*********
I am the person you passed on the street this morning
You looked at me but never saw the way I felt
I turned my head away hoping that you wouldn't notice
Did you even notice me as I walked by?
*********
As it turned out there was nothing wrong with my eyes as such but there was some sort of chemical in them that once cleaned out properly allowed my eyes to heal. I have no doubt I looked a little strange for a while. I continued the training programs and as always I had more dreams, some of them repeats of ones I'd had before. Before I even finished training Roland took me through the agent training program. He walked ahead of me.
"They are all our enemies. Unless they've been unplugged." He stopped and turned around so suddenly that I almost walked into him.
"Are you listening to me, or are you watching the clowns." A troupe of clowns had just passed us, to be honest I hadn't even noticed them, I was to busy trying to figure out what I had done wrong the last time.
"Take another look." He directed. I turned to stare down the barrel of a desert eagle. Without even stopping to think I whirled, grabbed Rolands arm and ran, dragging him along behind me as if he were a rag doll in the hands of a child. I leaped over the fountain; or tried to, instead I went splashing into it, and Roland landed on top of me. We both came up gasping for air, and the look on his face was almost comical. He pulled out his phone, and flipped it open then he tossed it over his shoulder back into the water. He looked up at the sky.
"AK, get us out of here." He said. A moment later we were back on the Hammer, AK unplugging us.
"What the hell did you do that for?" He asked.
"Because I don't really want to spend more time in a darkened contrust where there's no sound. Do you?"
"What are you talking about?" He said.
"When I ran through this program with Davon I turned around to find myself staring at a gun in the hands of an agent. Obviously I did something wrong, I figured that just running was a better bet than what I did last time."
"What did you do the last time?"
"I punched him, the agent I mean. Then I ran." AK snorted a laugh, but stopped when Roland gave him a look.
"You said something about being made to stay in the construct. What was that about?" Roland asked.
"I have no idea. Davon didn't tell me, and I didn't get the chance to ask, because that was when they went to see the Oracle." I replied. Roland look at AK and then they both turned to look at me. At which point I felt remarakably like a lab animal. They didn't say anything though and after a while I went back to my room.
(Few days later)
And then something happened and many people would probably not understand why I didn't say anything. Roland and Colt were in the Matrix at the time when it happened, so they saw, so did AK who was watching the Matrix. When they came out Roland turned on me angrily.
"You knew that was going to happen, didn't you?" He snapped.
"Yes." I replied no point in denying it.
"My office, now." He strode of in that direction, me following behind him.
"Why didn't you say anything?" He asked.
"Would you have believed me?"
"That seems to be what you say to everything! Just tell me why you didn't tell anyone you knew this was going to happen." He said. I sat down in the chair opposite his desk and let out a long sigh, before I finally met his eyes.
"Do you think this is easy for me? No, it's not. Let me share a little secret with you. I go to sleep at night and I dream, I see things that are all jumbled together. From that I have to sort out what is just a 'dream' and what's real. I have to figure out what has already happened, is happening or has yet to happen. And then I have to decide what it is that's meant to happen and what isn't and can be prevented, or at least changed around enough that the end result is not the same as what I see." I narrowed my eyes at him.
"Some things are meant to happen, this was one of them."
"More than two thousand people died. You're telling me that they were meant to?"
"That is exactly what I'm telling you. It's not easy accepting these things, but we have to."
"You could have stopped this from ever happening!" He growled. I raised my head and looked right at him.
"I'm not some kind of god where I can just run out and save everyone. Do you think that would be a good thing?"
"It would be better than all this death."
"Okay, let me put it to you this way. If I was all power full, I could go back in time and stop the war from ever happening. In fact why stop there, I'll go back and stop people from creating AI in the first place. No AI no war, right?"
"Where are you going with this?"
"If there were no AI and no war. In fact why not go all the way, I'll go back and stop anyone from building AI in the first place. Yes, if I tried hard enough I could probably stop all bad things from happening." I paused.
"Of course then we'd have to think about what would happen if I did do that. Without AI or the war, how would we be here? Would we even exist?" I could see a muscle popping in his jaw as he considered my words.
"You're right. It's just hard to accept that much death." He said.
"I know." I said. Imagine what it's like for me to see and hear it? I thought. But said nothing out loud. After a moment I stood up and left his office, heading for the mess hall. Colt and AK were already sitting at the long table.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Colt asked. I swung one leg over the bench and sat down next to AK, I dug my spork into the food and swallowed, taking my time before answering.
"Because it wouldn't have mattered anyway."
"How can you be so sure."
"I am. I've been seeing this stuff long enough to know what I can do about, I also know when I to stand back and let things run as they were meant to."
"You're beginning to sound like a machine."
"Your insults need a little work." I told him calmly, swallowing another mouthful. He stood up suddenly.
"You wouldn't know what an insult was, living all your life with the Oracle." He grinned across at me.
"I suppose now you're going to tell me that you knew I was going to say that."
"Nope. I am going to say that you're acting like a five year old though."
"You're one cold, unfeeling bitch, aintcha?" He leaped across the table at me. I let him drive us both to the floor, before touching his face lightly and only for a second or two. He reeled away from me.
"Jesus Christ! What did you do to me?!" He yelled. I stared him down calmly.
"What did you do to him?" AK asked.
"Gave him one of my dreams. Or to be more specific, the dream of those planes crashing into the towers." I walked over to Colt.
*********
It has been here for what feels an eternity
I saw the way you looked at me,
The way you shared my pain,
How was I to know what was going to happen?
*********
"Take a look and see what I see, Colt. If I am an 'unfeeling bitch' it is because I have to be." I was surprised when my voice actually came out sounding compassionate. I knew what he was going through, had these dreams myself often enough.
"Not as much fun as you thought it was, is it?" I asked. He was slowly coming around again, and when he looked at me it was with a new understanding in his eyes.
"How do you put up with them?"
"I don't have much choice in the matter. I put up with it because I have to. I'm sure that if I don't seem to behave like you think I should, you'll forgive me, sometimes I have other things on my mind."
"I can see why." He said, before walking out. I sat back down and continued eating.
"Can you do that to anyone?" AK asked.
"Yes." I replied.
"I want you to do it to me." He said.
"No."
"I want to know what it is you see."
"No, you don't."
"How do you know that I don't?" He asked.
"Because I know what it is I see, and believe me you don't want that." I replied. He shook his head.
"How can you say whether I do or don't want to know?" He asked. I looked up at him through narrowed eyes, then laughed mirthlessly. I swung around to face him.
"Let me tell you some of what I see in these dreams." I paused to gather my thoughts, then went on.
"I've had dreams from everything to people getting married to people dying. But we'll go with what happened today. I saw that happening, people in those towers as the planes crashed into them. Some of them made it out, yes. Those left inside were burned or crushed to death, I can hear their screams of pain as they try to get out and know that they won't make it. They know they're going to die, but they still try to get out." I stopped speaking long enough to see if I had gotten through to him.
"Perhaps you'd prefer to know a little about the war. Or as I like to call it 'Graphic History'. They can be educational as well as entertaining, if you're into watching pain and suffering. They blew people and machines up, cut them open and then leave them to bleed to death as they move onto the next person. And then of course is how they discovered that they could use us for energy. They kept us alive and drilled holes in our bodies and heads, while we were still conscious. They didn't much care how many they killed to get what they wanted, after all they had as many people as they could ever want and they knew how to breed more if they needed them. Adults, kids didn't matter, the point was that they needed power and they were willing to go to any lengths to get it. Wouldn't be so bad if I had picture and no sound. I can hear their screams, as they're tortured, begging for help from those who are in the same position as themselves and can no more help their own children as they can themselves. And then they spend the rest of their lives as batteries. Of course they eventually go insane from the agony they're in, but that's to be expected." I stopped when I saw the look on his face.
"Still so sure you want to know about my dreams?" I asked. He shook his head almost violently.
"No, I think that what you told me is enough."
"That's what I thought you'd say."
"How do you..."
"Stay sane?" At his answering nod
"Like I just told Colt, I don't have any choice." I said. Everyone has their own burdens in life and this is mine. I thought. That didn't make me like it any more.
"Ready to get on with it?" He asked. I nodded and we stood up heading to the main deck where he plugged me in again.
(Second Person POV)
AK jumped onto the seat and instantly started loading up the last number of martial art programs. Then he sat back and watched, there wasn't really much else for him to do. After about half an hour and trying to load the same program twice. Her eyes opened but she seemed to be staring at nothing and when she started speaking AK jumped.
"He won't. Goddamn it, Morpheus, you ain't never gonna change. Shit, I'll do it, just to see what Deadbolt does to you. You got 36 hours." She said. AK stared at her for a moment.
"Captain, you better get up here."
"What is it, AK?" Roland asked.
"I...uh...don't really know, sir." AK answered. A while later Roland arrived on the main deck.
"What's going on?" He asked. AK looked at him from where he stood over Icegirl.
"I don't know, it's like she's having a conversation that a number of different people are having, but she's doing all the talking." He replied, even as he answered she started speaking again.
"These geotherms confirm the last transmission of the Osiris. The machines are digging. They're boring from the surface straight down to Zion. Mutha... They'll avoid the entire perimeter defense. How fast are they moving? Control estimates their descent at a hundred meters an hour. Shit. How deep are they? Almost two thousand meters. What about the scans from the Osiris? They can't be accurate. They may be. What? It's not possible. That'd mean there are a quarter of a million sentinels out there. That's right. That can't be. Why not? A sentinel for every man, woman, and child in Zion. That sounds exactly like the thinking of a machine to me. Morpheus, glad you could join us. Niobe. My apologies to all. As you are undoubtedly aware, it has become increasingly difficult to locate a secure broadcast position. Squiddies got all our best spots. Mainlines are crawling with them. And if Niobe's right, in 72 hours there's gonna be a quarter of a million more. What are we gonna do about it? We're gonna do what Commander Lock ordered us to do. We'll evacuate broadcast level and return to Zion. And does the Commander have a plan for stopping 250,000 sentinels? A strategy is still being formulated. I'm sure it is. What do you think we should do, Morpheus? I think we should proceed as ordered, however... What is it? Neo: I don't know. I must ask one of you for help. Some of you believe as I believe. Some of you do not. But those of you that do, know we are nearing the end of our struggle. The prophecy will be fulfilled soon, but before it can be, the Oracle must be consulted. If we return and recharge now, we can be back with inside 36 hours. Well before the machines have reached this depth. Do you understand what you're asking? I am asking that one ship remain here in our place just in case that the Oracle should attempt to contact us. Bullshit, you're asking for one of us to disobey a direct order. That's right, I am. But we well know that the reason most of us are here is because of our affinity for disobedience. And what happens when you get back to Zion and the Commander throws you in the stockade? He won't. Goddamn it, Morpheus, you ain't never gonna change. Shit, I'll do it, just to see wha..." she stopped talking and blinked a few times. She looked from AK to Roland.
*********
Did you see the pain in my eyes?
The pain I tried to hide
How many times did I go over that last conversation?
The last time we spoke we argued,
*********
"What happened?" She asked. Both Roland and AK were silent for a few moments.
"You were...dreaming out loud." Roland finally said.
"Which one was it this time?" She asked, as AK unplugged her.
"Something about geotherms, the Osiris. You mentioned two captains; Morpheus and Niobe." Roland told her. She nodded, standing up.
"The captains meeting."
"What?"
"That's what I call it, had that dream before."
"When did that happen?"
"It hasn't, not yet."
"How do you know that?"
"Do you remember having been a part of that conversation?"
"No."
"Then it hasn't happened yet, because you are there for it." She told him. Both AK and Roland stared at her for a moment.
"When does it happen?"
"I don't know that, I'm still working on it."
"It would help if we knew when this happens, you mentioned something about machines digging down to Zion. If we knew when it was going to happen we could be better prepared for it."
"I know that. Why do you think it's the one dream that I actually work the hardest on?" She snapped back, a little irritably.
"I'm going to get some sleep." With that she walked away. AK watched her go.
"I don't want you to mention this 'dream' of hers to anyone else. Do you understand, AK?" Roland said.
"Yes, sir." AK said.
*********
We fought over something so small and insignificant
How many times have I prayed for that morning to come again?
To get the chance to make amends
To tell you how much you really mean
I'm sorry, I love you I didn't mean to fight with you
*********
I am the person you passed on the street this morning
You looked at me but never saw the way I felt
I turned my head away hoping that you wouldn't notice
Did you even notice me as I walked by?
*********
As it turned out there was nothing wrong with my eyes as such but there was some sort of chemical in them that once cleaned out properly allowed my eyes to heal. I have no doubt I looked a little strange for a while. I continued the training programs and as always I had more dreams, some of them repeats of ones I'd had before. Before I even finished training Roland took me through the agent training program. He walked ahead of me.
"They are all our enemies. Unless they've been unplugged." He stopped and turned around so suddenly that I almost walked into him.
"Are you listening to me, or are you watching the clowns." A troupe of clowns had just passed us, to be honest I hadn't even noticed them, I was to busy trying to figure out what I had done wrong the last time.
"Take another look." He directed. I turned to stare down the barrel of a desert eagle. Without even stopping to think I whirled, grabbed Rolands arm and ran, dragging him along behind me as if he were a rag doll in the hands of a child. I leaped over the fountain; or tried to, instead I went splashing into it, and Roland landed on top of me. We both came up gasping for air, and the look on his face was almost comical. He pulled out his phone, and flipped it open then he tossed it over his shoulder back into the water. He looked up at the sky.
"AK, get us out of here." He said. A moment later we were back on the Hammer, AK unplugging us.
"What the hell did you do that for?" He asked.
"Because I don't really want to spend more time in a darkened contrust where there's no sound. Do you?"
"What are you talking about?" He said.
"When I ran through this program with Davon I turned around to find myself staring at a gun in the hands of an agent. Obviously I did something wrong, I figured that just running was a better bet than what I did last time."
"What did you do the last time?"
"I punched him, the agent I mean. Then I ran." AK snorted a laugh, but stopped when Roland gave him a look.
"You said something about being made to stay in the construct. What was that about?" Roland asked.
"I have no idea. Davon didn't tell me, and I didn't get the chance to ask, because that was when they went to see the Oracle." I replied. Roland look at AK and then they both turned to look at me. At which point I felt remarakably like a lab animal. They didn't say anything though and after a while I went back to my room.
(Few days later)
And then something happened and many people would probably not understand why I didn't say anything. Roland and Colt were in the Matrix at the time when it happened, so they saw, so did AK who was watching the Matrix. When they came out Roland turned on me angrily.
"You knew that was going to happen, didn't you?" He snapped.
"Yes." I replied no point in denying it.
"My office, now." He strode of in that direction, me following behind him.
"Why didn't you say anything?" He asked.
"Would you have believed me?"
"That seems to be what you say to everything! Just tell me why you didn't tell anyone you knew this was going to happen." He said. I sat down in the chair opposite his desk and let out a long sigh, before I finally met his eyes.
"Do you think this is easy for me? No, it's not. Let me share a little secret with you. I go to sleep at night and I dream, I see things that are all jumbled together. From that I have to sort out what is just a 'dream' and what's real. I have to figure out what has already happened, is happening or has yet to happen. And then I have to decide what it is that's meant to happen and what isn't and can be prevented, or at least changed around enough that the end result is not the same as what I see." I narrowed my eyes at him.
"Some things are meant to happen, this was one of them."
"More than two thousand people died. You're telling me that they were meant to?"
"That is exactly what I'm telling you. It's not easy accepting these things, but we have to."
"You could have stopped this from ever happening!" He growled. I raised my head and looked right at him.
"I'm not some kind of god where I can just run out and save everyone. Do you think that would be a good thing?"
"It would be better than all this death."
"Okay, let me put it to you this way. If I was all power full, I could go back in time and stop the war from ever happening. In fact why stop there, I'll go back and stop people from creating AI in the first place. No AI no war, right?"
"Where are you going with this?"
"If there were no AI and no war. In fact why not go all the way, I'll go back and stop anyone from building AI in the first place. Yes, if I tried hard enough I could probably stop all bad things from happening." I paused.
"Of course then we'd have to think about what would happen if I did do that. Without AI or the war, how would we be here? Would we even exist?" I could see a muscle popping in his jaw as he considered my words.
"You're right. It's just hard to accept that much death." He said.
"I know." I said. Imagine what it's like for me to see and hear it? I thought. But said nothing out loud. After a moment I stood up and left his office, heading for the mess hall. Colt and AK were already sitting at the long table.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Colt asked. I swung one leg over the bench and sat down next to AK, I dug my spork into the food and swallowed, taking my time before answering.
"Because it wouldn't have mattered anyway."
"How can you be so sure."
"I am. I've been seeing this stuff long enough to know what I can do about, I also know when I to stand back and let things run as they were meant to."
"You're beginning to sound like a machine."
"Your insults need a little work." I told him calmly, swallowing another mouthful. He stood up suddenly.
"You wouldn't know what an insult was, living all your life with the Oracle." He grinned across at me.
"I suppose now you're going to tell me that you knew I was going to say that."
"Nope. I am going to say that you're acting like a five year old though."
"You're one cold, unfeeling bitch, aintcha?" He leaped across the table at me. I let him drive us both to the floor, before touching his face lightly and only for a second or two. He reeled away from me.
"Jesus Christ! What did you do to me?!" He yelled. I stared him down calmly.
"What did you do to him?" AK asked.
"Gave him one of my dreams. Or to be more specific, the dream of those planes crashing into the towers." I walked over to Colt.
*********
It has been here for what feels an eternity
I saw the way you looked at me,
The way you shared my pain,
How was I to know what was going to happen?
*********
"Take a look and see what I see, Colt. If I am an 'unfeeling bitch' it is because I have to be." I was surprised when my voice actually came out sounding compassionate. I knew what he was going through, had these dreams myself often enough.
"Not as much fun as you thought it was, is it?" I asked. He was slowly coming around again, and when he looked at me it was with a new understanding in his eyes.
"How do you put up with them?"
"I don't have much choice in the matter. I put up with it because I have to. I'm sure that if I don't seem to behave like you think I should, you'll forgive me, sometimes I have other things on my mind."
"I can see why." He said, before walking out. I sat back down and continued eating.
"Can you do that to anyone?" AK asked.
"Yes." I replied.
"I want you to do it to me." He said.
"No."
"I want to know what it is you see."
"No, you don't."
"How do you know that I don't?" He asked.
"Because I know what it is I see, and believe me you don't want that." I replied. He shook his head.
"How can you say whether I do or don't want to know?" He asked. I looked up at him through narrowed eyes, then laughed mirthlessly. I swung around to face him.
"Let me tell you some of what I see in these dreams." I paused to gather my thoughts, then went on.
"I've had dreams from everything to people getting married to people dying. But we'll go with what happened today. I saw that happening, people in those towers as the planes crashed into them. Some of them made it out, yes. Those left inside were burned or crushed to death, I can hear their screams of pain as they try to get out and know that they won't make it. They know they're going to die, but they still try to get out." I stopped speaking long enough to see if I had gotten through to him.
"Perhaps you'd prefer to know a little about the war. Or as I like to call it 'Graphic History'. They can be educational as well as entertaining, if you're into watching pain and suffering. They blew people and machines up, cut them open and then leave them to bleed to death as they move onto the next person. And then of course is how they discovered that they could use us for energy. They kept us alive and drilled holes in our bodies and heads, while we were still conscious. They didn't much care how many they killed to get what they wanted, after all they had as many people as they could ever want and they knew how to breed more if they needed them. Adults, kids didn't matter, the point was that they needed power and they were willing to go to any lengths to get it. Wouldn't be so bad if I had picture and no sound. I can hear their screams, as they're tortured, begging for help from those who are in the same position as themselves and can no more help their own children as they can themselves. And then they spend the rest of their lives as batteries. Of course they eventually go insane from the agony they're in, but that's to be expected." I stopped when I saw the look on his face.
"Still so sure you want to know about my dreams?" I asked. He shook his head almost violently.
"No, I think that what you told me is enough."
"That's what I thought you'd say."
"How do you..."
"Stay sane?" At his answering nod
"Like I just told Colt, I don't have any choice." I said. Everyone has their own burdens in life and this is mine. I thought. That didn't make me like it any more.
"Ready to get on with it?" He asked. I nodded and we stood up heading to the main deck where he plugged me in again.
(Second Person POV)
AK jumped onto the seat and instantly started loading up the last number of martial art programs. Then he sat back and watched, there wasn't really much else for him to do. After about half an hour and trying to load the same program twice. Her eyes opened but she seemed to be staring at nothing and when she started speaking AK jumped.
"He won't. Goddamn it, Morpheus, you ain't never gonna change. Shit, I'll do it, just to see what Deadbolt does to you. You got 36 hours." She said. AK stared at her for a moment.
"Captain, you better get up here."
"What is it, AK?" Roland asked.
"I...uh...don't really know, sir." AK answered. A while later Roland arrived on the main deck.
"What's going on?" He asked. AK looked at him from where he stood over Icegirl.
"I don't know, it's like she's having a conversation that a number of different people are having, but she's doing all the talking." He replied, even as he answered she started speaking again.
"These geotherms confirm the last transmission of the Osiris. The machines are digging. They're boring from the surface straight down to Zion. Mutha... They'll avoid the entire perimeter defense. How fast are they moving? Control estimates their descent at a hundred meters an hour. Shit. How deep are they? Almost two thousand meters. What about the scans from the Osiris? They can't be accurate. They may be. What? It's not possible. That'd mean there are a quarter of a million sentinels out there. That's right. That can't be. Why not? A sentinel for every man, woman, and child in Zion. That sounds exactly like the thinking of a machine to me. Morpheus, glad you could join us. Niobe. My apologies to all. As you are undoubtedly aware, it has become increasingly difficult to locate a secure broadcast position. Squiddies got all our best spots. Mainlines are crawling with them. And if Niobe's right, in 72 hours there's gonna be a quarter of a million more. What are we gonna do about it? We're gonna do what Commander Lock ordered us to do. We'll evacuate broadcast level and return to Zion. And does the Commander have a plan for stopping 250,000 sentinels? A strategy is still being formulated. I'm sure it is. What do you think we should do, Morpheus? I think we should proceed as ordered, however... What is it? Neo: I don't know. I must ask one of you for help. Some of you believe as I believe. Some of you do not. But those of you that do, know we are nearing the end of our struggle. The prophecy will be fulfilled soon, but before it can be, the Oracle must be consulted. If we return and recharge now, we can be back with inside 36 hours. Well before the machines have reached this depth. Do you understand what you're asking? I am asking that one ship remain here in our place just in case that the Oracle should attempt to contact us. Bullshit, you're asking for one of us to disobey a direct order. That's right, I am. But we well know that the reason most of us are here is because of our affinity for disobedience. And what happens when you get back to Zion and the Commander throws you in the stockade? He won't. Goddamn it, Morpheus, you ain't never gonna change. Shit, I'll do it, just to see wha..." she stopped talking and blinked a few times. She looked from AK to Roland.
*********
Did you see the pain in my eyes?
The pain I tried to hide
How many times did I go over that last conversation?
The last time we spoke we argued,
*********
"What happened?" She asked. Both Roland and AK were silent for a few moments.
"You were...dreaming out loud." Roland finally said.
"Which one was it this time?" She asked, as AK unplugged her.
"Something about geotherms, the Osiris. You mentioned two captains; Morpheus and Niobe." Roland told her. She nodded, standing up.
"The captains meeting."
"What?"
"That's what I call it, had that dream before."
"When did that happen?"
"It hasn't, not yet."
"How do you know that?"
"Do you remember having been a part of that conversation?"
"No."
"Then it hasn't happened yet, because you are there for it." She told him. Both AK and Roland stared at her for a moment.
"When does it happen?"
"I don't know that, I'm still working on it."
"It would help if we knew when this happens, you mentioned something about machines digging down to Zion. If we knew when it was going to happen we could be better prepared for it."
"I know that. Why do you think it's the one dream that I actually work the hardest on?" She snapped back, a little irritably.
"I'm going to get some sleep." With that she walked away. AK watched her go.
"I don't want you to mention this 'dream' of hers to anyone else. Do you understand, AK?" Roland said.
"Yes, sir." AK said.
*********
We fought over something so small and insignificant
How many times have I prayed for that morning to come again?
To get the chance to make amends
To tell you how much you really mean
I'm sorry, I love you I didn't mean to fight with you
*********