Author's Note: Hey guys here's chapter five. Thank you SO much everyone for the reviews. I luv luv luv you ALL!

Ch. 5 May Flowers

          Abby woke up one May morning to a silent room and a sweet smell permeating the air. Without opening her eyes, she inhaled deeply and stretched. She could tell that it was probably late and felt relaxed, as if she had slept forever. When she opened her eyes, she wasn't surprised to find that John was not next to her. What she was surprised to find was a bouquet of pink roses next to her on his pillow. She picked them up and admired their beauty and sweet aroma, noticing that he had taken time to take off all the thorns in advance. Hopping out of bed, Abby strolled lazily downstairs and found her husband at the kitchen table, reading the newspaper. She came up behind him and draped her arms around his neck in a luxurious embrace, holding some of the rose blossoms in front of his face. She could tell he was smiling as she kissed his cheek.

     "And what, may I ask, might these be for?"

     "Oh don't tell me you've forgotten, Abby. We get to take our first baby picture today, remember?"

     Abby offered him a nervous smile as she came round to sit in his lap. "Of course; how could I forget?" Abby was, of course, elated to be about to see her baby for the first time, but the anxiety and weight of the occasion could be nerve-wracking!

     Carter noticed her uncertainty immediately, though, and rested her forehead on hers, looking reassuringly into her eyes. "Hey. It's going to be ok. You know that right?" She nodded, and he nodded back, making her giggle. "Ok. Hey Abby?"

"Yeah?"

Carter put on a playful mock-pained expression. "You're crushing my leg!"

She laughed harder, and, smacking him playfully, went upstairs to get ready.

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     As Abby reclined on the cold hospital bed in the OB ward, she took in her surroundings and felt completely at a loss. She couldn't count how many times she had assisted with a sonogram and watched peoples' reactions to seeing their baby for the first time. This time, though, everything seemed as unfamiliar as if she had never heard of an ultrasound and had never experienced these procedures. She tried not to look too overwhelmed, but by the wide-eyed look on Carter's face, she could tell he was probably feeling very much the same way. This time, it was her who squeezed his hand reassuringly and gave him the most confident smile she could muster.

     Just then, the doctor walked in and smiled brightly at the couple. "Hello Abby, John, I'm Dr. Roberson. First ultrasound today?" They both nodded as she prepared to take the baby's heart rate. She frowned contemplatively as she listened, then knitted her eyebrows and moved the instrument to a different position and listened intently again, two pairs of eyes following her every move.

Finally, Dr. Roberson began to speak slowly. "Well," she began, "fetal heard rate sounds good."

"But.?" Abby asked worriedly.

"Well," Dr. Roberson answered. "There are two."

"Two." Carter repeated, barely audible.
"Two." Abby also repeated, numbly. "But."

"That means." Carter continued. They exchanged bewildered looks.

"Yep," Dr. Roberson continued cheerily. "Congratulations; you're having--"

"Twins." Carter and Abby exclaimed in unison, before she could finish.

She nodded good naturedly at the two thunderstruck parents-to-be. "Let's have a look, shall we?"

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     Abby still had not spoken yet when they reached the jeep, and Carter had begun to get worried, wondering what was going on inside her head. The initial excitement of seeing their baby-babies (John could not help but smile as he corrected himself) on screen had wore off, and Abby was now left looking solemn. What she had left of her experience that day was a print-out-- a real picture that she could see and touch. It made the reality of the entire situation weigh down on her, as if she had only just now realized what was going to happen, and it was terrifying. She didn't even notice that her husband had not started the jeep but was instead sitting in the driver's seat studying her as she stared off into space and gripped the print out so hard that her knuckles were turning white.

     "Abby?"

     "Yeah." She answered more forcefully than she had meant to.

     "Everything ok sweetie? You know the appointment went well."

     "Yeah I know. Everything's good."

     "Then why are you staring as if you've just seen a ghost?"

     Abby turned to look at him and opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out but a heart-wrenching sob. "I just-this, this-you're right. Everybody's right. What if I can't do it? I'm not cut out to be a mother!"

    Carter knew that hormones were behind some of this outburst, and he also realized that the shock of having twins was, although delightful, also quite a large development to get use to, especially to someone with such a difficult past as Abby. He just wanted her to be able to have some confidence about doing what he knew was dearly important to her.  

"Abby, you are going to be a wonderful mother, and I know that for a fact. You are going to love these babies so much that you'll forget all these fears and insecurities. And anyway, I'm going to be here every step of the way. It's not like you'll be going into this alone."

"But Maggie always tells me that she loved me." Abby answered, still sobbing into his shirt. "And look how screwed up I turned out to be!"

"First of all, you're not screwed up- you're perfect. And second of all, just look at this picture. Look at it. You know that you love these babies more than anything in the world, don't you?"

"Yes," whispered Abby. "I do."

"And you know that I love them and would do anything for them." Abby nodded. "And you know that I love YOU, and would do anything for you, right?"

Abby smiled through her tears. "Yeah."

"Then that's all that matters, isn't it?

Abby sniffled and sat up straighter, giving him her most grateful look and replied, "Yeah."

     Carter smiled and stroked her cheek with his thumb, brushing away a stray tear. "We're going to be ok," he said. "I promise. Now come on, I'll take you to celebrate. Dinner-anything you want."

     Abby was silent for a moment as she sniffed and attempted to wipe away the last of her tears and then looked over at him and grinned mischievously. "Anything?"