"He's been dead for hours."
Sparrow looked at me.
"Rigor's come and gone." At his confused look, I added, "He's not stiff anymore."
He stared even harder.
I shrugged. "I've picked up a few things."
"Aye, but ye probably don't know the business end of a broom, do you?"
Rolling my eyes, I sighed, "Just be thankful he's not wearing a bunny suit."
"I'm going to ignore that, lass."
"Your loss. There's an interesting story behind it." I reached for one of the swords on the wall. The thing was heavier than it looked. "Was he supposed to be in here?"
Sparrow took the sword from me. "I've a feeling your life is a series of interesting stories, love. And, no. Brown was supposed to be working the ropes. The armory is usually off-limits, unless we're about to fight."
Looking around at all the swords, knives and other things I didn't recognize, it occurred to me that Ranger would have been right at home here. "So nobody would have any reason to be here?"
He shook his head.
"If the ship were co-ed, I'd figure maybe somebody was sneaking off to get some nookie –"
"You lost me after the word 'ship', love."
"I was saying that if there were women on board, I would guess that maybe they'd come here to fool around." And then it hit me. I looked down at Brown's body. Yeah, he was about my age and if he were cleaned up some, he'd be cute. "Any idea who his boyfriend was?"
"I try not to get involved." He looked pained. "Gibbs might know."
"I bet this was some kind of messed up love triangle." Lula would have had the exact soap opera reference. All I could think of was Will and Grace, but that didn't really apply. "If we can figure out who the third person is, I'll bet we'll have our killer."
"What a disaster," Sparrow groaned.
"Would you prefer it was over a game of cards or some – what was the other thing?"
"Tortuga whore."
"Yeah, that."
"No."
"Well, there you go."
He stared at me again.
"What?"
"I wouldn't ordinarily admit this, but I do believe you frighten me, love."
*****************************
By the time Sparrow dumped the body overboard with a couple of Hail Marys, somebody had tossed Brown's stuff. There was no doubt about it. Brown's trunk was overturned and his clothes were scattered all over the crew's quarters.
"You still think this is a lovers' quarrel," Sparrow asked me, righting the trunk and dumping the clothes back in.
"The killer could be trying to throw us off."
"Or there's something afoot that I need to be aware of."
"Like what?"
"Like a mutiny, Jack?" Anamaria came up behind us. "I've not heard anything, but ye never know."
"Stephanie thinks it's some sort of lovers' spat."
Anamaria looked at me and grinned. "So ye figured out about the buggerin' that goes on in the armory, did ye?"
"I've heard things about sailors," I shrugged.
Sparrow rolled his eyes. "She's full o' all kinds o' useful information."
"If it was a mutiny, wouldn't they just kill you instead of each other?"
Anamaria looked horrified and I wondered what I said until Sparrow opened his mouth.
"In my limited experience, I was made to walk the plank and marooned."
He looked so pissed off that I decided not to ask why. Instead, I stood there and tried to look innocent.
"Ana, take Miss Plum back to my cabin, will you? I need to talk to Gibbs."
It was going to be a long day.
************************
"Don't worry abou' Jack," Anamaria told me, as she walked me back to his cabin. "He's not mad at you. Likely he'll tell you the story himself when he's calmed down a bit."
"Which will be how many years?"
"Not that long." She punched me in the arm. "Wait until later. He's on night shift. While he's at the helm, you and I can do a little snoopin' around."
"Won't he get mad at you?"
"He doesn't want you wandering around by yer onesies, so you need me. And by then I'll have found yer clothes."
"Like I said, won't he get mad at you?"
"He's been mad at me before and look – I'm still alive." She snorted. "I can handle Jack."
"But would you want to?"
She punched me in the arm again. "Aye and so would you, considerin' the tomfoolery goin' on at the helm this morning. You could do much worse than Jack, girl."
I thought of my ex-husband and realized she was right. Sparrow was no Morelli, but for 1689, he was pretty damn good. "I'm engaged."
"Bah, marriage. Why would ye want to be tied to a home and screamin' little ones when ye could be havin' adventure? Isn't that why ye became a bounty hunter?"
"Sort of." Not really, but that was the reason I hadn't given it up. And didn't want to.
"There ye go. Now all we need to do is convince Jack to let me take you under my wing." She winked at me. "Ye'll love bein' a pirate."
"I would?"
"Aye. Besides, I think Jack would be disappointed if ye left."
"He would?"
"Haven't ye been payin' attention?"
"I've been a little distracted by the dead bodies."
She waved off my argument. "Bunch o' horny pirates buggerin' each other and one with a jealous temper. We'll find the culprit, Plum, believe me and we'll deal with 'im."
That's what I was afraid of.
*********************************
A/N – Wow! I can't believe all the feedback I'm getting. My favorites are the ones from people who tell me that this shouldn't work – but it does. Thanks. I'm glad I could pull this off for you. For those of you who told me you haven't read the Stephanie Plum books, I highly recommend them. And for those of you who wish I could write faster (but I can't because I have to work), I've written some other stuff you might like. Visit my FF.net profile and click the link. Happy reading.
Sparrow looked at me.
"Rigor's come and gone." At his confused look, I added, "He's not stiff anymore."
He stared even harder.
I shrugged. "I've picked up a few things."
"Aye, but ye probably don't know the business end of a broom, do you?"
Rolling my eyes, I sighed, "Just be thankful he's not wearing a bunny suit."
"I'm going to ignore that, lass."
"Your loss. There's an interesting story behind it." I reached for one of the swords on the wall. The thing was heavier than it looked. "Was he supposed to be in here?"
Sparrow took the sword from me. "I've a feeling your life is a series of interesting stories, love. And, no. Brown was supposed to be working the ropes. The armory is usually off-limits, unless we're about to fight."
Looking around at all the swords, knives and other things I didn't recognize, it occurred to me that Ranger would have been right at home here. "So nobody would have any reason to be here?"
He shook his head.
"If the ship were co-ed, I'd figure maybe somebody was sneaking off to get some nookie –"
"You lost me after the word 'ship', love."
"I was saying that if there were women on board, I would guess that maybe they'd come here to fool around." And then it hit me. I looked down at Brown's body. Yeah, he was about my age and if he were cleaned up some, he'd be cute. "Any idea who his boyfriend was?"
"I try not to get involved." He looked pained. "Gibbs might know."
"I bet this was some kind of messed up love triangle." Lula would have had the exact soap opera reference. All I could think of was Will and Grace, but that didn't really apply. "If we can figure out who the third person is, I'll bet we'll have our killer."
"What a disaster," Sparrow groaned.
"Would you prefer it was over a game of cards or some – what was the other thing?"
"Tortuga whore."
"Yeah, that."
"No."
"Well, there you go."
He stared at me again.
"What?"
"I wouldn't ordinarily admit this, but I do believe you frighten me, love."
*****************************
By the time Sparrow dumped the body overboard with a couple of Hail Marys, somebody had tossed Brown's stuff. There was no doubt about it. Brown's trunk was overturned and his clothes were scattered all over the crew's quarters.
"You still think this is a lovers' quarrel," Sparrow asked me, righting the trunk and dumping the clothes back in.
"The killer could be trying to throw us off."
"Or there's something afoot that I need to be aware of."
"Like what?"
"Like a mutiny, Jack?" Anamaria came up behind us. "I've not heard anything, but ye never know."
"Stephanie thinks it's some sort of lovers' spat."
Anamaria looked at me and grinned. "So ye figured out about the buggerin' that goes on in the armory, did ye?"
"I've heard things about sailors," I shrugged.
Sparrow rolled his eyes. "She's full o' all kinds o' useful information."
"If it was a mutiny, wouldn't they just kill you instead of each other?"
Anamaria looked horrified and I wondered what I said until Sparrow opened his mouth.
"In my limited experience, I was made to walk the plank and marooned."
He looked so pissed off that I decided not to ask why. Instead, I stood there and tried to look innocent.
"Ana, take Miss Plum back to my cabin, will you? I need to talk to Gibbs."
It was going to be a long day.
************************
"Don't worry abou' Jack," Anamaria told me, as she walked me back to his cabin. "He's not mad at you. Likely he'll tell you the story himself when he's calmed down a bit."
"Which will be how many years?"
"Not that long." She punched me in the arm. "Wait until later. He's on night shift. While he's at the helm, you and I can do a little snoopin' around."
"Won't he get mad at you?"
"He doesn't want you wandering around by yer onesies, so you need me. And by then I'll have found yer clothes."
"Like I said, won't he get mad at you?"
"He's been mad at me before and look – I'm still alive." She snorted. "I can handle Jack."
"But would you want to?"
She punched me in the arm again. "Aye and so would you, considerin' the tomfoolery goin' on at the helm this morning. You could do much worse than Jack, girl."
I thought of my ex-husband and realized she was right. Sparrow was no Morelli, but for 1689, he was pretty damn good. "I'm engaged."
"Bah, marriage. Why would ye want to be tied to a home and screamin' little ones when ye could be havin' adventure? Isn't that why ye became a bounty hunter?"
"Sort of." Not really, but that was the reason I hadn't given it up. And didn't want to.
"There ye go. Now all we need to do is convince Jack to let me take you under my wing." She winked at me. "Ye'll love bein' a pirate."
"I would?"
"Aye. Besides, I think Jack would be disappointed if ye left."
"He would?"
"Haven't ye been payin' attention?"
"I've been a little distracted by the dead bodies."
She waved off my argument. "Bunch o' horny pirates buggerin' each other and one with a jealous temper. We'll find the culprit, Plum, believe me and we'll deal with 'im."
That's what I was afraid of.
*********************************
A/N – Wow! I can't believe all the feedback I'm getting. My favorites are the ones from people who tell me that this shouldn't work – but it does. Thanks. I'm glad I could pull this off for you. For those of you who told me you haven't read the Stephanie Plum books, I highly recommend them. And for those of you who wish I could write faster (but I can't because I have to work), I've written some other stuff you might like. Visit my FF.net profile and click the link. Happy reading.