*****
Walking through the corridors of Enterprise, Malcolm couldn't help but dwell on Hoshi. Maybe he had made a mistake by coming back. Circumstances were different now. If his past had taught him one thing, it was that he had a lousy track record where women were concerned.
Hell! Lita had tried to kill him – twice!
Hoshi was the exact opposite from that witch, her kindness and gentleness drew him instinctively to her. He still loved Hoshi. Would she wind up hating him like all the other women in his life? Doubts about his place in her life lingered, especially after the meeting he had just had with Captain Archer.
"Sir, I think you'll find everything is in order," Malcolm stated dryly, at attention and looking straight ahead. He handed his superior officer a PADD and continued. "I've been working on increasing phase cannon efficiency yield by twenty percent. These are the simulations I've been working on and – "
"I appreciate your enthusiasm, Lieutenant Commander, but it's late and this can wait until tomorrow morning," Jon replied, finally looking up from the terminal on his desk. "I just want to know one thing."
"Sir." Malcolm nodded in acknowledgement.
"Is serving with Lieutenant Sato going to be a problem?"
The question was unexpected, and Malcolm looked down. His only thoughts over the past two months centered on Hoshi and how to get back to her. He hadn't considered their relationship inside the confines of Starfleet regulations. He was her superior officer now, yet not within her chain of command. The sinking feeling grew in the pit of his stomach. "No, sir," he lied.
His hesitation spoke volumes and Jon knew the younger man had every intention of picking up where he had left off with his com officer. "Good."
An awkward pause stretched between them as Malcolm held his breath.
"If any problems do arise between you and Lieutenant Sato, I don't want to know about them. Is that understood?" Jon picked a PADD up and feigned interest in it; otherwise he was going to burst out laughing. It was going to be fun breaking in his new armory officer. "Dismissed."
Malcolm was too wired to do the sensible thing and go to bed. Instead, he decided to get a head start on his day – a very large head start. Dropping his bags in his assigned quarters, he walked down the hall and made his way to sickbay.
He wanted to go to her, but there was too much to contend with. A relationship with her just didn't seem feasible after everything that had transpired in his life. Malcolm hadn't even considered fraternization regulations and it felt as though Hoshi was slipping out of his grasp.
What the hell had he been thinking? Enterprise was a small ship. Not only would an affair with him jeopardize her career, it could possibly jeopardize her life. Admiral Forrest had made it perfectly clear to him. He needed go far away and maintain a low profile until the smoke from the investigation cleared.
He had a sister – Madeline. She had died shortly after he had disappeared. She had been the only normalcy he had ever had in his life, and she was dead. The memory of her life had surfaced along with all the others of his former life and he had naturally inquired after her.
She had died in an accident, or so it would seem. It wasn't until he had full access to his logs that he started to suspect her death wasn't as accidental as it was reported.
Guilt gnawed at him, and he would never know for sure, but he suspected she had been killed. Killed to silence what she knew about him and his activities. He wouldn't put it past Lita.
Cursing himself for his openness around Lita, Malcolm knew he would always wonder and never forgive himself.
Shaking the unsettling thoughts from his head, he headed to sickbay for the routine "welcome aboard physical."
Walking into sickbay, Malcolm heard the familiar sounds of the doctor's creatures, but one sound stood out – the calming clicks Hoshi always used on the bats.
"See. Here's daddy now," she purred to the creature. "Dr. Phlox?"
Malcolm stood there, unable to move. She was behind the partition and hadn't seen him yet. His feelings ran rampant – fear, hope, dread.
Hoshi stood when she got no response and made her way to the main examining area.
Clutching the pup to her chest, Hoshi saw Malcolm.
He could see the natural warmth in her eyes extinguish – a look of surprise quickly taking its place, then suddenly turning cold.
"Can't sleep?" He heard himself ask as though no time had passed between them.
The pup protested the tight hold Hoshi had on him with a flap of his wings. Turning toward the creature's cage, she released him and watched him fly to the top of it. Seeing Malcolm again had an almost dreamlike quality to it. Staring at the pips on his uniform, she raised her head defiantly, remembering how mad she was at him, and damning her own weakness around him. "What's your excuse – sir?"
He could hear the angry inflection in her question and could feel her eyes on his rank insignia. "I wanted to get a head start to my day."
"It's two o'clock in the morning. That's some start," she retorted sharply and walked out of sickbay.
Watching her leave, Malcolm grimaced. She was angry with him. It was better off if she stayed that way.
--
Hoshi glanced from the empty tactical station toward the closed door of the captain's ready room. She had gotten no sleep last night and she felt the tiredness seep deeper into her. Seeing him last night had been difficult.
When he spoke, it had rattled her. Too many nights had passed where she had dreamt of him, only to wake up without him. He had spoken to her as though no time had passed – as though nothing had ever transpired between them.
She understood he no longer had amnesia and shuddered as she remembered how cold and unapproachable he appeared now.
She had wanted to smack and shake him as she felt her attraction for him stir back to life. He had stood there calmly and she had run away.
Self-preservation. That would be the name of her existence now. His touch and words meant nothing to her. Circumstances were different. He was different. Even with amnesia, he had given hints of his true self – someone who was aloof and detached. He reminded her of her father.
Hoshi scoffed at the thought. Great! Now she had a daddy complex!
The door to the ready room opened and she studied her console like it was the most interesting thing she had ever seen. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Malcolm take his place at the tactical station.
The door to the lift opened and Commander Tucker strode onto the bridge with a PADD in his hand.
The Captain saw the engineer and grinned. "Oh good," he stated as he took the PADD from Trip. Standing, he set the PADD on his chair and looked around the bridge.
"I believe no introductions are necessary," he addressed the senior staff on the bridge. "Lt. Cmdr. Reed was transferred as our new tactical officer, effective last night. He's suggested a few ideas for some improvements. Trip, you and he need to coordinate your teams to upgrade the phase cannons."
"All right," Trip stated, nodding in acknowledgment to Malcolm.
"In addition, all crew will take the two self-defense courses Mr. Reed has recommended. The armory staff will be assessed and trained and available for individual sessions." Jon could see Hoshi shifting uneasily in her seat. She still had yet to look up from her console. Apparently the lovers had yet to reconcile.
Malcolm stared straight ahead, nodding slightly to Commander Tucker. He had spent the entire night reviewing Starfleet records, and was already familiar with Hoshi's. Her record was impressive, but it had one fundamental flaw – only the standard Starfleet defense training. She needed more. She needed to pass the Defensive Combatant level of training in order to advance further in rank.
Hoshi heard the Captain's words and clutched the console tighter. It wasn't so bad. She could be trained by any one of the armory staff. It didn't necessarily mean she would have to train with him. Either way, she was just going to have to suck it up and get used to being around him. They were living on a small ship and they were bound to run into one another sooner or later.
Looking up, she acknowledged the captain with a nod and looked past him and across the bridge. Somehow she resisted the urge to look away as she met Malcolm's gaze. His professional demeanor was remote as he acknowledged everybody on the bridge with a curt nod. His eyes lingered on her and, with the barest tilt to her head, she responded.
If he could be cold, she could be colder.
Malcolm looked down and started working, his thoughts anywhere but on his duties. Hating him would be good for her, but would it be good for him? Either way, it was how he intended them to remain – lost to one another as though they were cordial strangers.
FIN
*****
A/N – My apologies for the ending, but I felt if Hoshi and Malcolm were to ride off into the sunset together it would be forced. There would be at least another twenty chapters if I tried to do so. Always a sucker for a happy ending, I am planning a sequel.