Thanx to Scarlet Faerie for letting me use her poem 'Screaming'.
*********
As my soul tears I feel the rain fall
Drowning me in a world of chaos
This is the last time I scream
The last time I look upon the wretched dawn
*********
I lay on the bed, one arm slung over my eyes. I knew that I was supposed to be up on the main deck, getting yet more training, this time in hand to hand combat. I had a dream last night that I have not had before, and now I'm trying to sort out in my head what I should do about it. I've lain here for long enough, I get up and go to the captains' office, knocking softly on the door.
"Come in." His voice comes through the door. I turn the wheel and push the door open stepping inside and closing it quietly behind me. I wait for him to look up from the papers he is studying.
"Ice, what is it?" He asks.
"You are planning to go into the Matrix today." I say.
"How did you know about that?" He asks.
"One of my dreams." I reply.
"Yes, we are."
"Then there is something you need to know. If you bring Stahl with you he will die." I say. He sits back in his chair and I know he his seriously considering my words.
"You know this for sure?" He asks me.
"Yes, he will be shot in the back, a through and through wound. It will sever his spinal cord just below his neck."
"Is there any other way to stop this?" He asks. I shake my head.
"I don't know. All I do know for certain is that he will die, if you replace him with someone else they may die in his place. If you don't bring him with you then someone else may die in his place." I say.
"What would you do?" He asks.
"That's why I told you about it. I do not know what to do, or even if anything can be done. The question that you need to answer now is 'who are you willing to lose instead of Stahl?'" I say. I turn to leave and then turn back to him.
"No one said these decisions were easy. Every decision we make has a consequence." I then leave him alone with his own thoughts and go up to the main deck. You're thinking that I'm heartless, that I do not care about others. You could not be further from the truth. But like I told AK and Colt yesterday, I cannot afford to let personal feelings get in the way, to do that would mean insanity for me and I cannot let that happen.
"You're late." AK says to me when I arrive.
"I know. I'm sorry. Shall we get started then?" I ask him. I sit down and he comes over to plug me in. Moments later information is flooding through my head. First off hand to hand when someone else has a weapon, blocks, traps, strikes. This stuff would have been useful when I'd decided to go for street fighting a few years ago. I had bee fourteen when I first tried that, got my ass kicked first few times, but with time I had gotten better. And then one day Seraph had followed and caught me in the act, I hadn't been allowed to go back again. I had been very good though, I knew that. Most of what I was learning was martial arts hand to hand though, street fighting is a little more to the point. Basically in street fighting there are no rules, you hit first or you go down, it's as simple as that. Then AK started loading me up against computer enemies. I don't know how many levels there were, but he started me out at the lowest level. After beating the level fifth one I looked up at the ceiling.
*********
Can no one hear me?
Can no one hear my dying heart?
*********
"Come on, AK. Give me a bit of a challenge at least." I said.
"Level fifteen?" He asked.
"Load it up and we'll see." I told him. Then I was in what looked like a long, dark corridor, pillars running the length of both sides.
"Nice shirt." AK says. I looked down at my black jeans and a red T-shirt with green words saying 'I'm totally sane, the voices in my head told me so'.
"I got bored of gray." I told him.
"There are weapons in there somewhere. You just have to find them." AK says.
"Don't need them." Then I start moving quietly down the corridor, hands held loosely at my side. I can see the shadow on the wall, it isn't mine. A woman comes out from behind one of the pillars, nunchukas in both hands, she whirls them and moves to strike, I drop to one knee and slam my fist into her stomach, she falls back, dropping one of her weapons and I move in on her a roundhouse kick and she disappears into nothingness. I continue on, before I get very far a man comes at me this time he has a katana sword in his hands. I hold my ground until he's right in front of me and swinging the sword down at my head, I halt the blade between my hands and then with a quick movement I snap it in two. I take a quick step back and plunge the broken end of the blade into his chest and he to joins the woman.
"Good work. Next level?" AK asks.
"Sure." I answer. This time it's a city street, people are walking past me and I know any one of them could be a potential enemy. One of the people, dressed in a smart business suit points a glock at my head, I reach out and grab his hand, forcing it back on him then pull the trigger twice. Before he even disappears another one arrives, this time a man in a chef's outfit he holds a meat cleaver, or at least I think that's what it is. He stabs at my chest, when I reach to grab him though he moves back out of my way. Now it's getting interesting. I think to myself. I follow him, but don't move to close, he comes at me again and this time I grab his hand squeezing his wrist until he drops the cleaver, then I smash my other hand into his face. After that AK loads up more levels, each one tougher than the one before it. After a while though he brings me back out, I give him a mock look of dismay.
"Aww I wanted to do more." I tell him. He shakes his head and grins down at me.
"That was the last one. How about two of you go in?" He asks. It's then that I see the captain standing behind him.
"Why not." I reply. Roland takes one of the dentists-chairs-thingy and AK plugs him in. We're back in the same hallway that I was in before. Roland stands beside me in a dark suit and wine colored tie. I'm dressed in the same jeans and T-shirt, but wearing a denim jacket over it.
*********
With every life taken it blackens
With every light put out it drags me down
*********
"There are various different programs in this one, as well as agents. There one stash of weapons here somewhere, AK moves it around every few minutes so it might be hard to find. One rule, if you get shot you are automatically jacked out." Roland tells me.
"Okay, are we meant to be fighting to-" before I can finish the question someone fires a gun at us and we are forced to split up anyway. I didn't know who was shooting at us, probably an agent I figured. I landed on my feet and ran down the corridor, using the pillars as shields from whoever was shooting at me and ran right into the chef and his cleaver; I kicked him in the stomach and grabbed his cleaver slashing it down across his chest. Before he even disappeared I turned, cleaver still in my hand, I could see Roland on the far side, moving between the pillars. The agent or whomever it was shooting at him now, I looked back along the path where he'd come from, where the person shooting was. I had been right it had been an agent, I stepped out from behind the pillar and raised the hand with the cleaver, which I was now holding between thumb and forefinger, sighting carefully I threw it at the agent and he disappeared in a green shower of code. I duck back behind my pillar, bits of it coming off as someone else started shooting at me. Ahead I can see a long table with various different weapons laid out on it, I run the full length and just as I reach it the table starts to disappear, I throw myself across the table and a few guns fall of it, a colt rifle, a shotgun, a deagle and two usp pistols, as well as having scattered ammo for them. I snatch up one of the usps and hold it in my right hand, as I gather up the others with my left hand. I tuck the deagle and both usps into the waistband of my jeans, and hold the colt in my other hand; I pick up the shotgun as well, even though I don't really know how to use it very well. Someone starts shooting at me again, but I can't see from where. I press myself up against the pillar, across the way I can see Roland fighting two of the programs, I put down the shotgun, drop to one knee and aim carefully with the colt. Pulling the trigger one of the programs fall, I turn to aim at the other one, but Roland takes him out before I have the chance. I move to slide the shotgun across to him and it skids across the floor, as he turns I can feel the cold metal of a gun pressed up against the back of my head, I freeze.
"Well at least you watched your partners back. But who watches yours?" A voice asked. Instead of answering I drop to the floor, one hand going for the pistols in my jeans, I yank out the usp and press it into the stomach of the agent who had been about to shoot me. I pull the trigger and he falls backwards.
"I do." I answer. Roland helped me up off the floor.
"Get us out of here, AK." He said. Then AK was pulling the plug out of the back of my head.
"Good work. But you should have been more careful." Roland sits up on the edge of his chair. I shrug.
"I'm still alive aren't I?" I ask.
"Yes, but if that was a real agent he would just pull the trigger without saying that stuff. That program is to show how well you can work with someone else, if you can be counted on to cover their back when they need it. You did that very well, but you forgot about yourself in the process." He said.
"Yeah, I know that. The agent said that at least I guarded my partners back, but why weren't you watching mine?" She asked one eyebrow raised in question. He shook his head and laughed a little at that.
"Good point, maybe I did get a little caught up in my own fights." Roland said. Then he turned to AK.
"What's your opinion?" He asked. AK's eyes slid over to Ice, then back to Roland.
"She's good, and I mean very good. She ran through the combat practice programs better than anyone I've seen. And she's very good at handweapons, I don't just mean guns, but knives, nunchukas, sais you name it. I think you've got your back covered, captain." AK said.
"Good, we'll be going in a few minutes, get them up here." Roland told AK. A few moments later Colt and Stahl had arrived on the main deck. Roland didn't mention my dream to either of them just informed them of the basics of this mission and then they went in. I hovered behind AK, knowing that Stahl was going to die and not really wanting to be there, and yet another part of me knew that I couldn't leave.
"So they're going to try and make contact with someone who we're going to wake up?" I asked him.
"Yep, a fourteen year old kid, we don't know whether he'll take the red pill or not. It's always like that." AK told me.
"How many times have people taken the blue pill?" I asked.
"A few times, four I think since I started as operator here three years ago." He replied. He sat back in his chair for a moment.
"Now we just have to wait until the captain tells us to-shit!" He hit the keys rapidly.
"The kid turned into an agent, captain...Yeah I'm ready for you." He said. I turned away from AK, knowing that the time for Stahl's death was getting closer. Stahl would be the last one out, he was more skilled with guns than Colt was, and as he turned to answer the phone he would be shot. I could remember the dream as vividly as when I had it last night. I had been standing in the same room as the phone, watching first Colt, then Roland escape back here to the real world, and then Stahl reaching for the phone and the bullet slamming into his back and out the front of his chest, spraying his blood across my face as he slowly collapsed, he didn't die straight away of course. But I could see the agent bending over him.
"You are finally dead, Mr Reese." The agent had said to him. I came back to reality as AK cursed loudly again, and I knew that Stahl was dead. I pulled the plug from the back of Rolands head and he stared up at me, I nodded ever so slightly to tell him that yes; Stahl was dead.
"Goddammit!" He says.
"Some things are meant to happen." I tell him.
"Doesn't make it right." He says.
"I never said I liked it." I whisper, he barely hears me, but I think he understands what I mean now.
*********
Happiness never existed
And hope faded long before life began
Now I only wish to sleep forever
And find eternal peace
*********
*********
As my soul tears I feel the rain fall
Drowning me in a world of chaos
This is the last time I scream
The last time I look upon the wretched dawn
*********
I lay on the bed, one arm slung over my eyes. I knew that I was supposed to be up on the main deck, getting yet more training, this time in hand to hand combat. I had a dream last night that I have not had before, and now I'm trying to sort out in my head what I should do about it. I've lain here for long enough, I get up and go to the captains' office, knocking softly on the door.
"Come in." His voice comes through the door. I turn the wheel and push the door open stepping inside and closing it quietly behind me. I wait for him to look up from the papers he is studying.
"Ice, what is it?" He asks.
"You are planning to go into the Matrix today." I say.
"How did you know about that?" He asks.
"One of my dreams." I reply.
"Yes, we are."
"Then there is something you need to know. If you bring Stahl with you he will die." I say. He sits back in his chair and I know he his seriously considering my words.
"You know this for sure?" He asks me.
"Yes, he will be shot in the back, a through and through wound. It will sever his spinal cord just below his neck."
"Is there any other way to stop this?" He asks. I shake my head.
"I don't know. All I do know for certain is that he will die, if you replace him with someone else they may die in his place. If you don't bring him with you then someone else may die in his place." I say.
"What would you do?" He asks.
"That's why I told you about it. I do not know what to do, or even if anything can be done. The question that you need to answer now is 'who are you willing to lose instead of Stahl?'" I say. I turn to leave and then turn back to him.
"No one said these decisions were easy. Every decision we make has a consequence." I then leave him alone with his own thoughts and go up to the main deck. You're thinking that I'm heartless, that I do not care about others. You could not be further from the truth. But like I told AK and Colt yesterday, I cannot afford to let personal feelings get in the way, to do that would mean insanity for me and I cannot let that happen.
"You're late." AK says to me when I arrive.
"I know. I'm sorry. Shall we get started then?" I ask him. I sit down and he comes over to plug me in. Moments later information is flooding through my head. First off hand to hand when someone else has a weapon, blocks, traps, strikes. This stuff would have been useful when I'd decided to go for street fighting a few years ago. I had bee fourteen when I first tried that, got my ass kicked first few times, but with time I had gotten better. And then one day Seraph had followed and caught me in the act, I hadn't been allowed to go back again. I had been very good though, I knew that. Most of what I was learning was martial arts hand to hand though, street fighting is a little more to the point. Basically in street fighting there are no rules, you hit first or you go down, it's as simple as that. Then AK started loading me up against computer enemies. I don't know how many levels there were, but he started me out at the lowest level. After beating the level fifth one I looked up at the ceiling.
*********
Can no one hear me?
Can no one hear my dying heart?
*********
"Come on, AK. Give me a bit of a challenge at least." I said.
"Level fifteen?" He asked.
"Load it up and we'll see." I told him. Then I was in what looked like a long, dark corridor, pillars running the length of both sides.
"Nice shirt." AK says. I looked down at my black jeans and a red T-shirt with green words saying 'I'm totally sane, the voices in my head told me so'.
"I got bored of gray." I told him.
"There are weapons in there somewhere. You just have to find them." AK says.
"Don't need them." Then I start moving quietly down the corridor, hands held loosely at my side. I can see the shadow on the wall, it isn't mine. A woman comes out from behind one of the pillars, nunchukas in both hands, she whirls them and moves to strike, I drop to one knee and slam my fist into her stomach, she falls back, dropping one of her weapons and I move in on her a roundhouse kick and she disappears into nothingness. I continue on, before I get very far a man comes at me this time he has a katana sword in his hands. I hold my ground until he's right in front of me and swinging the sword down at my head, I halt the blade between my hands and then with a quick movement I snap it in two. I take a quick step back and plunge the broken end of the blade into his chest and he to joins the woman.
"Good work. Next level?" AK asks.
"Sure." I answer. This time it's a city street, people are walking past me and I know any one of them could be a potential enemy. One of the people, dressed in a smart business suit points a glock at my head, I reach out and grab his hand, forcing it back on him then pull the trigger twice. Before he even disappears another one arrives, this time a man in a chef's outfit he holds a meat cleaver, or at least I think that's what it is. He stabs at my chest, when I reach to grab him though he moves back out of my way. Now it's getting interesting. I think to myself. I follow him, but don't move to close, he comes at me again and this time I grab his hand squeezing his wrist until he drops the cleaver, then I smash my other hand into his face. After that AK loads up more levels, each one tougher than the one before it. After a while though he brings me back out, I give him a mock look of dismay.
"Aww I wanted to do more." I tell him. He shakes his head and grins down at me.
"That was the last one. How about two of you go in?" He asks. It's then that I see the captain standing behind him.
"Why not." I reply. Roland takes one of the dentists-chairs-thingy and AK plugs him in. We're back in the same hallway that I was in before. Roland stands beside me in a dark suit and wine colored tie. I'm dressed in the same jeans and T-shirt, but wearing a denim jacket over it.
*********
With every life taken it blackens
With every light put out it drags me down
*********
"There are various different programs in this one, as well as agents. There one stash of weapons here somewhere, AK moves it around every few minutes so it might be hard to find. One rule, if you get shot you are automatically jacked out." Roland tells me.
"Okay, are we meant to be fighting to-" before I can finish the question someone fires a gun at us and we are forced to split up anyway. I didn't know who was shooting at us, probably an agent I figured. I landed on my feet and ran down the corridor, using the pillars as shields from whoever was shooting at me and ran right into the chef and his cleaver; I kicked him in the stomach and grabbed his cleaver slashing it down across his chest. Before he even disappeared I turned, cleaver still in my hand, I could see Roland on the far side, moving between the pillars. The agent or whomever it was shooting at him now, I looked back along the path where he'd come from, where the person shooting was. I had been right it had been an agent, I stepped out from behind the pillar and raised the hand with the cleaver, which I was now holding between thumb and forefinger, sighting carefully I threw it at the agent and he disappeared in a green shower of code. I duck back behind my pillar, bits of it coming off as someone else started shooting at me. Ahead I can see a long table with various different weapons laid out on it, I run the full length and just as I reach it the table starts to disappear, I throw myself across the table and a few guns fall of it, a colt rifle, a shotgun, a deagle and two usp pistols, as well as having scattered ammo for them. I snatch up one of the usps and hold it in my right hand, as I gather up the others with my left hand. I tuck the deagle and both usps into the waistband of my jeans, and hold the colt in my other hand; I pick up the shotgun as well, even though I don't really know how to use it very well. Someone starts shooting at me again, but I can't see from where. I press myself up against the pillar, across the way I can see Roland fighting two of the programs, I put down the shotgun, drop to one knee and aim carefully with the colt. Pulling the trigger one of the programs fall, I turn to aim at the other one, but Roland takes him out before I have the chance. I move to slide the shotgun across to him and it skids across the floor, as he turns I can feel the cold metal of a gun pressed up against the back of my head, I freeze.
"Well at least you watched your partners back. But who watches yours?" A voice asked. Instead of answering I drop to the floor, one hand going for the pistols in my jeans, I yank out the usp and press it into the stomach of the agent who had been about to shoot me. I pull the trigger and he falls backwards.
"I do." I answer. Roland helped me up off the floor.
"Get us out of here, AK." He said. Then AK was pulling the plug out of the back of my head.
"Good work. But you should have been more careful." Roland sits up on the edge of his chair. I shrug.
"I'm still alive aren't I?" I ask.
"Yes, but if that was a real agent he would just pull the trigger without saying that stuff. That program is to show how well you can work with someone else, if you can be counted on to cover their back when they need it. You did that very well, but you forgot about yourself in the process." He said.
"Yeah, I know that. The agent said that at least I guarded my partners back, but why weren't you watching mine?" She asked one eyebrow raised in question. He shook his head and laughed a little at that.
"Good point, maybe I did get a little caught up in my own fights." Roland said. Then he turned to AK.
"What's your opinion?" He asked. AK's eyes slid over to Ice, then back to Roland.
"She's good, and I mean very good. She ran through the combat practice programs better than anyone I've seen. And she's very good at handweapons, I don't just mean guns, but knives, nunchukas, sais you name it. I think you've got your back covered, captain." AK said.
"Good, we'll be going in a few minutes, get them up here." Roland told AK. A few moments later Colt and Stahl had arrived on the main deck. Roland didn't mention my dream to either of them just informed them of the basics of this mission and then they went in. I hovered behind AK, knowing that Stahl was going to die and not really wanting to be there, and yet another part of me knew that I couldn't leave.
"So they're going to try and make contact with someone who we're going to wake up?" I asked him.
"Yep, a fourteen year old kid, we don't know whether he'll take the red pill or not. It's always like that." AK told me.
"How many times have people taken the blue pill?" I asked.
"A few times, four I think since I started as operator here three years ago." He replied. He sat back in his chair for a moment.
"Now we just have to wait until the captain tells us to-shit!" He hit the keys rapidly.
"The kid turned into an agent, captain...Yeah I'm ready for you." He said. I turned away from AK, knowing that the time for Stahl's death was getting closer. Stahl would be the last one out, he was more skilled with guns than Colt was, and as he turned to answer the phone he would be shot. I could remember the dream as vividly as when I had it last night. I had been standing in the same room as the phone, watching first Colt, then Roland escape back here to the real world, and then Stahl reaching for the phone and the bullet slamming into his back and out the front of his chest, spraying his blood across my face as he slowly collapsed, he didn't die straight away of course. But I could see the agent bending over him.
"You are finally dead, Mr Reese." The agent had said to him. I came back to reality as AK cursed loudly again, and I knew that Stahl was dead. I pulled the plug from the back of Rolands head and he stared up at me, I nodded ever so slightly to tell him that yes; Stahl was dead.
"Goddammit!" He says.
"Some things are meant to happen." I tell him.
"Doesn't make it right." He says.
"I never said I liked it." I whisper, he barely hears me, but I think he understands what I mean now.
*********
Happiness never existed
And hope faded long before life began
Now I only wish to sleep forever
And find eternal peace
*********