Disclaimer: See chapter 1.
A/N: This is actually becoming rather fun! Enjoy!
OF WAR AND HOMEWORK or HOW TO PISS OFF SNAPE IN TEN SECONDS OR LESS
Harry found Professor Dumbledore just as he was coming out of his office. Glad that he wouldn't have to try and figure out which candy the old man was using for a password this week, he rushed over to him. "Professor Dumbledore!"
Dumbledore looked up, surprised. "Yes, Harry?"
"Professor, I've found something while I was working on my History essay." He quickly explained about Jack. "I told him I couldn't do it without your permission though. It's your school."
"Well, I thank you for that Harry. Captain Sparrow souds like an interesting character, to say the least. Perhaps I should meet him." The twinkle in Dumbledore's eye suggested that he knew something, but Harry knew better than to call him on it.
Harry led the headmaster down the hall where Jack's portrait hung. "Will you be able to see him now, since that part of the geis has been met?"
Albus shook his head. "I don't believe so, Harry. However, since I still wish to meet Captain Sparrow, you will simply have to release him from his confinement."
Harry smiled, knowing exactly what the elderly wizard had up his sleeve. Since he had specifically requested that Harry do as he had, all blame for this, should any be necessary, was placed squarely on the headmaster's shoulders rather than Harry's. No matter that the painting would have had its way eventually, it could have caused trouble, but Dumbledore headed it off with ease.
Harry said nothing, simply nodding in acknowledgement. He turned to Jack. "Well, you heard the man." Harry touched the frame of the painting causing it to release its prisoner. Jack had already gone back to the beach and grabbed his effects, which were comprised of his belt, pistol and sword, as well as a heavy-weather cloak that he'd never needed, so he didn't have to hold the party up at all. As the window lost its solidity, the pirate leapt through, not willing to risk the painting changing its mind.
Jack stood up on firm stone for the first time in nearly three centuries. He tipped his hat to the old wizard in front of him. "Jack Sparrow, at yer service, Headmaster."
"Actually, at Harry's service, if I'm not mistaken." The old man's eyes were twinkling again, but for some reason Jack didn't distrust him. That was amazing in itself, as a pirate often had little to gain by trusting any kind of authority figure. "We will have to find som accomodations for you, Captain, and as this is a school, I will have to ask that you leave your pistol behind in those quarters. You may, however, retain any bladed weaponry you may be carrying. As you have agreed to instruct Harry in matters of self defense, you will be granted status as a professor. I may ask you to teach a few others, as well, though not many."
Jack nodded. "Good. Then we have an accord."
"Welcome to Hogwarts, Captain Sparrow."
Before lunch time, Dumbledore had done several things to ensure that things would be ready when Jack had to teach his class. They found an empty classroom which had teacher's quarters attached to it, and Jack made a list of things he thought he would need for the class. Dumbledore told him that the class would be held three times a week, Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 4:00 in the afternoon. "And should you find that you enjoy teaching, I'll see what I can do about hiring you permanently starting next year, but that will be up to you."
Jack sat on the edge of his desk and shook his head in amusement. "What would Will and Elizabeth think of me, plyin' an honest trade?" He sighed. "Though I doubt that the seas have grown friendlier to pirates since I've been gone."
Albus shook his head. "I'm afraid not. The seas are not nearly as free as they were in your time."
"So what good am I, then? All I've ever been is a pirate. I can't see bein' a teacher for the rest of m' life."
Albus smiled. "I'm sure we will find something for you to do once this war is over. Meanwhile, I believe that we could most deffinitely use your help in a tactical capacity, not only in teaching the younger ones to defend themselves, but in battle strategy. We need every advantage we can get. If that's agreeable?"
Jack smiled. "Sounds good."
Lunch became quite an affair. Rumors of a new teacher and a new subject had already spread like wildfire over the entire student body. The Great Hall was buzzing like a swarm of insects by the time Harry got sat down. Hermione jumped on him first thing. "Where have you been?! You just disappeared after Binns sent us out after portraits. Did you find one you could use?"
Grinning at her guarolousness, Harry said, "Yes I found one, and that's where I've been. It's a very interesting story. I suppose you've heard by now that there's a new teacher here?" She and Ron, who had turned to listen to their conversation, nodded. "Well he's the man who was in the painting I found." Then he proceeded to tell them the entire story.
Ron shook his head in bewilderment. "Only you, Harry."
Harry nodded. "I know. Still this can only benefit us. And he's funny! I promise, if Dumbledore puts you in this class, you'll enjoy it."
Hermione cocked her head thoughtfully. "Do you know who Dumbledore intends to put in this class?"
Harry shook his head. "No. No idea, other than myself."
The food arried, and still there was no sign of eiter Jack or Dumbledore, until just at the very end of the meal. Dumbledore took his seat at the center of the teachers' table and Jack took the only empty chair at the Slytherin end of the table. Professor Snape looked at the pirate closely, and before even one word could be said by anyone, he had stood up. "How did this pirate get here?!"
Albus chuckled. "I take it you know of Captain Sparrow?"
Snape nodded, never taking his eyes off Sparrow. "My family has had holdings in the Caribbean since the time it was a British colony. One of my ancestors was a Comodore in the British Navy. He was hounded by this man whenever they met at sea."
Narrowing one eye and leaning forward a bit, Jack got a better look at the man in front of him. "That wouldn't be Comodore Norrington, would it?"
Glaring, Snape said, "It would."
"Ah. Well, let me explain a few things to you, then. It was Norrington that hounded my ship, or we'd never have met at sea in the first place. But he hated pirates in general and me in particular, mostly 'cause I kept winning. I believe that there were four ships to bear the name Interceptor because he gave me any choice but to destroy them. I never picked a fight with that man, not even once, but he saw it as his duty to blow every pirate out of the water, and I was the worst one in his eyes. And that little feud happened because I enabled Will Turner and Miss Elizabeth to get hitched instead of her marrying him. Not that she was too young for him or anythin'." He shrugged eloquently, seemingly unaffected by Snape. "After all, what's twelve years."
Snape growled at Sparrow, but Dumbledore intervened. "That will be quite enough, gentlemen. Please refrain from arguing in front of the children."
Sparrow grinned. "Of course, Headmaster. To answer your original question, I've actually been in this castle for about two and a half centuries, but no living humans could see me. All I've had for company is the ghosts and the paintings. I was just recently paroled, as it were."
Snape narrowed his eyes at the pirate, but said nothing.
Once lunch was over with, Dumbledore had McGonagall tap her goblet to get everyone's attention. "Thank you, Minerva. Everyone, I have a couple of anouncements. Beginning next Monday, there will be a new class, which will be attended by a few selected members of each House, called Self Defense. This is a non-magical class which will teach you hand-to-hand combat and swordplay. It will be taught by Captain Jack Sparrow, formerly of the Black Pearl, which I'm afraid has most likely not survived the centuries. The class will be held on Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 4:00 in the after noon. If you are to attend, you will recieve an owl with tomorrow's mail with the location of the classroom."
Reviews please!