Title: Unbalancing the Equation
By: SethCohenFan
Summary: Ryan is getting sick, but he doesn't admit it, and a family tragedy sends the entire Cohen family into a downward spiral. What will it take to get things back to normal? SS RM
Rating: PG-13 for now, because of language
Disclaimer: Yeah, FOX won't let me anywhere near their studios.. so.
A/n: Nothing really, just a Ryan POV...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chapter 4: Lost in the Past
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The slamming of a car door entered my otherwise peaceful sleep. I looked at the clock. Five? That was too early. Yet I got up anyways.
I saw someone pulling out of the driveway in the Range Rover. Who would, no who could it be? It looked oddly like Seth, but with the sleep in my eyes it could have been Sandy. Yawning I went back to my bed and went to sleep again.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A few hours later I woke up again. This time, I felt so much more awake. So much more better. Maybe all that convincing Seth and/or Kirsten that I was alright had finally paid off. I was definitely getting better. I smiled and headed towards the house, but stopped when I heard talking coming from inside.
"He just left Sandy," came Kirsten's voice.
"He didn't just leave, he got up early and went to Marissa's that's all. To hang with her and Summer," answered Sandy.
"Marissa? Since when does he hang out with Summer and Marissa without Ryan?"
"I don't know, but let him be. He said he'd be fine, and he will be."
"But he knew about the appointment, didn't he? He was supposed to come along," said Kirsten, sounding perfectly angry and worried at the same time.
There wasn't a response from Sandy for a while. "I know. But Ryan will be fine."
"It's not that. Seth was worried sick and then just to go and bail on it. He's leaving me with angry Ryan." What the hell? Appointment? Me? Didn't I say I was fine? What a pile of shit.
Sandy laughed at that, "Oh come on Kirsten, it won't be that bad, will it?"
Kirsten didn't respond. I sure picked a bad time to decided to come into the house, didn't I? Why didn't they trust my judgment? I said I was fine, and I am!
After a few more moments of silence, Kirsten spoke. "Well, I guess I better go and wake Ryan up."
Shit! She was coming. She'd know that I had heard and that-- crap! Quickly, without thinking, I ran towards the pool house. The door closed and I was inside. Even though it wasn't strenuous, sweat was still running down my face. Maybe I wasn't feeling as good as I thought I had been.
I crawled onto my bed and didn't bother getting under the covers. I heard the door to the house close and pretended to be asleep, which at the moment wasn't that hard at all. My eyes were closed and I was lying on my side as Kirsten opened the pool house door.
"Ryan?" she said softly, as if almost asking if I was there. Like that would wake me up. I heard her getting closer until she was right by me.
"Ryan. Wake up sweetie," she said, gently shaking my arm. Since when did she call me sweetie?
I pretended to groan and turned to look at Kirsten, "Five more minutes please," I asked trying to keep myself from laughing.
She smiled, "Sorry Ryan. We have somewhere to, uh, go." What did she think I was, stupid? Then again, she probably didn't see my eavesdropping.
"Where are we going?" I asked, not even trying to sound like I just woke up.
"Just for a short ride," she said sweetly. The sweetness was getting really irksome.
"Do I have to go?" I asked, slowly getting up.
"Yes sweetie," she responded, running her hand over my head. God, I hated it when she did that. It annoyed the hell out of me. "You're running a temperature."
A temperature? What the hell? I was running, that was why I was warm. This was horrible. Another reason for her to think that I was really sick, which of course I was not. I didn't need that. "No, I'm not," I responded, "I'm fine."
She chuckled slightly. "Just needed to check," she smiled. "So, are you sure that you're not up to a short little road trip?"
I shook my head. "There's a lot to do around here. I'll just stay here."
"Nonsense!" she smiled. The smiling was so annoying now, "Sand and Seth'll take care of it. Come on." She offered me a hand up.
"No. I think I'll just stay here. Call Marissa, you know," I said, somewhat blatantly, refusing her hand up. I wasn't going to go to any appointment, not if my life depended on it.
"Ryan, sweetie..." There she went with that sweetie shit again. I hated that! "Why not come along, It'll only be an hour tops!"
Once again, I shook my head. I didn't want to go. Sure I wasn't supposed to know that it was an appointment of some kind she was taking me to because she thought I was 'sick.' Sick!? I wasn't sick! Just a few minutes ago I was running back to the pool house to get away from Kirsten because I was eavesdropping.
"Ryan, I don't want to have to force you to come..." she said, her smile disappearing. She was really worried wasn't she?
"But-"I started.
"No buts Ryan. You're coming along," she said. The sweetness in her voice was gone. No matter how annoying I thought it was, I found myself longing for that smile to come back on her face.
"But Kirsten-"
"Ryan," she said angrily, "You have to come. Don't make me bring Sandy in here."
That was where I drew the line. Better just give up. Doing so, I stood up. The back and forth bickering had given me a slight headache, but nothing major.
"Thank you," she said, the sweetness back in her voice. "I see that you're already ready."
"Uh, yeah," I said, not really knowing what else to say.
"Good. C'mon," she smiled, heading out of the pool house. I could've just not followed. I could have just not followed, but that would have caused even more trouble, something I didn't really want or need at the moment.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Slowly, I got into the car, slamming the door. Maybe I was being a bit of a brat, but why didn't they trust me? I heard the other door close as Kirsten got in and fastened her seat belt. I fastened mine out of habit. Then I once again looked out of the window, away from Kirsten.
The engine turned over. Sure, maybe she was just trying to help. Sure maybe it was for the best. But I knew myself better than she did.
Slowly, the car backed out of the driveway and onto the road. I knew that I probably was getting sick again. But last time it went away without help. Just like it would this time.
The car sped up and the scenery all seemed to blend together. I let myself get lost. Trapped once again in the past.
***~~~***FLASHBACK***~~~***
"Mommy," I said sleepily, "Mr. Berny said that he thinks I am sick." I was six years old, and to have a teacher say I should go to a doctor and stay home amazed me.
"And I would give a shit?" my mom asked. She was drunk again. Not surprising.
"Sorry mommy," I said quietly, heading towards the room I shared with Trey. I was so tired.
"Hey kiddo," I was greeted as I entered the room. I looked up at Trey.
"Hey," I said weakly heading over to my half of the room and crawling up on my bed.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Remember Mr. Berny?" I asked quietly.
"Yeah," responded Trey. "Why?" Trey had had Mr. Berny for first grade too.
"He thinks that I'm sick, and I think I am too." I said, rolling over on the bed to face him.
It took some time for Trey to actually respond. "Did you tell mom?"
I nodded, but didn't say anything.
***~~~***END OF FLASHBACK***~~~***
"Ryan?" asked Kirsten, pulling me out of the past. I didn't reply. Why should I?
"Ryan. Please talk to me," she pleaded. I still didn't reply. There was nothing to talk about. I continued to look out of the window, getting lost in the past again.
***~~~***FLASHBACK***~~~***
I felt Mr. Berny shake me awake again. "Ryan." I opened my eyes but shut them again. "Nikki, how long has he been asleep?"
"Fifteen minutes, I think," came Nikki's voice. Damn she was a bitch. Why couldn't she just fall off the face of the planet and do everyone a favor?
"Ryan!?" asked Mr. Berny again.
"What?" I asked, not bothering to open my eyes.
"Ryan, did you talk to your mom about being sick?" I opened my eyes slightly to find him squatting down his face in front of mine.
I nodded.
"And what did she say?" The tone of his voice was so smooth, and sounded genuinely worried, unlike my mothers' the night before.
"She said she didn't care," I said, almost silently. A look of anger flashed across Mr. Berny's face. The bell rang. I yawned and went to go get my stuff.
"Ryan. Would you mind staying after class for a few minutes?" he asked. I didn't really know what was going on, but it was better than going home anyways. I nodded.
"Ooo, someone's in trouble," came Nikki's annoying voice.
"Shut up!" I shouted at her. Dammit, did she not know how freaking annoying she was.
"Ryan, come here," said Mr. Berny. I tried my hardest to ignore Nikki's taunting coming from behind me.
"Ryan is in trouble, Ryan is in trouble."
"Nikki, please leave," said Mr. Berny calmly. Thankfully, Nikki left and I was the only one in the classroom with Mr. Berny. "Sit down Ryan." Slowly, I sat down in front of the desk, which seemed to be so big. Was Nikki right? Was I really in trouble.
"Ryan." I flinched slightly. His voice was the same smooth, calming one, but I was so scared at the moment. "Ryan, you're not in trouble," I relaxed slightly.
"Then what do you want?" I asked, not knowing how annoyed I really sounded.
"Ryan, don't get angry at me, but you're really sick."
"No I'm not. My mommy said I was fine, so I am fine." I stated, trying to stay calm.
"Ryan. You said that your mother didn't care, and I do. You're getting worse and worse, and don't think I'm not noticing." I bit my lower lip. I didn't say anything, at a lack of words. "I want you to go to the doctor."
"I can't Mr. B. My mom won't let me." I said, slowly and calmly.
"Then I'll take you." I vigorously shook my head.
"No. No. I'll be fine, I swear. I won't sleep in class anymore, I promise," I said, talking quickly. I didn't want to go to a doctor. I couldn't go. Mom would kill me.
"Ryan, that is not what I am worried about. You could be really sick. You need to see a doctor."
I got up quickly. "I can't Mr. B. I just can't!" I said, running out of the door.
"RYAN!!!" he shouted. I just continued running. I was so tired, I felt like falling over, but kept running until I finally did. I fell down, hard, feeling a sharp pain in my shoulder before I could remember no more.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
When I came to, I was at the hospital. What the hell? I looked around and saw a needle with a wire attached sticking out of my arm. I tensed up. Who the hell- then it hit me. Mr. B. "Ow," I said quietly as the wire in my arm shifted.
"Mr. Atwood, you're awake," came a sweet female voice. I turned my head slightly to look at the nurse who had just walked in. She was kinda cute. Actually, she was really cute with her long blonde hair pulled back into a pony tail.
I nodded slightly and opened my mouth to talk, but the nurse stopped me. "You'll find out later." Wow. Could she read my mind? That would have been cool! I nodded again.
That was when Mr. B. came in. I didn't know whether to hate him or thank him. I didn't say a word.
The nurse smiled, "Ryan, you're a strong kid." That confused me even more. What was she talking about? I tried to move again but a sharp pain went through my shoulder. I cried out in pain.
"I'm sorry Ryan," said Mr. B.
"Why?" I asked quietly.
"I just am."
***~~~***END OF FLASHBACK***~~~***
I never really found out what was wrong with me, I wasn't tired anymore and went back to living life like usual. That was when it hit me. Mr. Berny, Kirsten, Seth, Sandy, they were worried. About me.
"Ryan?" asked Kirsten, trying to get my attention once again.
I turned to look at her this time. "What?" I asked.
"You know, don't you?" her voice was soft, and somewhat meek.
I nodded, saying nothing more. The drive was silent once again for a few more moments until the car slowed to a stop and I looked at the sign outside of the place. "Newton's Blood Center."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/n: That is where I shall end it. It was kinda long, and as you can tell, I really like writing in flashbacks and dreams. This will, hopefully, play a part later on. Now for the thanks:
HOTTERTHNU - Marissa? Who's that? Kidding. Well... ummm... uh... I'll fit Summer in... but I don't like Marissa very much. But yeah. I'll try to fit them into the story somehow.
benzbabidoll - Yeah, it is kinda weird, but it'll start making sense, hopefully in a bit.
Meghan - At the moment, I've been going from Seth to Ryan.. and this chapter had some things about it in (I think.. I'm writing this before I write the chapter)
deathcab-cutie - Thanks! I think Seth is the best OC character, which may be why I write him better than the others.
Queen of the Elven City - Gracias!
muchtvs - I try to have a few things going at once, all revolving around one or two major plots... and funny how the little things influence the big plot/s, even though you don't think so...
TeacherTam - Thanks :D
Now please hit that little go button next to the thingy that says Review. Hope you enjoied!!!
Until later,
~*~SethCohenFan~*~
By: SethCohenFan
Summary: Ryan is getting sick, but he doesn't admit it, and a family tragedy sends the entire Cohen family into a downward spiral. What will it take to get things back to normal? SS RM
Rating: PG-13 for now, because of language
Disclaimer: Yeah, FOX won't let me anywhere near their studios.. so.
A/n: Nothing really, just a Ryan POV...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chapter 4: Lost in the Past
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The slamming of a car door entered my otherwise peaceful sleep. I looked at the clock. Five? That was too early. Yet I got up anyways.
I saw someone pulling out of the driveway in the Range Rover. Who would, no who could it be? It looked oddly like Seth, but with the sleep in my eyes it could have been Sandy. Yawning I went back to my bed and went to sleep again.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A few hours later I woke up again. This time, I felt so much more awake. So much more better. Maybe all that convincing Seth and/or Kirsten that I was alright had finally paid off. I was definitely getting better. I smiled and headed towards the house, but stopped when I heard talking coming from inside.
"He just left Sandy," came Kirsten's voice.
"He didn't just leave, he got up early and went to Marissa's that's all. To hang with her and Summer," answered Sandy.
"Marissa? Since when does he hang out with Summer and Marissa without Ryan?"
"I don't know, but let him be. He said he'd be fine, and he will be."
"But he knew about the appointment, didn't he? He was supposed to come along," said Kirsten, sounding perfectly angry and worried at the same time.
There wasn't a response from Sandy for a while. "I know. But Ryan will be fine."
"It's not that. Seth was worried sick and then just to go and bail on it. He's leaving me with angry Ryan." What the hell? Appointment? Me? Didn't I say I was fine? What a pile of shit.
Sandy laughed at that, "Oh come on Kirsten, it won't be that bad, will it?"
Kirsten didn't respond. I sure picked a bad time to decided to come into the house, didn't I? Why didn't they trust my judgment? I said I was fine, and I am!
After a few more moments of silence, Kirsten spoke. "Well, I guess I better go and wake Ryan up."
Shit! She was coming. She'd know that I had heard and that-- crap! Quickly, without thinking, I ran towards the pool house. The door closed and I was inside. Even though it wasn't strenuous, sweat was still running down my face. Maybe I wasn't feeling as good as I thought I had been.
I crawled onto my bed and didn't bother getting under the covers. I heard the door to the house close and pretended to be asleep, which at the moment wasn't that hard at all. My eyes were closed and I was lying on my side as Kirsten opened the pool house door.
"Ryan?" she said softly, as if almost asking if I was there. Like that would wake me up. I heard her getting closer until she was right by me.
"Ryan. Wake up sweetie," she said, gently shaking my arm. Since when did she call me sweetie?
I pretended to groan and turned to look at Kirsten, "Five more minutes please," I asked trying to keep myself from laughing.
She smiled, "Sorry Ryan. We have somewhere to, uh, go." What did she think I was, stupid? Then again, she probably didn't see my eavesdropping.
"Where are we going?" I asked, not even trying to sound like I just woke up.
"Just for a short ride," she said sweetly. The sweetness was getting really irksome.
"Do I have to go?" I asked, slowly getting up.
"Yes sweetie," she responded, running her hand over my head. God, I hated it when she did that. It annoyed the hell out of me. "You're running a temperature."
A temperature? What the hell? I was running, that was why I was warm. This was horrible. Another reason for her to think that I was really sick, which of course I was not. I didn't need that. "No, I'm not," I responded, "I'm fine."
She chuckled slightly. "Just needed to check," she smiled. "So, are you sure that you're not up to a short little road trip?"
I shook my head. "There's a lot to do around here. I'll just stay here."
"Nonsense!" she smiled. The smiling was so annoying now, "Sand and Seth'll take care of it. Come on." She offered me a hand up.
"No. I think I'll just stay here. Call Marissa, you know," I said, somewhat blatantly, refusing her hand up. I wasn't going to go to any appointment, not if my life depended on it.
"Ryan, sweetie..." There she went with that sweetie shit again. I hated that! "Why not come along, It'll only be an hour tops!"
Once again, I shook my head. I didn't want to go. Sure I wasn't supposed to know that it was an appointment of some kind she was taking me to because she thought I was 'sick.' Sick!? I wasn't sick! Just a few minutes ago I was running back to the pool house to get away from Kirsten because I was eavesdropping.
"Ryan, I don't want to have to force you to come..." she said, her smile disappearing. She was really worried wasn't she?
"But-"I started.
"No buts Ryan. You're coming along," she said. The sweetness in her voice was gone. No matter how annoying I thought it was, I found myself longing for that smile to come back on her face.
"But Kirsten-"
"Ryan," she said angrily, "You have to come. Don't make me bring Sandy in here."
That was where I drew the line. Better just give up. Doing so, I stood up. The back and forth bickering had given me a slight headache, but nothing major.
"Thank you," she said, the sweetness back in her voice. "I see that you're already ready."
"Uh, yeah," I said, not really knowing what else to say.
"Good. C'mon," she smiled, heading out of the pool house. I could've just not followed. I could have just not followed, but that would have caused even more trouble, something I didn't really want or need at the moment.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Slowly, I got into the car, slamming the door. Maybe I was being a bit of a brat, but why didn't they trust me? I heard the other door close as Kirsten got in and fastened her seat belt. I fastened mine out of habit. Then I once again looked out of the window, away from Kirsten.
The engine turned over. Sure, maybe she was just trying to help. Sure maybe it was for the best. But I knew myself better than she did.
Slowly, the car backed out of the driveway and onto the road. I knew that I probably was getting sick again. But last time it went away without help. Just like it would this time.
The car sped up and the scenery all seemed to blend together. I let myself get lost. Trapped once again in the past.
***~~~***FLASHBACK***~~~***
"Mommy," I said sleepily, "Mr. Berny said that he thinks I am sick." I was six years old, and to have a teacher say I should go to a doctor and stay home amazed me.
"And I would give a shit?" my mom asked. She was drunk again. Not surprising.
"Sorry mommy," I said quietly, heading towards the room I shared with Trey. I was so tired.
"Hey kiddo," I was greeted as I entered the room. I looked up at Trey.
"Hey," I said weakly heading over to my half of the room and crawling up on my bed.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Remember Mr. Berny?" I asked quietly.
"Yeah," responded Trey. "Why?" Trey had had Mr. Berny for first grade too.
"He thinks that I'm sick, and I think I am too." I said, rolling over on the bed to face him.
It took some time for Trey to actually respond. "Did you tell mom?"
I nodded, but didn't say anything.
***~~~***END OF FLASHBACK***~~~***
"Ryan?" asked Kirsten, pulling me out of the past. I didn't reply. Why should I?
"Ryan. Please talk to me," she pleaded. I still didn't reply. There was nothing to talk about. I continued to look out of the window, getting lost in the past again.
***~~~***FLASHBACK***~~~***
I felt Mr. Berny shake me awake again. "Ryan." I opened my eyes but shut them again. "Nikki, how long has he been asleep?"
"Fifteen minutes, I think," came Nikki's voice. Damn she was a bitch. Why couldn't she just fall off the face of the planet and do everyone a favor?
"Ryan!?" asked Mr. Berny again.
"What?" I asked, not bothering to open my eyes.
"Ryan, did you talk to your mom about being sick?" I opened my eyes slightly to find him squatting down his face in front of mine.
I nodded.
"And what did she say?" The tone of his voice was so smooth, and sounded genuinely worried, unlike my mothers' the night before.
"She said she didn't care," I said, almost silently. A look of anger flashed across Mr. Berny's face. The bell rang. I yawned and went to go get my stuff.
"Ryan. Would you mind staying after class for a few minutes?" he asked. I didn't really know what was going on, but it was better than going home anyways. I nodded.
"Ooo, someone's in trouble," came Nikki's annoying voice.
"Shut up!" I shouted at her. Dammit, did she not know how freaking annoying she was.
"Ryan, come here," said Mr. Berny. I tried my hardest to ignore Nikki's taunting coming from behind me.
"Ryan is in trouble, Ryan is in trouble."
"Nikki, please leave," said Mr. Berny calmly. Thankfully, Nikki left and I was the only one in the classroom with Mr. Berny. "Sit down Ryan." Slowly, I sat down in front of the desk, which seemed to be so big. Was Nikki right? Was I really in trouble.
"Ryan." I flinched slightly. His voice was the same smooth, calming one, but I was so scared at the moment. "Ryan, you're not in trouble," I relaxed slightly.
"Then what do you want?" I asked, not knowing how annoyed I really sounded.
"Ryan, don't get angry at me, but you're really sick."
"No I'm not. My mommy said I was fine, so I am fine." I stated, trying to stay calm.
"Ryan. You said that your mother didn't care, and I do. You're getting worse and worse, and don't think I'm not noticing." I bit my lower lip. I didn't say anything, at a lack of words. "I want you to go to the doctor."
"I can't Mr. B. My mom won't let me." I said, slowly and calmly.
"Then I'll take you." I vigorously shook my head.
"No. No. I'll be fine, I swear. I won't sleep in class anymore, I promise," I said, talking quickly. I didn't want to go to a doctor. I couldn't go. Mom would kill me.
"Ryan, that is not what I am worried about. You could be really sick. You need to see a doctor."
I got up quickly. "I can't Mr. B. I just can't!" I said, running out of the door.
"RYAN!!!" he shouted. I just continued running. I was so tired, I felt like falling over, but kept running until I finally did. I fell down, hard, feeling a sharp pain in my shoulder before I could remember no more.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
When I came to, I was at the hospital. What the hell? I looked around and saw a needle with a wire attached sticking out of my arm. I tensed up. Who the hell- then it hit me. Mr. B. "Ow," I said quietly as the wire in my arm shifted.
"Mr. Atwood, you're awake," came a sweet female voice. I turned my head slightly to look at the nurse who had just walked in. She was kinda cute. Actually, she was really cute with her long blonde hair pulled back into a pony tail.
I nodded slightly and opened my mouth to talk, but the nurse stopped me. "You'll find out later." Wow. Could she read my mind? That would have been cool! I nodded again.
That was when Mr. B. came in. I didn't know whether to hate him or thank him. I didn't say a word.
The nurse smiled, "Ryan, you're a strong kid." That confused me even more. What was she talking about? I tried to move again but a sharp pain went through my shoulder. I cried out in pain.
"I'm sorry Ryan," said Mr. B.
"Why?" I asked quietly.
"I just am."
***~~~***END OF FLASHBACK***~~~***
I never really found out what was wrong with me, I wasn't tired anymore and went back to living life like usual. That was when it hit me. Mr. Berny, Kirsten, Seth, Sandy, they were worried. About me.
"Ryan?" asked Kirsten, trying to get my attention once again.
I turned to look at her this time. "What?" I asked.
"You know, don't you?" her voice was soft, and somewhat meek.
I nodded, saying nothing more. The drive was silent once again for a few more moments until the car slowed to a stop and I looked at the sign outside of the place. "Newton's Blood Center."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/n: That is where I shall end it. It was kinda long, and as you can tell, I really like writing in flashbacks and dreams. This will, hopefully, play a part later on. Now for the thanks:
HOTTERTHNU - Marissa? Who's that? Kidding. Well... ummm... uh... I'll fit Summer in... but I don't like Marissa very much. But yeah. I'll try to fit them into the story somehow.
benzbabidoll - Yeah, it is kinda weird, but it'll start making sense, hopefully in a bit.
Meghan - At the moment, I've been going from Seth to Ryan.. and this chapter had some things about it in (I think.. I'm writing this before I write the chapter)
deathcab-cutie - Thanks! I think Seth is the best OC character, which may be why I write him better than the others.
Queen of the Elven City - Gracias!
muchtvs - I try to have a few things going at once, all revolving around one or two major plots... and funny how the little things influence the big plot/s, even though you don't think so...
TeacherTam - Thanks :D
Now please hit that little go button next to the thingy that says Review. Hope you enjoied!!!
Until later,
~*~SethCohenFan~*~