Ranma: WHAT? ARE YOU KIDDING ME…(long pause)…HAHAHAHAHA…!
Toutousai: ( talking to himself) Is something funny?
Meanwhile in the Tendo Residence, a road weary Ryoga who's been to Germany, France and Hong Kong finally reaches to the gates.
Ryoga: HEY! Open up! Open up! Ranma and Akane are in trouble!
The door pops open and it's the whole gang in their nightgowns.
Ryoga: Oh…. Is it early?
He's hit with a frying pan… Inside the dojo, Ryoga explains what happened to Soun, Genma, Nibiki, and Kasumi.
Ryoga: We have to help them quick! Hurry before it's too late, Akane might be hurt.
Soun: Ryoga, do you know how many days they've been missing?
Ryoga: Whadda mean missing, I just saw them 15 minutes ago!
Genma: Boy, they've been missing for three whole days!!!
Ryoga: Oh….hehehe….
Nibiki: My God, he couldn't even find water if he was in the middle of the ocean.
Kasumi: I just hope Ranma and Akane don't catch a cold.
Nibiki: Or maybe they got hitched.
Soun: Now, now… so you say a white dog captured Akane?
"Who captured Akane?"
A small wrinkly old man appears, yet he still walks with a bounce as he slams a bag of panties on the ground.
Happosai: You would've thought Ranma would be a better man to protect her. A true man protects his women and always accepts his responsibilities. What a sorry bunch this generation is, I tell ya.
Ryoga: I'm sure it was a giant white dog. Ranma chased after it and they all disappeared down a well.
Genma: This doesn't make any sense. Who would know any of this?
Happosai suddenly gives the expression of a thief that has been caught. He glances rapidly at all exits.
Happosai: (yawning)….Well lookie here at the time…better go to sleep….
Soun: Master, is there something you know that you should tell us?
Happosai: Well I…oh to hell with it… gotta go!
The old man begins to bounce like a swift ninja heading towards the exit.
Genma: Stop him! He's getting away!
Soun slams the door shut. Genma attempts a tackle but misses. Ryoga throws several punches but they all hit air. Happosai begins to pull out his trademark bomb.
Happosai: So long, suckers!
Before he can throw the bomb, a jet of water knocks off the flame and a broom comes crashing down his head knocking him out. Nibiki starts sweeping his body to the men while Kasumi smiles holding the water sprayer in her hand.
Kasumi: I love water gun fights.
Several minutes later, Happosai regains consciousness, bound by several feet of thick rope.
Happosai: Hey, what's the meaning of all this!
Soun: Master, you must know something…Please…
Happosai: I know nothing! Lemme go! Lemme go!
Genma: Ah, he's not gonna talk. I say we torture him!
Happosai: You can break my bones but I'll never tell! I have pride made of steel, ya know!
Genma: Guess you won't be needing these panties anymore (bouncing the ball of panties on top of Happosai's head).
Happosai: NO! Anything, anything you want! I'll tell! I'll tell!
Soun: Does that white dog kidnapping Akane and the well have any connection with you?
Happosai: Well…you boys better sit tight because this is gonna be a long story.
After several grueling hours of stories, Happosai talks about falling into earth's Jusenkyo cursed ponds, and found that a cure existed on another world. He stole the Six -Tails Phoenix Mirror from Cologne's village because it was powerful enough to transport him to the world of the you-kai. He talked about the hideous monsters, the endless battles, and the close calls.
Happosai: Even worst, there weren't any good panties. Now that was scary.
Ryoga, Genma, and Soun are terrified.
Soun: So….So….So…. why are those monsters kidnapping Akane?
Happosai: Oh…before I left that world, I stole some kind of fancy jewelry that was vital to their world or something. Thought it would look real neat with my marbles.
Soun: Master…. What were you saying earlier about accepting responsibilities?
Happosai: Hey, hey, so I might cause world destruction, but at least I would have had one hell of a set of marbles.
Genma: So where's the jewelry now, master?
Happosai: Well it got stolen from me… I suppose.
Ryoga: Whutdayamean suppose?
Happosai: Well, you see some evil guy with a spider tattoo on his back wanted that jewelry to rule the world. So I blasted him with a bomb and ran off with it. Then, some chick totally stole it from me.
Soun: Master…(with angry)
Happosai: Okay, okay, some sorceress priest beat the living crap out of me and I handed her all my marbles and the jewelry. Name was Kiki or something like that.
Genma: Wait a minute! If that woman has the jewelry, why would they be coming after you?
Happosai: Well… you see… I'd broken the Phoenix Mirror and Cologne wasn't too happy. We were basically stuck together for awhile. The man I blasted with the bomb promised to give me a map back to our world if only I promised…to give him one of my students in the future.
Everyone: What?
Happosai: Well, I agreed believing I would never see him again. He was in such a pathetic state, you know. I was hoping he might forget and all. Welllll, I guess he didn't, but now that he has Ranma, I've fulfilled my end of the bargain…Yup, I guess it's all a happy ending now.
Soun: Happy ending…my foot!
Happosai is blasted out of the house and into the night sky, screaming as he flies across the night sky.
Genma: Come on, boys! We gotta save my poor kid! Whose gonna be my meal ticket if he dies!? Waaaaaaaaaaa…
Nibiki: You know… maybe you should find Cologne. That might be more useful than sitting here and waiting for Happosai to help out.
All three men: Hmmmm……
Genma: I got an idea! How about if we ask Cologne? It might be more useful than sitting here and waiting for Happosai to help out!
Soun and Ryoga: Perfect idea!
Nibiki: Why do I bother?
Meanwhile…
Toutousai: He's been laughing and rolling on the ground for fifteen minutes!
Ranma: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Inuyasha: Hey, what's wrong with you? Get up! We're going!
Ranma finally stops laughing and stands up, but his face still holding back the laughter and tears.
Ranma: Okay, okay… I need someone to pinch me.
Inuyasha throws a wicked punch than lands on the side of his head.
Ranma: Whatcha do that for? I said pinch me, not punch!
Inu: Well I'm guessing you wanted to know if this was a dream or not, so why not be extra sure about it?
Ranma: Apparently, not only do you look like a dog, smell like a dog, and have fleas like a dog, you have a brain like one, too!
Inu: OOOHHHH, good one! How about saying that again with my foot up your-
Kagome: Sit!
Inuyasha's body pummels into the ground again.
Ranma: Whu-pussssh (making hand gesture of a whip).
Kagome: Okay, so we have some information now. I think it's better if we split up for now. Ranma and I will head off in search of Akane. The rest of you head off to the next village since the people have requested our help.
Inu: NO WAY, BACA! You trust this girly boy? Even so, he's not going to protect you!
Ranma: (Holding Kagome's hand) With all my strength, I will protect her as a man's honor not doggy pride.
Kagome blushes. Inu burns inside.
Inu: Well, I'm not gonna let some flirt take care of you. I'm coming with you, guys.
Miroku: Don't worry about us, Kagome. Sango, Shippo and I can all handle the situation. Once we take care of the problem, we'll meet up with you.
Kagome: Well then it's settled. If my senses tell me that I'm correct, we'll have to find Jusenkyo in order to find Akane, so let's not waste any time. We're off!
Inu: Wait! How do you know the faggot's girlfriend will be at Jusenkyo?
Kagome: [angry] It's called women's intuition, baca.
Ranma: Don't get angry, Kagome. You're too cute for that.
She blushes again.
The parties share farewells as one group leaves to the next village and the other consisting of the two ego maniacs and Kagome go in search of Jusenkyo with the map Toutousai drew for them from his poor recollection.
Ranma is offered a seat behind Kagome on his bike which he accepts, smirking to Inuyasha as he hops on.
Inuyasha: Oh look at him, so playful and crap… hmmmmm…maybe I should try this sensitive thing… maybe I'll play his game and get Kagome back…maybe.
In the distance, perching above a high branch in a tree, a shadow observes the team's movement, carrying on its shoulders what seems to be a young teenage girl.
"There are only two guarantees in life… survival and death! The game has started!"