Chapter VII: The Final Fantasy
Dad's gone crazy.
That was the thought that floated through Sephiroth's head as he sat on his bed, knees drawn up to his chest, looking at Bochi. The doll was at the far end of the bed, its blank eyes like coals. Sephiroth hadn't slept with it for days. He didn't want it to be true, but it seemed to be the only explanation. Every other day or so, going to the 67th floor, running tests, giving him Jenova, without so much of a hint of sympathy. And the worst thing of all was that he couldn't do anything about it, and neither could Ma'am. She tried though and he knew it. Every time his dad came around she would tell Hojo to leave him be. Something must have happened because when she came in to check on him he saw a bruise on her face.
There came a hissing noise from across the room, or maybe just from inside his mind. At any rate Sephiroth fell back, cold sweat instantly forming on his brow. I have to get out of here. The solution came to him, direct and brutally simple: I'll run away. This wasn't the first time the idea crossed him, but it had never come with such finality. He felt almost guilty thinking about it, and Bochi's black button eyes staring through the dark didn't help. But what else could he do?
The monster hissed at him again out of the darkness. Without thinking Sephiroth grabbed Bochi and hurled him blindly at his target. He never heard it hit the ground.
Walking through the building again, walking into the inevitable red corridor of fiery agony. His hand was in his father's, but not out of love. No, Sephiroth suspected it was to keep him from running away. The elevator loomed ahead, a ride that ascended into the heavens but also to hell. Pain was a large part of the fear that he felt, although not all of it. It had taken him a while to notice, but after rounds and rounds of Jenova injections he felt different, like there was something new growing inside of him. It wasn't another being exactly, but an inescapable presence that his very spirit seemed to rebel against. He looked longingly at a staircase nearby. Every time he went up, he came down with the thing inside him larger. What if it grew so big that he wasn't himself anymore, that he lost his soul to another?
What if I'm not me? Sephiroth thought. He saw that the elevator was right in front of them and his legs wanted to stop, wanted desperately to turn the other way. No, I'm not going there again! Jerking himself out of Hojo's grip, he made for the staircase, his heart hammering away. He felt his father's hand just barely miss grabbing his arm. Adrenaline surged through his body as he ran across the plaza and through the staircase door.
Hojo stood and watched as his son tore away from him and disappeared into the stairwell. He didn't bother to go after him. "Hm. So he's finally decided he's had enough," he murmured with a smirk. It was understandable. Jenova treatments were no party. Fine then. I'll let him have his fun. I'll let him think he'll make it. But I'll show him that hopes of freedom are only a fleeting fantasy. He took a cell phone from his coat and with a final glance at the stairs, dialed security.
Pounding down the stairs, Sephiroth suddenly found himself thinking of Ma'am. I didn't get to say good bye to her, he thought with guilt. I wonder what she'll do when she finds out. He grabbed the railing and turned the corner. I guess I'll write her a message or something. I hope she forgives me. Just as he reached the seventh floor landing, a Shin-Ra guard came through the door. He tried to stop himself but it was too late. He smashed right into the guard and fell to the ground, knocking him back. A green materia orb flew past his ear and bounced down the steps. Disconcerted, the guard drew his gun. Sephiroth took one look at it and scrambled to his feet. They've got guns? He thought dashing down the stairs. Oh God, now they're going to kill me?
He risked a peek over his shoulder. There were three guards running two flights of stairs above him, all carrying silenced pistols. Their footsteps echoed in the enclosed space, making it sound as if a whole army was pursuing him. Not looking where he was going, Sephiroth's foot slipped off a stair when he was halfway to the fourth floor landing. He fell through the air with a strangled yell and landed on his arm hard. The arm with the Jenova injections.
A red hot knife of pain split his arm in two. Tears burst from his eyes and he cried out in agony. He felt tired, drained. The footsteps marched just a flight above him. I'll just go to sleep, he thought. Go to sleep and let them have me. I don't think I can win. From in front of his eyes came a sparkle of green.
Materia.
Sephiroth reached out with his good arm and grabbed it. It was a Fire materia; he could feel it in its quiet strength. Normally he wanted nothing to do with materia, but now it seemed to fill him with a new determination. He didn't want to go back and continue the tests. And he would make sure he'd see Ma'am again. Behind him, the guards turned and came down the last flight.
"Stay where you are!" one of them commanded. No. He would make it. Just as the guards raised their pistols, Sephiroth leapt up with the materia and sprinted out the fourth floor door. A tiny dart whizzed past his head.
"Agh!" He ran faster through a short hallway and found himself in a place he recognized. He was on the mall level of the Shin-Ra building, a place he and Ma'am had come often when they went shopping together. The floor was split into two halves with a straight fissure separating them. The two halves were only connected by three bridges spanning the fissure. Sephiroth remembered how he always loved to lean over the railing and stare down through the split to the floor below. Stores with neon signs stretched to his left and right. Choosing a random direction, he plunged into the crowds.
Okay, now what do I do? Going back to the stairs was out. The only way to the ground floor seemed to be the elevators. He looked back again. The three guards were struggling against the flow of people. Looking forward again his heart gave a leap. Behind several rows of people two more guards were heading straight for him. Sephiroth stopped in his tracks and looked around frantically for a place to hide. He couldn't run forward into the appliance store, nor could he go back and hide in the bookstore. The only place left was the place in the middle...the bathrooms.
Getting down low he went into the waiting area and turned into the men's room. He nearly bumped into a man taking a leak in a urinal. "Hey! Watch it kid!" the guy said. Sephiroth muttered an apology and slipped into an empty stall, hopped onto the toilet, and pulled his legs up. Through the closed stall door he heard a sudden commotion. Several people stormed into the bathroom.
"Hey, you there!" came a voice that he recognized as one of the guards.
"Sweet Jesus!" said the guy at the urinal. "What the hell is wrong with you people? Can't a guy piss in peace?"
"Can it. Did you see a kid with white hair run in here?"
Please say no, thought Sephiroth, as if he could somehow affect the guy's thoughts.
"Yeah, he's in the last stall." Sephiroth felt a jolting chill flood through his body. "What're you gonna do with him?" The guards ignored him and pushed past him.
I'm trapped, Sephiroth thought. I can't believe this is it. I was so stupid to come in here! Just then he remembered the materia. Maybe this wasn't the end after all. He gripped it tightly in his fist and waited.
The door opened. One of the guards pointed his gun at him. "Freeze!"
"Fire!" Sephiroth yelled. His whole body heated up and with a ripple of flame, a ball of fire shot from his hands. The guard stumbled back with a grunt as the fireball blasted over him and hit the back wall. Blackened ceramic tiles flew everywhere.
"What the hell is going on here?" screamed the man. Sephiroth shot another Fire spell at the ceiling as he ran, causing plaster to shower down all over the bathroom. He flung the door open and ran for his life towards the elevators, slipping the materia into his watchband as he went. A couple of people were getting on the next car. Sephiroth picked up the pace and made it just before the doors closed. He saw that the button for the ground floor was the only one pressed. Thank God for small favors.
When the elevator reached the bottom, Sephiroth darted across the lobby. With ragged breaths, he burst out of the front doors to freedom. The fresh air was cool against his skin. A light shower poured from the cloudy skies, dousing him. It felt wonderful. That was when four Shin-Ra guards came up the stairs to block his path. Sephiroth skidded to a stop and tried to run the other way, but five more guards came out of the building and surrounded him.
No, no, no! No matter where he turned, there was someone in his way. After all that, it wasn't supposed to turn out like this. It just wasn't fair. Sephiroth set his jaw and willed himself not to cry. His cheeks burned in the chilly wintry air.
"So there you are."
Sephiroth turned when he heard the voice. He saw Hojo stride out of the building, crossing in front of one of the guards and standing before him.
"Dad..." He trailed off and tensed when he saw the pistol in his hand. Hojo aimed it directly at him.
"You thought you could run away, did you?" He gave a short, harsh laugh as frigid as a January wind. The two figures stood locked in place as the rain fell around them. Sephiroth could only stare into his father's cold, cold eyes, unable to breathe, unable to move.
"You might as well try to dodge raindrops." He squeezed the trigger. In an instant there was a small dart protruding from Sephiroth's collarbone. The world swayed around him and he fell into blackness.
"Selective memory wipe."
"Mister President?"
Hojo was in the president's office again, speaking to him as the fiery dying sun went down behind the buildings of Midgar. In the infirmary, Sephiroth slept a dreamless sleep.
"I would like you to perform a selective memory wipe on Sephiroth," he said. "Is that a problem?"
"Not at all. I'm just not sure if it's necessary."
President Shin-Ra massaged his forehead with the tips of his fingers. "All I want is that he forgets about this whole incident and about his time here. I don't want to give him an identity crisis."
"Might I ask why?"
"His memories would interfere with his cooperation in the next stage," the president said. "They would only be holding his back from reaching his full potential." He set his elbows on the desk and laced his fingers together. "Remember, the Project is being moved back to Nibelheim. That's where his training will begin."
"Understood, Mister President," said Hojo. He got up and left the office as the sun sank completely behind the horizon.
When Sephiroth came to, the world was completely dark. He was lying on something soft and there was pleasant warmth on his face. Ow...my head. His head felt heavy and his temples throbbed like he had hit them on a brick wall. With great effort he sat up and opened his eyes. He was sitting on a white cot in the middle of what looked like a hospital room. In front of his bed was a wooden dresser. Someone had left a vase full of flowers on it. Dust motes danced in the golden rays of morning sun that filtered in through the cracks in the blinds. "Jeez, what is this place?" he wondered aloud. It was bizarre, but he had no recollection of how he got here.
There was a pattering of footsteps outside the room and the door opened suddenly. A fair haired woman holding a chocobo doll in her arms came in. She had a terribly kind face that was fraught with concern. "Sephiroth!" she said, putting the chocobo doll down on the dresser. The woman came over to the side of his bed. "Sephiroth, are you all right?"
"Um, yeah, I'm fine," he said. "Thanks."
An expression of relief crossed her face. "I'm so glad. I totally understand that you tried to run away and I forgive you."
Sephiroth cocked his head. I tried to run away? He shook the thought from his mind and asked what he thought was the obvious question: "Who are you?"
The woman blinked. "It's me, Miriam. You know, Ma'am."
"I've never seen you before," he said.
She put her hands on her hips. "Sephiroth, that's not funny."
"Really, I haven't," he insisted. The lady's face was a mask of hopeless despair.
"Hojo...he didn't...." she said to herself. Leaning forward she placed her fingers lightly on either side of Sephiroth's face and looked into his eyes. Her own shone with tears. "Sephiroth, please say you know me."
He furrowed his brow and thought, and there was something, something in that face and voice and touch that struck a chord deep within him, but as soon as it came it disappeared again like a swirl of sand on the breath of the breeze. He shook his head. "Sorry, I don't know you." He felt terrible saying that, but it was the truth.
With a shaking hand she wiped a tear from her eye and smiled at him sadly. Then she bent down and kissed him on the forehead.
Sephiroth felt his eyes widen. He was being kissed by a total stranger, yet it all felt so comforting. He breathed in her sweet scent. It was flowery, sunny, like a bed of roses. Emotions came flooding back, making his heart ache almost painfully. And then some lost part of him wanted to cry too, to be hugged by this woman, to be told everything was going to be all right, the sweet lie that everyone wanted to hear and believe.
At last she pulled away, the same sad smile on her lips. "I guess you won't be coming home to me any more," she said pushing a lock of silvery hair out of his face. "I'm sorry." Rising up again, she gave him a final wave and walked out the door. That was the last time he ever saw her.
Sephiroth sat on his bed still staring after her. Who was that anyway? She had been awfully nice. And she had mentioned Hojo.
He frowned. Yes, Hojo. It was a name he equated with pain and suffering. That's right. That man had hurt him many times. Done something to him. His hand formed into a fist. When he did this, a green materia orb fell from his watchband.
How did I get this? He thought. Nothing seemed to make sense today. As he raised his gaze from the materia, his eyes fell upon the chocobo doll.
What a stupid doll, he thought with a smirk. I think I'm a little too old for that. He extended his arm. The doll burst into flame and fell to the floor smoldering.
A little too old.
Taking in the acrid smell of smoking stuffing and fabric, he sat back and watched it burn.
Dad's gone crazy.
That was the thought that floated through Sephiroth's head as he sat on his bed, knees drawn up to his chest, looking at Bochi. The doll was at the far end of the bed, its blank eyes like coals. Sephiroth hadn't slept with it for days. He didn't want it to be true, but it seemed to be the only explanation. Every other day or so, going to the 67th floor, running tests, giving him Jenova, without so much of a hint of sympathy. And the worst thing of all was that he couldn't do anything about it, and neither could Ma'am. She tried though and he knew it. Every time his dad came around she would tell Hojo to leave him be. Something must have happened because when she came in to check on him he saw a bruise on her face.
There came a hissing noise from across the room, or maybe just from inside his mind. At any rate Sephiroth fell back, cold sweat instantly forming on his brow. I have to get out of here. The solution came to him, direct and brutally simple: I'll run away. This wasn't the first time the idea crossed him, but it had never come with such finality. He felt almost guilty thinking about it, and Bochi's black button eyes staring through the dark didn't help. But what else could he do?
The monster hissed at him again out of the darkness. Without thinking Sephiroth grabbed Bochi and hurled him blindly at his target. He never heard it hit the ground.
Walking through the building again, walking into the inevitable red corridor of fiery agony. His hand was in his father's, but not out of love. No, Sephiroth suspected it was to keep him from running away. The elevator loomed ahead, a ride that ascended into the heavens but also to hell. Pain was a large part of the fear that he felt, although not all of it. It had taken him a while to notice, but after rounds and rounds of Jenova injections he felt different, like there was something new growing inside of him. It wasn't another being exactly, but an inescapable presence that his very spirit seemed to rebel against. He looked longingly at a staircase nearby. Every time he went up, he came down with the thing inside him larger. What if it grew so big that he wasn't himself anymore, that he lost his soul to another?
What if I'm not me? Sephiroth thought. He saw that the elevator was right in front of them and his legs wanted to stop, wanted desperately to turn the other way. No, I'm not going there again! Jerking himself out of Hojo's grip, he made for the staircase, his heart hammering away. He felt his father's hand just barely miss grabbing his arm. Adrenaline surged through his body as he ran across the plaza and through the staircase door.
Hojo stood and watched as his son tore away from him and disappeared into the stairwell. He didn't bother to go after him. "Hm. So he's finally decided he's had enough," he murmured with a smirk. It was understandable. Jenova treatments were no party. Fine then. I'll let him have his fun. I'll let him think he'll make it. But I'll show him that hopes of freedom are only a fleeting fantasy. He took a cell phone from his coat and with a final glance at the stairs, dialed security.
Pounding down the stairs, Sephiroth suddenly found himself thinking of Ma'am. I didn't get to say good bye to her, he thought with guilt. I wonder what she'll do when she finds out. He grabbed the railing and turned the corner. I guess I'll write her a message or something. I hope she forgives me. Just as he reached the seventh floor landing, a Shin-Ra guard came through the door. He tried to stop himself but it was too late. He smashed right into the guard and fell to the ground, knocking him back. A green materia orb flew past his ear and bounced down the steps. Disconcerted, the guard drew his gun. Sephiroth took one look at it and scrambled to his feet. They've got guns? He thought dashing down the stairs. Oh God, now they're going to kill me?
He risked a peek over his shoulder. There were three guards running two flights of stairs above him, all carrying silenced pistols. Their footsteps echoed in the enclosed space, making it sound as if a whole army was pursuing him. Not looking where he was going, Sephiroth's foot slipped off a stair when he was halfway to the fourth floor landing. He fell through the air with a strangled yell and landed on his arm hard. The arm with the Jenova injections.
A red hot knife of pain split his arm in two. Tears burst from his eyes and he cried out in agony. He felt tired, drained. The footsteps marched just a flight above him. I'll just go to sleep, he thought. Go to sleep and let them have me. I don't think I can win. From in front of his eyes came a sparkle of green.
Materia.
Sephiroth reached out with his good arm and grabbed it. It was a Fire materia; he could feel it in its quiet strength. Normally he wanted nothing to do with materia, but now it seemed to fill him with a new determination. He didn't want to go back and continue the tests. And he would make sure he'd see Ma'am again. Behind him, the guards turned and came down the last flight.
"Stay where you are!" one of them commanded. No. He would make it. Just as the guards raised their pistols, Sephiroth leapt up with the materia and sprinted out the fourth floor door. A tiny dart whizzed past his head.
"Agh!" He ran faster through a short hallway and found himself in a place he recognized. He was on the mall level of the Shin-Ra building, a place he and Ma'am had come often when they went shopping together. The floor was split into two halves with a straight fissure separating them. The two halves were only connected by three bridges spanning the fissure. Sephiroth remembered how he always loved to lean over the railing and stare down through the split to the floor below. Stores with neon signs stretched to his left and right. Choosing a random direction, he plunged into the crowds.
Okay, now what do I do? Going back to the stairs was out. The only way to the ground floor seemed to be the elevators. He looked back again. The three guards were struggling against the flow of people. Looking forward again his heart gave a leap. Behind several rows of people two more guards were heading straight for him. Sephiroth stopped in his tracks and looked around frantically for a place to hide. He couldn't run forward into the appliance store, nor could he go back and hide in the bookstore. The only place left was the place in the middle...the bathrooms.
Getting down low he went into the waiting area and turned into the men's room. He nearly bumped into a man taking a leak in a urinal. "Hey! Watch it kid!" the guy said. Sephiroth muttered an apology and slipped into an empty stall, hopped onto the toilet, and pulled his legs up. Through the closed stall door he heard a sudden commotion. Several people stormed into the bathroom.
"Hey, you there!" came a voice that he recognized as one of the guards.
"Sweet Jesus!" said the guy at the urinal. "What the hell is wrong with you people? Can't a guy piss in peace?"
"Can it. Did you see a kid with white hair run in here?"
Please say no, thought Sephiroth, as if he could somehow affect the guy's thoughts.
"Yeah, he's in the last stall." Sephiroth felt a jolting chill flood through his body. "What're you gonna do with him?" The guards ignored him and pushed past him.
I'm trapped, Sephiroth thought. I can't believe this is it. I was so stupid to come in here! Just then he remembered the materia. Maybe this wasn't the end after all. He gripped it tightly in his fist and waited.
The door opened. One of the guards pointed his gun at him. "Freeze!"
"Fire!" Sephiroth yelled. His whole body heated up and with a ripple of flame, a ball of fire shot from his hands. The guard stumbled back with a grunt as the fireball blasted over him and hit the back wall. Blackened ceramic tiles flew everywhere.
"What the hell is going on here?" screamed the man. Sephiroth shot another Fire spell at the ceiling as he ran, causing plaster to shower down all over the bathroom. He flung the door open and ran for his life towards the elevators, slipping the materia into his watchband as he went. A couple of people were getting on the next car. Sephiroth picked up the pace and made it just before the doors closed. He saw that the button for the ground floor was the only one pressed. Thank God for small favors.
When the elevator reached the bottom, Sephiroth darted across the lobby. With ragged breaths, he burst out of the front doors to freedom. The fresh air was cool against his skin. A light shower poured from the cloudy skies, dousing him. It felt wonderful. That was when four Shin-Ra guards came up the stairs to block his path. Sephiroth skidded to a stop and tried to run the other way, but five more guards came out of the building and surrounded him.
No, no, no! No matter where he turned, there was someone in his way. After all that, it wasn't supposed to turn out like this. It just wasn't fair. Sephiroth set his jaw and willed himself not to cry. His cheeks burned in the chilly wintry air.
"So there you are."
Sephiroth turned when he heard the voice. He saw Hojo stride out of the building, crossing in front of one of the guards and standing before him.
"Dad..." He trailed off and tensed when he saw the pistol in his hand. Hojo aimed it directly at him.
"You thought you could run away, did you?" He gave a short, harsh laugh as frigid as a January wind. The two figures stood locked in place as the rain fell around them. Sephiroth could only stare into his father's cold, cold eyes, unable to breathe, unable to move.
"You might as well try to dodge raindrops." He squeezed the trigger. In an instant there was a small dart protruding from Sephiroth's collarbone. The world swayed around him and he fell into blackness.
"Selective memory wipe."
"Mister President?"
Hojo was in the president's office again, speaking to him as the fiery dying sun went down behind the buildings of Midgar. In the infirmary, Sephiroth slept a dreamless sleep.
"I would like you to perform a selective memory wipe on Sephiroth," he said. "Is that a problem?"
"Not at all. I'm just not sure if it's necessary."
President Shin-Ra massaged his forehead with the tips of his fingers. "All I want is that he forgets about this whole incident and about his time here. I don't want to give him an identity crisis."
"Might I ask why?"
"His memories would interfere with his cooperation in the next stage," the president said. "They would only be holding his back from reaching his full potential." He set his elbows on the desk and laced his fingers together. "Remember, the Project is being moved back to Nibelheim. That's where his training will begin."
"Understood, Mister President," said Hojo. He got up and left the office as the sun sank completely behind the horizon.
When Sephiroth came to, the world was completely dark. He was lying on something soft and there was pleasant warmth on his face. Ow...my head. His head felt heavy and his temples throbbed like he had hit them on a brick wall. With great effort he sat up and opened his eyes. He was sitting on a white cot in the middle of what looked like a hospital room. In front of his bed was a wooden dresser. Someone had left a vase full of flowers on it. Dust motes danced in the golden rays of morning sun that filtered in through the cracks in the blinds. "Jeez, what is this place?" he wondered aloud. It was bizarre, but he had no recollection of how he got here.
There was a pattering of footsteps outside the room and the door opened suddenly. A fair haired woman holding a chocobo doll in her arms came in. She had a terribly kind face that was fraught with concern. "Sephiroth!" she said, putting the chocobo doll down on the dresser. The woman came over to the side of his bed. "Sephiroth, are you all right?"
"Um, yeah, I'm fine," he said. "Thanks."
An expression of relief crossed her face. "I'm so glad. I totally understand that you tried to run away and I forgive you."
Sephiroth cocked his head. I tried to run away? He shook the thought from his mind and asked what he thought was the obvious question: "Who are you?"
The woman blinked. "It's me, Miriam. You know, Ma'am."
"I've never seen you before," he said.
She put her hands on her hips. "Sephiroth, that's not funny."
"Really, I haven't," he insisted. The lady's face was a mask of hopeless despair.
"Hojo...he didn't...." she said to herself. Leaning forward she placed her fingers lightly on either side of Sephiroth's face and looked into his eyes. Her own shone with tears. "Sephiroth, please say you know me."
He furrowed his brow and thought, and there was something, something in that face and voice and touch that struck a chord deep within him, but as soon as it came it disappeared again like a swirl of sand on the breath of the breeze. He shook his head. "Sorry, I don't know you." He felt terrible saying that, but it was the truth.
With a shaking hand she wiped a tear from her eye and smiled at him sadly. Then she bent down and kissed him on the forehead.
Sephiroth felt his eyes widen. He was being kissed by a total stranger, yet it all felt so comforting. He breathed in her sweet scent. It was flowery, sunny, like a bed of roses. Emotions came flooding back, making his heart ache almost painfully. And then some lost part of him wanted to cry too, to be hugged by this woman, to be told everything was going to be all right, the sweet lie that everyone wanted to hear and believe.
At last she pulled away, the same sad smile on her lips. "I guess you won't be coming home to me any more," she said pushing a lock of silvery hair out of his face. "I'm sorry." Rising up again, she gave him a final wave and walked out the door. That was the last time he ever saw her.
Sephiroth sat on his bed still staring after her. Who was that anyway? She had been awfully nice. And she had mentioned Hojo.
He frowned. Yes, Hojo. It was a name he equated with pain and suffering. That's right. That man had hurt him many times. Done something to him. His hand formed into a fist. When he did this, a green materia orb fell from his watchband.
How did I get this? He thought. Nothing seemed to make sense today. As he raised his gaze from the materia, his eyes fell upon the chocobo doll.
What a stupid doll, he thought with a smirk. I think I'm a little too old for that. He extended his arm. The doll burst into flame and fell to the floor smoldering.
A little too old.
Taking in the acrid smell of smoking stuffing and fabric, he sat back and watched it burn.