==============================ATTENTION=============================

This document is not an attempt to degrade or demean the creators or characters of Final Fantasy 9. I am in fact a big fan of the game. I have merely chosen to use these characters because there personalities fit the story I am trying to write. Enjoy!!!!

Episode 1



- Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of It's My Life. Starring Zidane...Garnet...Eiko, Quina, Steiner, Vivi, and......well you know the rest.-

- Here are your host Zidane and Freya-

Zidane: "What's up everybody?!"

(crickets in the background)

Freya: "Well, what an energetic audience we have today!"

Random Audience Member: "Booooooooo! I wanna go home"

Zidane: "I can make that happen for you pal!"

Freya: "Alright. Now that we've gotten all that out of the way. Let's start the show"

"If you're ready to start the show, lemme hear you say yeah!!!?"

(silence)

Freya: "Such enthusiasm."

Scene 1: (a sanatorium in some remote location................)

Guard: .....Mr.......Mr. Kuja?..........................................

Kuja: What is it?

Guard: Are you hungry?

Kuja: I'M EVIL I TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVILLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guard: ..................

Guard: ..................

Guard: .................. Are you hungry?

Kuja: Yes

Guard: Here you go.

Guard: Today we have fried chicken and creamed mashed potatoes lightly whipped with butter, hot corn on the cob and...........

Kuja: I'M EVILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. (sniffle, sniffle) WHY DOESN'T ANYONE BELIEVE ME?!

Guard: ....................

Guard: .................... hot corn on the cob and buttered biscuits served with

Kuja: Evil

Guard: .................. served with .................

Kuja: Evil

Guard: No. Juicy Juice

Kuja: Evil

Guard: ........................

Kuja: Hey guard. Guess what?

Guard: What?

Kuja: I'm evil.

Guard: Okay

Scene 2: (at a restuarant in downtown Lindblum)

Zidane: Garnet, I'm so glad that we're together now.

Garnet: Me too. I knew you were the right man for me all along,

Zidane: Really? You sure had a strange way of showing it.

Garnet: That was just to create drama on the game. Gotta earn my paycheck somehow. You know.

Zidane: Well, I'm glad that we're together now.

Garnet: It's been 8 months now since we started dating. I'm so happy!

Zidane: Yeah 8 months! ("I thought it was 7")

(there's a brief moment of silence during which they gaze longingly into each others eyes)

Zidane: Hey, Can I ask you something.

Garnet: Sure, what is it?

Zidane: .............Will..............will...............you...................

(Garnet's heart skips a beat)

Zidane: ......................will you..............

Garnet: ("This is it. I can't believe it's really happening!")

Zidane: Will you........................................................... pass me the salt?

Garnet: .......................

Garnet: Are you serious!?!

Zidane: What?!

Garnet: You're such a jerk.

Zidane: Huh?!

Garnet: ......................

Zidane: ......................

Garnet: ......................

Zidane: So, can I have the salt?!

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Zidane: "So, how did you like the first episode"

Random Audience Member: "It was okay"

Freya: "Zidane, you're such a jerk"

Zidane: "Why?"

Freya: "For leading Garnet on like that."

Zidane: "I know what I'm doing."

Zidane: "Sit back and watch me work my magic."

Freya: "Tricks are for kids"

Freya: "We're adults here"

Random Audience Member: "Yeah"

Zidane: "Well I run the show here and I make the calls"

Zidane: "I wear the pants around here!"

Producer: (clears his throat loudly)

Zidane: "Somewhat"

Freya: "Well, that's all we have time for today. Join us next week for another episode of It's My Life."

Random Audience Member: "Can we go now"

Zidane: "Watch it, bub!"