Disclaimer - I do not own Lord of the Rings(unless you count the four DVDs and the five books, and the bookmark, and the pictures, and the belt buckle(which is kick-ass, but actually belongs to my dad), and THE ONE RING!(yeah, it's actually a napkin ring, but let's not nit-pick). Lord of the Rings belongs to the late JRR Tolkien, and people with money(lucky people).
Author's note - I am torn between following the book and following the movie, which is why . . . well, you'll see.
It was a darkness like nothing else. I don't mind the dark, but this was . . . otherworldly. It swallowed the screams. We were falling.
I hate falling.
I don't even like jumping out of trees.
I hate the feeling you get when you're lying down, almost asleep, and then you feel yourself falling forward, and you jump awake. This was exactly like that, except there was nowhere to jump . . .
Screams turned to sobs, and the jump came. One moment I was falling, the next, I was leaping upwards from a bed of leaves. I shook my head, trying to clear it, to prove myself back in school, with a bad headache from knocking my head against the wall, but the dream didn't end. I raised a hand to my face, and started. That was not my hand.
My hands were large, with square palms and just-so fingers. I'd recognize them anywhere. Not here. These were long, slender, white, with fingers that were not just-so. They were perfect. The trend was continuing up my arm. Where was the hair?! The dark hairs that were a definite feature? Where are the freckles, the fat?! Don't get me wrong, I'm not a behemoth, but I'm not what you'd call slim, and this was definitely slim.
I sat up, and reached round for my bag. No dice, or rather, no bag. Panic was beginning to set in. No bag, wrong body, wrong clothes! I own maybe, what, one dress? I certainly don't wear it to school, and it is certainly not this dress. This was . . . nice. It was brown and blue and it fit. I took quick notice of the knife hanging from a belt . . . a very nice belt, and its presence gave me an odd comfort. Hey, as long as I can maim something, probably myself, I'm happy.
I looked at my hand again. The nail polish was gone. Damn. It was pretty. It was also what got me into this mess. Speaking of mess . . .
"What the hell is going on?!" Yes, my prom princess had followed me to this . . . place. She looked fantastic. Her typically short, ironed-flat-and-crispy blond hair was now long, full, and shiny - healthy shiny, not I've-got-so-much-gel-in-my-hair-it's-driving-my-neck-into-my-chest-through-sheer-weight-shiny. And her face - it was Mary-Sue gorgeous, without makeup. Big blue eyes, full lips, pale as a cloud with a faint blush . . . wait a minute. Mary-Sue?
"Oh my God," I whispered. There was a lake nearby(quite convienently, ah, the joys of authoring). I stared into a reflection that was not mine. A delicate face with a pointed chin and actual defined cheekbones looked up at me, not round, like it should have been. Gone were the dark circles and any sign of acne or freckles. Even the scar next to my eye, where I had once cut a small piece of skin out with a pair of scissors was gone. My dark hair was even longer than usual, all the way to my waist, lush and full, and for the first time in history, free of tangles and split-ends.
In the name of wonder, I was a Mary-Sue.
Except for one thing . . . my eyes. They were my own. They're nice enough on their own, big, long dark lashes, but they are not Sue eyes. Sue eyes are true blue, or emerald green, or jet black, or deep, soulful brown. Mine were still their bizzare hazel. Ring of bittersweet, ring of faceted green with blue-green crescents, ring of faceted gold, ring of solid dark pine green. Somethings are too strong even for magic to change, I suppose, whatever foul magic had made me what I am.
"I saaaiiiiiiiiiidd, what the hell is going on?!" I looked back at Angelica, and found myself unconciously gripping my knife. She was too pretty, and my instincts were taking hold. 'Destroy the beauty,' a voice whispered in my mind, 'don't let it live.' Another one, deeper and more horrible hissed, 'No. Destroy yourself. See what you have become. Ruin it.' I shook my head again.
"It would appear, o loud and annoying one, that we have been transported into another dimension."
"What the hell does that mean, and why the hell do you look like that?!"
"Well, I can see what the word of the hour is," I muttered, and then, louder, "It means, sweetheart, that we are no longer in our school, nor likely on our world."
"Shut up!"
"I look like I do because of an odd but binding clause that says that no girl can be transported into another world without first becoming the epitome of human perfection." Even my glasses were gone, but my sight was crystal clear.
"Shut up and speak English, you geek!" She was freaking out. If her mind couldn't twist its way around this problem, it could break.
"It's magic, okay?! Magic! Magic that makes you gorgeous! Take a look!" I gestured at the pool. She rushed over, and nearly tumbled into the pool when she saw her new Sue look.
"That's not possible. There's no such thing as magic!"
I ignored her. Time to find out where the bleedin' hell we were. Damn. She's rubbing off on me.
I took a step forward, and two things happened at once. Angelica, in supremely-pissed-off-bitch mode, tackled me from behind, and as I dove forward to roll her off, a horse leapt over me. Shaking the screaming brat off of me(admittedly adding a scream of my own), I stood up and watched the white horse fly like the devil himself was making chase. Two riders clung gamely to its back, a young woman with long dark hair, and a child of indeterminate gender at that speed. It looked oddly familiar, a sensation driven deeper by the four black horses that leapt from the trees. However, said riders forced me to leap into action myself, leaving me with little time to make any revelations. I grabbed Angelica and performed what later I considered an extremely cool move. Just as the four horses of the apocalypse were about to make us so much tree fodder, I threw myself back into a backwards somersault, tucking myself around Angelica so that she rolled back with me, out of harm's way.
Cool it may have been, but my shoulders did NOT appreciate it. Neither did Angelica.
"What the hell was that about, you fag?!"
Damn, what does a girl have to do to get some gratitude around here?
"In case you didn't notice the fell beasts that nearly turned us into two very lovely PANCAKES back there, I was trying to save your worthless life!"
"How dare you." She stood up and flipped her hair, frowned at the result, and flipped it again. Sorry, hon, but long hair does not flip. "Just because some mistake has been made and you're suddenly pretty doesn't mean you can go all Trinity on me."
"You moron. Don't you have the slightest idea where we are?!"
"Stop calling me a moron!" Moron, that's the first time I called you one. "I'm going to find a telephone."
"Good luck. We're-"
"Shut up! Stop talking. We are in the middle of the woods, my clothes have been stolen, and replaced with these rags, and I am stuck with the biggest outcast in the school, who has been trying to KILL me, AND I've broken at least three nails. I am going to find some civilidation, and I'm going to find it now!"
"Right, you're going to find civiliDation like you're going to get an Meducation in Psychology(actual quote from a prep at my school, "I'm here to get a meducation,"). Angelica, we are-"
"Shut up!"
"Stop telling me to shut up, you cloth-eared bint!"
While all this had been going on, a rather motley crew had burst out of the trees behind us. Angelica spotted them and fell(mercifully)silent. I felt all words escape me too.
Three very short people, two very tall people, all male. The little people had my attention. Curly hair, pointed ears, large bare feet covered in fur. Oh dear, I was right . . .
Naturally, the two taller men had Angelica's attention. One, which she disregarded immediately, had the decidely mangy appearance of someone who could use a good bath(or seven). However, the other . . .
"Oh. My. God. He's HOT!" she hissed in my ear, making me wince. I HATE it when people do that. They have no appreciation of sensitive hearing.
Lessee. Long blond hair, regal appearance, and glamour. Yup. He's one pretty guy.
He's also an elf.
"By all the powers that be(yes, I do talk like this). We are in Middle Earth."
Author's note - I am torn between following the book and following the movie, which is why . . . well, you'll see.
It was a darkness like nothing else. I don't mind the dark, but this was . . . otherworldly. It swallowed the screams. We were falling.
I hate falling.
I don't even like jumping out of trees.
I hate the feeling you get when you're lying down, almost asleep, and then you feel yourself falling forward, and you jump awake. This was exactly like that, except there was nowhere to jump . . .
Screams turned to sobs, and the jump came. One moment I was falling, the next, I was leaping upwards from a bed of leaves. I shook my head, trying to clear it, to prove myself back in school, with a bad headache from knocking my head against the wall, but the dream didn't end. I raised a hand to my face, and started. That was not my hand.
My hands were large, with square palms and just-so fingers. I'd recognize them anywhere. Not here. These were long, slender, white, with fingers that were not just-so. They were perfect. The trend was continuing up my arm. Where was the hair?! The dark hairs that were a definite feature? Where are the freckles, the fat?! Don't get me wrong, I'm not a behemoth, but I'm not what you'd call slim, and this was definitely slim.
I sat up, and reached round for my bag. No dice, or rather, no bag. Panic was beginning to set in. No bag, wrong body, wrong clothes! I own maybe, what, one dress? I certainly don't wear it to school, and it is certainly not this dress. This was . . . nice. It was brown and blue and it fit. I took quick notice of the knife hanging from a belt . . . a very nice belt, and its presence gave me an odd comfort. Hey, as long as I can maim something, probably myself, I'm happy.
I looked at my hand again. The nail polish was gone. Damn. It was pretty. It was also what got me into this mess. Speaking of mess . . .
"What the hell is going on?!" Yes, my prom princess had followed me to this . . . place. She looked fantastic. Her typically short, ironed-flat-and-crispy blond hair was now long, full, and shiny - healthy shiny, not I've-got-so-much-gel-in-my-hair-it's-driving-my-neck-into-my-chest-through-sheer-weight-shiny. And her face - it was Mary-Sue gorgeous, without makeup. Big blue eyes, full lips, pale as a cloud with a faint blush . . . wait a minute. Mary-Sue?
"Oh my God," I whispered. There was a lake nearby(quite convienently, ah, the joys of authoring). I stared into a reflection that was not mine. A delicate face with a pointed chin and actual defined cheekbones looked up at me, not round, like it should have been. Gone were the dark circles and any sign of acne or freckles. Even the scar next to my eye, where I had once cut a small piece of skin out with a pair of scissors was gone. My dark hair was even longer than usual, all the way to my waist, lush and full, and for the first time in history, free of tangles and split-ends.
In the name of wonder, I was a Mary-Sue.
Except for one thing . . . my eyes. They were my own. They're nice enough on their own, big, long dark lashes, but they are not Sue eyes. Sue eyes are true blue, or emerald green, or jet black, or deep, soulful brown. Mine were still their bizzare hazel. Ring of bittersweet, ring of faceted green with blue-green crescents, ring of faceted gold, ring of solid dark pine green. Somethings are too strong even for magic to change, I suppose, whatever foul magic had made me what I am.
"I saaaiiiiiiiiiidd, what the hell is going on?!" I looked back at Angelica, and found myself unconciously gripping my knife. She was too pretty, and my instincts were taking hold. 'Destroy the beauty,' a voice whispered in my mind, 'don't let it live.' Another one, deeper and more horrible hissed, 'No. Destroy yourself. See what you have become. Ruin it.' I shook my head again.
"It would appear, o loud and annoying one, that we have been transported into another dimension."
"What the hell does that mean, and why the hell do you look like that?!"
"Well, I can see what the word of the hour is," I muttered, and then, louder, "It means, sweetheart, that we are no longer in our school, nor likely on our world."
"Shut up!"
"I look like I do because of an odd but binding clause that says that no girl can be transported into another world without first becoming the epitome of human perfection." Even my glasses were gone, but my sight was crystal clear.
"Shut up and speak English, you geek!" She was freaking out. If her mind couldn't twist its way around this problem, it could break.
"It's magic, okay?! Magic! Magic that makes you gorgeous! Take a look!" I gestured at the pool. She rushed over, and nearly tumbled into the pool when she saw her new Sue look.
"That's not possible. There's no such thing as magic!"
I ignored her. Time to find out where the bleedin' hell we were. Damn. She's rubbing off on me.
I took a step forward, and two things happened at once. Angelica, in supremely-pissed-off-bitch mode, tackled me from behind, and as I dove forward to roll her off, a horse leapt over me. Shaking the screaming brat off of me(admittedly adding a scream of my own), I stood up and watched the white horse fly like the devil himself was making chase. Two riders clung gamely to its back, a young woman with long dark hair, and a child of indeterminate gender at that speed. It looked oddly familiar, a sensation driven deeper by the four black horses that leapt from the trees. However, said riders forced me to leap into action myself, leaving me with little time to make any revelations. I grabbed Angelica and performed what later I considered an extremely cool move. Just as the four horses of the apocalypse were about to make us so much tree fodder, I threw myself back into a backwards somersault, tucking myself around Angelica so that she rolled back with me, out of harm's way.
Cool it may have been, but my shoulders did NOT appreciate it. Neither did Angelica.
"What the hell was that about, you fag?!"
Damn, what does a girl have to do to get some gratitude around here?
"In case you didn't notice the fell beasts that nearly turned us into two very lovely PANCAKES back there, I was trying to save your worthless life!"
"How dare you." She stood up and flipped her hair, frowned at the result, and flipped it again. Sorry, hon, but long hair does not flip. "Just because some mistake has been made and you're suddenly pretty doesn't mean you can go all Trinity on me."
"You moron. Don't you have the slightest idea where we are?!"
"Stop calling me a moron!" Moron, that's the first time I called you one. "I'm going to find a telephone."
"Good luck. We're-"
"Shut up! Stop talking. We are in the middle of the woods, my clothes have been stolen, and replaced with these rags, and I am stuck with the biggest outcast in the school, who has been trying to KILL me, AND I've broken at least three nails. I am going to find some civilidation, and I'm going to find it now!"
"Right, you're going to find civiliDation like you're going to get an Meducation in Psychology(actual quote from a prep at my school, "I'm here to get a meducation,"). Angelica, we are-"
"Shut up!"
"Stop telling me to shut up, you cloth-eared bint!"
While all this had been going on, a rather motley crew had burst out of the trees behind us. Angelica spotted them and fell(mercifully)silent. I felt all words escape me too.
Three very short people, two very tall people, all male. The little people had my attention. Curly hair, pointed ears, large bare feet covered in fur. Oh dear, I was right . . .
Naturally, the two taller men had Angelica's attention. One, which she disregarded immediately, had the decidely mangy appearance of someone who could use a good bath(or seven). However, the other . . .
"Oh. My. God. He's HOT!" she hissed in my ear, making me wince. I HATE it when people do that. They have no appreciation of sensitive hearing.
Lessee. Long blond hair, regal appearance, and glamour. Yup. He's one pretty guy.
He's also an elf.
"By all the powers that be(yes, I do talk like this). We are in Middle Earth."