It had been a long day between her fight with Maya and then spending her entire day doing pro bono abortions which was emotionally exhausting. She knew it was important work, but she also found it stressful because these patients were stressed and scared and worried about their ability to receive proper health care.
While she had been doing them, Carina had been feeling off. Not because of her work, but her stomach just didn't feel well which she tried to write off as stress, but when someone walked by her with a particularly strong-smelling tray of food, she had booked it to the bathroom to be sick. She had cleaned herself up, but something in her just wasn't sitting right besides just her breakfast so she decided to go a blood draw and go a pregnancy test that way. It was much more accurate than the at home ones and had a much lower failure rate. She knew she was being silly, but she just wanted to be sure.
She went to the clinic opening and enjoyed her time with her friends while finding a discrete way to not drink more than half a sip of her champagne just in case. She got a little notification on her phone that her results were in from the test she ran earlier, which made her more than a little nervous.
She waited until she was alone to open them, tears immediately springing into her eyes when she saw the word POSITIVE next to the pregnancy line. She immediately tried to call her wife, the phone going straight to voice mail.
She figured Maya was likely at the house fire at Meredith's, but Carina decided that instead of going home, she would go to the station to wait. She was still furious at her wife, but this positive test was something she wanted to share. She gathered her things and headed to the station, finding it empty.
She peaked her head in the barn, noticing the trucks were out, but also spying a pair of turnouts on the ground and a red helmet with them. Her pulse increased a little was she walked over, noticing her wife's turnouts were there.
So Maya wasn't on the call and yet she was still ignoring her. Carina almost just walked out of the station, fury filling her body, but instead, that fury propelled her upstairs to look for her wife.
The first place she checked was the place Maya practically lived these days: the gym. She noticed it was dark and almost kept walking but as she went past the door, she noticed the outline of someone laying on the ground. Carina immediately dropped her things and ran into the gym, tears filling her eyes when she noticed it was Maya.
"Bambina," she whispered, wanting to touch her wife but having no idea what had happened so she didn't want to move her for fear of spinal injuries.
She quickly checked for a pulse, finding one quickly, noting that her wife was tachycardic which for someone like Maya who had a low heart rate in general was even more alarming.
"Help," she cried, having absolutely no idea if anyone was in the station, "Help. Someone, please help."
She didn't hear anyone so she pulled out her phone, totally unsure of who to call. Should she call 911? She was in a fire station. The people who should respond to that call weren't here. Just as she was about to dial anyway, she heard a noise from somewhere nearby.
"Help," she called again, despite for anyone to come and help her.
"What's going on?" Chief Ross asked as she walked into the gym, turning on the lights, gasping when she saw the scene in front of her.
"What happened?" the chief asked, kneeling down next to Carina.
"I don't know," the Italian said, "I came here to talk to her about something and I found her like this. She's unresponsive and tachycardic but she's breathing."
"I'll call it in," Chief Ross said, standing up, "And I'll go grab supplies."
"Hurry," Carina called, turning her full attention back to her wife.
She tried as hard as she could to stay clicked into doctor mode so she could concentrate on getting Maya help. She decided to move around to her other side to see if she could see any visible head injuries, quickly using her phone to check her wife's pupils which were reactive but sluggish.
"Come on Bambina," Carina said, "Wake up for me."
Maya didn't move or respond at all which worried Carina. She didn't see any cuts on her head but she carefully took her hands and gently palpated Maya's skull, noticing that her hair was damp, but not hot, meaning she had likely been down at least a little while. She tried not to start crying when she felt a distinct ridge on her wife's head that she knew was not normally there, knowing that was likely a skull fracture.
"Oh Bambina, what happened?" Carina said quietly, voice shaky.
Just then, Chief Ross ran back in with a jump bag.
"So 19's aid car was already on its way back," she said, "They will be here in a few minutes."
"Can I please have a c-collar?" Carina asked, "I am pretty sure she has a skull fracture. Her pupils are sluggish, and I am worried she might also have some kind of neck or back injuries."
"Here," Chief Ross said, opening the jump bag and handing Carina the collar before pulling out the blood pressure cuff.
Chief Ross helped Carina with securing Maya's neck before getting her blood pressure while Carina continued checking Maya's body for injuries, gasping as she lifted her shirt and saw massive bruising covering the left half of her wife's back.
"I'm worried she has spinal damage," Carina said, "Her back…"
"We'll just keep her from moving until we get help," Ross said, pulling the stethoscope out of her ears, "She's hypotensive. 80/50."
"Let's start an IV," Carina said.
Before Carina and the chief had time to realize it had been over a decade since either of them had placed an IV, Ben and Theo ran into the room.
"What the hell happened?" Ben asked as he got down on the floor.
"I found her like this," Carina said, "I have no idea. She's tachycardic and hypotensive. I am pretty sure I felt a skull fracture. Her pupils are sluggish. Her back is very bruised so please be careful. I don't know about other injuries."
"We've got her Carina," Ben said, looking at her.
Carina stood, moving back so Ben and Theo had better access. She watched Ben try to get an IV started, it taking him three tries before he hit a vein.
"She's dehydrated," he said, "Or bleeding somewhere. We can't know for sure until we get her to Grey-Sloan. "
Chief Ross handed Theo the backboard.
"Let's get ready to roll her," Theo said, getting the board behind the blonde.
Ben and Theo quickly but carefully got Maya onto the backboard.
"Shit," Ben said as he rolled her, noticing her shoulder did not look right.
"What?" Carina said, "What's wrong?"
"Her shoulder is not right," Ben said, "It's purple and her bones are not in the right place. I am guessing probably a clavicle and humorous fracture."
"What the hell happened?" Carina murmured, knowing this wasn't just a case of her wife passing out, not with the injuries she had.
"She wasn't herself on the call today," Theo said as he helped get Maya onto the board, "She was struggling. Like she physically couldn't lift the stretcher which is normally no problem. She hasn't been herself for a while, actually. I'm actually shocked she was in this gym. She didn't have any strength."
Carina didn't say anything, knowing that her wife had been pushing herself beyond her limits for months at this point, more so in the past few weeks. It hurt so much every time she saw Maya's swollen ankle or her little limp or her black toenails and even more every time she watched her wife leave the house for a run and continuously hurt herself as if she was punishing herself for something.
"Let's go," Ben said as he and Theo finished securing her to the board.
"Can I ride with you?" Carina asked.
"Of course," Ben said, setting the bag of fluids down on the stretcher as they headed toward the elevator.
They got to the aid car, Theo jumping up front to drive as Ben stayed in the back, still working on Maya.
"Mmm," Carina heard coming from her wife as they were pulling out of the station.
"It's ok Bambina," Carina said, careful about where she touched her wife, settling on brushing a finger on her cool cheek, "I'm right here."
Maya's eyes opened for a second hazy and unfocused before shutting again.
"Come on Bambina," Carina said, trying very hard not to start crying, "Please wake up. Ben, can you call Grey Sloan and ask if Link and Amelia and Bailey can all be there? I want her to have the best surgeons."
"Carina, we are already here," Ben said as they pulled up, "But she will have the best. I called Miranda on our way to the Station."
"Thank you," Carina said as the aid car doors opened.
"32-year-old female found unconscious after what is believed to be an unwitnessed fall. Hypotensive and tachycardic. Possible skull fracture. Pupils are sluggish. Bruising to the back. Left shoulder and upper arm appear to be displaced."
"Let's get her into Trauma 1," Bailey said.
They got Maya into the trauma room, someone immediately taking scissors to her clothes, trying to get a full picture of her injuries, Carina standing in the corner with Ben who had turned his back to Maya but was still standing with her friend. Someone pulled off Maya's shoes.
"Left ankle is swollen," someone called out.
"Her stupid ankle," Carina said, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks, "It hasn't been ok in weeks and yet, she insists on running on it and working on it."
"Wait, is that the ankle she hurt on Halloween?" Ben asked.
Carina nodded, still watching them work.
"I want a full set of labs run," Bailey called out, "And someone call ahead to CT and make sure it is open."
"Pupils are reactive but sluggish," Amelia called out, "That CT needs to include the head."
"This shoulder is broken," Link added, "I won't know the extent of the damage until I see the images. And this ankle is not looking good either. I'm worried about a possible fracture there too."
"Her chest sounds clear," Baily said, "And her abdomen is soft. Are we good to get her up to CT?"
"Yes," Link and Amelia said at the same time.
"Carina, you can…" Bailey started, but Carina cut her off.
"I'm coming with you," the Italian said.
"Understood," Bailey nodded.
"I'll stay," Ben said, looking at Carina.
"You can get back to work," Carina said, "I'm ok."
"No," Ben said, "I think I want to stay. Let me go talk to Theo, but I'll wait for you. Do you need anything? Coffee? I'm sure it is going to be a long night."
Carina almost said yes, but she remembered what she had found out earlier in the evening.
"No, that's ok," she said.
"Alright," Ben said, "I'll come find you when her scans are done?"
Carina nodded, following her wife and friends up to CT. They all stood in the booth, waiting for the results.
"Ok, she's got a nice linear skull fracture," Amelia said as the head CT came up first, "And a subdural hematoma which I don't love the size of. Combined with her unconsciousness and her pupils, I think that is going to require surgery."
"Oh, and here is her shoulder," Link said, "Wow, that is a nice clavicle break and it looks like she has a displaced humorous fracture. Both of those are going to require surgery to fix."
They waited in silence as the scan progressed, Amelia and Link both studying Maya's spin.
"I see some swelling," Link said, pointing it out, earning him a nod from Amelia, "But it doesn't look like there is anything broken. She's going to have a lot of pain there for a while, but it should heal on its own, and then probably need some PT."
"Good," Carina said, having been the most worried about Maya's brain and spine, knowing those could have had the most devastating injuries.
"Her abdomen also looks good," Bailey said, "I don't see any bleeding."
"And her ankle," Link said as the scan progressed, "Ok, so she has a grade IV ligament tear. That is going to need 6-12 weeks of rest, and because of her shoulder injuries, that's probably going to mean a wheelchair."
"Great," Carina said, "She is going to love that so much."
"Oh, her labs just came back," Bailey said, "Well, this might explain the fall. Her creatine kinase is very elevated. We will have to get another set of labs, but I am betting she has rhabdo. Her electrolytes are also all out of whack. She's got pretty severe dehydration going on. What the hell was she doing?"
"I have no idea," Carina said, shaking her head as she bit her lip, trying not to cry, "She has been pushing herself too hard for the past few months…She hasn't been well, but she won't get help. She just keeps working out. Every day it is the running and then the treadmill and the weights and the biking. She never slows down."
"She's going to have to now," Amelia said, "She's got some pretty serious injuries."
Just then, the monitors started going off and they looked into the CT room to see Maya seizing. They all ran into the room, Bailey calling for more help.
"Push lorazepam," Amelia called as the nurses came running in, "And let's get her up to the OR."
"We've got her," Bailey said, seeing how terrified Carina looked, "She is in the best possible hands, ok? I promise I will stay with her the entire time."
"Grazie," Carina nodded as they rushed Maya off to surgery.
She just stood there, not really sure how she was feeling.
She was terrified for her wife and so confused as to what had happened and part of her was also still mad at Maya for the fight they had had that morning and how little her wife actually seemed to care about her feelings and she was scared of what would happen when Maya woke up.
Carina knew that she was still going to be just as mentally unwell as she had been, if not more so, and now, the "way" her wife was "dealing" with all of her feeling had just been ripped away. She also had no idea if she was going to have any lasting brain damage from the bleed or the seizure which she tried to push out of her mind, letting her hand rest on her stomach, thinking about the baby that was growing there which helped to keep her from spiraling for the moment. Carina wandered back toward her office, finding Ben and Theo both waiting there for her.
"The rest of the team is on their way in," Ben said, "They just finished up at the fire at Meredith's place."
"They don't have to come," Carina said, shaking her head as she unlocked her office, "Maya is probably going to be in surgery for a while and then she is going to be in recovery."
"We all want to be here," Theo said, "Maya is one of our own. One who we haven't been taking the best care of recently."
Carina sighed, running her hand through her hair. She wasn't about to deny what Theo said because she knew it was true. She also knew, better than anyone, that her wife was not an easy person to be there for at the moment. Carina sat down on her couch, tucking her knees up to her chest, resting her head there.
"Is there anything we can do Carina?" Ben asked, "Anyone we should call or anything?"
"There's no one to call," Carina said, biting her lip, "Her family, we are it. It's just us."
Luckily, Ben and Theo didn't catch Carina's slip of saying we and just assumed she was talking about the team, though Carina genuinely only meant herself and the baby, not really considering Maya's team much of a family at the moment.
Tears filled Carina's eyes as she thought about the fact that her wife, the person she had been so excited to tell about this baby, was in surgery for pretty extensive and possibly life-changing injuries. Carina had always dreamed of having a baby, but it wasn't until she met Maya that she could truly see it happening, and now it was and the only person she wanted to tell she couldn't. For as angry as she wanted to be at her wife, she truly did love her and no matter what, this baby was also hers.
"We've got you Carina," Ben said, placing a hand on her back which she brushed off, not wanting anything too soft at the moment.
They sat there for a few minutes in silence, only Carina's occasional sobs and sniffles filling the space. Then, suddenly, the door opened and in came the rest of the team, still in their turnouts and smelling like smoke.
"What happened?" Andy asked as she lead the group into the room, "Is she ok?"
"She's in surgery," Ben said.
"Surgery?" Vic said, "For what?"
"She has a brain bleed and a broken clavicle and humorous," Carina said, managing to get the tears to stop, "And she had a bad ligament tear in her ankle and pretty big swelling in her back and rhabdomyolysis. Do you guys have any idea what happened?"
"No," Andy said, shaking her head, "I mean, the alarms went off and we all headed to the trucks and I noticed she didn't join us, but I pulled her off a job during our earlier call because she was struggling and seemed weak and I tried to convince her to stop fighting all of us, but instead she went for another run. When she didn't get on the engine, I thought maybe I had gotten through to her and that she was resting."
"Wait, so you saw she didn't come with you and you didn't wonder why?" Carina asked, feeling anger building, "Did you tell her she wasn't allowed on any more calls?"
"No," Andy said, "I just made her step away from something on one earlier. She was clearly exhausted and needed to stop before she got hurt."
"So when my wife, Maya 'I will push myself past what is healthy and safe and work five shifts in a row and never miss a call' Deluca-Bishop didn't come on the call with you, you didn't find that odd?" Carina asked, trying hard to keep her tone even.
"I mean, I did," Andy said, "But Beckett said to just leave her stuff and go so I did."
"You left my wife at the station alone when you knew she wasn't ok and that she was weak and still pushing herself and didn't even think to have someone check on her?" Carina asked, now allowing herself to get angry, "What time was this call?"
"We got called out around 4," Vic said.
"Ok, so from 4 until I found her at 7, my wife was alone, and most likely, injured that entire time and no one did a damn thing to help her? I…out. All of you out of my office now. I can't do this right now."
"Carina I…" Andy started, but Carina held up her hand.
"No," she said, "What's done is done and right now, I want you all out of my office. You all stood by for months while she was ridiculed and treated worse than a probie by your captain and you did nothing. No one stood up for her, no one checked on her. And now, I find out that because of that same captain, my wife was injured and alone for hours because again, not one single one of you stood up to him and checked on her. This room is for my family and right now, none of you are a part of that. Now get out."
Every member of 19 shuffled out of the office, Carina feeling tears fill her eyes as the door closed. She walked over to the wall, sliding down it, wanting nothing too soft. She was angry and sad and confused and she just wanted all of it to stop.
She tucked her knees up against her chest, trying to make herself as small as possible, as if she could shrink herself down enough that she could just disappear and go someplace where her wife was happy and healthy and they were able to raise their baby in peace. She didn't know how long she sat there, but there was a knock at the door at some point.
"Go away," she said, almost throwing her shoe when the door opened only to see Jo coming in with a brown paper bag.
"So Link texted and told me that it was Maya," Jo said, "So I got someone to watch the kids and then I went and picked up some soup and came here. I hope that's ok?"
Carina nodded, setting her shoe back down but not moving from her spot on the floor.
"Why are you sitting on the floor?" Jo asked, her voice free from judgment.
"The couch is too soft," Carina sighed, "After Andrea…soft things make me want to cry and I don't have the energy to cry right now. So the floor."
"That can't be comfortable," Jo said, "Especially with the baby."
"You know?" Carina asked, confused, "How?"
"Carina, you didn't drink your champagne tonight," Jo said, "Plus, one of the nurses asked me if you were alright early and mentioned you getting sick? I may have only been in OB for two years, but I am picking up your gift."
Carina smiled a little at this as Jo walked over to her. "Can I sit?" the younger woman asked. Carina nodded with a sigh.
"I'm so frustrated," Carina said, starting straight ahead, Jo staying quiet and giving her the space she needed to talk, "I am frustrated at my wife for running and not taking care of herself and for not caring about me or our family lately which I know sounds bad because she is in surgery with serious injuries and I am frustrated at her team for letting her get kicked around and not standing up for her and not having anyone check on her when she didn't come on their call and I am frustrated at myself for being frustrated and also for not doing something more to get her the help she needed and I am just…so tired of all of this. I just want my healthy wife back because I don't want to have to raise this baby alone."
With that, Carina broke down into full blown sobs, Jo immediately moving to wrap her arms around her.
"It's gonna be ok Carina," Jo said, rubbing her back.
"But how?" Carina sobbed, "If…if something happens to Maya, that's it. I am completely alone. This baby and I are alone."
"You are not alone," Jo said, shaking her head, "You have me. And you have Bailey. And Amelia and Teddy and everyone else in the OB department, and I know it's not the same as having your wife, trust me, but we've all got you, and this little one. You aren't going to be alone. And Maya has the best team working on her. She is going to be ok."
"She wasn't ok before this though," Carina sighed, wiping her eyes, "She has been mentally unwell for…months at least and it just keeps getting worse and now it has landed her here."
"She…She did this to herself?" Jo asked, almost afraid to ask, "I figured it happened on a call."
"No," Carina said, shaking her head, "I found her down in the gym at the station. Andy said she was going for another run which she had been doing multiple times a day, and I think she fell somehow. I mean, she also has rhabdo and she was trying to run so her muscles were nowhere near ok. I don't know what happened, and I doubt it was her intention to get hurt, but she has had a sprained ankle since Halloween and she hasn't stopped using it. I don't have any idea how she fell, but with her injuries, there is no way it was just her passing out or tripping. It's almost feels like she wanted to hurt herself which scares me. I don't know. I just know she is very much not ok."
"Oh Carina," Jo said, having not realized that her boss and friend had been carrying this around on top of everything else that they were dealing with at workday in and day out and her struggle to conceive as well.
It made her feel a little bit guilty for complaining about Luna's clothing situation all day, but she pushed that aside for now as she comforted her friend. She just sat there with her, giving Carina whatever space she needed until they heard another knock at the door and in walked Amelia, Link, and Bailey as Jo and Carina stood.
"She's out of surgery," Bailey said, "And she's stable."
"I evacuated the bleed and placed an ICP monitor," Amelia said, "Her skull fracture is pretty big, but there was no depression so it should just heal on its own."
"Her clavicle and shoulder both have some new hardware," Link said, "It should heal up just fine, but it is going to be a while before she will be able to use that arm. She must have fallen really hard."
"Her CK is still rising, but we have her on a lot of fluids so that should help," Bailey said, "She's going to be in pain through, for the next few days and probably need PT to get her back to where she was."
"Can I see her?" Carina asked, wiping her eyes.
"She's in the PACU right now," Bailey said, "But I think it would be ok."
"Is she going to wake up?" Carina asked. "I want to keep her sedated though tonight," Amelia said, just to monitor her ICP and make sure she is stable. We can try waking her up tomorrow."
"Ok," Carina nodded, "Grazie. I know being here this late was probably not what any of you planned but thank you."
"Hey, it's not like I have a home to go back to right now," Amelia said, jokingly.
"Oh my god, I am so sorry," Carina said, having not even stopped to think about the fact that her friend's house had been on fire tonight, "Um, if you want, you can go stay at our place. We aren't going to be there tonight and…"
"Carina it's ok," Amelia said, "Maggie and Winston have a place that isn't ideal, but we can all stay there until we figure out what to do next."
"Do you want me to stay Carina?" Jo asked, looking at her friend, "I mean, Link is going to go home to the kids so I can if you need me too."
"No," Carina said, "I think I will be ok. Thank you though. And thank you for coming."
"Like I said, we've got you," Jo said, placing a hand on her shoulder with a gentle squeeze, "No matter what, I've got all of you."
Carina nodded, offering as much of a smile as she could before turning to follow Bailey.
"I thought Ben said 19 was coming," Bailey said, a bit confused as to where everyone was.
"I kicked them out," Carina said.
"Why?" Bailey asked, knowing her husband's team could be loud at times, but they were usually respectful when it came to these kinds of situations.
"They left her," Carina said, trying not to start crying, "They noticed she didn't come with them on the call and they left her, just like they have left her to deal with Beckett's torture alone for the past seven and a half months just like they left her alone when she was demoted just like they left her alone when she was captain. I know my wife is very challenging to get to know and to love, but she loves the people at that station and would die for any one of them and all they do is treat her like crap so I kicked the out because I don't have the emotional bandwidth to deal with my feelings about my injured, mentally unwell wife and our growing family that I don't even know if she wants to be a part of anymore on top of dealing with my anger towards them so I kicked them out."
Carina's face was stoic as she just stared straight ahead, Bailey deciding not to say anything but making a note to go give her husband and his team a piece of her mind after she made sure Carina was ok. They walked into the PACU, Bailey leading Carina over to where Maya was.
"She should be moved to the ICU soon," Bailey said, "But she's going to be out all night. Maybe you should go home and try to get some rest?"
"No," Carina said, shaking her head, "She was alone on the floor of that station for god knows how long. I am not about to leave her alone again. Not unless she tells me to."
"I understand," Bailey nodded, "Can I get you anything?"
"No, I'm ok," Carina said, trying not to start sobbing when she saw the bandages wrapped around her wife's head and arm.
Bailey decided to give her some space, going to look for her husband and his team, knowing that they would likely still be in the hospital and if they weren't they were going to get an even bigger piece of her mind down at the station.
Carina walked around to Maya's relatively uninjured right arm, picking up her hand.
"I'm here Bambina," Carina said, pressing a kiss to it, "I am not going anywhere, neither of us are."
Carina took her wife's hand and rested it on her stomach, setting her own on top of it to hold it in place.
"Our baby is growing in there," Carina said, tears streaming down her cheeks, "And their mamma could really use their mommy right now so you have to be ok, alright Bambina? For me? For us? We are cheering for you and we are right here for you ok? Please just make sure you come back to us."
What did you think? I truly never thought we would see Maya injured in any way, let alone as big of an injury as she clearly got last night. To say I was surprised and slightly excited is an understatement. Also, I should say, I don't actually think this is how finding Maya is going to go down, but I would love it if it did.
Before anyone asks, I am pretty sure I am not going to write a part 2. I may change my mind as this hiatus progresses, but for now (and probably for always) this is staying a one-shot. Maya's recovery is going to be hell and I don't know that I want to write it at this point. If you want to see Maya recover from horrible injuries that are not at all related to this season or current canon, feel free to go read my story The Accident where I dive into that a lot. Thanks for reading. Let me know your thoughts if you want to.
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