Chapter 7 – Revelations
The next few weeks passed mainly without incident. Tonks visited regularly, giving him information. However, when Mrs.Weasley found out about Ginny's visit, she put her foot down and said it was much too dangerous. Harry had been in stitches over Tonks description of Mrs.Weasley yelling at her for being so irresponsible as to take Ginny away from Grimmuald Place. Harry also suspected that Tonks was offering to do guard duty more often so he wasn't alone, and for this, he was grateful.
He had been very anxious to find out what Voldemort was up to, but it turned out that Tonks hadn't been able to tell him much he didn't already know. Nearly all the information the Order had, Harry found out during his dreams, which had been increasing in frequency. Near the end of July, it had gotten to the point where Harry woke up screaming almost every night. He was immensely glad for the Silencing Charms Tonks had put up.
Still, Harry was worried. These attacks didn't seem to be random since Voldemort had been present for them. However, none of the Order had been able to get any information. Needing to work off his nervous energy somehow, Harry started to train. Since he was unable to use magic, he began learning Muggle Martial Arts. He knew many Wizards were unable to fight physically, so he figured this would be an advantage. He found his library had many books on Muggle Defence.
The most interesting thing about these few weeks however, was the Diary. Harry and Lily talked very often. After reading about magical items sucking life force out of you, Harry started to trust the Diary. It had never tried to take his energy, and many things had lead him to believe that only a mother could be this concerned and love him so much. He also read about the enchantment she had used on the Diary, and found it was true, so only a blood relation could have cast the spell. The fact that it had turned bright blue showed that it was either a parent or a brother or sister.
Lily told Harry all about her time at Hogwarts. She even showed him a couple of her favourite memories. He found out about her two best friends, Abby and Kat. Realizing he knew nearly nothing about his mother, he listened raptly to all her stories. It turned out that both Abby and Kat had been killed during a Death Eater raid, which Lily had barely escaped with her life. This had been a year before Harry's birth, and Lily still felt guilty about not being able to help her friends.
The closeness that Lily, Abby and Kat shared reminded Harry painfully of his friendship with Ron and Hermione before they had started dating. Reading about their trials and adventures, he wondered why no one had ever really told him about his mother. After she finished her stories about Hogwarts, she told him about the few brief years she and James had together.
James had been an Unspeakable, and was often away on missions. She showed Harry many of her memories from when he had been a child, and he had wondered where James was. He saw Sirius around more than he saw James. His favourite memory was a time when he had been barely a year old, and Lily was rocking him to sleep singing a lullaby. She had a beautiful voice and watched him with such love that he wished he was that baby again. He wished he had her to sing to him and comfort him as he grew up since his aunt and uncle certainly never did.
When Harry had mentioned that he lived with Petunia and Vernon, Lily had been extremely upset. She had demanded to know why Sirius wasn't taking care of him, and whether he was still being irresponsible. When Harry asked Lily why she thought Sirius would be irresponsible she became very nervous. Finally, she told him.
***Flashback!***
~Harry...if I tell you something will you promise not to judge me until I've finished the entire thing?~
~Sure, Mum...~ Harry replied nervously. Why did she think he would judge her?
~Harry, sweetie, you have to understand. I loved James with all my heart, but he was nearly never home.~ Harry waited for her to continue, but no more writing appeared.
~I know, Mum. Everyone always tells me that you loved each other.~
~Well, we both wanted a child so badly. It probably wasn't the best time to bring a child into this world, but we couldn't put off our happiness because of the war. Who knew how long it would last? A child would be like a light in these dark times. I was a Charms Specialist, so it was possible for me to work from home, and it wouldn't be a danger to have a child. I would be able to contribute to the war effort, and still have my baby.~
~So you did want me then?~ Harry had always wanted to know. He knew his parents loved him, but he had never been sure if they had wanted him. They were in the middle of a war, and maybe they just thought he was in the way.
~Oh yes, Bambi! I definitely wanted you.~ Harry noticed his mother said 'I' instead of 'We', but didn't ask about that. He waited for her to continue. ~When I was 15, and Petunia was 19, she had a baby. She was the most beautiful baby girl, with dark brown hair, and bright blue eyes. I never knew who the father was, but I'm sure it wasn't Vernon. I think it was a wizard though.~
~How would you know?~ asked Harry curiously.
~I'm not sure. When the baby hadn't been born yet, it had a certain feeling to it that muggle babies don't have. Only witches can feel it, but I think I was feeling its magical powers. I suppose it could be muggle- born but it was just a feeling I had.
When I came home for the summer after 5th year, Petunia hated this child. She was barely 6 months old when she first performed magic. Most babies don't show signs of magic until they are at least a year, and even 3 or 4 years isn't unusual. But you, my dear, performed your first magic, at 2 days less than 6 months. And you managed to hit Peter over the head with a wooden block.~
Harry laughed. He was glad that had been his first sign of magic. ~Good,~ he told her. ~The bastard deserves it!~
~Harry!~ she scolded. ~Don't use that type of language. Anyway, two things can cause early signs of magic. Great power, or great need. You were in that first category, I think. Unless of course, you needed to hit Peter or die.~ Harry could see the sarcasm in her voice.
~But Violet was in the second category. Petunia didn't exactly take good care of her, but since she lived with my mother, Mum usually took care of her. But once, when my Mum and Dad were away for the weekend, Petunia forgot about her. The poor baby was so hungry she summoned a bottle. Since Petunia had no milk in any bottle, Violet only got an empty bottle, but Petunia saw this she freaked out. She called my mother screaming, so both my parents flew home that day. Petunia already hated Violet for 'ruining her life' as she called it, but now she hated her even more.~
~Uh...Wasn't it Aunt Petunia, who ruined her life? I mean the child didn't exactly have a choice.~
~Harry,~ wrote an exasperated Lily, ~I thought you lived with Petunia. You should know that she isn't exactly rational.~
~Right,~ wrote Harry, feeling a little silly. Of course he knew Petunia wasn't rational. She had locked him in his room for eating! Come to think of it, he hadn't had any meals since he got here. He just hadn't noticed because the trunk had a kitchen.
~Anyway, my parents were quite pleased. They didn't hate magic, and were very proud of me when I got my letter. They thought it would be easier for Violet because I was already in the magical world.
They forced Petunia to keep looking after it, in an attempt to teach her responsibility. One of them were always around, making sure that Violet hadn't been neglected. When I came home, I fell in love with her. She was the sweetest little baby. Although when you came along, she lost her spot. You were just as sweet.
My parents asked me to take care of her for the summer, because they just couldn't keep getting up every night when my sister wouldn't. So I did. And after that, I would come home for every holiday to see her, to take care of her and just to play with her. But ever since then, I've wanted my own child, not one I had to leave after a few weeks or months.~
~So where is Violet? Shouldn't she have still been living at home when I first got here? Was she that much older than me?~ His aunt had a daughter. That certainly was a surprise!
~She's would be 5 years older than you. And I don't know where she is. My mother and father died in an attack during my seventh year. I went back to Hogwarts after the funeral, and when I came back Violet was gone. Petunia refused to tell me anything about her. I left soon afterwards and rarely spoke to her. I think she was put up for adoption. Even Petunia couldn't be cruel enough to just abandon a child. Although if Petunia had given her to me, I would have happily adopted her.~
~So you've never seen Violet since?~ asked Harry curiously.
~No. I looked for her, asking at all orphanages nearby, but I never found her. I had planned to start searching again after we could come out of hiding, but I guess I never did.~
So Petunia had just gotten rid of her daughter. Harry now had no doubt that if it hadn't been for Dumbledore, he would be currently in an orphanage. ~Uh...Mum,~ he asked cautiously, ~Why would this make me judge you? You didn't exactly do anything other than love your sister's child. Which is more than she did.~
~Right, sorry. I went off on a tangent. You see, Harry, before I became pregnant with you, I had two miscarriages. The Wiarding World has wonderful medical technology, but they can't prevent miscarriages. The first time, James was home and he comforted me. He was upset as well, but nothing can compare to the feeling of your child being ripped out of your body. I thought James would hate me. I know it wasn't very rational, but I was so upset.~ The writing started to shake, and the page became damp. Harry realized how much this had affected his mother.
~But he didn't. He was so kind, and supportive, and even took 3 days off work. Finally, with James help, I returned to normal. I was able to work again, and I slowly started feeling happier. About 4 months after this first miscarriage, I became pregnant again. I was so happy. I did everything I possible could to protect this baby. But again, about a month into this pregnancy, I miscarried. James wasn't home this time. I felt horrible. This was the second time.
What if this was because I was a horrible mother? I couldn't even carry a baby to term. You wouldn't understand now Harry, and I hope you never do. But even later, you won't know how distressing it is. You're not the one whose body is rejecting a baby.
I stayed home all week and just cried. My boss understood and when I told her, she gave me a week off. But by the end of the week, I was still so sad and alone.
Sirius came over that night, to see James. Sirius hadn't known that James was gone, since this was a top-secret mission, James couldn't risk sending him an owl. Instead, Sirius found me sobbing on the couch. He tried to comfort me, but he just wasn't very good at that. Anything he said would start me crying again.~
Harry watched as the shaky letters flew across the page. The writing was hurried, and the pages were wet.
~I think he had been drinking that night, because he kissed me.~ Harry stared at the page in shock. Sirius KISSED his mother?
~I tried to stop him. I really did! Please believe me Harry! But he kissed me again, and I didn't stop him. I wanted so much for someone to hold me, and love me that I didn't care what I was doing. I knew it was wrong, but I needed someone to love me.~ Tears were streaming down the page, blurring the words, but Harry still understood them. 'Please don't let this be going where I think it is,' he thought.
~We slept together that night. Sirius left before I woke up. I was even more upset than I had been before. I had betrayed James. I had lost TWO of his children, and now this. I knew he would hate me, but I had to tell him. But scarcely a week later, I found out I was pregnant again.~
Harry's mind reeled. SIRIUS was his father? He had never expected THIS. What was he supposed to do? Had James known? Then something else hit him. Did Sirius know??
As if reading his thoughts, Lily continued. ~I went to Sirius' the same day I found out. He would barely look at me, and implied more than once that he thought it had been my fault. I know I'm not entirely blameless, but it wasn't all me! When I finally got around to telling him about my pregnancy, he became almost violent. He said it must have been someone else's. Finally, when he realized it was his, he told me to get rid of it. Get RID OF IT. As if I would. I had wanted a child so much, that I would never abort one. I told him I wouldn't, and he informed me that James would hate me if I told him about the baby not being his. Finally, just before I left, he told me that he loved me. That he had loved me since Hogwarts, but didn't do anything about it because I was dating James. He told me he had slept with so many red-haired women wishing they were me. He apologized about not being able to accept the baby as his child, but he couldn't do that to James. I just didn't know what to think. I later found out that he was also the father of my friend Kat's child. And that he denied that as well. I was alright because I had a husband and wanted a child, but Kat didn't. I couldn't believe he would do that to her.~
Harry's entire world came crumbling down in an instant. Sirius was his father. Sirius hadn't grown out of his git-phase, and had just left his mother and her best friend pregnant. What did he even look like? If James wasn't his father, he probably wouldn't look like him.
Tentatively, he asked, ~Mum, did you ever tell Dad?~
~Yes, Harry, I told James. He was furious, and I thought he might leave, but he didn't. He calmed down and told me he would support the baby and me anyway. I don't think Sirius ever knew that James knew. They stayed friends. I cast a charm on you just before we left the hospital, so you looked like James instead of Sirius. I will wear off around your 17th birthday. You may have noticed changes already. Both Sirius and James loved you Harry. James asked him to be your Godfather, and he accepted, so that must mean something. He does love you even if he is a complete bastard.~
Harry just stared at the book in shock. What. The. Hell?
~Please, Harry. Please don't hate me. I can understand why you would, but please. I do love you, so much.~ The words were nearly washed away by the torrent of tears that followed.
~Mum...I...I...Don't hate you. I'm just shocked. Sirius never told me this. How much more are they keeping from me? But I don't hate you. You're only human, and I know what it feels like to be so scared and lonely. Maybe not the same way as you, but I do know.~
***End Flashback***
That had been the most intense conversation he'd ever had with his mother. He still was unsure as to what to do, but he had begun to accept it. He had already begun to change back to his original form. He doubted anyone would notice, since he still had his green eyes, and black hair. But his face was slightly different. His nose was slightly longer, and his mouth fuller. His cheekbones were higher as well. He had grown another inch, leaving him at 5'10".
Finally, four days before his birthday, Petunia unlocked Harry's door. He wondered if she thought he was dead, since he hadn't been fed in a few weeks.
"You!" she snapped. "Get downstairs and weed the garden. It's become quite a sight. What would the neighbours think?"
"Alright, alright," sighed Harry, moving towards the door. He went outside and began to weed. Soon, Dudley and his gang came by. Upon seeing Harry outside they began to make fun of him. One even kicked him. "Four more days, four more days," he repeated to himself. Unfortunately, Dudley noticed.
"AWW, look at the freak sitting there talking to himself." Harry just rolled his eyes. Eventually they left.
Soon it got dark, and Harry went inside. His uncle sneered at him as he tried to go upstairs. "Aren't you hungry boy? Come and eat something." Surprised, and slightly suspicious, Harry followed his uncle into the kitchen. When he reached the kitchen, he understood. On three plates stood roast beef, mashed potatoes, peas, carrots, and fresh bread. A fourth held a white jelly-like substance. 'Ooh, I wonder which is mine,' he thought sarcastically. 'Damn, I'm getting way too cynical.'
After eating his dinner, which he still couldn't identify, he trudged back up to his room. Picking up the diary, he decided to ask his mother about the last compartment on the trunk.
~Hi Mum.~
~Hello dear! How are you?~
~Hungry. I'll cook some food in a minute. But what I wanted to ask you was how to use the last compartment of the trunk.~
~Oh, yes, of course. You put your finger over the keyhole, and think about the speed that you want time to go. Try it a couple times and you'll get the hang of it. Also, if you want it to act like a normal trunk, put your finger on the hole and say 'trunk'. Make sure you NEVER jump in when it's all black. That means a time hasn't been selected yet. Once you're inside, and want to get out, there'll be a blue handpad where you place your entire palm, like in those Muggle high-security facilities. It will transport you out. To take someone else, make sure you're touching them when you go in, and out. All the other compartments are connected to this one, so you'll end up in the sitting room of your apartment. There are doors leading to all the other compartments.~
~Wow. Okay can I try it now?~
~Sure! But make time go slower than normal. You wouldn't want to go in, and find out 3 months has passed would you? Just slow time down a little. To maybe a minute in there is a second out here. Go in for 10 or 20 minutes, and when you get out, only 10 or 20 seconds should have passed.~
~Alright. Hang on a second.~
Harry walked over to the trunk and opened it as his mother had said. 'One minute to one second,' he thought. Sure enough, the trunk opened and he saw his sitting room inside. Before he went inside, he checked the time. 7:32. Climbing in, the trunk lid shut behind him. Picking up a book on Transfiguration, he started to read. Not really feeling like reading, he glanced at the clock. 15 minutes had gone by. He walked to the wall and stuck his hand on the blue pad. Instantly, he felt himself being transported back to his bedroom. Looking at the clock out here, he noticed it still said 7:32.
Feeling very tired for some reason, Harry got into bed. He thought of sleeping in the slow-time, but decided he wanted to get out of here, so sleeping in there would keep him here longer. He could speed time up, but then his aunt wouldn't be able to find him. Satisfied with his logic, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. However, just before sleep claimed him, he realized he still hadn't eaten anything.
***************************************************
A/N: Yay another chapter! I meant to have him leave the Dursleys this chapter, but I guess that'll have to wait til the next one. So, what'd you think of what Lily told Harry? It won't exactly be vital to the storyline, but it will affect Harry. I can't really explain because it'd give too much away. And not to worry, Violet won't be an Mary-Sue. She won't be in this story at all really. Maybe a mention or two. I didn't kill her, because I couldn't kill another baby. And she might prove useful to me in a 7th year sequel if I decide to write one.
Thanks to my reviewers!
athenakitty – Yes, Harry will be slightly pissed at Dumbledore. He already is. He's not exactly at another location, but his dream self is. He was still at Privet drive. He will learn to apparate, but not til after he goes to Grummald Place, and after his birthday. No, the Dursleys will not die. Well I suppose Dudley may have a heart attack, it's inevitable, but no, it won't be in the story.
fiddy – This story includes book 5, EXCEPT for Sirius dying. I told you before the prologue that Neville died instead. I'm glad you like it!
Silvercrystal77 – Nope, the diary is all good. I tried to tell him that in as many ways as possible. I know it's still possible for it to be evil, but I just wanted him to be able to talk to his mother. Thank you, thank you!
Fiery Pheonix – hahah, Apartment compartment made me laugh every time I typed it. But yeah its SO cool. Yup, I figured Ginny might go psycho and try to rip it up or something. Didn't want to deal with that yet. Ron and Hermione keep running away to snog every time I try to include them. Poor Harry.
Lady FP of the Rings – Thanks! Yeah, I just love Lily. I tried to make her loving but sarcastic.
Ms.Marvel – YAY! I'm glad you like! WHEE I'm in favs!!!
Fan-Of-HP – Thanks! I'm glad you like it!
Comet Moon – Yeah, he is going to do some major training. Ginny, well she might not. Yet anyway. Some things might get in the way.
Vicous Pixie – Yes, poor baby. His name was Dylan. Thanks you!
dementorchic – He could do essays in there (and he undoubtedly will) but that's not the main reason for it!
BabyBlu4 – Yes, the movie said he was a seeker, but JKR said he was a Chaser in an interview, so I'm going with that. I wanted to show differences between the two. Thank you very much!
Annison Crane – Hehe, sleazy Dumbledore. I don't really like Dumbledore. From the first book, I wondered why everyone trusted him and never questioned him. He's made so many mistakes, and he's SO controlling. Thank you!
Eris, Queen of the Shadows – Thanks! Yeah, I figured everyone needed a mother around, and Petunia doesn't really fill in very well. And she needed to tell him things!
Cobalt45 – Thanks! I don't think he will completely loose Harry's trust in the books, but Harry's quite naïve there. I made him more cynical here. And plus, I don't like Luna. No offence to people who do, because she's a great character, but she annoyed me. I like him with Ginny because she's survived Voldemort too. And she was kidnapped by him in my story.
ElvishGirl18 – heh, they will fall in love, but not a couple more chapters. We gotta have jealous Ginny first. She say's she's 'over' him doesn't she? Even if her actions don't!
dolphingirl79 – I hate Harry being kept in the dark too. It makes him do stupid things. Thank you!
Thanks again to everyone who reviewed. I hope you like this chapter!!
The next few weeks passed mainly without incident. Tonks visited regularly, giving him information. However, when Mrs.Weasley found out about Ginny's visit, she put her foot down and said it was much too dangerous. Harry had been in stitches over Tonks description of Mrs.Weasley yelling at her for being so irresponsible as to take Ginny away from Grimmuald Place. Harry also suspected that Tonks was offering to do guard duty more often so he wasn't alone, and for this, he was grateful.
He had been very anxious to find out what Voldemort was up to, but it turned out that Tonks hadn't been able to tell him much he didn't already know. Nearly all the information the Order had, Harry found out during his dreams, which had been increasing in frequency. Near the end of July, it had gotten to the point where Harry woke up screaming almost every night. He was immensely glad for the Silencing Charms Tonks had put up.
Still, Harry was worried. These attacks didn't seem to be random since Voldemort had been present for them. However, none of the Order had been able to get any information. Needing to work off his nervous energy somehow, Harry started to train. Since he was unable to use magic, he began learning Muggle Martial Arts. He knew many Wizards were unable to fight physically, so he figured this would be an advantage. He found his library had many books on Muggle Defence.
The most interesting thing about these few weeks however, was the Diary. Harry and Lily talked very often. After reading about magical items sucking life force out of you, Harry started to trust the Diary. It had never tried to take his energy, and many things had lead him to believe that only a mother could be this concerned and love him so much. He also read about the enchantment she had used on the Diary, and found it was true, so only a blood relation could have cast the spell. The fact that it had turned bright blue showed that it was either a parent or a brother or sister.
Lily told Harry all about her time at Hogwarts. She even showed him a couple of her favourite memories. He found out about her two best friends, Abby and Kat. Realizing he knew nearly nothing about his mother, he listened raptly to all her stories. It turned out that both Abby and Kat had been killed during a Death Eater raid, which Lily had barely escaped with her life. This had been a year before Harry's birth, and Lily still felt guilty about not being able to help her friends.
The closeness that Lily, Abby and Kat shared reminded Harry painfully of his friendship with Ron and Hermione before they had started dating. Reading about their trials and adventures, he wondered why no one had ever really told him about his mother. After she finished her stories about Hogwarts, she told him about the few brief years she and James had together.
James had been an Unspeakable, and was often away on missions. She showed Harry many of her memories from when he had been a child, and he had wondered where James was. He saw Sirius around more than he saw James. His favourite memory was a time when he had been barely a year old, and Lily was rocking him to sleep singing a lullaby. She had a beautiful voice and watched him with such love that he wished he was that baby again. He wished he had her to sing to him and comfort him as he grew up since his aunt and uncle certainly never did.
When Harry had mentioned that he lived with Petunia and Vernon, Lily had been extremely upset. She had demanded to know why Sirius wasn't taking care of him, and whether he was still being irresponsible. When Harry asked Lily why she thought Sirius would be irresponsible she became very nervous. Finally, she told him.
***Flashback!***
~Harry...if I tell you something will you promise not to judge me until I've finished the entire thing?~
~Sure, Mum...~ Harry replied nervously. Why did she think he would judge her?
~Harry, sweetie, you have to understand. I loved James with all my heart, but he was nearly never home.~ Harry waited for her to continue, but no more writing appeared.
~I know, Mum. Everyone always tells me that you loved each other.~
~Well, we both wanted a child so badly. It probably wasn't the best time to bring a child into this world, but we couldn't put off our happiness because of the war. Who knew how long it would last? A child would be like a light in these dark times. I was a Charms Specialist, so it was possible for me to work from home, and it wouldn't be a danger to have a child. I would be able to contribute to the war effort, and still have my baby.~
~So you did want me then?~ Harry had always wanted to know. He knew his parents loved him, but he had never been sure if they had wanted him. They were in the middle of a war, and maybe they just thought he was in the way.
~Oh yes, Bambi! I definitely wanted you.~ Harry noticed his mother said 'I' instead of 'We', but didn't ask about that. He waited for her to continue. ~When I was 15, and Petunia was 19, she had a baby. She was the most beautiful baby girl, with dark brown hair, and bright blue eyes. I never knew who the father was, but I'm sure it wasn't Vernon. I think it was a wizard though.~
~How would you know?~ asked Harry curiously.
~I'm not sure. When the baby hadn't been born yet, it had a certain feeling to it that muggle babies don't have. Only witches can feel it, but I think I was feeling its magical powers. I suppose it could be muggle- born but it was just a feeling I had.
When I came home for the summer after 5th year, Petunia hated this child. She was barely 6 months old when she first performed magic. Most babies don't show signs of magic until they are at least a year, and even 3 or 4 years isn't unusual. But you, my dear, performed your first magic, at 2 days less than 6 months. And you managed to hit Peter over the head with a wooden block.~
Harry laughed. He was glad that had been his first sign of magic. ~Good,~ he told her. ~The bastard deserves it!~
~Harry!~ she scolded. ~Don't use that type of language. Anyway, two things can cause early signs of magic. Great power, or great need. You were in that first category, I think. Unless of course, you needed to hit Peter or die.~ Harry could see the sarcasm in her voice.
~But Violet was in the second category. Petunia didn't exactly take good care of her, but since she lived with my mother, Mum usually took care of her. But once, when my Mum and Dad were away for the weekend, Petunia forgot about her. The poor baby was so hungry she summoned a bottle. Since Petunia had no milk in any bottle, Violet only got an empty bottle, but Petunia saw this she freaked out. She called my mother screaming, so both my parents flew home that day. Petunia already hated Violet for 'ruining her life' as she called it, but now she hated her even more.~
~Uh...Wasn't it Aunt Petunia, who ruined her life? I mean the child didn't exactly have a choice.~
~Harry,~ wrote an exasperated Lily, ~I thought you lived with Petunia. You should know that she isn't exactly rational.~
~Right,~ wrote Harry, feeling a little silly. Of course he knew Petunia wasn't rational. She had locked him in his room for eating! Come to think of it, he hadn't had any meals since he got here. He just hadn't noticed because the trunk had a kitchen.
~Anyway, my parents were quite pleased. They didn't hate magic, and were very proud of me when I got my letter. They thought it would be easier for Violet because I was already in the magical world.
They forced Petunia to keep looking after it, in an attempt to teach her responsibility. One of them were always around, making sure that Violet hadn't been neglected. When I came home, I fell in love with her. She was the sweetest little baby. Although when you came along, she lost her spot. You were just as sweet.
My parents asked me to take care of her for the summer, because they just couldn't keep getting up every night when my sister wouldn't. So I did. And after that, I would come home for every holiday to see her, to take care of her and just to play with her. But ever since then, I've wanted my own child, not one I had to leave after a few weeks or months.~
~So where is Violet? Shouldn't she have still been living at home when I first got here? Was she that much older than me?~ His aunt had a daughter. That certainly was a surprise!
~She's would be 5 years older than you. And I don't know where she is. My mother and father died in an attack during my seventh year. I went back to Hogwarts after the funeral, and when I came back Violet was gone. Petunia refused to tell me anything about her. I left soon afterwards and rarely spoke to her. I think she was put up for adoption. Even Petunia couldn't be cruel enough to just abandon a child. Although if Petunia had given her to me, I would have happily adopted her.~
~So you've never seen Violet since?~ asked Harry curiously.
~No. I looked for her, asking at all orphanages nearby, but I never found her. I had planned to start searching again after we could come out of hiding, but I guess I never did.~
So Petunia had just gotten rid of her daughter. Harry now had no doubt that if it hadn't been for Dumbledore, he would be currently in an orphanage. ~Uh...Mum,~ he asked cautiously, ~Why would this make me judge you? You didn't exactly do anything other than love your sister's child. Which is more than she did.~
~Right, sorry. I went off on a tangent. You see, Harry, before I became pregnant with you, I had two miscarriages. The Wiarding World has wonderful medical technology, but they can't prevent miscarriages. The first time, James was home and he comforted me. He was upset as well, but nothing can compare to the feeling of your child being ripped out of your body. I thought James would hate me. I know it wasn't very rational, but I was so upset.~ The writing started to shake, and the page became damp. Harry realized how much this had affected his mother.
~But he didn't. He was so kind, and supportive, and even took 3 days off work. Finally, with James help, I returned to normal. I was able to work again, and I slowly started feeling happier. About 4 months after this first miscarriage, I became pregnant again. I was so happy. I did everything I possible could to protect this baby. But again, about a month into this pregnancy, I miscarried. James wasn't home this time. I felt horrible. This was the second time.
What if this was because I was a horrible mother? I couldn't even carry a baby to term. You wouldn't understand now Harry, and I hope you never do. But even later, you won't know how distressing it is. You're not the one whose body is rejecting a baby.
I stayed home all week and just cried. My boss understood and when I told her, she gave me a week off. But by the end of the week, I was still so sad and alone.
Sirius came over that night, to see James. Sirius hadn't known that James was gone, since this was a top-secret mission, James couldn't risk sending him an owl. Instead, Sirius found me sobbing on the couch. He tried to comfort me, but he just wasn't very good at that. Anything he said would start me crying again.~
Harry watched as the shaky letters flew across the page. The writing was hurried, and the pages were wet.
~I think he had been drinking that night, because he kissed me.~ Harry stared at the page in shock. Sirius KISSED his mother?
~I tried to stop him. I really did! Please believe me Harry! But he kissed me again, and I didn't stop him. I wanted so much for someone to hold me, and love me that I didn't care what I was doing. I knew it was wrong, but I needed someone to love me.~ Tears were streaming down the page, blurring the words, but Harry still understood them. 'Please don't let this be going where I think it is,' he thought.
~We slept together that night. Sirius left before I woke up. I was even more upset than I had been before. I had betrayed James. I had lost TWO of his children, and now this. I knew he would hate me, but I had to tell him. But scarcely a week later, I found out I was pregnant again.~
Harry's mind reeled. SIRIUS was his father? He had never expected THIS. What was he supposed to do? Had James known? Then something else hit him. Did Sirius know??
As if reading his thoughts, Lily continued. ~I went to Sirius' the same day I found out. He would barely look at me, and implied more than once that he thought it had been my fault. I know I'm not entirely blameless, but it wasn't all me! When I finally got around to telling him about my pregnancy, he became almost violent. He said it must have been someone else's. Finally, when he realized it was his, he told me to get rid of it. Get RID OF IT. As if I would. I had wanted a child so much, that I would never abort one. I told him I wouldn't, and he informed me that James would hate me if I told him about the baby not being his. Finally, just before I left, he told me that he loved me. That he had loved me since Hogwarts, but didn't do anything about it because I was dating James. He told me he had slept with so many red-haired women wishing they were me. He apologized about not being able to accept the baby as his child, but he couldn't do that to James. I just didn't know what to think. I later found out that he was also the father of my friend Kat's child. And that he denied that as well. I was alright because I had a husband and wanted a child, but Kat didn't. I couldn't believe he would do that to her.~
Harry's entire world came crumbling down in an instant. Sirius was his father. Sirius hadn't grown out of his git-phase, and had just left his mother and her best friend pregnant. What did he even look like? If James wasn't his father, he probably wouldn't look like him.
Tentatively, he asked, ~Mum, did you ever tell Dad?~
~Yes, Harry, I told James. He was furious, and I thought he might leave, but he didn't. He calmed down and told me he would support the baby and me anyway. I don't think Sirius ever knew that James knew. They stayed friends. I cast a charm on you just before we left the hospital, so you looked like James instead of Sirius. I will wear off around your 17th birthday. You may have noticed changes already. Both Sirius and James loved you Harry. James asked him to be your Godfather, and he accepted, so that must mean something. He does love you even if he is a complete bastard.~
Harry just stared at the book in shock. What. The. Hell?
~Please, Harry. Please don't hate me. I can understand why you would, but please. I do love you, so much.~ The words were nearly washed away by the torrent of tears that followed.
~Mum...I...I...Don't hate you. I'm just shocked. Sirius never told me this. How much more are they keeping from me? But I don't hate you. You're only human, and I know what it feels like to be so scared and lonely. Maybe not the same way as you, but I do know.~
***End Flashback***
That had been the most intense conversation he'd ever had with his mother. He still was unsure as to what to do, but he had begun to accept it. He had already begun to change back to his original form. He doubted anyone would notice, since he still had his green eyes, and black hair. But his face was slightly different. His nose was slightly longer, and his mouth fuller. His cheekbones were higher as well. He had grown another inch, leaving him at 5'10".
Finally, four days before his birthday, Petunia unlocked Harry's door. He wondered if she thought he was dead, since he hadn't been fed in a few weeks.
"You!" she snapped. "Get downstairs and weed the garden. It's become quite a sight. What would the neighbours think?"
"Alright, alright," sighed Harry, moving towards the door. He went outside and began to weed. Soon, Dudley and his gang came by. Upon seeing Harry outside they began to make fun of him. One even kicked him. "Four more days, four more days," he repeated to himself. Unfortunately, Dudley noticed.
"AWW, look at the freak sitting there talking to himself." Harry just rolled his eyes. Eventually they left.
Soon it got dark, and Harry went inside. His uncle sneered at him as he tried to go upstairs. "Aren't you hungry boy? Come and eat something." Surprised, and slightly suspicious, Harry followed his uncle into the kitchen. When he reached the kitchen, he understood. On three plates stood roast beef, mashed potatoes, peas, carrots, and fresh bread. A fourth held a white jelly-like substance. 'Ooh, I wonder which is mine,' he thought sarcastically. 'Damn, I'm getting way too cynical.'
After eating his dinner, which he still couldn't identify, he trudged back up to his room. Picking up the diary, he decided to ask his mother about the last compartment on the trunk.
~Hi Mum.~
~Hello dear! How are you?~
~Hungry. I'll cook some food in a minute. But what I wanted to ask you was how to use the last compartment of the trunk.~
~Oh, yes, of course. You put your finger over the keyhole, and think about the speed that you want time to go. Try it a couple times and you'll get the hang of it. Also, if you want it to act like a normal trunk, put your finger on the hole and say 'trunk'. Make sure you NEVER jump in when it's all black. That means a time hasn't been selected yet. Once you're inside, and want to get out, there'll be a blue handpad where you place your entire palm, like in those Muggle high-security facilities. It will transport you out. To take someone else, make sure you're touching them when you go in, and out. All the other compartments are connected to this one, so you'll end up in the sitting room of your apartment. There are doors leading to all the other compartments.~
~Wow. Okay can I try it now?~
~Sure! But make time go slower than normal. You wouldn't want to go in, and find out 3 months has passed would you? Just slow time down a little. To maybe a minute in there is a second out here. Go in for 10 or 20 minutes, and when you get out, only 10 or 20 seconds should have passed.~
~Alright. Hang on a second.~
Harry walked over to the trunk and opened it as his mother had said. 'One minute to one second,' he thought. Sure enough, the trunk opened and he saw his sitting room inside. Before he went inside, he checked the time. 7:32. Climbing in, the trunk lid shut behind him. Picking up a book on Transfiguration, he started to read. Not really feeling like reading, he glanced at the clock. 15 minutes had gone by. He walked to the wall and stuck his hand on the blue pad. Instantly, he felt himself being transported back to his bedroom. Looking at the clock out here, he noticed it still said 7:32.
Feeling very tired for some reason, Harry got into bed. He thought of sleeping in the slow-time, but decided he wanted to get out of here, so sleeping in there would keep him here longer. He could speed time up, but then his aunt wouldn't be able to find him. Satisfied with his logic, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. However, just before sleep claimed him, he realized he still hadn't eaten anything.
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A/N: Yay another chapter! I meant to have him leave the Dursleys this chapter, but I guess that'll have to wait til the next one. So, what'd you think of what Lily told Harry? It won't exactly be vital to the storyline, but it will affect Harry. I can't really explain because it'd give too much away. And not to worry, Violet won't be an Mary-Sue. She won't be in this story at all really. Maybe a mention or two. I didn't kill her, because I couldn't kill another baby. And she might prove useful to me in a 7th year sequel if I decide to write one.
Thanks to my reviewers!
athenakitty – Yes, Harry will be slightly pissed at Dumbledore. He already is. He's not exactly at another location, but his dream self is. He was still at Privet drive. He will learn to apparate, but not til after he goes to Grummald Place, and after his birthday. No, the Dursleys will not die. Well I suppose Dudley may have a heart attack, it's inevitable, but no, it won't be in the story.
fiddy – This story includes book 5, EXCEPT for Sirius dying. I told you before the prologue that Neville died instead. I'm glad you like it!
Silvercrystal77 – Nope, the diary is all good. I tried to tell him that in as many ways as possible. I know it's still possible for it to be evil, but I just wanted him to be able to talk to his mother. Thank you, thank you!
Fiery Pheonix – hahah, Apartment compartment made me laugh every time I typed it. But yeah its SO cool. Yup, I figured Ginny might go psycho and try to rip it up or something. Didn't want to deal with that yet. Ron and Hermione keep running away to snog every time I try to include them. Poor Harry.
Lady FP of the Rings – Thanks! Yeah, I just love Lily. I tried to make her loving but sarcastic.
Ms.Marvel – YAY! I'm glad you like! WHEE I'm in favs!!!
Fan-Of-HP – Thanks! I'm glad you like it!
Comet Moon – Yeah, he is going to do some major training. Ginny, well she might not. Yet anyway. Some things might get in the way.
Vicous Pixie – Yes, poor baby. His name was Dylan. Thanks you!
dementorchic – He could do essays in there (and he undoubtedly will) but that's not the main reason for it!
BabyBlu4 – Yes, the movie said he was a seeker, but JKR said he was a Chaser in an interview, so I'm going with that. I wanted to show differences between the two. Thank you very much!
Annison Crane – Hehe, sleazy Dumbledore. I don't really like Dumbledore. From the first book, I wondered why everyone trusted him and never questioned him. He's made so many mistakes, and he's SO controlling. Thank you!
Eris, Queen of the Shadows – Thanks! Yeah, I figured everyone needed a mother around, and Petunia doesn't really fill in very well. And she needed to tell him things!
Cobalt45 – Thanks! I don't think he will completely loose Harry's trust in the books, but Harry's quite naïve there. I made him more cynical here. And plus, I don't like Luna. No offence to people who do, because she's a great character, but she annoyed me. I like him with Ginny because she's survived Voldemort too. And she was kidnapped by him in my story.
ElvishGirl18 – heh, they will fall in love, but not a couple more chapters. We gotta have jealous Ginny first. She say's she's 'over' him doesn't she? Even if her actions don't!
dolphingirl79 – I hate Harry being kept in the dark too. It makes him do stupid things. Thank you!
Thanks again to everyone who reviewed. I hope you like this chapter!!