomfrey tell you?" It was the only way she could think of to start the conversation and it came out in a rush.
He seemed confused by the question. "What?"
"What did she tell you? About me. Where I had gone."
He frowned, and sat down opposite her at his desk, leaning forwards slightly. She looked down, still standing, wanting an answer and yet not wanting one.
"She just said you'd left the day before. Without saying anything, you just went...no, wait. She said you insisted that you - 'you needed to get away from me'." He swallowed, concentrating on his hands, which were interlaced on the wood in front of him.
"No." She whispered, sitting down too. "No, Remus I didn't say that. I thought - I thought you'd been killed...and-and I didn't want to stay here with unhappy memories. I said I needed to get away from here. Not you."
He looked up, hurt was still plain in his eyes, and comprehension hadn't dawned yet. He shook his head, "How could you think I'd been killed? I was in the same hospital as you..."
"I didn't know. The covers were pulled on all the beds in mourning for Charlie. How was I to know that you were behind one set of covers? I was delirious, Remus! I was suffering from blood-loss and... And heartache, and God knows what else! Did Madam Pomfrey tell you that I tried to kill myself the night before I left? Because I couldn't stand being left on my own!"
He studied her, but then reached a hand out tentatively. His fingers brushed her hood back lightly, letting themselves trail through her hair as they went. "It seems neither of us know the entire story here." He allowed the tips of his fingers to rest slightly under her chin. "Maybe we should both start from the beginning...?"
The Auror smiled and nodded slowly, taking a deep breath before recounting that night and those after it, as she remembered them.
~~~
She burst out of the Forest, stumbling through the dense bracken. She could see a commotion on the other side of the lake and hobbled towards it.
The Merpeople were disgusted and offended at having a human corpse sent to join them, and had brought up the body of Charles Cookson, dumping it unceremoniously on the bank. Dumbledore was speaking with them, apparently trying to explain what had happened and to apologise to them for the disturbance.
"Sephine!" Snape turned to her. "I didn't - did you? Get him?"
She hardly heard him, though. She was transfixed at the sight of one of her best friends lying lifeless and blue in the mud, when only an hour ago he had been joking about the implications of having a watch with Severus Snape.
"Oh God..." She whispered, unable to tear her gaze away. Ultimately, Sephine felt a pair of warm hands turn her head from the scene forcibly. Prematurely callused thumbs stroked the tears from her cheeks, and his quivering voice sounded as bad as she felt, when he murmured, "No, Sephy, don't look, don't stare at him."
She pressed her lips together, not wanting to cry, but she saw Remus' tears, and James', and Lily's, and everyone else's, so she flung her arms around him, sobbing freely onto his strong shoulder.
"Okay, I think that's been enough excitement for one night. I want you all to go back up to the castle, with no detours or hesitations, and tell Madam Pomfrey of the situation before sending her out to assist me. Then you can all go to the Great Hall where there will be cups of cocoa from the house elves. Wait for me there."
No one had the energy or the will to refuse, and they all walked in a dejected huddle back to the front door.
As they approached it, an unusual shadow brought them to a halt still a few meters away. "Oh no!" Sephine whispered. "The Death Eater! He said something about another at the door...!"
The shadow moved again, whatever it was turning to face the frightened nineteen-year-olds. "Expelliarmus!"
Before any of them could move to prevent it, their wands were plucked from hands, pockets and robes, meeting together in the hands of the Death Eater.
"Ha, ha! Hello again, children!" The voice croaked. Underneath, whoever it was didn't sound much older than any of them.
The group exchanged confused glances. "Again?" James asked.
"Don't you remember me? I was one of Sevvie's best friends. Don't you remember me, Sevvie?"
Snape stared into the impenetrable shadows cast by the Death Eater's hood. "...Trurn?"
"He remembers me! Hallelujah, he remembers me!" Trurn Mahbism clapped his hands in sarcasm, "Don't any of you remember me? I was the subject of a number of your cruel little pranks, and now I am going to have my revenge...but first maybe I should remind myself of who you lot are? Other than the piles of ash that you will be in a few moments." He pointed his wand at each person in turn as he described him or her in the manner of a Death Eater.
"Peter Pettigrew...hopeless at everything except Herbology, that most pathetic of subjects. Loves tagging along with so-called 'Marauders' for a bit of the fame, fortune and action.
"Severus Snape, my ex-best friend. Ha! I can't believe you were my idol! You couldn't even remain loyal to those similar to you, and look where you've ended up. Performing useless charms to help a doddering old fool feel better about himself. You could have been great, Sev. But you decided not to be. So you're not." The sneer was obvious even with his hood up.
"Lily Evans. Well, well...either you've put on a bit of weight or Mr. Potter here has been busy!" The Death Eater cackled. "Always had your nose in a book, especially good at Charms, eh? Charming lady, really." He cackled again.
"Jamesie Potter, how is the leader of the Marauders doing, then? Well, it appears. Cleaned up your act then? Instead of hexing Hogwarts behind Dumbledore's back you're now doing it for him! How amusing.
"Si...Si...how is Hogwarts' most eligible bachelor getting along now? Looks about the same as before...Hmm. Honestly can't see why the ladies were attracted to you, but then maybe I'm just jealous. And anyway, you don't seem to have one with you right now..." Trurn mock-punched Sirius on the shoulder, a sly and wicked grin on the lit lower part of his square chin.
"Well hello, my dear! Sephine! I haven't seen you for a year!"
"Go screw your broomstick, Trurn." She sneered back at him.
"Ah, yes, yes. Haven't changed a bit, have you? And I'm sure that you don't know much more than you did then, either..." He turned to include Remus in his manic speech. "Remus...!" he called. "I know what you are! Sevvie told me! I know all about you! And yet, I sense...dear Sephine doesn't..."
Sephine frowned, wondering what the moron was getting at, and turned to tell Remus that she knew how full of rubbish Trurn was. But Remus had gone very pale, and was shaking his head slowly, a pained expression overcoming his face. "No...oh no, Trurn, don't, please...!"
Nevertheless, Trurn raised his wand, cackling at Remus' reaction. Sephine moved to Remus, holding onto each of his shoulders. "What? Remus, what is he talking about? Oh, God, no. Wait. Okay. I'll start again. I don't care what he's on about. I love you as you are and I don't care if you're an illegal Animagus or-or anything, I promise!"
"Sephine, no!" Sirius shouted, moving towards them, too, but he was too late. Still giggling, Trurn had his wand aimed at the side of Remus that he could see. "Exposier!"
Although the sky had been clear, a projection of clouds now appeared above Remus and Sephine, parting with a swift wind that tugged at their robes, billowing them out in floating patterns. A full moon peeked from between the dark clouds, and bright light, brilliant, beautiful blue-white light was revealed, pouring over them. Remus had his eyes scrunched shut, and was trying to back out of Sephine's grip, whispering all the time, "It's not real, it's not real..." to himself.
She, however, stood transfixed, her fingers locked into the material of his robes as she stared up at the moon. Trurn's laughter made her look at Remus again, though, and the feeling that she was no longer holding fabric brought her back to where she was.
His body had been almost entirely engulfed by a coarse brown coat of fur, and as she watched, it spread up his neck to his face, which was contorted with pain, as though he was trying desperately not to scream. His face began to lengthen, and she could feel the shape of his muscles changing beneath her hold. It was too late to get away, she could see that now, but still she pulled back, unlocking her cramped fingers from the long, thick hairs.
As Sephine released her grasp, though, the wolf gained his, inch-long claws digging their way through her sleeves and into her arms. It opened its jaws, hungry as always for flesh.
Sephine raised her forearm, painfully tearing the skin further where its claws were, and hitting the monster square on the chin. It howled and pushed forwards again, toppling her off her feet. Heavy as the wolf was having fallen on top of her, Sephine tried to concentrate on fending off the huge teeth without being bitten, but she was growing increasingly tired, the immense strength of it overcoming her easily.
Its teeth were seconds from her throat when its nose shortened again - quicker than it had lengthened - and the fur shrank to a set of Hogwarts robes once more. Remus fell with a sob onto her.
The fall must have dazed her slightly, because Sephine wasn't entirely sure of anything at that point. Trurn was laughing, but she wasn't sure why, or even who Trurn was. Remus was crying, but she wasn't sure why, or even why she couldn't feel blood on her arms.
Finally she forced her eyes open though, and saw the crescent moon smiling down at her with a lopsided sort of grin. She sighed, and stroked Remus' hair gently, gazing around in wonder. The next thing that caught her eye, however, was Trurn, his wand raised once more, and this time pointed at Lily and James' unborn child.
She pushed at the sobbing and profusely apologetic Remus, trying to get out from beneath his dead weight. Eventually, she wondered at this, and studied him. All the wolf's old wounds seemed to have been opened up once more by Trurn's revealing spell, and colour was draining rapidly from Remus' face.
"Oh no...oh no." She said miserably, holding his face in front of hers and endeavouring to wipe some tears from his cheeks, but only succeeding in smearing blood from her fingers onto him. "Why aren't Sirius or Peter or Severus doing something?" she asked aloud, craning her head off the moist ground to glance around the area. Peter was cowering behind a pillar, and she could now hear Snape and Dumbledore's shouted and urgent conversation down by the Lake. Sirius was nowhere to be seen, but James was watching the door closely as he held onto Lily firmly, trying to protect his unborn. Trurn looked as though he had completely lost whatever sanity he may have had, and was ranting and raving about something irrelevant, his wand waving around, taunting the pair in front of him.
"Remus, move..." She murmured, trying to free herself once again, but more urgently this time. "Let me go, Remus!" He looked at her in bewilderment, but her attention was still on the group standing several meters away from them. His head turned slowly, following her gaze. She wriggled out from him, struggling to her feet unsteadily. She had been just about to approach Trurn, when she felt a tug on her cloak hem.
"No, Sephine! I'm sorry I didn't tell you, don't leave me, please...I couldn't bear it. I couldn't..."
She shrugged her cloak off, letting it fall into his hands. "Don't be silly, I'm not leaving you. I have to stop him. I must stop him..."
Trurn seemed to be getting bored of talking to himself, and was gesturing more confidently with his handful of wands.
Sephine studied him carefully, creeping up from the side. "Accio wands!" Almost all the wands left his hand, his own remaining there, his fingers locked tightly around it. Her wand, seven and a half inches, willow, phoenix feather, shot to her palm, all the others scattering across the ground between her and Trurn.
He spun to face her, his hood now down, and a look of total shock registering on his face. He hissed, not even bothering with words, just pointing his wand and visualising what he wanted to happen. A burst of deadly white light sprang forth from his wand, straight for Sephine, who, without thinking, did the same, and imagined what she wanted as she brandished her own wand in defence. The light parted about a foot from her wand, spreading up into the navy blue sky. Trurn shouted in frustration, grinding his teeth and shifting his wand slightly.
That did it. Her concentration had been on one point, not expecting the point to change, and now incandescent white light burst like an inferno past her shield, seeming to just travel through the warding hand that she raised.
The phoenix was released by her pain, and screamed its song of suffering to Trurn before erupting in a blaze of fire, engulfing the Death Eater
The orange light faded, and a pile of ashes remained, scattered across the grass. A very tiny and badly burnt chick emerged from them, its eyes gummed up with soot. It transformed by default back to human form, its weakness as a phoenix wanting protection from the woman who embodied it. Sephine, however, did not appear to be much better off than the phoenix.
Remus battled to his feet, trembling from blood loss, and clutching at his stomach. He made his way slowly to Sephine, as did James and Lily. When he reached her prone form he let his knees give way, and held her to him, crying into her blackened sweater.
She gave a small cough, then appeared far more still than before. The three that remained held their breath, hoping for some kind of response more from her.
Just as Remus began to give up all hope, the massive main doors of Hogwarts swung open to reveal Sirius and Madam Pomfrey. Peter came shivering out from his hiding place, unable to wrench his gaze from Sephine, and Dumbledore and Severus appeared over the slight hill from the Lake.
Madam Pomfrey wasted no time, conjuring three stretchers and administering a potion of some sort to Sephine. Charlie's stretcher included a sheet to cover him from morbidly curious gawking, and made its own way ahead of the silent procession, travelling alone to some quiet pre- programmed destination.
* * *
She'd never fully appreciated the advantages of being able to sleep before. But now, now she could only lie there, staring at the ceiling that she could see between the engulfing curtains that were wrapped around her bed. God it was boring. How many times she counted the stone blocks she didn't know, and that flowered pattern on the screens was becoming more depressing by the hour.
She wasn't quite sure why she was still there. She felt fine, and the only evidence of last night that she could see was a puckered scar on the back of her right hand. She could remember other things, but she drove them away, not wanting to remember. That was why she couldn't sleep. They'd catch up with her if she did, and they'd confront her and haunt her forever.
So she finally left her bed after sundown, having heard voices outside earlier, but not being visited by the owners of any of them. All the screens were up on every bed. She looked at it in disgust, the sea of printed flowers and repeated patterns getting on her nerves. She padded down the aisle, everything silent until an undignified rumble from her stomach made itself known.
She grunted to herself in acceptance of this request and made for the kitchen.
"Ooh, Sephine!" Seventh year Trina Khan was waiting for Sha-Rukh Partil outside a room as she passed, still in hospital robes. "Are you feeling better? Your friends want to see you - I don't know if you heard...?" Heather nodded at her blank stare. "Of course, sorry, not much comes in or goes out of the hospital at the moment. It's just...they're wondering if you saw Remus Lupin in there? Madam Pomfrey won't answer any questions about him, and no-one's seen or heard anything about him at all..."
She frowned. "How long have I been in there?"
"Oh, only since last night."
She scoffed, "right, so you think there's going to be that much gossip circulating already? Gimme a break, Trin."
"Well do you know anything about Remus?" She asked her departing form desperately.
"No, I don't, but I'm sure he's recovering quite nicely under Madam Pomfrey's caring influence."
"Sephine!" She whined, stamping an impatient foot. "James said that he didn't look so good when he went in. He said Madam Pomfrey was really worried," this she added much more quietly, studying the other girl's reaction.
"He'll be fine," her voice quivered slightly as she headed on down the corridor.
* * *
When she got back to the hospital, Sephine was feeling much better, peeling chunks out of an apple as she walked, and Trina's doubt far from her mind. Or it was until she saw that all the screens were still drawn. Swallowing the last piece of apple, she set the knife and core down on her bedside table, behind the screen.
After a thorough examination of all the beds in the room, and finding all of them empty, she was beginning to worry again. The door slammed and she spun around at the sound of Madam Pomfrey's voice. "Sephine Winters! What on earth are you doing out of bed--"
"Where's Remus?" her voice was full of urgency as she advanced on the healer. "Where is he?"
"Sephine, calm down. You need more rest, Remus is...he's fine." Pomfrey tried to steer her towards her bed again, but she fought out of her grip.
"WHERE IS HE?" She screamed, knowing how hysterical she sounded, but not believing that she was actually that wrought-up.
"He's gone--"
"What?!"
"--to--"
"Don't say it..."
"Sephine, lie down. You need to relax."
"No! Where is he?!" she sat down on the edge of the bed, shaking with fear and rage. Why can't she just answer my question?
"Sephine, sleep. You need sleep. Just rest now, you'll get answers when you are fully recovered."
She looked up at Madam Pomfrey in horror and pleading, just wanting a straight answer, not to be left confused like this. "Okay." she whispered, curling up in the covers, her eyes refusing to close.
* * *
The first thing that her eyes fell upon when she woke was the knife still on her table. The last thing her eyes had seen when she had been asleep had been Remus' apparently lifeless form in the grass as she fell. Her groggy brain made an assumption, and her newly scarred hand reached out to the knife.
* * *
She looked up from her half-packed bag as the door to the dorm creaked open apparently of its own accord. Lily took the Invisibility Cloak off and smiled sadly at the sight of her packing.
"Hello, Sephy. I just wanted to thank you on behalf of James and I...and our child. That was a truly incredible thing that you did for us. I- I don't know how to repay you..."
She shook her head and even managed a small smile. "Don't. I was delirious anyway. And if I hadn't James would surely have got you out with less mess and trouble. I could tell you had a plan."
Now Lily's smile turned rueful. "Yes. Trurn was just focusing on James and I, and seemed to forget the existence of the others. Peter fled, but Sirius had this," she held up the Cloak. "He and Snape managed to sneak off, and when Trurn realised that they had gone, he merely laughed yet again and returned his attention to us."
Sephine snorted in amusement. "That Death Eater was seriously under- done in the head."
Lily sighed and changed the subject."You know; you gave us quite a scare for a few hours. Madam Pomfrey wouldn't say anything about where you were or how you were."
She felt her lip twitch in irritation. "Yes. She does seem to have gone quite quiet recently, doesn't she? Have you heard anything about Remus?"
"No, sorry." Lily whispered. "It seems that they're thinking up an excuse still for his injuries. They don't want to tell the whole school of...well..." Lily looked at her hands and frowned, avoiding her gaze.
"I wish he'd told me."
"He was going to--"
"But now he'll never have the chance. And I won't hear it. I want to forget everything that happened here. From now on, I'm just another normal student who only spent seven years at school. I wasn't one of Dumbledore's little helpers, and I have had nothing to do with illegal Animagi - oh, yes, I know that one - or werewolves, or Death Eaters or anything of the kind. I've never performed an Unforgivable Curse, and I've never seen a dead friend before. I've never met any of you. Maybe I'll just become a Muggle!" She laughed and fixed her small trunk to the back of her broomstick.
"What shall I tell him, Sephine?" Lily's voice was hoarse and her eyes were watering. "What do I tell him? That you couldn't face staying because of what he was? That will break more than his heart. That you left because he didn't tell you before? Because he lied out of fear of losing you? I can't believe that you would be that cruel."
She hesitated on the windowsill before pushing off. "You never had this conversation with me. I've just disappeared." And with that she flew away from Hogwarts and, hopefully, her memories. ~~~
She looked up from the table where her gaze had been fixed during the re-telling of her conversation with Lily. Remus appeared to be looking through her. His expression was one of hurt and confusion. She searched guiltily for some glint of forgiveness.
"So you were lying, even when you came here. When you said that you believed I was dead." He spoke with such finality that she leapt from her chair, sending it tumbling backwards.
"No! I did believe that, just for a moment. But...but I knew you weren't when I left," she admitted.
He still didn't look at her, but nodded to himself before changing the subject. "You know that what you did wasn't actually worth it?"
"W-what?" She leaned on the table, making her way partly around to his side of it.
"Lily's parents threatened to disown her. Said she was too young. She and James got rid of the first child before it was born. Harry was their only child, and he certainly wasn't born when she was still only twenty." Still he refused to look up.
She groaned, and sank to the floor by his chair. "Oh, my life is pointless."
Finally Remus turned to her, and pinned her with an accusing grey stare. "Did you leave because of what I am? Do I disgust you? Do you see me as a monster? Sephine, answer me."
She winced at the harsh tone he used, and now it was her who would not look at him. "No, no! No. You're not a monster. You don't disgust me. I left because I'd lost my mind temporarily. I didn't think." She laughed ruefully and quietly. It sounded pathetic to her own ears."Maybe it was something in Trurn's curse!" Eventually she gazed up at him again, and took hold of his hands. "Remus...I did love you, I swear. I do love you. Whatever, whoever you are. Please, please forgive me. I'm so sorry."
His expression did not change as she looked imploringly up at him, and she couldn't face it, closing her eyes and bowing her head, her tears now falling freely. But then a firm but gentle pair of hands lifted her to his arms, and he whispered, "Hush, it's okay, Sephine. I'll forgive you if you'll forgive me."
She brushed the hair from her eyes, and smiled the first truly happy smile that she had done in years. "Oh, of course I forgive you, Remus!" And Sephine finally felt that she could face her memories again.
* * *
The students who were down to breakfast late that Saturday looked up in surprise to see Professor Lupin and a strange woman enter the Great Hall, laughing conspiratorially about something or other.
Albus Dumbledore smiled in satisfaction as he raised his glass of pumpkin juice to them.
Severus Snape watched them with caution, and wondered if they had teamed up to blame him for that night's occurrences.
And the black dog at the Gryffindor table wagged its tail in contentment.
* * *
"You know we have to speak to Severus, too." Remus looked at her over the phoenix feather quill he was marking homework with.
Sephine swung her legs behind her as she lay on her stomach reading. "Hmm. Yes, I know. But I'm not particularly looking forwards to it."
"Don't like admitting you were wrong, oh great one?" he gave her a crooked grin as he dipped the quill in a pot of crimson ink.
She smiled and felt herself blush as she hastily switched her attention back to her book. It was a Muggle story, called The Hobbit, and it gave her great amusement to read the Muggle's ideas of elves and trolls and the like.
Remus was just about to turn back to the encouraging comment he was marking on Neville Longbottom's essay when there was a sharp knock on the door. "Lupin! I know you're harbouring that cowardly Auror! Send her out here alone! I shan't have the two of you convince me that I was in the wrong!"
Sephine smiled ruefully. "No peace for the wicked, eh?"
Remus, however, put his quill down carefully and gave her a searching look. "Are you sure you're ready to talk to him?"
She closed the book with finality. "Yes I'm ready - I think." I hope. "Don't mollycoddle me, Lupin."
He grinned and made for the door. "Okay, Severus. Come and take your best shots, we've got the answers you want..."
Snape's angry frame filled the doorway. "I don't think so. She has the answers I want."
Sephine sighed and stood up, moving to Remus' side. "Severus, you'll get extra points of view this way, honest, and you can put all stories together and try to figure out which parts you want to believe and which you don't when we're done. Just for once let's agree to talk this through completely, with all the surviving members of that group...barring Peter."
The black dog that had appeared out of the adjoining room wagged its tail and barked in agreement, and even seemed to give Snape an all-knowing sneer.
Seeing that this was the only option there was, Severus stepped into the room, his expression showing great distaste of the situation.
* * *
"So where were Winters and Lupin? Where was Madam Pomfrey hiding them?" Severus asked the one question that hadn't been answered yet by their conference.
Remus glanced at Sephine, and she nodded, taking out the crumpled piece of paper from her pocket and smoothing it out on the table. It was obviously a map of some kind, with many scrawls in different inks and handwritings covering it. Passages and doors had been scribbled out and re- drawn, spells and incantations had been listed down the sides, and seven signatures in separate inks dominated the top of it. "This is our original copy of the Marauder's Map--"
"The what?" Snape was immediately suspicious.
"Ah..." Sirius looked at Sephine, who in turn looked at Remus.
"Oh, nothing. It's just this silly map that we made when we were at school. Filch has the other one now, don't worry."
Snape's eyes narrowed and his mouth twisted into a grimace as he muttered, "Potter..."
The other three ignored this, and Sephine continued, unfolding the Map and pointing to an obscure room to the West of Dumbledore's Tower. "This is where the Headmaster keeps his phoenix, Fawkes. It's also just above a lay line, and contains a lot of strong healing powers. We were taken there to recover as best as possible."
"Well why didn't you tell all your little friends?" Snape sneered.
Remus sighed. "We were taken there in secret - as in not even we knew where we were...until at least a week afterwards when we were supposedly sworn to secrecy...or I was at least. Sephine just never found out until yesterday where she had been, or where I had been."
Severus looked at them all thoughtfully for a moment, and then nodded and stood up slowly. "All right. I'm sorry about the animosity I've shown to you all. You've explained everything very clearly and let me interpret it all for myself - I am grateful for that. But don't go expecting any favours. Black is still no friend of mine, and I'm nevertheless sure that you, Lupin, had something to do with that joke of his. Sephine, I don't feel so insulted now, but I don't forget easily." He regarded them all once more before leaving. "Just thank me for this much."
As the door closed, the three that were left exchanged amused glances and burst into relieved laughter.
"Thank him?" Sirius snorted. "Ha, ha! The pompous git!"
Sephine raised an eyebrow with a wicked grin, "Well, he did apologise to us."
* * *
With her head buried in Remus' shoulder and the lights and sounds of the Yule Ball all around them, Sephine felt that she could live in that moment forever. She sighed when the song ended, and opened her eyes, gazing across the room. A bad mood in black caught her attention as her stare roved across the happy people gathered. Severus was sitting alone, his eggnog untouched.
With another sigh, she disentangled herself from Remus' warm hold, smiling crookedly and whispering, "I think I need to go and cheer someone up..."
His puzzled expression turned to a smile much like her own when he saw whom she meant, and he nodded. "Good luck, have fun."
She tossed a toothy grin and a wink over her shoulder. "As always..."
Severus was glaring at the goblet that sat next to him, wishing he could make himself lift it enough times to forget his troubles at least temporarily, when something tapped his head.
He looked up in anger, ready to shout an accusation, when he found that his glare focused upon a pair of bright blue puppy-dog eyes. "Sevvie, I know you said all was forgiven not forgotten, but I've been simply dying to dance with you all evening. Please, come and give me at least one of those famous Slytherin grooves..."
He had been about to comment on the lack of amusement in her practical joke, when she grabbed each of his wrists, and showing surprising strength, hauled him to his feet.
"Come on, this is one of my favourites!" Sephine pulled him to the dance-floor, not letting go for an instant, lest he escape back to his depression-filled corner.
"Sephine, this isn't funny." he growled.
"It's not supposed to be. I just wanted a dance."
"Don't lie, I can see Lupin and Black laughing over there."
Sephine craned her neck to see Remus and the black dog, and made a noise of irritation. "Honestly. I can't trust either of them! But I can trust you, Severus Snape, to cheer up a little and act in an adult way towards those immature little boys, can't I?"
"What? Sephine...what do you mean?"
"I mean stop sulking and live a little! You have no idea how boring it was trying to forget everything before starting anew...I'm surprised I didn't end up in a mental institute with the confusion of it all. Just forgive and forget. But don't forget everything. Remember this." She pressed the wizard photo of Dumbledore's guards into his hand and gently kissed him on the cheek, drawing some colour from his usually pallid face. "I missed you, Sevvie."
Sephine gave him one last sincere smile, then melted into the crowds, some of which stared in astonishment at her and, or Severus.
* * *
"You gave him my photo?!" Sirius yelped and gave her a hurt look.
"Oh for goodness sake, Padfoot, you have about five copies of that thing!" Remus laughed.
Sephine gave him a mock-reproachful look, "Five? Why on earth do you have that many?"
"I--"
"So he can slip them under the doors of unsuspecting Aurors, now go on! Dumbledore's waiting!" He shooed her into the corridor, catching her and giving her a kiss before sending her on giggling and saying, "All right, all right, I'm going!"
Dumbledore was smiling and holding a piece of new-looking parchment when she entered his office. A Ministry owl sat on his desk, its orange eyes fixed in shock on Fawkes, who appeared to be attempting a conversation with it.
"Good news, Sephine - they have agreed. You are no longer in service of the Ministry of Magic. You are an honorary member of the Hogwarts staff for as long as you choose."
She laughed, and at that moment could have flung her arms around the old man. "Oh thank you, thank you, Headmaster! This means so much to me, I-- "
He held a hand up gently to silence her. "No. Thank you, Sephine. You have dealt magnificently with your memories, and have become the wonderful person you should have been, had that fateful night not occurred. And you seem to have softened that ugly exterior of Severus Snape. Soon, no doubt, we shall have the true Potions Master revealed...but one challenge at a time, eh? Now here. Take this parchment and treasure it, for it is essentially your passport to a slightly more normal life...if there is such a thing."
Sephine took it and grinned. "I'm hoping I won't make such a mess of my second shot at it."
* * *