Nineteen
Dear Mr. William Turner,
I must admit to you that it is with a certain hesitancy that this letter is being written, as all of our correspondence in the past has been extraordinarily good-natured and I have no wish to see it become otherwise in the future.
As you are no doubt aware, due to the nature of my profession, I am faced with something of a professional dilemma. It appears that in light of events of the future, I have been advised to – how can one articulate precisely – remove the facet of a certain significant other temporarily from your profile.
I realize it may perhaps be necessary to present you with due evidence as to how such a decision was reached and to assure you that such a thing would be in your best interest, as I can recommend that it is. It is hardly required that you be reminded of the independent and non-conformist traits of one Elizabeth Swann, and indeed, it would be quite redundant of me to inform you of the pleasantness she has found in her newly tasted freedoms. Though I am aware that these things do not form a concrete basis for a drastic change of heart on her part by any stretch of the imagination, they do allow room for several possibilities, which I now present to you.
Elizabeth could become involved in a profession or in the community. This is an interesting choice because it is itself multi-faceted; she may be absent for a long period of time, or forget you entirely and/or redirect her passion for you towards something else.
Elizabeth could fall in love with another. I realize that this is not the most realistic of alternatives, but I remind you that it is only needed to log onto fanfiction.net to confirm its popularity. I do not feel it is appropriate to state here the most common object of these redirected desires – suffice it to say that he may be someone you know well.
Elizabeth could die. Again, before you protest, refer to much of the current fiction to witness that this alternative is appealing to a rather large audience.
The final suggestion that I can make is that you forget her – perhaps though, only temporarily – altogether. Who knows, if I did not have the gall to send you this letter, you may not have remembered her until the end of the story anyway.
As your temporary benefactor, I felt obligated to consult with you. Please keep in mind that Elizabeth's fate is far from limited to the above suggestions, but she will, in some way, need to be removed from the picture. While it is quite true that authority over these matters rests ultimately with me, I felt it permissible to allow you to voice your opinion, William. These things tend to crop up in your line of work (your current line of work being fodder for fan fiction until the advent of Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Treasures of the Lost Abyss), and I do sympathize. However, I cannot allow empathy to come before my professional duties in writing said fiction, so we will both have to content ourselves with a compromise – me with the limitation of being unable to deviate from your character, and you with the assurance that spending your remaining chapters in the company of a diverse female cast is not entirely unpleasant.
Wishing you and your companions the best,
The Author.
PS – I would appreciate it if you reminded Mr. Sparrow to thank me for finally conceding to his repeated request to do a scene nude. Let him know that he owes me a favour. He will know what kind you mean.
Dear Mr. William Turner,
I must admit to you that it is with a certain hesitancy that this letter is being written, as all of our correspondence in the past has been extraordinarily good-natured and I have no wish to see it become otherwise in the future.
As you are no doubt aware, due to the nature of my profession, I am faced with something of a professional dilemma. It appears that in light of events of the future, I have been advised to – how can one articulate precisely – remove the facet of a certain significant other temporarily from your profile.
I realize it may perhaps be necessary to present you with due evidence as to how such a decision was reached and to assure you that such a thing would be in your best interest, as I can recommend that it is. It is hardly required that you be reminded of the independent and non-conformist traits of one Elizabeth Swann, and indeed, it would be quite redundant of me to inform you of the pleasantness she has found in her newly tasted freedoms. Though I am aware that these things do not form a concrete basis for a drastic change of heart on her part by any stretch of the imagination, they do allow room for several possibilities, which I now present to you.
Elizabeth could become involved in a profession or in the community. This is an interesting choice because it is itself multi-faceted; she may be absent for a long period of time, or forget you entirely and/or redirect her passion for you towards something else.
Elizabeth could fall in love with another. I realize that this is not the most realistic of alternatives, but I remind you that it is only needed to log onto fanfiction.net to confirm its popularity. I do not feel it is appropriate to state here the most common object of these redirected desires – suffice it to say that he may be someone you know well.
Elizabeth could die. Again, before you protest, refer to much of the current fiction to witness that this alternative is appealing to a rather large audience.
The final suggestion that I can make is that you forget her – perhaps though, only temporarily – altogether. Who knows, if I did not have the gall to send you this letter, you may not have remembered her until the end of the story anyway.
As your temporary benefactor, I felt obligated to consult with you. Please keep in mind that Elizabeth's fate is far from limited to the above suggestions, but she will, in some way, need to be removed from the picture. While it is quite true that authority over these matters rests ultimately with me, I felt it permissible to allow you to voice your opinion, William. These things tend to crop up in your line of work (your current line of work being fodder for fan fiction until the advent of Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Treasures of the Lost Abyss), and I do sympathize. However, I cannot allow empathy to come before my professional duties in writing said fiction, so we will both have to content ourselves with a compromise – me with the limitation of being unable to deviate from your character, and you with the assurance that spending your remaining chapters in the company of a diverse female cast is not entirely unpleasant.
Wishing you and your companions the best,
The Author.
PS – I would appreciate it if you reminded Mr. Sparrow to thank me for finally conceding to his repeated request to do a scene nude. Let him know that he owes me a favour. He will know what kind you mean.