Chapter V: Abandon

Miriam assumed her usual spot at the counter, waiting for Sephiroth to wake up and come talk to her. She needed to know what hurt him. She needed to know what Hojo did. The thing that pained her the most was seeing Sephiroth suffer. She never wanted him to feel pain like she had.
The door opened. Miriam turned around and saw Sephiroth walk out. He didn't look like he had a particularly good night's sleep, but other than that he appeared normal. She remembered back to the night before. She had come into his room again a bit later and heard him crying out words in his sleep that alternated between "Ma'am" and "Dad." It almost made her want to cry herself.
"Morning, Ma'am," he said. He gave her a look of forced confidence.
"Hello, Honey," she said, getting up and hugging him. "How do you feel this morning?"
"Oh, I'm all right now," he said in what he thought was an offhand voice.
Miriam's brow furrowed. "Sephiroth, I'd like you to tell me what happened yesterday," she said. He looked down at his feet and said nothing. Terrific, Miriam, you just made things worse. She placed her hands on his shoulders and he looked up again. "I'm sorry to remind you, but I only want to know because I don't want you to feel hurt."
He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "Please don't hate him, Ma'am," he said softly.
"What?"
"Yesterday Dad came by our house. He told me he needed to take me somewhere, so I want with him. He took me up to the sixty-seventh floor"— Miriam's heart gave a jolt —"and we went into this room. The he...um...." He made a stabbing motion into his right arm where the bruise was.
"That's what made you sick?" she said, unable to keep the horrified tone out of her voice. "Hojo injected you with something?"
"He didn't mean to hurt me!" Sephiroth said. "He didn't mean to make me cry. He would never do that! He was doing it for my own good. I know it! I know it!"
"Maybe so," sighed Miriam. "But if something like this ever happens again, I'll put a stop to it. I can't stand seeing you in pain. If anything ever happens, you just tell me and I'll be damned if I let it continue." She put a hand over her mouth and felt hot blood rush into her cheeks. "Sorry," she said.
Sephiroth giggled in spite of himself. God, he loved her. Why couldn't she be his mother?
"It's all right," he said. "I think I'm feeling better now."
Miriam let her features relax. "That's good. Well, I need to go shopping now. Do you want to come?" Sephiroth nodded.
As she pushed her cart through the aisles of the store, Miriam could see that Sephiroth wasn't as okay as he said. He was twitchy and nervous, eyes flicking all around. When a bunch of cans fell of the shelf behind them and clattered to the floor, he actually gave a little jump. He was truly unnerved, and yet he defended Hojo. Miriam suspected he would till the end.
She let her mind drift away on a sea of thought. Why was this happening now? After three years she finally felt that she had found her place. The death of Michael Adler was now a memory that had lost coherence, fading but still haunting like shadows on a wall. Sephiroth was her saving grace. Was God so cruel as to snatch away their happiness when she had only begun to live?

"Good morning, Miss Adler. How are you doing today?"
Miriam stood in front of Hojo by the front door, holding Sephiroth close to her. She couldn't believe it. He has the gall to come back like this and act like nothing happened?
A week had gone by without any word from the Science Department. Sephiroth regained most of his former cheerfulness and even Miriam began to think that everything was going to be all right. Don't get so confident, she reminded herself. This isn't over yet. You have to protect him.
And now she was right. "What business do you have here, Professor?" she said carefully.
"I would like to have Sephiroth come with me for a while."
"What do you want with him?" she asked.
"We just want to run a simple test—"
"What kind of test?" Miriam pressed. "It won't hurt him, will it?"
"Ma'am..." Sephiroth chastised.
Hojo started. "Well, it shouldn't. It's a simple magic aptitude test. We'll be testing his level of skill in terms of casting spells."
"It sounds dangerous," she said. "I don't think—"
"Ma'am," repeated Sephiroth, looking up at her. She stopped and stared down into his eyes. They were bright and sincere. "It's okay," he said. "I'll be fine."
"Sephiroth..."
"Believe me. It's all right." Miriam paused, then nodded reluctantly and let him go.
"Thank you, Miss," Hojo said. "You can expect him to be back within a half hour. Ready, Sephiroth?"
"Yep!" he said. He grabbed his hand. "Maybe after this we can all go and look off the top of the building again." Hojo just smiled and shrugged. "See ya later, Ma'am!" They both walked off, leaving Miriam feeling very much alone.

Sephiroth stood with a materia in his hand in the middle of the big room. He could hear faint voices coming from behind a large mirror that took up half the front wall. There were electrodes attached to his head and eyelids, their wires snaking up into the ceiling like tentacles. Hojo had taken him to the 67th floor again. He was acting normal once more, the cold empty look on his face replaced by his previous expression of gentle sympathy. Sephiroth was nervous, but talking to his father made him feel better. When they exited the elevator, he thought he would have to go in that small room again, have to endure that burning pain. Instead, Hojo led him to a different room, still white but much larger and covered in tiles all over the ceiling, floor, and walls. There was a pillar-like object in front of the mirror that reminded Sephiroth of a TV antenna.
From behind the one way glass, Gast, Hojo, and two technicians watched him. One of the techs was fiddling with an EEG, the other with a galvanometer and voltmeter. "So what's the target zone we should be aiming for again?" asked Gast.
"At least three hundred volts and two amperes should be good," said Hojo. "That translates into a magic power of about thirty."
"And of course we'll be looking for the typical alpha wave M-Pattern," said Gast.
"He'll still be receiving more Jenova immediately afterwards?"
Gast rubbed his temples and sighed. He had completely forgotten. "Yes, I suppose. It's on the schedule."
Hojo turned to the technicians. "Is everything ready yet?"
"Yes. EEG's in sinus rhythm and voltmeter and galvanometer read zero."
"Let's get started then," said Gast, picking a microphone from the control panel in front of him. "Sephiroth, can you hear me?"
"Yes, Professor Gast!" He sounded confident, or at least as confident as one could under the circumstances. Gast felt a sudden pang of guilt and thought of what Ifalna would say. This child, he thought. He will never lead a normal life. He will never get to play with other boys his age. We have taken his life away. And for that I have sinned. He wasn't sure how much longer he could go on like this.
He tried to push the thoughts from his mind. "Sephiroth, do you know what that green orb in your hand is?"
"Yeah, it's called materia."
Ah, so he remembers. "Okay, Sephiroth. I want you to concentrate on the materia and then release the magic onto the rod in front of you. Begin readings for trial one," he instructed the technicians. "Start now, Sephiroth."
Sephiroth concentrated on the materia as he had in the dream, or perhaps in that instance of memory that wasn't a dream at all. He felt power surge through him. What felt like static electricity pulsed in his fingertips and tore a warpath through his arms. That magic crackled throughout his body. It was amazingly energizing but not painful. "Okay, we have the M-pattern!" said one of the technicians. The EEG traced an alpha wave of ever increasing spikes. As soon as he released the magic, it would peak off the graph. Sephiroth was shaking now, trying to hold in the spell. Suddenly, something inside him quelled, and he knew that the force would escape him. He put his hands out and aimed for the lightning rod, praying that he wouldn't miss and destroy something.
"Here it comes!" said Hojo. He got closer to the glass. From out of nowhere, a small white bolt of lightning struck the rod with a shower of sparks. "Yes! That's it! What did we get on that one?" He looked eagerly at the reading on the machines.
"Only one hundred eighty-three volts and point five amperes for trial one," said one of the technicians.
"The alpha wave spike wasn't very pronounced either," said the other. He handed Gast the readout.
"Hmm...still not bad," he said writing the information down in his log. "That's a magic power of twenty-two."
"He can do better," said Hojo shortly. He damn better well. He picked up the microphone. "Sephiroth, can you hear me?"
"Y-yeah," he panted. He couldn't believe how tired he felt. It was like he'd just run the 50 meter dash.
"I want you to try this again. You have more power than that in you and we want to see just how much that is."
"Okay Dad, I'll try," he said. Hojo handed the microphone to Gast and stepped back again.
No word of praise, thought Gast. Just 'do it again for me Sephiroth'. I'm in a nightmare. It's like everyone has forgotten their humanity. His mind turned to Ifalna again. Or maybe I'm the only one who has recovered theirs. "Begin readings for trial two. Go whenever you're ready."
Sephiroth held the materia tightly, tried to draw out its power, tried to concentrate on its mysterious green glow. I can do this. The vice of electricity gripped him again. He clenched his jaw and gathered it up inside himself. His closed fists shook with power. Come on, come on, I can't hold it any longer. It was a thrashing snake that that got stronger with each second, until it finally wrenched itself from his grasp and transformed into pure lightning. The bolt was bigger this time and it made a pronounced zzzt sound when it touched the metal. The magic must have taken some of his energy along with it, because all at once his legs felt weak and he wanted to sit down very badly.
Damn it! thought Hojo when he saw the readings. He's not trying! That can't be all he can do! He picked up the microphone again. "Sephiroth, please try this one last time. You're doing well, but I know you can do better."
"Alright," said Sephiroth with obvious fatigue. Gast suddenly stepped forward and took the microphone from Hojo's hand. He glared daggers at his back.
"Are you sure you can do this?" Gast asked. "If you're too tired we can do this again another day."
"No, really, I'm okay," Sephiroth said.
"Alright then. Begin readings for trial three. You may fire when ready."
Sephiroth closed his eyes and focused with all his might. The electricity entered him and he felt something different happen. Instead of spreading through his whole body it seemed to center, a mass of frenzied energy, somewhere in his chest. He opened his eyes. His body was surrounded by a glowing yellow-green aura that brightened and faded along with his heartbeat. His mouth dropped open and he held up his hands. They too were glowing. At his feet energy radiated across the floor in waves.
"Yes, this is it," said Gast. "He's got the magic to respond to him this time."
"M-pattern has almost peaked!" said the EEG technician.
I've got it now! thought Sephiroth. With a "Ha!" of satisfaction, he held out his hand and channeled the magic at the lightning rod. The resulting bolt filled the room with intense light and noise. He fell to his knees with spots dancing in front of his eyes.
"Ha ha! That was terrific!" said Hojo. "What did we get?"
"Three hundred ninety-seven volts and two point five amps," said one of the techs. "Damn..."
"A magic power of thirty three," said Gast. "That was a genuine Bolt spell." Hojo opened the door to the testing room and walked over to Sephiroth. He spotted Hojo coming towards him.
"Hey Dad," he said. "Did I do well?"
Hojo extended a hand to him. "You did fantastic," he said. Sephiroth took his hand and pulled himself up.
"I'm really tired," he said with a weak smile.
"That's understandable. Magic takes a lot of energy. You'll go back soon."
"Yeah, let's go." Together, they walked from the testing room. But not to the elevators. "Dad, where are we—?" Sephiroth stopped dead. They were heading for that little white room with the table. "We're not going in there again, are we?" said Sephiroth, panic rising in his voice. "You said we'd go to the top of the building again!"
Hojo laughed softly. "You said that, not me."
Gast turned away from this scene as Hojo took Sephiroth through the door. Though he couldn't hear anything save the machinery coming from the testing room doorway, he couldn't block the scream that pierced his mind. At that moment something inside him broke, and he knew that staying could only bring him misery. And neither for the first time nor the last he muttered to himself, "What have I done?"

Memorandum From: Professor Richard Gast To: President Shin-Ra Date: XX month XX day XX year Re: Resignation

Mr. President:
Due to certain circumstances, I request to resign my position as head of the Jenova Project. However, I am not resigning from Shin-Ra completely. I would like to continue my studies of the Ancients (Cetra) along with Ifalna. I feel that there is still some important information to be found. With your approval, we will travel the world in search of more clues about Jenova and the Ancients. I will compile a report on everything that we find. I would like to set out as soon as you make your decision. Please respond as soon as possible.
Thank you, Rick Gast

President Shin-Ra stopped reading. "So, what do you think of that?" he said to Hojo.
"He wanted to resign?" Hojo asked. "I don't believe it." They were both on the top floor of the building, in the president's private office. Shin-Ra was at his desk and Hojo sat in a chair in front of him.
"I was just surprised as you were. He seemed so enthusiastic about the Project in the beginning. I wonder what happened."
"So, what did you do?"
The president leaned back in his chair. "I let him go, of course. He was adamant." He made a dismissive gesture. "I don't feel too bad about it though. Maybe now we can speed things up a bit. As his second in command, you are now the head of the Jenova Project."
Hojo's eyes gleamed. So the bastard was good for something after all. But still, only in absence. He felt like laughing at the irony. Head of the Jenova Project! "Thank you, Mister President," he said. "I'll be sure to run the Project to the best of my abilities."
He nodded. "Good. But I want things to move more quickly. Already, tensions are growing between us and Wutai." He leaned forward. "I have confidence in your ability as a scientist. I don't expect to be disappointed."
"Yes, Mister President."