CH 14
"This can't be happening." Beth mumbled to herself as she pushed Martin in his stroller. "I've worked too hard. I have done way too much to let it all go down the drain now!"
She looked around at all the happy couples holding hands as they walked passed her.
"Luis and I could be just as happy as them." A sickening feeling arose in her stomach, as she remembered Sheridan.
"Why couldn't she just stay in St Lisa's with Antonio? Luis would never know she was alive and I would have him to myself."
She turned the stroller into the park and pushed Martin towards a nearby bench.
She looked down at the toddler and sighed.
"This is not how it was suppose to happen. When I decided to steal Martin from Sheridan, Luis and I were supposed to raise him."
She bit her bottom lip in frustration.
"Luis hardly ever comes by the house anymore. And when he does, it's only to spend time with Martin. After that, he goes running off to that blonde bitch!"
Martin began to fidget in his stroller, letting out small whimpers.
"Martin, I can't let you out of your stroller. Your leg isn't that well yet."
The toddler ignored her and continued to restlessly move around, his cries growing louder.
Beth unfastened his buckle and sat him on her lap.
"Sheridan has always gotten everything that she has ever wanted." She gently brushed a strand of hair away from Martin's eyes. "Why can't I get what I want for once? All I've ever wanted was Luis. If he was with me, everything would be perfect."
Once again Martin began to fidget impatiently in her arms.
She looked into her bag and pulled out one of his toys, handing it to the whimpering child.
Martin took the truck for a moment but then threw it on the ground in a fit of anger, wailing even louder.
Frustrated, Beth placed him back into his stroller and fastened the belt, reaching for the toy.
Martin yelled at the top of his lungs as she forced the truck back into her bag.
"I don't have time for this ok Martin? I already told you, you cannot come out of your stroller!"
She already began to observe different pairs of eyes glancing in her direction.
Maybe he's just hungry. Beth thought to herself.
She reached into her bag for the bag of cookies that she had packed for him.
"Here Martin, do you want a cookie?" She handed the cookie to him, but he refused it with even louder wails than before.
At this point Beth started to notice people pointing and staring.
She crouched down beside the stroller, and tried to calm the screaming child down.
"Martin, please stop crying," she whispered. "I don't know what else to do! I've given you a toy, I've given you something to eat! What else do you want?"
Beth nervously looked around at all the pairs of eyes staring back at her.
"If I don't get Martin to be quiet, soon everyone will wonder why and it will only be a matter of time before they realize he's not really my son." She whispered to herself.
She frantically looked at Martin, and gently began rubbing his head.
"Shhh shhhh honey, please stoop crying." She pleaded.
But as Martin continued to scream, she slowly felt herself growing angrier.
"Martin, I said to be quiet." She said through clenched teeth.
When he did not obey, she slowly moved her hand from his head to his mouth and held a firm grip.
Martin's cries now sounded more like muffled shrieks, as Beth's grip grew tighter and tighter.
His cheeks started to turn the shade of blue, as Beth's hand absent- mindedly covered the toddler's nose.
As if in a trance, Beth continued to firmly hold her hand over Martin's mouth.
"Hey what are you doing?" A voice snapped her back into reality.
"What?" Beth confusingly asked the woman standing above her.
"You're baby's turning blue! What are trying to do kill him?" She shrieked staring down at Martin.
Beth looked at him and quickly tore her hand away from his mouth, as if she had just touched something hot.
"Oh my god what have I done?" Beth shook her head unable to believe her own actions.
The woman was about to speak again, but her husband pulled her to one side, urging her to mind her own business. After putting up a bit of a fight, she reluctantly followed him and walked away.
Beth let out a sigh of relief as Martin began crying once more, the colour returning to this cheeks.
She picked him up and soothingly rubbed his back.
"I'm so sorry Martin. I don't know what came over me." She whispered.
Beth continued to apologize over and over, continuing to rub his back until the toddler's cries quieted down to a soft whimper.
"This can't be happening." Beth mumbled to herself as she pushed Martin in his stroller. "I've worked too hard. I have done way too much to let it all go down the drain now!"
She looked around at all the happy couples holding hands as they walked passed her.
"Luis and I could be just as happy as them." A sickening feeling arose in her stomach, as she remembered Sheridan.
"Why couldn't she just stay in St Lisa's with Antonio? Luis would never know she was alive and I would have him to myself."
She turned the stroller into the park and pushed Martin towards a nearby bench.
She looked down at the toddler and sighed.
"This is not how it was suppose to happen. When I decided to steal Martin from Sheridan, Luis and I were supposed to raise him."
She bit her bottom lip in frustration.
"Luis hardly ever comes by the house anymore. And when he does, it's only to spend time with Martin. After that, he goes running off to that blonde bitch!"
Martin began to fidget in his stroller, letting out small whimpers.
"Martin, I can't let you out of your stroller. Your leg isn't that well yet."
The toddler ignored her and continued to restlessly move around, his cries growing louder.
Beth unfastened his buckle and sat him on her lap.
"Sheridan has always gotten everything that she has ever wanted." She gently brushed a strand of hair away from Martin's eyes. "Why can't I get what I want for once? All I've ever wanted was Luis. If he was with me, everything would be perfect."
Once again Martin began to fidget impatiently in her arms.
She looked into her bag and pulled out one of his toys, handing it to the whimpering child.
Martin took the truck for a moment but then threw it on the ground in a fit of anger, wailing even louder.
Frustrated, Beth placed him back into his stroller and fastened the belt, reaching for the toy.
Martin yelled at the top of his lungs as she forced the truck back into her bag.
"I don't have time for this ok Martin? I already told you, you cannot come out of your stroller!"
She already began to observe different pairs of eyes glancing in her direction.
Maybe he's just hungry. Beth thought to herself.
She reached into her bag for the bag of cookies that she had packed for him.
"Here Martin, do you want a cookie?" She handed the cookie to him, but he refused it with even louder wails than before.
At this point Beth started to notice people pointing and staring.
She crouched down beside the stroller, and tried to calm the screaming child down.
"Martin, please stop crying," she whispered. "I don't know what else to do! I've given you a toy, I've given you something to eat! What else do you want?"
Beth nervously looked around at all the pairs of eyes staring back at her.
"If I don't get Martin to be quiet, soon everyone will wonder why and it will only be a matter of time before they realize he's not really my son." She whispered to herself.
She frantically looked at Martin, and gently began rubbing his head.
"Shhh shhhh honey, please stoop crying." She pleaded.
But as Martin continued to scream, she slowly felt herself growing angrier.
"Martin, I said to be quiet." She said through clenched teeth.
When he did not obey, she slowly moved her hand from his head to his mouth and held a firm grip.
Martin's cries now sounded more like muffled shrieks, as Beth's grip grew tighter and tighter.
His cheeks started to turn the shade of blue, as Beth's hand absent- mindedly covered the toddler's nose.
As if in a trance, Beth continued to firmly hold her hand over Martin's mouth.
"Hey what are you doing?" A voice snapped her back into reality.
"What?" Beth confusingly asked the woman standing above her.
"You're baby's turning blue! What are trying to do kill him?" She shrieked staring down at Martin.
Beth looked at him and quickly tore her hand away from his mouth, as if she had just touched something hot.
"Oh my god what have I done?" Beth shook her head unable to believe her own actions.
The woman was about to speak again, but her husband pulled her to one side, urging her to mind her own business. After putting up a bit of a fight, she reluctantly followed him and walked away.
Beth let out a sigh of relief as Martin began crying once more, the colour returning to this cheeks.
She picked him up and soothingly rubbed his back.
"I'm so sorry Martin. I don't know what came over me." She whispered.
Beth continued to apologize over and over, continuing to rub his back until the toddler's cries quieted down to a soft whimper.