Disclaimer: I really don't think it's necessary for me to mention this every single time, but if I don't, someone's going to read this and take it the wrong way and go run and tell their mommies. Their mommies are going to get upset and call Squaresoft/Enix (Square Enix now they merged) and say that I'm insulting the whole company, which will probably turn into a superhuge lawsuit in which I'll somehow be found guilty and thrown into jail where I'll be making license plates for the rest of my life, so........................ here it goes. (author clears his throat, get's out new sheet of paper.)
I do not in any shape, form or fashion own any of the Final Fantasy characters in any of the games. These characters and the Final Fantasy label are the sole property of Square Enix. This fiction is not intended to insult, demean or belittle any of the Final Fantasy staff. (Whew!!!) Now let's get started!!
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Episode 3!! That means read episodes 1 and 2 if you have not already done so or you will be clueless as to what's going on.
======================================================================
Episode 3
- Hey there all you crazy critters! It's time for.............................. -
Zidane: (interrupts) We hear this every week. Let's just start the show.
- But I'm not finished -
Zidane: You are now.
Producer: Or is he?!!!
(the chessy dun, dun, dunnnnnnnn music plays)
- No I'm not -
Producer: Then let's start over
Cameraman: 3, 2, 1 and action.
- Hey there all you crazy critters! It's time for It's My Li.............................. -
Zidane: (interrupts again) Can you at least try something new?
- What do you mean? This is new! -
Producer: Or is it?!
(dun, dun, dunnnnnnnnn)
Zidane: What is with that?
Producer: Oh nothing. I just thought it would bring some life to the show!
Zidane: If you ask me, personally. you're killing it.
Producer: Okay. I'll stop
Freya: Can we pleeeeeeeease start the show?!
Random Audience Member: Yeah!
(the rest of the audience also chimes in)
Producer: Alright! One more time from the top!
Zidane: Remember, something new.
Cameraman: 3, 2, 1 and action.
- Hey there all you bodacious bovines! It's time for It's My Life!! Starring Freya, Garnet, Vivi, Steiner, Quina, Eiko, Amarant, and that loser Zidane -
Zindane: LOSER?!!!! I GOT YOUR LOSER RIGHT..............
Freya: (interrupts) Today we have Beaxtrix on the show
(Loud applause from the audience)
Zidane: You people like that self-centered hood rat?
(Yeah)
Zidane: Whatever
Freya: Okay, we'll bring her out after the 1st scene.
======================================================================
Scene 1
(back at the sanatorium, again)
Kuja: Almost got it. Yippee, I can't wait!
Kuja: (in a singsong voice) I'm gonna break out! I'm gonna break out!
(Clink!! The lock drops to the floor)
Kuja: Yes!! I'm out
(skips happily down the hallway. The alarm goes off!)
Kuja: That's my cue
(hides behind a wall)
(a group of guards run by)
Guard 1: Who's trying to escape!!!!
Guard 2: It's just Kuja
Guard 1: Oh, in that case, back to lunch everyone!!
Guard 3: Aren't we going to go look for him?!
Guard 2: Why, what's he going to do? Steal all the pink soft teddy bears and balloons?!
(The guards walk back laughing amongst themselves)
Kuja: So they don't think I'm dangerous, huh! I'll show them.
(Kuja runs into a wall as he's running out the door)
Kuja: Owww!! That hurt! (sniffle, sniffle)
======================================================================
Scene 2
(At Amarant's house in the southern part of Georgia!)
Amarant: (singing to himself while planting flowers in his yard) "It...It's......a.......beau....beautiful day in the neigh..........neighborhood, a............a beautiful da...........day for a neigh................neighbor.
(Eiko walks up)
Eiko: What's going on Amarant?
Amarant: He........Hello
Eiko: Are you okay? I didn't know you liked to plant flowers, and what's up with those glasses.
Amarant: My.............My momma say..............says they m...........make me lo.........lo........look..k..k sexy.
Eiko: (under her breathe) Someone lied to you.
Eiko: Why are you stuttering?
Amarant: S........Someone sh........shot the spe..........spee..........speech tr............tr..........tr (takes a breath) tr.........trainer.
Eiko: (under her breath again) This guy really needs to get "hooked on phonics."
Eiko: (to herself) I better go because talking to him could take a while!
======================================================================
Freya: How did you like the first 2 scenes?
Random Audience Member: It was okay.
Producer: Or was it?
(dun, dun, dunnnnnnnnnnn)
Zidane: I thought we had an agreement.
Producer: Oh yeah, I forgot.
Freya: It's time to bring out our guest. She's the world renowned general turned writer, Beatrix!!!
Beatrix: Thank you for bringing me on the show, which by the way is going to really boost your ratings!!
Zidane: (sigh) Let the self-centeredness begin!
Freya: (ignoring Zidane) Thank you so much for joining us. First off, let's talk about your new book.
Beatrix: Yes, I have a ne book in stores called It's All About Me. I wrote it............
Zidane: (sarcasticly) Naw really, I thought I wrote it.
Beatrix: Well, I'm sorry. I wrote it.
Zidane: (under his breath) Dumb blond!
Freya: So tell us more about the book.
Beatrix: It's nothing much. It's about me and my life, the places I've gone, the things I've seen, the people I've killed and where I shop for groceries and things like that!
Zidane: (to himself) Boooooooooooooooring!!
Freya: Well thank you so much for joining us today!!
Beatrix: Oh, it was my.......excuse my manners, your pleasure. Anytime!!
Zidane: You can't be serious!?!
Freya: On to Scene 3
======================================================================
Scene 3
(at a local newstation)
Anchor Bob: America...... I have good news and bad news.
Anchor Amanda: What's the bad news, Bob?
Anchor Bob: The bad news is that Kuja has broken out of Madain Sari Sanatorium AGAIN and is raging throught out the town, killing innocent civilians and screaming -quote- "I'M EEEEEEEEEVIL I TELL YOU! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVILLL! -end quote-
Anchor Amanda: That's horrible! Well what's the good news?
Anchor Bob: The goods new is that I saved alot of money on my car insurance ny switching to Geico.
(silence)
Anchor Amanda: In other news, Secretary of State Rick James has apparently been sued for his extremely large bill at the Waffle House in downtown Washington, D.C.
Anchor Bob: That's all the news for now. Stay tuned for the 33rd Annual Chess Championships!!!
======================================================================
Freya: Ha Ha Ha!!! That was funny!!
Zidane: Yeah, it was.
Producer: Or was it?
(dun, dun. dunnnnnnnnnnnnn)
Zidane: (clears his throat loudly)
Producer: I'm sorry! I couldn't resist!
Zidane: Well that's all the time we have for now!
Freya: Join us next time for another episode of It's My Life.
Zidane: Now where is that announcer guy?!
======================================================================
(Whew!) There you have it. Another long night, another episode. I'm tired. Let me know what you think!
I do not in any shape, form or fashion own any of the Final Fantasy characters in any of the games. These characters and the Final Fantasy label are the sole property of Square Enix. This fiction is not intended to insult, demean or belittle any of the Final Fantasy staff. (Whew!!!) Now let's get started!!
======================================================================
Episode 3!! That means read episodes 1 and 2 if you have not already done so or you will be clueless as to what's going on.
======================================================================
Episode 3
- Hey there all you crazy critters! It's time for.............................. -
Zidane: (interrupts) We hear this every week. Let's just start the show.
- But I'm not finished -
Zidane: You are now.
Producer: Or is he?!!!
(the chessy dun, dun, dunnnnnnnn music plays)
- No I'm not -
Producer: Then let's start over
Cameraman: 3, 2, 1 and action.
- Hey there all you crazy critters! It's time for It's My Li.............................. -
Zidane: (interrupts again) Can you at least try something new?
- What do you mean? This is new! -
Producer: Or is it?!
(dun, dun, dunnnnnnnnn)
Zidane: What is with that?
Producer: Oh nothing. I just thought it would bring some life to the show!
Zidane: If you ask me, personally. you're killing it.
Producer: Okay. I'll stop
Freya: Can we pleeeeeeeease start the show?!
Random Audience Member: Yeah!
(the rest of the audience also chimes in)
Producer: Alright! One more time from the top!
Zidane: Remember, something new.
Cameraman: 3, 2, 1 and action.
- Hey there all you bodacious bovines! It's time for It's My Life!! Starring Freya, Garnet, Vivi, Steiner, Quina, Eiko, Amarant, and that loser Zidane -
Zindane: LOSER?!!!! I GOT YOUR LOSER RIGHT..............
Freya: (interrupts) Today we have Beaxtrix on the show
(Loud applause from the audience)
Zidane: You people like that self-centered hood rat?
(Yeah)
Zidane: Whatever
Freya: Okay, we'll bring her out after the 1st scene.
======================================================================
Scene 1
(back at the sanatorium, again)
Kuja: Almost got it. Yippee, I can't wait!
Kuja: (in a singsong voice) I'm gonna break out! I'm gonna break out!
(Clink!! The lock drops to the floor)
Kuja: Yes!! I'm out
(skips happily down the hallway. The alarm goes off!)
Kuja: That's my cue
(hides behind a wall)
(a group of guards run by)
Guard 1: Who's trying to escape!!!!
Guard 2: It's just Kuja
Guard 1: Oh, in that case, back to lunch everyone!!
Guard 3: Aren't we going to go look for him?!
Guard 2: Why, what's he going to do? Steal all the pink soft teddy bears and balloons?!
(The guards walk back laughing amongst themselves)
Kuja: So they don't think I'm dangerous, huh! I'll show them.
(Kuja runs into a wall as he's running out the door)
Kuja: Owww!! That hurt! (sniffle, sniffle)
======================================================================
Scene 2
(At Amarant's house in the southern part of Georgia!)
Amarant: (singing to himself while planting flowers in his yard) "It...It's......a.......beau....beautiful day in the neigh..........neighborhood, a............a beautiful da...........day for a neigh................neighbor.
(Eiko walks up)
Eiko: What's going on Amarant?
Amarant: He........Hello
Eiko: Are you okay? I didn't know you liked to plant flowers, and what's up with those glasses.
Amarant: My.............My momma say..............says they m...........make me lo.........lo........look..k..k sexy.
Eiko: (under her breathe) Someone lied to you.
Eiko: Why are you stuttering?
Amarant: S........Someone sh........shot the spe..........spee..........speech tr............tr..........tr (takes a breath) tr.........trainer.
Eiko: (under her breath again) This guy really needs to get "hooked on phonics."
Eiko: (to herself) I better go because talking to him could take a while!
======================================================================
Freya: How did you like the first 2 scenes?
Random Audience Member: It was okay.
Producer: Or was it?
(dun, dun, dunnnnnnnnnnn)
Zidane: I thought we had an agreement.
Producer: Oh yeah, I forgot.
Freya: It's time to bring out our guest. She's the world renowned general turned writer, Beatrix!!!
Beatrix: Thank you for bringing me on the show, which by the way is going to really boost your ratings!!
Zidane: (sigh) Let the self-centeredness begin!
Freya: (ignoring Zidane) Thank you so much for joining us. First off, let's talk about your new book.
Beatrix: Yes, I have a ne book in stores called It's All About Me. I wrote it............
Zidane: (sarcasticly) Naw really, I thought I wrote it.
Beatrix: Well, I'm sorry. I wrote it.
Zidane: (under his breath) Dumb blond!
Freya: So tell us more about the book.
Beatrix: It's nothing much. It's about me and my life, the places I've gone, the things I've seen, the people I've killed and where I shop for groceries and things like that!
Zidane: (to himself) Boooooooooooooooring!!
Freya: Well thank you so much for joining us today!!
Beatrix: Oh, it was my.......excuse my manners, your pleasure. Anytime!!
Zidane: You can't be serious!?!
Freya: On to Scene 3
======================================================================
Scene 3
(at a local newstation)
Anchor Bob: America...... I have good news and bad news.
Anchor Amanda: What's the bad news, Bob?
Anchor Bob: The bad news is that Kuja has broken out of Madain Sari Sanatorium AGAIN and is raging throught out the town, killing innocent civilians and screaming -quote- "I'M EEEEEEEEEVIL I TELL YOU! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVILLL! -end quote-
Anchor Amanda: That's horrible! Well what's the good news?
Anchor Bob: The goods new is that I saved alot of money on my car insurance ny switching to Geico.
(silence)
Anchor Amanda: In other news, Secretary of State Rick James has apparently been sued for his extremely large bill at the Waffle House in downtown Washington, D.C.
Anchor Bob: That's all the news for now. Stay tuned for the 33rd Annual Chess Championships!!!
======================================================================
Freya: Ha Ha Ha!!! That was funny!!
Zidane: Yeah, it was.
Producer: Or was it?
(dun, dun. dunnnnnnnnnnnnn)
Zidane: (clears his throat loudly)
Producer: I'm sorry! I couldn't resist!
Zidane: Well that's all the time we have for now!
Freya: Join us next time for another episode of It's My Life.
Zidane: Now where is that announcer guy?!
======================================================================
(Whew!) There you have it. Another long night, another episode. I'm tired. Let me know what you think!