CHAPTER 6: MANY MEETINGS (BETWEEN BOUNTY HUNTERS)

Jodo Kast opened up his eyes and was nearly blinded by the brilliant sunshine. "Haarrlll...hurrggl...heeeenn...." He sat up suddenly. "Where am I?"

"You're in Cradossk's Guild, Jodo Kast," IG-88 told him.

"Where have you been?" Kast demanded angrily.

"I was delayed," the assassin droid said vaguely.

"Mr. Jodo!" Greedo shouted happily, running into the room. He pulled the human out of the bed and drug him out the door, where he was greeted by 4-LOM and Boussh. "I was afraid you wouldn't make it," Greedo said lovingly, and held Kast's hand.

Kast wanted to puke.

Meanwhile, IG-88 had gone to meet with Cradossk. "I fear that there is little hope of keeping the One DVD from the Flanneled One," the droid said. "This may mean the end of all bounty hunters everywhere."

They looked out the window, seeing the new arrivals to the Guild. First was Cradossk's son, Bossk, looking arrogant as usual. A few moments later, they spied the Punishing One on the landing pad. Dengar stepped out of it, putting a hand up to toss his beautiful golden locks--then he remembered he didn't have any. He frowned in annoyance when he didn't hear fangirls sighing.

Zuckuss and his short-statured Gand tribe were last to arrive. Not him, Cradossk thought in dismay. The last time he had one of his fits, he thought he was Darth Vader and ran around hitting people with a stick and trying to Force-choke them.

Cradossk nodded grimly, getting back to the conversation. "If more bounty hunters would start working together, all this could be prevented. But our people are scattered, divided."

"There is one who could unite us," IG-88 suggested, "if only by sheer power and influence."

"They wouldn't follow him," Cradossk said in disgust. "Too many of them are complete idiots. Especially that Greedo character...."

"We could try it," IG-88 insisted.

The Trandoshan sighed. "I'll have a talk with him."

Meanwhile, Cradossk's only surviving child, the bounty hunter Bossk, wandered through the "museum," searching for something of interest. Finally he found it, when he spied a bandaged man sitting in the corner. "You're no bounty hunter," he said disdainfully. "At least not one I've seen before."

"All mercenaries are welcome here," Madak said simply.

Bossk snarled and turned away, continuing to wander. "The Shards of Westar 34!" he exclaimed in surprise. He hurried over to the broken pieces, holding one of them in his hands. "These are the blaster pistols that...." He paused. "I don't think they did much of anything. They certainly didn't do any good for their owner, now did they?"

Madak glared at him silently.

"Ah, but they're only a broken heirloom!" Bossk said, throwing down the pieces, which had been cut in half by a lightsaber. They clattered to the floor. "And one of a family far less grand than mine." He strode haughtily down the hallway.

Madak stood up and rearranged the exhibit. Idiot, he thought in annoyance.

Suddenly, an arrow from a bowcaster came whizzing through the air, and he had to dive to the ground to avoid it. He looked up to see that the arrow had lodged itself in the wall. There was a note wrapped around it.

Meet me on the bridge in ten minutes. You'll be glad you did. I have a proposal for you, one you'll have a hard time refusing.

Madak narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Nevertheless, he changed into his armor and hurried to the bridge, holding his blaster rifle at the ready. A figure shrouded in a heavy black robe stepped towards him, and he waited. The figure removed the robe....

"Not you!" he exclaimed in dismay.

"Oh, Bo," the hideously ugly dancing girl sighed, "I've been searching all over the galaxy for you. When I heard that you were here, I just had to come."

"You shouldn't have," Madak said in annoyance.

"Oh, I had to!" Rystall ran towards him, her arms open, and he backed away. "What's wrong, Bo?"

"I told you to stay away from me," he said in a low voice.

"But why? Don't you love me?"

"No."

She fought back tears. "But Bo, I thought we were soul mates!"

"What gave you that idea?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Ever since..." she sobbed, "...you tapped me on the chin.... Why would you have tapped me on the chin if you didn't love me?"

Madak considered it carefully. In reality, he wasn't sure why he had done it. It had seemed like a good idea at the time. And besides, he had never really touched a woman before. It had been an interesting experience.

"It was the power of Special Edition," he told her. "The temptation was very strong, and I thought I could get away with being out of character just once."

Rystall threw herself onto him. "Oh, Bo, I love you!"

"I know what you're thinking, and I can respond to it in seven words." He gazed at her in annoyance. "Sex between those not married," said Madak, "is immoral."

"Bo, you can't really mean that!"

"Yes, I can."

"But we were in love!"

Madak considered shooting her on the spot, then remembered that unless she had a bounty on her head, it would be immoral. I could put a bounty on her, he thought desperately, and then collect it myself....

"Take off your helmet," Rystall begged.

"I remove my helmet for no one."

"Please? Pretty please?"

"No."

She leapt towards him and grabbed his head. "I'll pull it off of you then!"

"Get off me, you psycho! Get OFF!" He tried to pry her hands off his head, but to no avail. With a pop, the helmet came off. He held his arms in front of his face. "Damn you, woman, give it back!"

"Kiss me," Rystall said, holding the helmet out of his reach, "and maybe I'll consider it."

"I'm going to kill you very, very slowly."

"If you want to do that," she said in satisfaction, "you'll have to move your arms, and then I'll get to see your face."

He considered it for a moment, then moved his arms and lifted his blaster rifle, taking careful aim at her head.

"Oh, Bo, you have such pretty eyes!"

"Give me the helmet," he said steadily, "or I'll disintegrate you."

"Kiss me," she said, "or I'll tell everyone what you look like."

Madak lifted an eyebrow. "After Episode II, do you really think anyone's going to be surprised?"

"There are some differences," Rystall said slowly. "You're a lot prettier than your father."

"Thanks for the compliment," he said sarcastically. "Now give me the helmet."

Rystall dropped it suddenly, and it rolled off the edge of the bridge and dropped into the water. "Oops!"

Madak took one look at her and dove in after it. Ten minutes later, he walked back across the bridge, water dripping from his armor. He noted with annoyance that the combination of his breath and his wet hair was fogging up his visor. He aimed the blaster rifle at Rystall again. "Now," he said, trying to keep his anger under control, "you die."

"Oh, Bo," she said, "you don't want to do that."

"Why not?"

"Cradossk won't be very happy with you."

"Is that so."

"Yes. Especially since I'm an employee."

"Really. What exactly are you employed to do?"

Rystall gave him a big smile. "Distract you while Cradossk gives everyone a tour of the museum."

***

"Father," Bossk growled, "this is the stupidest thing you've ever done—"

"Nonsense," the old Trandoshan said. "If we don't know our pasts, we're doomed to repeat them. Everyone here should know the history of bounty hunting."

Dengar looked at a mural of a mean-looking mercenary. "Whoa, he's an ugly %$&*^!"

"Jaster Mereel," Cradossk said. "He was one of our order long before the Clone Wars." He pointed at a pedestal beside the mural. "I believe most of you have already seen the Shards of Westar. The favored weapons of Jango Fett, they were cut in half by the evil Mace Windu and have been housed at our museum ever since. I'm thinking about getting them reforged."

"It's always Fett this, Fett that," Bossk growled. "I'm sick of hearing about Fett!"

"Come Bossk," Cradossk said, "Boba's a fantastic young man, and he's like a son to me and a brother to you. After all, I practically raised him after his father was killed. You really should try to get along with him."

"Them two, get along!" Dengar snorted. "You've got a %$^%-good chance of that!"

"Quioto, quioto!"

"Yes, Boushh," 4-LOM said, "those are Jedi, just like me."

Zuckuss looked at them, his insectoid eyes whirling. "Zuckuss was a Jedi once, in his past life."

"Ah, the home movie gallery!" Cradossk said in delight. He began digging through the holofilms. "Here's a good one!"

A twelve-year-old Boba Fett was sitting on the edge of the bridge, shooting at fish with a harpoon gun, while a very small Bossk sat next to him, continuously trying to push him into the water. Fett was doing his best to ignore the Trandoshan.

Zuckuss cocked his head to one side, blinking rapidly. "Aw," he said in a woman's voice, "Zuckuss thinks they're so cute at that age."

Little Bossk reached out and grabbed Fett's curls, pulling violently. The tiny human bounty hunter couldn't stand it anymore. He pulled out a blaster pistol and shot Bossk. The Trandoshan ran off crying.

Dengar started laughing raucously. "Haha! He shot the ugly little *^&*@! Good job, Fett!"

Bossk muttered something angry under his breath.

"Oh," Cradossk cried in excitement, "here's the day Boba got his first suit of armor!"

Suddenly, the holofilm player burst into flames. The bounty hunters turned around to see a fully-adult and fully-angry Boba Fett melting it with his flamethrower. "Cradossk," he said steadily, "drop the holofilm, or I'll burn your arm off."

The Trandoshan did as he was told, and Fett melted the holofilm the moment it hit the floor. He then proceeded to circle the room, burning everything in sight. "But Boba," Cradossk exclaimed, "this is your history!"

Fett whirled around. "No, it's not." He looked at all the other bounty hunters. "My name is Jaster Mereel. I'm a former journeyman protector from Concord Dawn who was exiled after killing a corrupt associate. And if you tell anyone anything different, I'll kill you as well. Understood?"

All the bounty hunters nodded furiously.

"I'm glad to see we agree," Fett said, and went back to destroying the museum. He paused when he saw the Shards of Westar. Hm, those might prove useful. Better take them with me.

He turned around. "What are you all staring at? Don't we have a meeting to get to?"