Queen's Own: Again, I'm terribly sorry about the lack of updates on this ficcie!! I've been working on White Flame, and some of my tpierce ficcies, and this one sort of- fell by the wayside. But now, I will pick it back up again! And update more than once every two months or so!!
Sami: Disclaiming Changeling here!! We own nothing!!
Reviewer Response Time!!!
Laureline: Actually, thanks for the criticism. You're probably not reading this, but anyway, it made me think about my characters, something that's always helpful!!! Have you ever heard of something called shock? It means that when something big happens, you have sort of a delayed reaction to it. It sort of doesn't sink in right away. That's what's happening to Kalira. Second, as to the Dirk being alive thing, I've already answered that zillions of times!! When one part of a lifebonded pair dies it does not automatically kill the other one!! Cases in point, Keren and Ylsa, Vanyel and 'Lendel, Stef and Vanyel!!! Third, Darkwind, Elspeth, Kero and co. had to work fast. Gates really shouldn't work after the Mage Storms, and it was sort of a now or never kind of thing. Even Heralds when pressed can be callous.
Tk. DuVeraun: Yeah! You are right!! Shock!! More panicking in this chap!!
Ivy Raine: Sami says he loves torturing his characters!!
Riath: Past life memories, coming right up!! Honestly, this is a chap of angst and Kalira-torturing!!
oceanmate: good to know you all care!!
Kathleen: Sorry it's been so long!! *feels guilty*
Lurks in Shadows: Glad you think so!! Thanks for the inspiration!!
Darienetta Stoke: aww shux!!
Catherine: Not anywhere near the end…but glad you like!!
Anything: Thank you SOOOO much for the formatting tip!! *showers reviewer with hundreds and thousands of cookies!!*
silvervine: thank you SOO much!!
wizard116: will do!!
Chapter Seven: Confuzzlement
Kalira basked in the warm sun shining on the Companion's Field. As she basked, she began to do the inevitable: doze. Rolan, sitting next to her, registered her lapse into unsummoned memory and ignored it. Laya, providing a backrest for her Chosen on Kalira's other side, dropped out of her and Kris' conversation to shoot a questioning look at Rolan. Rolan shook his head and she Sent a shrug before returning to the conversation.
As Kalira slept, she lapsed unbidden into memory…
School had just let out for the year. She was never going to be a sixth grader again. "Pizza anyone?" she called in delight, back to her two best friends, Tami and Kade.
"We're going to Maddie's party!" Tami reminded her. "Spin the bottle, Kali!" Kalira grinned.
"And I'm sure that you're going to spin to Matt!" she said, naming one of the hottest guys in their grade. Kade laughed.
"Let's go or we'll be late!" he shot at Tami. She stuck her tongue out at him.
"Tami!" Ivan, her boyfriend, ran up behind her and covered her eyes. "Guess who!" Tami giggled.
"Ivan!" she shouted, spinning around. He grinned at her.
"Catch me every time," he said, laughing, raking red hair back with a hand.
"I just know you too well!" Tami retorted. Kade slipped an arm around Kalira's shoulders.
"What do you say we skip the party the four of us, and go get pizza!" he suggested. She considered it for a moment.
"I second!" she said, impetuously.
"I third," Ivan agreed. Tami raised her hands in defeat.
"Me four," she said.
Kalira smiled at the memory, still dozing. They'd gone and gotten pizza. Kade had asked her out later that summer. Since then, they'd been constantly on IM and the phone –not that they hadn't been before. He'd kissed her for the first time at another one of Maddie's parties –the first weekend they'd been back in school- where again, there was spin the bottle.
"I spin…" She held her breath as the bottle spun round in a circle. "Kade!" They'd both stood with a bit of apprehension.
"This is really weird," he admitted in a whisper.
She giggled slightly nervously. "I spun, you were spun."
"Hurry up!" Tami called, impatiently. "Before we're old!"
And then he'd kissed her. She grinned goofily. Tami cheered, before shrieking as Ivan kissed her.
Her parents hadn't known, of course. They would have freaked out if they'd known. Her parents were like that: overly concerned about everything. But she loved them.
Family dinners like this one were rare. Dad was always out of town on some kind of business trip, and Mom was always at some social outing or another. Today, though, all of them were home. Even her older brother, Jamie, had put away his homework to join them, and Lilly, her little sister, was being cooperative, and not complaining about how everything on the table was green. It was just the five of them, and they were all together. Kalira smiled contentedly as her father passed the mashed potatoes around the table as her mom dished out steak. This was her family and she loved them.
And then there was the barn. Tami rode, though Kade didn't. And there was her beloved Ricki, and Tami's beautiful black Thoroughbred, Helen of Troy, that she'd been in love with since her first day at the barn. Troy had been the horse she and Tami had leased together when they were in fifth grade, before Tami bought her in sixth grade, soon after Kali had gotten Ricki. Troy had given her the first blue ribbon at the local Short Stirrup division. Ricki, who'd gotten her into Child Hunters easily, with time to spare.
"I bet I can beat your time around this course!" Kalira challenged, ignoring the heat of the day. Tami snorted.
"Troy can beat Ricki any day!" Kade, who had been dragged along to horse shows such as this for years, laughed.
"You're both in Child Hunters," he pointed out. "Whoever ribbons higher gets to feed. Loser gets to muck stalls!"
"Done," the two of them had agreed. They had bets like this going every show for as long as she could remember.
As soon as she and Ricki had gotten onto the course, she'd known she was going to win. Perfect opening circle, with neat transitions got them started into the course. Ricki cleared every fence with room to spare, Kalira crouched in two-point on her back. Not only had they beaten Tami, but they'd beaten everyone else in the class, pinning first.
That was two weeks ago, Kalira thought sadly. Rolan and Laya started as a tear trickled down her cheek. A cautious Mindtouch proved that she was still asleep. Kalira stirred as memory changed into nightmares.
She was walking up to her house. Turning her key in the lock and opening the door, she found herself staring at everyone who had ever meant anything to her. Only they were different than she'd ever seen them. Ricki's eyes were dull and her coat didn't shine like usual. Her head drooped and you could count her ribs. Kalira stared in horror at her beloved horse, until she caught a glimpse of her parents. Her mother was crying uncontrollably, while her father's face was full of suppressed fury. "Mom!" she called. "What's wrong?" Her mother ignored her. Kalira put a hand on her mother's shoulder- and shuddered as it passed through her. Kalira backed up in horror until her back hit a solid stone wall. It's just a nightmare. I'm dreaming. All I have to do is open the- She turned. Her back was to a stone wall. There was no door to be seen. She was trapped, confronted with the specters.
Kade's eyes were bleak and unseeing. "I loved you, Kalira," he moaned. "Why? Why did you have to die?" Tami shuddered, raising an arm as blood dripped from a cut on her wrist.
"I'm coming, Kalira," she whispered hoarsely. "They'll find my body- I don't deserve to live if you're dead. You're dead, Ricki's dying, Kade's a different person. I can't stay anymo-" Kalira's oldest and best friend toppled to the ground, dead.
Lilly was screaming and crying, beating Jamie black and blue. Jamie withheld tears, restraining his younger sister. "Lilly," he whispered. "Hold on. Mom and Dad would never survive if we lost both of you!"
"But I can't!" she sobbed. "I have to go find her! She can't be dead- Kali isn't dead! She-" She broke down sobbing as her fist connected with Jamie's nose, producing a crack. Blood gushed from the broken nose. Jamie let go of his sister, crying out in pain. Lilly took advantage of the opportunity to run past Kalira, through her and through the wall. Kalira was hit by knowledge: Lilly ran to the river where her 'body' had been found. "Kali? Kali, I know you're here!" the eight year old sobbed. "Where are-" The girl slipped on the muddy bank and hit her head on a rock. She tumbled into the water, unaware and was swept under. Kalira cried out, but it was to deaf ears.
"Kalira." It was Kris. "Kalira, what's wrong?"
"Go away!" she shrieked. "They're dying- they're dying and it's all your fault! I hate you! I hate Rolan! I hate Elspeth and Darkwind! I wish I was dead! I wish you were all dead, even Rolan! Then I could go home! I could be free-" She broke down sobbing. Hesitant arms embraced her. She reached behind her, in an effort to beat whoever owned those arms bloody.
:Kalira!: It was Rolan. :Kalira! Wake up!: Kalira shot away. Kris' arms were around her, and something warm was trickling on the back of her neck- blood. Kris' blood, probably. She collapsed sobbing.
"Tami and Lilly are dead!" she sobbed. "Ricki and Kade are as good as dead! And it's all my fault. It's all my fault! My fault, I tell you, mine!" She cried and cried. Kris tried to pull her against his shoulder, and she tore away, jerking to her feet. "I hate you!" she cried in absolute fury and pain, eyes wild. "I wish you were dead! I wish I was dead, like everyone I love thinks I am!" With that, she turned and ran.
"Was her nightmare- true?" Kris asked Laya softly. The Companion's only answer was to fix Kris with sad blue eyes.
:Sometimes, people are given knowledge that they should not possess,: she answered sadly. Kris bit off a sob, as he stared at the retreating Gray back of the newly Chosen Queen's Own Trainee. :You should go after her, Chosen.: Kris, reminded of the fate of Lilly, jerked to his feet at a run.
"Please," he whispered. "Don't let anything happen to her."
A/N: ANGST!! Sami apologizes to Kalira. And, Kris doesn't even know how he knows all about Kalira's dream yet. All shall be explained shortly!!