Chapter Six: Distraction

[Thanks Xanti for betaing for me!]

Sara stood outside in the lab parking lot, waiting for Grissom to come out. Although he hadn't mentioned the breakfast invitation since he had asked, she was still under the impression that it was still on.

Thinking it over for a minute, Sara contemplated going home and forgetting about breakfast entirely. She didn't want to think about the meaning behind the breakfast meeting. If she did that, she knew she would be in for another disappointment.

The last thing she wanted was for this to distract her from her work, or her personal life. She had only just managed to pull through the last few months without completely losing it.

Now, all she wanted was something stable and honest. If Grissom couldn't give her that now, she might as well give up all together and pack her bags. She was done wasting life on a fantasy.

Checking her watch for the first time, she made a decision that would most likely result with him on her doorstep once again. That restraining order was looking so promising at this very moment.

And the thought brought a fleeting smirk to her face, the first brief smile she had shown in a long while.

Digging into her pockets, she grasped her car keys, but hesitated when removing them. Sighing in resignation, she knew her heart was already shaking from the pain it had gone through, and decided in that moment to go home.

Just as she was closing the driver's door, she looked up to see the man on her mind standing on the curb, watching her with a noticeable deep frown.

She opened the door as he began walking towards her. Though she didn't move to exit the vehicle, she watched his approach.

"I thought we were going to breakfast." He inquired, his voice holding a steady tone while his face showed concern and confusion.

"We 'were', but I can't." Sara said evenly, watching him closely.

Grissom sighed and scratched his beard. "You have stuff to do?"

She shook her head and leaned back.

"Oh." He sighed again, realisation hitting him hard in the stomach. Waiting a beat, he leaned stiffly against the inside of the door to get a better look at her as he spoke softly.

"Sara, I'm not asking for anything more than breakfast between two friends. That's it." He shrugged slightly and focused his eyes somewhere other than her for a few minutes. "And, if it develops into more than that," He paused and looked at her. "I want you to know that I promise I won't hurt you."

She closed her eyes for a moment and released a tired breath. Her head rolled in his direction so she could look into his eyes. "Grissom, as much as I want this, I can't have it. Not anymore, not when your heart is obviously elsewhere. I can't make you love me and I don't want to-"

"I do love you." He blurted as he slid closer, his face mere inches from hers.

"And your heart?" She asked, trying not to cry. She had done too much of that in front of him as it was.

"Will always be yours." He breathed. He looked into her eyes and smiled as he watched her closely.

From her position, Sara could see his whole face and nothing much else. He was close to kissing her and she didn't want that. Well, she did, but not yet. She still didn't trust him. He had lost all his chances and was at this moment, on his last wish. No more chances after this.

"Get this right." She told him.

"Breakfast?" He asked, inching forward.

She nodded. "I'll meet you at the diner."

"Ok." He said quietly as he closed the distance between them.

Sara watched his smile widen when she pushed back on his chest. Her smile broke out as he raised his eyebrows and licked his lips. "Still a long way to go before any of that Griss."

Grissom sighed and pouted as he turned on his heels and strode off towards his car.

~*~

The expression, time flies when you're having fun, could actually describe the past 6 weeks. Though the time was used in public places for short periods of time, it was always amazing what you could fit into a few small hours.

No romantic gestures. No longing looks. No innuendo. No contact. Nothing that would symbolise a date or anything other than a friendly outing with a friend. Talking was difficult at first, but the places visited gave openings to start stimulated conversation that could and did, last for hours.

This trusting business was what it was. It was finding that comfortable place inside someone and giving out a safety net that another could fall back on when needed.

This was hard to find after everything that had happened between them.

~*~

"Date." Grissom blurted, looking up from his desk and focusing his eyes on Sara, who was standing in his office with her arms crossed over her chest defiantly.

"What?" She asked, confused by the sudden change in subject. One second they were arguing about a case and then the next minute he blurts the word 'date'.

Removing his glasses to rub the bridge of his nose, he looked up at her and repeated. "Date. I want to take you on a date." He dropped his glasses onto his desk and pushed his chair back to stand.

"Erm, Griss-" Sara stammered, momentarily stunned as she tried to shift tracks and concentrate on what he was saying. Her argument about the case she was working on was important to her and she was caught off guard as he had immediately shifted gears after telling her she had to wait until morning before contacting a judge for a warrant. She was about to suggest another judge when he changed the subject.

"I think it's time Sara. It's been over a month." He moved around his desk and stood in front of her.

Finally getting her brain to catch up, she shook her head and narrowed her eyes. "That's exactly what it's been, a month and 2 weeks. That's not enough time to establish trust, let alone forgiveness and a number of other stuff that has to come first."

Grissom nodded his head, but still pushed the suggestion. "I want to date you and do that too. It's the only way I can think of to get your faith in me, back."

Sara stared at him long and hard before shaking her head again. "I don't think so Grissom. Just 3 days ago we were at this very point and the answer is still the same. No."

"Why not?" He demanded with a heavy sigh.

"I'm not ready." She answered simply and shrugged sadly. "I don't trust you."

"You trust me here?" He asked, pointing a hand towards the labs.

"With my life, yes, but not out there." She tilted her head slightly to look at him curiously. "Why did you ask that?"

Looking down at his feet a moment, he stepped forward on a sigh. "This is where I want your trust. The rest can come later. I'll work hard for it everyday, but here is where I want it to be known."

"Known?" Sara asked before realising what he was meaning. "Oh." She breathed. "That wasn't what I had in mind."

"It's were we should start." He suggested. "Right where it all began. Here. In the lab."

Starting to feel uncomfortable with the idea, Sara began to fidget and look around the room. "I don't know Griss." She said in an almost quiet whisper. "The guys are only just starting to move on with their lives. This could put me in the dog house with the entire lab, especially Nick and Warrick."

Grissom looked concerned. "Dog house? Why?" He reached out and touched her arms as he stepped closer, trying to comfort her as she began rubbing her palms together nervously.

"Don't you remember what it was like before I came here?" She asked. "I can imagine it was much better than when I finally got here." She looked him in the eyes. "Catherine didn't want me here in the first place and neither did Nick or Warrick. I had to work for their respect and it took me a long time too. I wasn't just the new kid, but the teachers pet and workaholic."

"So?" He questioned. "That doesn't mean the guys are going to disrespect you after all this time."

She smiled sadly. "Since Catherine left, it's been like I was the new kid all over again. I've been working hard to get that respect back because it was taken away so easily." She shrugged. "That doesn't make me feel any better because of their loyalty to you and Catherine. Whatever you two say goes. Whatever you two do, goes."

"That has been the way since before I got here. And whenever a tough patch hits, its blame the new kid. Get your kicks in while you can." She talked animatedly, dropping her hands from their wringing grip.

Grissom took her hands in his and gently rubbed them to smooth out the red blotches that had formed when she was strangling them in her tight hold. Though this was an unspoken rule, the touching, he couldn't help himself.

"I doubt it was exactly like that, but I can only imagine it was tough." He consoled, releasing one of her hands to touch her cheek. "Don't let them get to you."

"But they are going to blame me!" She exclaimed in a voice that was close to frustration.

"What for?" He asked sternly, but knowing the answer. "For making Cath leave?" His eyebrows shot up when she looked at him with a cold glare. "You had nothing to do with that!" He sighed and tried to relax.

"That won't be how they will look at it."

"Maybe, but we know the truth. I know the truth." He assured her. "I have really fucked up Sara." He snapped, but not in anger, in frustration and concern. "I may love Catherine-"

Sara didn't like that one bit and tried to withdraw from his closeness and his hold on her hands and face.

Grissom dipped his head to catch her eyes. "As a friend. I may love Catherine as a friend, but I sure don't hold the depth of feelings that are inside me right now, for anyone else but you."

Sensing something in his voice, she looked into his eyes and found what she had heard. Love. True love.

"I love you. No one else." He narrowed his eyes in thought. "Maybe that damned lab rat, but-" He smirked as Sara spat out a laugh. "But not in that way, you know." He finished with a chuckle.

"I'm sure Greg will be pleased to hear that." She taunted, laughing lightly.

"I'm sure Greg would." He agreed. Waiting for their laughter to subside, he watched her closely. "So, what do you think, you think it's time?"

Sara breathed out slowly and nodded reluctantly. "I hope you're right about the guys." She told him unsurely. "Because I don't know if I can do this if they don't approve."

Grissom nodded and gently leaned his forehead against hers with a relieved smile and sighed. "I'll be right beside you." He promised.

~*~

Feeling up to something more adventurous than a museum or a walk down the strip, Grissom surprised Sara by driving a few miles out of Vegas and towards the smaller towns bordering the city of lights.

Pulling up to a large farm, the bright lights and loud music could be seen and heard by all.

Grissom walked around the car and met Sara at the front. "You're going to love this." He grinned.

Sara looked dubious, but smiled as he grabbed her hand and tugged gently to get her feet moving.

Entering through enormous open doors to the barn, they were greeted with hoards of town folk dancing, drinking, talking and singing. They filled the building, but there was a path straight down the middle towards a makeshift bar.

"What would you like?" Grissom shouted over the music.

Sara shrugged and glanced around, holding onto Grissom's hand so she didn't get lost.

"Two beers." She heard him call to the lady behind the bar. He turned and leaned back against the wooden structure. "So?" He asked, pulling on her hand so she was standing closer to him.

"It's nice." She grinned.

Grissom nodded and smiled at her. He paid for the beers and they moved away to find a group of tables that were near the front. Sitting for a while, talking and looking around, the music changed several times to play different types of music so it would appeal to the many different age groups that were present.

"How'd you find this place?" Sara asked, leaning against Grissom's shoulder so he could hear her.

Tilting his head towards her, he smiled. "A friend owns the farm."

"You have a friend?" She asked.

Grissom turned his head slightly so he could see her teasing smile and bright eyes. "Yeah, just one." He deadpanned.

Sara snickered and playfully bumped him with her shoulder.

Listening to the music, Sara grabbed Grissom's hand that was resting on the table and stood. "Come dance with me." She pulled on his hand.

Without much argument, he jumped up and followed her. Though he wasn't sure if he could dance to the music that was playing, he was going to try, for Sara.

Getting into the beat, Sara grasped Grissom's arm as she swung her hips to the music. She was smiling and laughing as she watched him dance with her. It was probably something 20 years olds did in clubs, but the fun they were having and several dozen other people on the floor, was something they wouldn't forget in a hurry.

Grissom pulled her closer to him as he shifted his feet and moved his body to match hers, which was a bit more difficult given that he wasn't as young as he used to be.

By the time the music came to an end, they were laughing and giggling, hanging onto each other and talking loudly to one another.

The band started playing a slow song and nearly half the barn was on their feet and dancing with a partner.

Sara wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her body lightly against his. Grissom's own arms were positioned around her waist and his face was resting against hers, cheek to cheek.

Being so close to him was beyond what she thought was going to happen tonight. Dinner and talking was all she had conjured up, but this, dancing, laughing and joking, was something she had only dreamed would happen.

Grissom's hands joined on her lower back. The music was soft and slow, giving them time to hold each other close enough to feel each other's heartbeats.

Sara had her eyes closed and her head leaning on his shoulder, her arms moved to his sides to hold onto the fabric of his long sleeved shirt. The smell of aftershave wafted to her nose and she breathed it in before letting out a relaxed sigh.

Not breaking the moment with talk, Grissom quietly and softly caressed her spine and placed a kiss on her exposed neck.

Shivering against the touch, Sara leaned against him some more and slid her arms around his body to hold him tightly. The chance to hold him and hug him was something she wanted to treasure. Even though the night had turned out to be both fun and intimate, she still felt as though everything wasn't going to stay like it was now. Something was going to change and their time was going to run out, quick.

"Don't let this evening end." She whispered into his ear.

Grissom pulled back slightly. His eyes gazed into hers before trailing over her face. His examination ended at her lips and there was an overwhelming heat that settled on them, encasing both of their bodies like an inferno.

"I don't think I could." He murmured, finding her eyes again.

Sara smiled and kissed him quickly on the lips. "Let's get something to eat."

"Ok." He chuckled.

TBC