Author's note: well, this is my first fanfic…umm…I really don't know if you'll like it… I hope you will…it's about Draco's feeling…it's his unrequited love for Hermione…the one he calls mudblood…anyways, I wrote this story because I also feel the way Draco is feeling in the story…though, it really hurts me…it's Draco's point of view…well, it's also my point of view as I just told you…I'm also suffering that unrequited love thing…this is dedicated to all feeling left alone and rejected and that includes me…to all readers enjoy, and don't forget to review…thanx…ice-cube08…
~DREAMS OF REALITY~
…Ice-cube08…
It was cloudy that night…she was looking at the lake.
Her beautiful eyes that I adore so much was wet with tears…
I want to dry them but I can't…
I want to know the reason behind all these,
behind her tears,
her sadness,
her sorrows,
her burdens…
I want to say sorry but I couldn't…
I know it's the only way I could make up to her…
But,
But I know its not gonna work…
I've been here looking at her for hours but I can't do anything to comfort her…
I don't know what I'm feeling…
It's really odd…
I really don't know, and I don't want this…
I don't want to be rejected…
I know I'm not born for this, I'm born because of anger and I'm born to hate not to love…
But everytime I see her I just can't help myself…
I can't stop but fall in love again…
Everytime I see her smile, I just can't avert myself from falling deeper and deeper until I bury myself and not be able to go back…
Go back to the reality of hatred…
Reality of darkness…
Reality of me…
No…
But she's my reality…
I can't force myself to forget her,
to hurt her, if I really do love her…
NO, this is not right!
I should not allow myself to love her,
it will just cause dirt to my blood…
to my reputation…
well,, who cares…
its just MY reputation…
once and for all I want to be happy,
I want to put an end to the person I'm imitating…
I want to take off this mask…
The mask of my father…
I want to show them the true me…
I want to show the world that I'm different,
Different from the person they see…
I want them to know that I'm not as bad as they think…
I want to,
to..
to…
shout to the world that i…
That I love her
..but I know,
even though the whole world knows about this,
she won't think of me as a human..
she still hates me..
she won't change a bit..
she won't change her feelings towards me..
she won't understand me because I never did understand her..
her feelings..
her doubts..
I never looked to her as a human…
I even called her a MUDBLOOD…
Well, what's the difference?!
She still is human even if she is a muggle-born or not..
And it doesn't make difference either,
I still love her…
mudblood or not..
I really don't know…
How can I tell her these things?
Maybe only in my dreams..
But how? I can't even have dreams now..
I can't put myself to sleep…
I don't know where to place these feelings..
I don't even know if this is love or hate..
I just don't know..
I hate it..
She's the only person whom I think, understands me..
She don't only look through what her bare eyes can see..
She looks within me, I know it..
Everytime she looks into my eyes…
I can see she suffers twice the pain I'm suffering now…
I want to give her love and care, but how?
Now that I also need much love and care…
And especially understanding …
She's been there…
Almost…
However…
I don't notice her…
She's all I need…
But…
I'm scared…