Lester POV
"So, are you going home for Thanksgiving this year?" I asked Ram as we drove along Chambers Street after dropping our last FTA of the day at the cop shop.
Ram shook his head as he reached for the coffee he'd been nursing for the last four hours. "My sister talked my folks into coming to her house this year and since her husband and I don't get along, I decided it was best to stay here. So, I'm covering monitor duty on Thanksgiving Day, so some of the other guys can get off." He took a drink of what had to now be cold coffee then looked at me. "What about you? Big get together at the Manoso house again this year?"
I rolled my eyes as I made the turn onto Hamilton to head back toward Rangeman. "I tried to bag it with the excuse that I had to work, but Ranger beat me to it. Since he went last year, he told me it was my turn to deal with the family."
Ram shook his head. "Tough luck."
I grinned. "At least I'll get some of Mama's Flan." I'd no sooner finished my sentence when my phone began to ring. Being connected to the car's Bluetooth, Beautiful's name and cell number popped up on the screen, temporarily blocking the view of the map we rarely used.
I pushed the button on the steering wheel, connecting the call. "Hey, Beautiful. What's going on?"
"Hey, Les, are you busy?" The underlying edge in her voice had both Ram and I sitting up a bit straighter in our seats. Was she in trouble?
"We just finished dropping off our last FTA," I replied as Ram and I exchanged worried glances. "Why?"
"Well," she started to say then stopped.
"Steph, are you okay?" Ram asked.
"I'm fine, Ram."
"Then why don't you sound like you're fine?" I asked.
"Well, I'm not hurt or anything," she replied. "And I'm not in any danger, but I do kinda need some help."
"What do you need help with?" I asked.
"Um…" she hedged. "Well, I kinda did something and in trying to fix it…well…I just kinda need some help with something."
Ram arched a brow as he looked from the screen to me. Yeah, that wasn't at all suspicious sounding. "You sure you're, okay?" he repeated.
"I said I was fine," she replied, her tone one of exasperation.
"Then why are you being so evasive in your answers?" I asked. "And why didn't you call Ranger?"
"I didn't call Ranger because he has that big meeting with the head of First Trenton National Bank today and I'm not being evasive. I mean it's not like I broke any laws," she replied, then paused. "Well, maybe I did break one tiny law, but I had a good reason, and I did make it right…sort of."
Lord help us. "What did you do?" I asked.
"It would be easier to explain if you just came to help me."
"Fine, where are you?" When my question met silence, it only served to set my nerves further on edge. "Stephanie?"
"Promise you won't yell."
"When have I ever yelled at you?" I asked.
"Okay," she sighed. "I'm sitting in a parking lot for a Kentucky Fried Chicken, just off highway five-thirty-seven, just South of the Jackson Outlets."
What the fuck was she doing all the way out there? "Why?"
"Because my car died," she replied.
"Figures," Ram muttered.
"I heard that," Steph said.
"I wasn't trying to hide it," Ram replied.
"I meant why are you all the way out there," I asked while sending my partner a look that screamed knock it off.
"That's part of what I need help with," she replied.
Ram texted Vince in the control room and had him ping Steph's car. She was exactly where she said she was. "Okay, we'll be there in less than thirty minutes. Lock your doors and sit tight."
Once we had the proper directions programed into the Explorer, we headed out of Trenton.
"What in the hell did she get herself into this time," Ram asked.
I shook my head as I took Chambers Street all the way to the end and picked up Broad. "I don't know, but we're about to find out."
We'd just merged onto one-ninety-five to head East, when Tank called us. "Santos. What's going on with Little Girl?" he asked.
At Tank's question, Ram's eyebrows were halfway up his forehead. We both knew that whatever was going on with her, she probably wouldn't want others to know about, especially Ranger. "What makes you think something is going on with her?" I asked.
"Cut the bullshit, Santos. I heard Vince call Ram with Steph's location. Why is she all the way out near Jackson?"
"Apparently, her car broke down and she called us to come get her," I replied.
"I repeat, why is she all the way out in Jackson?" he asked.
"We don't know," I finally said. "She was a bit shifty in her information. All she would say was that she wasn't hurt and wasn't in any danger."
"That leaves a lot open for interpretation," he replied. "Should I call Ranger?"
"No," Ram and I said at the same time. The silence that followed told me more than words could. Tank probably had his eyes closed and was fighting to take deep, calming breaths.
"She didn't call Ric on purpose," Tank finally said.
"That was our conclusion too," I replied. "Just let us check out the situation and if we need help or things aren't as they seem, we'll call for backup."
"Call either way," Tank ordered. "I want an update as soon as you make contact."
"Roger," I said, then hung up. I really hope Steph wasn't lying about not being in danger.
Fifteen minutes later, we took the exit for five-thirty-seven and were barely a mile down the road when we spotted the Kentucky Fried Chicken. Steph's car was angled into a parking space behind the empty parcel next to it
We pulled in and parked next to her twenty-year-old Jeep Liberty. She stepped out to greet us. "I'm sorry, guys. I just didn't know who else to call."
"It's no problem," I replied. "But you never answered why you're all the way out here."
She ducked her head and stared at the ground. "I kinda did something."
Before either of us could ask what she'd done, a muffled noise came from the back of her Jeep. "What in the hell was that?" I asked as I grabbed her to put her behind me.
"Les," Steph started to protest, but Ram was already at the back of her vehicle.
"That sounded like a turkey," Ram said. Growing up in the Midwest, I suppose he'd know what a turkey sounded like.
With gun drawn, just in case, he popped the hatch. Then he lowered his weapon as a slow grin claimed his features. "Uh…Bomber, you want to explain why you have a live turkey in the back of your SUV?"
"What the fuck?" I re-holstered my weapon and walked around to the back of the Jeep to peer in. Sure enough, inside a large wire cage was a live turkey.
"I can explain," Steph said as she joined us.
"I can't wait to hear this," I replied even as Ram pulled out his phone and began taking pictures.
"So, there's this new trend going around the Burg. Last Thanksgiving Marge Dembrowski's son-in-law purchased a live turkey and had it butchered the day before Thanksgiving. She raved to women in the Burg about how juicy and tender the bird was. Of course, my mother, being the perfect cook, was jealous. How dare anyone make a better Thanksgiving dinner than her? So, this year, she talked dad into buying a live turkey."
I looked from Stephanie to the bird and my smile widened. "I'm guessing that's the turkey?"
Steph shrugged. "I stopped by for lunch yesterday and heard him gobbling in the backyard. When I went to investigate, I found him in this crate. I ended up sitting with him for a few minutes and then left. After, I couldn't stop thinking about him and how there was no way I would be able to sit through Thanksgiving dinner, let alone eat anything knowing he would be the bird on the table."
"So, you decided to rescue him?" I asked.
"I had to," Steph said as she motioned to the crate. "I call him Percy."
"Actually," Ram said. "that's a female turkey."
"Really?" Steph and I asked at the same time.
Ram nodded.
"How can you tell?" Steph asked.
"It's easy," Ram replied. "Male turkeys are much bigger, have elaborate tail feathers and have bald heads. This one is smaller and has feathers on its head. So, this bird is female."
It would figure that the country boy would know. I cocked my head to the side as I looked from the bird to Steph. "Still want to call her Percy?"
"Funny," she quipped.
"Okay, so you bird napped the turkey to keep them from killing it?"
She nodded. "I knew mom was taking grandma to the hairdresser and dad was out driving the cab. So, I went into the backyard and opened the cage to let him…I mean her, free. She wandered around the yard, but she refused to fly away. I even tried coaxing her into flying, but she'd only jump and run away from me." Steph turned to look at me, her face a mask of concern. "Do you think maybe the farmer that sold her clipped her wings to keep her from flying away?"
Honest to God, I tried. I really did, but when Ram let out a snicker, I couldn't help myself and burst into a fit of laughter.
"What?" Steph asked looking even more confused as her attention shifted back and forth between us. "Why are you laughing?"
"Beautiful. Turkeys can't fly."
Her eyes went wide with shock as she looked into the back of the Jeep at the bird. "Really?"
"Yes, really," Ram said.
"Huh…As God as my witness I thought Turkeys could fly," she said, which only lead to another round of laughter from me and Ram.
"Bomber," Ram said through gasping breaths. "If you let her out of the cage, how did you get her back in?"
"Well, I tried just herding her back to the cage, but she's faster than you'd think for having such little legs."
A vision of Beautiful waving her arms as she chased the turkey around her parent's back yard popped into my head, and I had to fight back another peel of laughter.
"When that didn't work, I thought about trying to bribe it with food." She lifted a hand to brush back the loose pieces of hair that had fallen from her ponytail. "I mean that used to work with Morelli's dog Bob, so I figured why not? But then I remembered that I didn't really know what turkeys eat."
This was it. After years of service to my country in places that I wasn't supposed to come back from, I was going to die from laughter right here in an empty parking lot. Honest to God, I really thought I was going to rupture an organ fighting the urge to laugh.
"After a few minutes, I decided a sneak attack would be best," she continued. "So, I went into the house and pulled the comforter off my old bed and brought it outside. Then I threw the blanket over him…I mean her." She shook her head. "She was squawking and making this terrible shrieking noise. I finally got her back in the cage and dragged it out to my car, but I'm sure not before the neighbors got everything on video for my mother to see and I'll get to hear Why me once again."
Just the idea that there might be video of Stephanie chasing this bird while trying to cover it with her mother's comforter was too much even for my highly disciplined mind to handle, and I snorted out another laugh.
She angled her hands to her hips. "Some friends you two are. Maybe I should have called Manny and Hector instead." Her attempt at insulting us had no effect as we continued our impromptu giggle fest. Finally, she lifted her hands in the air as if in defeat. "Fine. Okay. Get it out of your system and then I need you guys to help me?"
At that statement we both stopped laughing. "What are you trying to do?"
"I wanted to take it out to the pine barrens and set it free."
Ram was shaking his head before she'd finished her sentence. "Steph, this is a mostly domesticated bird that's probably been confined for a good portion of its life. It doesn't have the instincts needed to live on its own. You can't just let it go in the wild. It could get attacked by other animals or it could wander out on a road and get hit by a car."
Her expression slid into a look of desperate horror. "If I take Percy back, they'll kill her."
"Hold up a second." I lifted my hand into a stopping motion. "Isn't this just a bit hypocritical of you considering you eat meat all the time?"
She shifted from one foot to the other, as if she found my question uncomfortable. "Maybe, maybe not, but I know for sure that I'd never be able to eat anything that's looked me in the eye," she replied. Besides, it's not like I didn't try to make it right. I left the frozen turkey on the back step, along with a bag full of groceries. So, it's not like mom won't have something to cook."
"Wait?" Ram now lifted his hand indicating he wanted to pause the conversation. "How is leaving a frozen turkey for your mother any better than this?" He motioned to the bird now looking at us from inside the cage.
"Well," Steph said. "The frozen one was already dead. So, why kill another one when we could get one that was already dead?"
Ram and I exchanged looks of bewilderment. "Don't try to figure out my logic," Steph said.
"Don't worry," Ram replied, shaking his head. "I'm not sure anyone besides Ranger could understand your logic, and even that's suspect."
Her spine straightened and she lifted a hand and pointed a finger at Ram as she started to open her mouth to argue. Before she could utter a word, I stepped between them, pulling her attention back to me. "Steph, what are you going to tell your folks when they find the turkey missing?"
She dropped her hand and shrugged. "I'll think of something."
"Your mother was expecting a fresh bird and you're giving her frozen instead?" I shook my head. "Oh, Beautiful, you're setting yourself up for a brutal Thanksgiving dinner."
She rolled her eyes. "Please. This is my mother we're talking about here. It would have been brutal either way. I'm used to it."
Ram smirked. "I guess it wouldn't really be Thanksgiving without a little emotional scarring, huh?"
"Exactly," Steph replied. She grew silent as she looked back at Percy. "So, what am I gonna do now?"
"I have an idea," Ram said as he pulled out his phone and walked a few feet away.
Two hours later, we were headed back to Trenton after dropping Percy at an animal sanctuary that belonged to a friend of Ram's, when my phone rang and instantly, I remembered what we forgot to do.
"Oh shit, we didn't call Tank back," Ram said.
"It's Ranger," I said in reply.
"Doesn't matter. I'm sure Tank told him what happened and now we're all gonna be dead for not following orders," he grumbled.
"Dramatic much? I replied to Ram before pressing the button to connect so Ranger was now on speaker. "Yo."
"Tank tells me you left over two hours ago to pick Stephanie up from where her car broke down near Jackson Township. Yet, your GPS shows you on Route 206."
"Yeah, about that," I said. "It's kinda complicated and it might be best if Beautiful explained it to you."
Steph leaned over the seat from the back. "Hey, Batman, I promise to explain everything when we get back to Haywood."
"Babe," he said. "Maybe you can also explain why your mother is in my lobby demanding to know where her turkey is?"
Ram cringed as I glanced over my shoulder to look at Stephanie. "I'm guessing she hasn't discovered the comforter situation yet."
"What comforter situation," Ranger asked. "What are you guys talking about?"
Steph stuck her tongue out at me before she answered him. "Let's just say that I did something that may very well get me banished from Thanksgiving dinner at the Plum household."
"Babe, your mother lives for holiday dinners where she can detail all her disappointments and unmet expectations of you. What could you possibly have done to piss her off so much she'd give up her favorite sport?"
"Let's just say it's a whopper of a story," I replied.
"I even have pictures as proof," Ram added.
"Hey," Steph protested. "Just who's side are you on here, Ram?"
"Mine," he replied. "I'm not looking to earn any future mat time."
"Big baby," she murmured then lifted her head to talk toward the speaker. "Before we get there and I have to face my mother, I just need to know one thing, Carlos."
"What's that, Babe?"
"If I get banished from my mother's turkey dinner and fresh pumpkin pie, can I go with you to your family's thanksgiving?"
"Of course," he replied. "You know you're always welcome. My mother will be thrilled to see you."
My head whipped up at that. "I thought you weren't going this year Ric."
"I wasn't, but if Stephanie wants to go, then we will. You can hold down the fort for the day, right Santos?"
Hallelujah! "Right, Ric," I replied. "I can totally take care of Rangeman."
"Good, it's settled then," Ranger replied. "Though, Babe, you guys need to get here soon. I can't wait to hear about what happened to your mother's turkey."
"I can tell you this much," I replied to my cousin. "Steph named her Percy."