Okay people. This is officially the last chapter of this story barring the epilogue which will soon follow. Hopefully.

I thank all of you for your patience with me and my random, unexplained sabbaticals. If anyone would like to complain you may send your kibitzing to the email address posted below. Akichi abandoned me in my hour of need for humorous writiing. He advised me to simply leave this incomplete. But I couldn't do it.

Samanda

complaintsdept@hellgate.net

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the things mentioned in the story below. Any characters used for the amusement of others do not belong to me in any way. Have a nice day.

How I Blew My Summer Vacation

Chapter Seven: How Barbie and Honey Groove With The Devil

Written By:

Samanda Hime-sama and Akichi

Mimiru sighed as she plopped down in the driver's seat. "Do we really have to go back?"

"We went for pizza then saw a movie." Tsukasa said. "Let's just go home. I'm tired of Kite text messaging me."

"I just want to relax for a while," Subaru agreed with Tsukasa. "I'm ready to go back."

Mimiru looked at Krim. He shrugged. "I'm tired too. This is a vacation for me too, you know."

"Fine." Mimiru sighed and turned on the van. "Don't blame me if they blew up the house while we were gone."

**************************

Silence held the four in it's grip as they pulled into the driveway. Subaru gasped then covered her mouth with her hand. Krim merely closed his eyes and shook his head. Tsukasa was speechless but that didn't last long.

"Oh God. Bear is going to kill me!" Tsukasa said fervently.

Krim found his voice. "You were wrong, Mimiru. It wasn't the house. It was only the garage."

"Park," Tsukasa ordered. "I need to talk to the firemen."

"Yes, sir." Mimiru said sarcastically then parked.

Tsukasa jumped out of the van. He cornered a firefighter and asked him what was going on. The fireman, happy that son of the house owner was there, freely answered his questions.

"Arson?" Tsukasa yelled. "Kite and Rose blew up Bear's garage?"

The fireman squinted at him tiredly. "Apparently the young lady had a pipe bomb hidden in the garage. You're lucky that it went off at such an opportune time. No one was hurt."

"So I'm lucky." Tsukasa said sarcastically. "I want to press charges against them!"

The rest of the group hurried over as they heard Tsukasa's voice getting louder before he started yelling at the fireman. Recognizing that Tsukasa had gone beyond his breaking point, Krim drug him away forcibly and made him sit in the van.

Mimiru and Subaru looked at each other, for once in perfect agreement, as Subaru headed for the van to calm down a raging Tsukasa. Mimiru stayed near the fireman and asked to speak with the criminals.

"They're over there." The fireman jerked a finger in the direction of a police car.

Mimiru smiled. "Thanks."

Mimiru and Krim went over to talk to Kite and Rose. Both were a little dirty as the cops had made them lay down flat on the ground so they could cuff them. Kite looked scared but Rose simply looked pissed.

"They will feel my wrath." She said calmly.

At this announcement, Kite lost what little color he had. His hands clenched and whitened as he cowered away from Rose. The small movement attracted Rose' attention and she turned towards Kite. She gave him a small smile and patted his cheek gently.

"Don't worry, koi." She looked towards the police then noticed Mimiru and Krim. "Hello, you two. Came to bail us out I hope."

"It depends." Krim answered. "What are you willing to do to stay out of jail?"

"Anything," Kite said desperately. "Just don't let me become the cell mate of some guy who likes to molest other guys. Please."

Mimiru's eyes took on a crafty look. "I have a good trade in mind for you."

"What is it?" Kite said eagerly.

"I'm much more in favor of my idea." Rose spoke in a dramatic secretive whisper that could be heard by everyone.

"Pay for the damages you two did to the house and we'll call it square." Mimiru said evenly.

Kite was in despair. "But how will we do that?"

"The prize money would be a good start." Mimiru said slowly as if the idea had just occurred to her.

Rose was quick to shoot that idea down. "No, we need that money to fund our adult website."

"Rose!" Kite protested, flushing. "They don't need to know that."

Rose smirked. "Tough. You know as well as I do that we need to purchase more merchandise to sell."

"The way I see it," Krim broke in. "You have two options here. Jail or reimbursement to Tsukasa's father. What will you pick?"

"Jail." Rose said flatly. "I can always pimp Kite out in exchange for protection."

Kite whined. "Rose. That's not funny."

"Whoever said I was joking?" Rose looked at him.

Kite started to get angry. "Fine then. I guess some secrets are bound to slip out."

Rose looked alarmed. "Now, see here, Kite."

Kite looked at Krim and said conversationally. "Did you know that Rose once sang a Barbara Streisand song for a talent show when she was twelve?"

"Uh, no. I didn't." Krim cleared his throat and looked away from Rose, who quivered with aggravation.

In a stunning role reversal, Kite took charge as he continued to tell Krim embarrassing anecdotes from Rose's childhood. For once Rose was speechless. She could only interrupt helplessly as Kite steam rolled over her and dismissed her objections.

"Give them the money!" She screamed finally as Kite switched his gaze to Mimiru and continued the torture,

Kite said in satisfaction. "I knew you'd see it my way."

Mimiru whispered to Krim, "I guess Rose' fantasy about Draco Malfoy dressing up as Barbie and drizzling honey all over the Tazmanian Devil is disturbing. Especially coupled with voyeurism."

"Scary." Krim shuddered.

"Tell Tsukasa we agree to it." Kite said in a surprisingly firm tone of voice.

Mimiru smiled. "Got it."

As Mimiru and Krim walked off towards Tsukasa they could hear Kite murmur, "I want to see you in your old Catholic school girl uniform. Knee high socks and all."

"With a lollipop in my mouth and a whip in my hand?" Rose said seductively.

Mimiru shivered and Krim agreed with her sentiment. "That's just not right..."

In the meantime....

"Can you let me go now?" Mistral sniffed pitifully then looked up into the firefighter's face.

"No ma'am." He said cheerfully if sympathetically. "You'll have to wait for the police to do that."

"What's your name?" She asked, thinking he was cute and cursing her own sooty, dirty appearance.

"Akichi, ma'am." He smiled.

Mistral smiled dazzlingly. "I'm Mistral. Can you help me get my Uncle out of here?"

"Where is he?" Akichi asked with concern.