I never realized how much I took things like electricity and windows for granted until I went to find the crew's barracks. Of course, it might have been easier to go down the stairs if I didn't have the Buick dress blocking my view of my feet. Or what little view there was, since I didn't think to bring a candle with me.

This was hindsight, of course. I was on my ass, tangled up in the dress and trying to figure out how to get back on my feet.

"Need some help there, poppet?" Two hands reached me only a millisecond before my helper's intense body odor did. He propped me back on my feet again. "Better?"

"Thanks." And look at that. He brought a candle.

Stinky grinned at me. Apparently, dentistry was also a modern marvel that I took for granted. "What'cha doin' down here all by your onesies?"

"I was looking for the crew's barracks."

"Coming to visit us, she was, Stark." Another pirate came up behind Stinky. This one had an impressive potbelly. "Looking for a real man or two, weren't ya?"

"Three, more like." And here came another one. "Hullo, pet."

I took a step back. "So. Were any of you friendly with Callinan?"

"Why? Was ye thinkin' of comfortin' us in our grief," asked Potbelly.

I ignored the sniggering and tried again. "Did he have any friends on board? Any enemies?"

Potbelly mock-sniffled loudly. "He was me best mate, 'e was. Whyn't you hold me to your bosom and comfort me good?"

"I got somethin' here she can hold," Stinky added.

I knew before I looked that he was waggling his wonkie at me. It was a trend. Everyone from flashers to the nicest guy in the Burg felt compelled to show me his equipment. Even though I had a pretty good idea of what I was going to see, I looked anyway. "Kinda small, isn't it?"

Probably that was the wrong thing to say.

Stinky smacked me across the face. And since I was wearing the stupid dress, I lost my balance and fell onto my ass. Again. Lucky for me I was wearing my Cat boots, because I kicked Stinky right in his exposed package before he could do anything else.

Stinky hit a high C.

Potbelly loomed over me now. "That weren't very nice, love. I think we better teach you some manners."

"What the blazes is going on?!" Sparrow's voice. He must have been right behind Potbelly.

Potbelly backed away a step, which was enough room for Sparrow to punch him full in the face.

I used the opportunity to scramble to my feet. I grabbed Stinky by his shirt and rammed the heel of my hand into his nose, just like Ranger taught me. The sound of crunching bone told me I did it right. "Next time you feel like showing off your pathetic, little doodle, remember me."

"Oi! By dose! Ye broke by bleebin' dose!"

Sparrow was staring at me. "He showed you his what?"

I pointed to Stinky's limp little unit.

"Oh." He looked back at me again and back at the three goons. "Mates, you're all going to be pulling extra duties. And I expect that the three of you will watch over the lady for the rest of the voyage to make sure there are no similar incidents, understood?"

"Yes, sir."

"Aye, sir."

"By dose!"

****************************************************

Sparrow didn't say a word to me on the way back to his cabin. He guided me inside, pushed me into a chair and reached into a cabinet. It was only after he poured himself a drink and drained the cup that he gave me his undivided attention.

"So."

Oh boy, he didn't look happy.

"Have ye figured out why wanderin' around by your onesies on a pirate ship ain't a good idea?"

"I was trying ---"

"You were out of my sight. Think, for God's sake! These men have been at sea for months and here you are, prancin' around in that dress –"

"Prancing? I can't even walk in the stupid thing without falling on my ass!" I grabbed his cup and poured myself a drink. Whatever it was, it smelled pretty foul, but I took a healthy slug of it anyway. My eyes watered and I began to cough. "What is that?"

"'s rum, love."

Bacardi it wasn't. I took another sip anyway. "How come that pirate chick can wander around by her onesies and I can't?"

"Because she's a pirate...chick."

Oh great. Now we were swapping slang. "And I'm a bounty hunter."

"Oh yes, a real, what was the word, badass, aren't ye?" He folded his arms over his chest and shook his head at me. "You're not to do anything like that again, savvy?"

"I was trying to help."

"By doing what exactly?"

"I was going to look through Callinan's stuff and see if anything was missing."

Sparrow looked at me as if I were a few doughnuts short of a dozen. "If ye've never met the man, how would ye know?"

"If somebody tossed his stuff, it would be pretty obvious," I guessed. "Maybe he had something somebody else wanted or he knew something he shouldn't have –"

"Or maybe it's like I said and we've got a stowaway."

"Wouldn't your crew have found him by now?"

"It's a big ship, love, with lots of places to hide."

"That's reassuring."

"I'll protect ye, pet. Just don't do anything stupid and you'll be fine." He leaned down and looked into my eyes. "No more wandering around by yourself."

"If I weren't wearing this stupid dress, I would've been able to handle Stinky and his friends just fine!"

"Do tell."

"I'm a bounty hunter, Sparrow! I can handle myself." Sometimes.

"That's Captain Sparrow. Captain! And don't ye dare roll yer eyes at me!"

Wow. He got me before I could roll my eyes. This guy was good!

"Now," he said, eyeing me carefully, "I don't have any cake, but I think I have something that should satisfy you."

Yeah, he was definitely good.