Night Shadows- Chapter 15

A.K.A. "Oh, fuck!"

by Tanyaneko

Disclaimer: Not mine. Ha ha ha! You can't sue me now!"

A/N: Thank you to all the wonderful people reviewing, I love you all! Alannapurple, Jackie, coherentidiot, SpunkoLotus, Baby, pan-chan16k, MBJade, mrchezzysnickers, dolphincutie, SSJ Son Kat, Lady of Flame, Animechick, Riptide, Bluedreamer, Angelness, Supaa Saiyajin Trinity, dbz obsessed, and dragon agility!

A/N # 2: This is pretty much a filler chapter, a slightly humorous bit to break up all the angst (I know it was getting pretty thick). The main theme/joke is pretty childish, it's just me trying to get all the DBZ characters to say "Oh, fuck." Yeah. Pretty stupid. But whatever. If you want to read it, here it is. (And yeah, there are little bits that actually pertain to the story.)

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"Oh, fuck!" Chi Chi screamed after dropping the comically large pot of water she'd been bringing to the stove for boiling.

And so it began.

She frowned as she began mopping up the spilled liquid. If Goku had been there, he could have carried it for her. "I miss my Goku." She sniffled, and then suddenly started bawling. "Why'd you leave me, Goku?" she cried. "How dare you leave me! I swear, Goku, when I see you again…"

~*~

Where Goku was, he watched with horrified eyes. Sure, he loved Chi Chi, but the woman could be awfully scary sometimes. I just hope she can't bring the frying pan to Heaven with her, he thought, cringing. He walked over to a conveniently nearby large white sign that read: 'Things Permitted in Heaven.'

"Hmm…" he said to himself, glancing at the long list. "Angels, clouds… no, lower… harps… no, higher… D, E, F… frying pans!" His eyes widened, and he hoped that Chi Chi lived a nice long- no, really, really long life. He thought of his wonderful wife and her wonderful cooking… and then her horrifying, terror-striking, weapon-of-doom frying pan.

"Oh, fuck," the spiky-haired man muttered, before promptly clamping a hand over his mouth. He hoped nobody else in Heaven had heard him. He'd been told you could get booted downstairs for things like that.

~*~

Down in HFIL, certain villainous residents shrieked in terror. "Oh, fuck!" They remembered the beatings they'd gotten the last time they'd met Goku, and hoped- really, really hoped that nobody up there had heard Goku's little slip.

~*~

Up in Heaven, Goku sighed in relief. He'd gotten away with it. He was preparing to send a thank-you to Dende when his stomach rumbled. Immediately, he forgot everything that had just happened. "Time to eat!" he called out happily.

~*~

In her kitchen, Chi Chi had finally stopped ranting, and was crying again. Of course, this did nothing to help mop up the spill and instead, the water level began to rise as Chi Chi continued to sob until she was drowning in her own kitchen.

~*~

Hmm. I should probably Help Chi Chi with the cooking, Videl thought as she walked next door to her mother-in-law's house. As she twisted the doorknob and pulled open the door, water rushed out violently to greet her.

"Oh, fuck!" she yelled as it carried her away.

It deposited her rather unceremoniously in a bush, and she hissed at the ugly red scratches it left on her skin. While she picked twigs off of herself, she heard people talking.

~*~

"Oh, fuck," Marron was whispering over and over again as she stared at her left hand, at the place where a diamond ring would lie in a few days. "Oh, fuck," she repeated, tears in her eyes. "How, how am I going to tell Ubuu?"

And that was when he walked up to her.

"Tell me what?" The dark skinned man asked with a grin. "Good news, I hope."

Then she looked up at him and he noticed her teary eyes. "What's wrong?"

"He said yes," she admitted, her voice quiet and broken.

"What? Oh, fuck!" A second later, he added, "I'm going to kill him."

When he was about to fly off, the blond woman grabbed his arm. "Don't do that, Ubuu," she pleaded. "I don't want to become a widow before I'm married," she commented, trying to joke.

"It's not funny, Marron," Ubuu insisted, but the knot between his eyebrows loosened and a hint of a smile appeared on his face.

"I know. And he's being stupid and stubborn and worst of all, he's not you. But I know we'll find a way." Her voice was slightly wavering from her wanting to cry, but still undeniably determined.

"How are we going to turn him into me?" Ubuu quipped.

"I thought you said it wasn't funny."

"Maybe I changed my mind." Then the lightly joking tone in his voice changed into a determination similar to hers just a moment before. "I know, too. We'll make it. We will."

~*~

Bra saw Ubuu and Marron hugging as she walked to Goten's place, but she was too preoccupied with what Pan had told her to wonder why Pan's boyfriend and Trunks's fiancée were in each other's arms.

When she finally got there, she was surprised to see the front door wide open, swinging back and forth in the light breeze. It was then she heard a distinctive *squelch* and she looked down at her new high heels, covered in mud. "Oh, fuck. I just bought these yesterday!" That was when she noticed that everything looked as if a flood had hit. She walked in and she saw Chi Chi sobbing in the middle of her water-covered kitchen floor. Immediately deciding she didn't want anything to do with that, Bra shook her head and headed straight for Goten's room. As she walked, she wondered about the kitchen. What the HFIL happened here?

~*~

"What the HFIL happened here?" Vegeta roared as he opened the refrigerator and found it empty. He was about to yell for Bulma to go out and get something when he heard a crash- coming from the direction of her lab.

"Oh, fuck." Any second now, he'd have to hear his wife's annoying-

"Oh, fuck!" Bulma screeched. "That was my new prototype! Oh fuck, of fuck, oh fuck!"

There it was. Well, now I know the woman is still alive. He shrugged and went back to searching for food.

~*~

Food… yum. Gohan was hungry and walked to his mother's house to see if she'd cooked anything yet.

When he saw the mess of the kitchen, an "oh, fuck" slipped his lips before he realized his mother was sitting there. Once he did notice her presence, and the fact that she was glaring at him for using such language, he ran out of the house and flew away as fast as he could.

He crashed into a meditating Piccolo and answered simply, "My mother," to his former mentor's "What are you doing here?"

~*~

"What are you doing here?" Goten asked Bra.

"Why are you smiling?" She asked back, wondering how he could be so happy when such horrible things were happening.

"You tell me first."

"No, you tell me."

"No, you tell me first."

"Trunks is going to tell Pan he loves her!" "Pan's giving up on Trunks!" they exclaimed at the same time.

"WHAT?" "WHAT?"

"Oh, fuck!" "Oh, fuck!" They groaned together. Just when things were getting good, the could go terribly wrong…

~*~

Meanwhile, Gohan and Piccolo were looking for a place to hide the demi-Saiyan from his mother. So far they'd tried Krillen and 18, Yamcha, Mr. Satan, Tien, and all the other people they knew, or even just met on the street. The response was always the same. First they'd say yes, then they'd say, "Oh, fuck!" when they realized they were dealing with the wrath of Chi Chi and refer Gohan to somewhere else.

~*~

Suddenly, all at the same time, everyone looked to the sky and yelled, "Dende, we blame you for this!"

~*~

***Kami's lookout***

"Oh, fuck," Dende whimpered, turning a paler shade of green.

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I answered at least ONE question, right? Well, next chapter, it gets serious again, don't worry.

Remember, I wanna know what you think! (In other words, reviews are very cool things.)

~Tany

P.S. Also, for a little bit of shameless self-promotion, I've started a new story, Hit and Run, which I'll be doing differently- really quick updates and short chapters style. If you like my work, you might wanna check it out. ^.~ Thanks!