This is the last part to my first FMA story.  Forgive me for the delay.  I've been busy with school.  I will write more stories if I get any ideas. 

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Lessons for Alchemists

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Part 4: 

In Which Roy Learns a Valuable Lesson

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Three days later

            Roy leaned up against the lamppost waiting for the first date he had had since Fullmetal had come back three days ago.

            Humph, thought Roy with a slight frown marring his handsome face, this time Fullmetal created enough paperwork to choke a horse.

            But then a smile crept onto his face as he continued to think, however, he did seem rather anxious to leave.

            "ROY MUSTANG!!!!!" a screamed perturbed female voice.

            Roy nearly jumped out of boots for women do not scream at him, at least not in the street (now in the bed is another story).

            Veronica, yes, that was her name, he had been on a date with her about a week ago, came stomping up to him.

            "SO, I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?" she screamed and slapped him hard on the face, and then she turned on a heel and marched off.

            Roy stood stock still holding his red check with a gloved hand. 

            "What was that about?" he murmured.

            "I'll tell you what that was about!  You are a two timing swine," he heard spoken angrily behind him.

            He turned to see his date from five days ago.

            "You said that I was the only girl for you," and she slapped him hard on the other check.

            His date for the night, Melissa, seemed to appear out of thin air on his right.

            "You've been dating more than one woman at the same time?  Well, we've had enough.  You are never going to get another date in this town, again, mister."

            Both women turned as one and walked off in clouds of womanly fury.

            Roy stood there alone under the lamp wondering what had hit him, figuratively and literally.

            While trying to figure out what was going on, Roy did not really hear the very happy and bouncy male voice approaching from behind him, "Roy, darling, you sly old military dog."

            However, he remained consciously unaware of the approaching figure until he was tackled to the ground by a flying glomp².

            Twisting and turning in an effort to free himself from the friendly but aggressive advances of his attacker he snapped, "Who are you?  GET OFF ME!"

            When Roy finally managed to work his way, sufficiently, out of the embraces of his 'attacker' he found himself looking into the face of the city's most open gay man.

            Because the colonel had been rather preoccupied for the past few minutes, he had failed to notice the flash of a camera.

            This lack of attention would prove to be very embarrassing and infuriating because the person behind the camera was none other than Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist.

            Through the course of events, Edward had been struggling to keep from laughing aloud or saying anything but after watching the Flame Alchemist struggle with the friendly advances he had to speak up.

            "Good evening, colonel," Edward said with a grin growing on his face, "since I was not aware of your preferences until a few weeks ago, I felt I had to make it up to you," he said with the grin now threatening to split his face.

            "I'm afraid I don't swing that way, so, I have set you up with another like minded individual," turning and waving good bye Edward threw back a few more words, "once again, have a good evening.  Oh, and you won't have to worry about having those women chasing after you anymore or thinking of you as a two timing swine only.  As of tomorrow, all will have been dually told your preferences."

            "FULLMETAL!" Roy yelled at Edward's retreating back unable to do much else because he was once again entrapped within friendly embraces.

            Now, Edward would not have been so calm about leaving like that but he was leaving town because he had a tip about the Philosopher's Stone.

            I just need to drop this film off, Edward thought maliciously, and by the time I'm back in town these photos will be all over the place.

            The only other question that remains to be answered is whether Roy Mustang will ever get a date with a woman in this city again.

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Moral of the story:  Roy Mustang should not even pretend to hit on the Fullmetal Alchemist, Fullmetal can't take the joke.

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            ² I recommend reading Glomping 101 by Shimegami-chan.

            I wasn't sure what Ed was planning until I wrote this chapter.  Then he let me into his master plan.  He won't let me see the rest of his ideas.  He tells me that he is saving them.

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Disclaimer:  Doesn't belong to me.