A/N: New chapter. No action here, just lots of internal thought. Kinda
slow, but necessary. If I get some reviews, I'll try to get another
chapter up next weekend, along with an update on These Days.
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Angel winced as his eyes opened. All the rooms in the former Wolfram and Hart office building had been outfitted with the special glass that allowed him to experience sunlight, and Cordelia's room was no exception. He rubbed his eyes with one hand, marveling for a second about waking up in the sunlight. The euphoria lasted a mere moment though, as he took in Cordelia. Bathed in the bright morning light, she seemed paler than she had last night. However, the light gave her a heavenly glow, Angel thought, and made her more beautiful, if possible. He ran his fingers lightly over her hand.
Angel turned and faced the door, thinking of the friends, no, family that lay beyond it. He was laying odds that every one of them was still there, waiting and hoping that Cordelia would again wake up. Angel lost himself in his thoughts for a moment, and didn't notice that Cordelia's hand had not only twitched at his touch, but had risen of it's own accord, and was now resting against the side of his face. His eyes widened as he glanced down at her face. He took in that she was awake with shock, staring into her eyes so fiercely that he seemed to be lost in them. The stare was over before it started, yet for the pair of them it was if it had lasted forever. Then lips were on lips, and all other rational thought was tabled.
Willow was sitting in her room, enjoying the view from her bay window. She'd always wanted one, and had come close with her French door'd balcony she'd had when she lived at home. Ordinarily, she'd be reading, but as she'd finished the latest Harry Potter book a few days ago; she had nothing new to read. Besides, they were all headed over to see Angel, and had plans to try to translate the book Buffy had found. That left this morning for sitting in her window and thinking. Thinking, mostly, about the almost kiss she and Xander had shared yesterday. If she hadn't said something.... Willow wrapped her arms around her thighs, and rested her chin on her knees. She knew Xander was hurting. So was she. Deep down, though, it wasn't the same kind of hurt. Xander'd lost the love of his life, just after he'd gotten her back. A sob struggled to break to the surface as Willow realized that the same thing had happened to her. She'd gotten Tara back, only to loose her again.
She sighed, rising. Even if he was feeling anywhere near what she'd been feeling over a year ago, she couldn't understand why he'd tried to kiss her. Obviously, she was still with Kennedy. At the thought of her girlfriend, Willow frowned. She walked over to a drawer, and pulled out a shirt, and then stalked to the closet for some jeans. Was she still with Kennedy? It was hard to tell, giving the fact that she hadn't actually talked to her girlfriend in nearly a week. Either way, it still didn't explain why Xander did what he did. She groaned, tugging on the ends of her hair. It was going to drive her crazy.
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Xander paced around his room. He'd discovered that if you paced exactly the same pattern and stared at the floor as you walked, you could get very dizzy. He readjusted his eye patch, scratching at the skin just under his bottom eyelashes. He'd only looked at his empty eyesocket once, just after it had happened. He hadn't the courage, or the stomach to look at it again. Maybe, with time, he'd be able to look at it, but the wound was too raw. Not just physically raw, but emotionally as well. He was still coming to terms with the fact that he'd be blind in one eye for the rest of his life. He was still somewhere in the middle of asking why this had happened. It wasn't just his eye, though that was a big part of what was bothering him these days. He was also full of regret.
Xander sighed, pulling on his shoes. He figured the gals would be ready to go in about a half-hour, and it paid to be ready before they were. He tied them quickly, fumbling a little with the laces. It was harder to tie with just one good eye, but his physical therapist had said he'd made tremendous progress in a short time. Of course, then she'd hightailed it out of Sunnydale like the rest of the smart people. He smirked, realizing that he sounded a tad bit like Anya. Only for a moment, though, and then the smirk was replaced with a look of sadness. Anya. God, he missed her. Yesterday, when he'd been pouring his heart out to Willow, he had no idea what possessed him to try to kiss her. His only excuse was that he'd been thinking about Anya, and had acted without realizing what he was doing. He only hoped that Willow would understand. She would, he thought, feeling confident. She was Willow.
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Buffy ran a brush through her hair. It was longer now, just about the length it had been before she'd gone all psycho and had it chopped. Spike would have liked it, she knew. She stared into the mirror, touching her hair and thinking of Spike. She missed him. Missed his sarcasm and his smirks, and God help her, even his leather duster. She smiled a little at that, picturing him in her mind. The smile faded as she stared at herself in the mirror. Buffy turned away after a moment, unable to look at herself any longer. She walked over to her bed, and picked up the book. The book with her scythe engraved on the front and Spike's amulet engraved on the back. It had to mean something.
Buffy ran her fingers lightly over the worn cover. It was obviously very old, and most likely as old as her scythe. Maybe it was a book about the Slayers. The ones who came before her. It could also be a book about the group that created her scythe. It hummed with the kind of energy as her favorite weapon, anyway. Buffy finished getting ready quickly, grabbed the book and started to leave her room. A sudden thought stopped her in the middle of the doorway. What if it revealed a way to bring Spike back?
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"I know, Kit. It was totally crazy." Dawn said, struggling to tie her shoe and not drop the cordless phone she had cradled between her head and shoulder. "I have no idea who this guy was. He musta been some weird figment of my imagination." She went on, double knotting the shoelace.
"I don't know about weird figment, but judging by the tone of your voice, he's got definite fantasy potential." Kit teased, causing Dawn to blush.
"Well, maybe a little. He was very cute." Dawn admitted to her friend. Kit was the only one she'd been able to really talk to about her dream from a few nights before. She was lucky, Kit was one of her few friends from Sunnydale she was still in contact with, and she lived close by. In fact, Dawn had only called her friend to give her a heads up and let her know she was on her way over. They were heading to the mall to do some light shopping. Dawn knew that Buffy and the others would probably be going back to Angel's to see Cordelia and to start researching the mysterious book. Guilt washed over her, distracting her from whatever Kit was saying. Dawn almost told Kit that she was going to cancel their plans and stay to help Buffy. Almost. Rational thought kicked in, along with a replay of last night's conversation her sister. It wasn't like she was hurting in the help department. If Buffy and the others couldn't get it figured out, then no one could. Dawn said good-bye to Kit, promising to meet her in a few minutes. She thumped down the stairs to let Buffy know she was leaving.
Dawn skidded to a stop in the hall, stopping mere inches from Buffy. Her sister, she noticed, was staring the magical book intently.
"Buffy?" Dawn said, getting her sister's attention.
"Dawn!" Buffy exclaimed, clearly surprised to see her standing there. Buffy sounded a little squeaky, and if Dawn wasn't mistaken, she was also blushing.
"Thinking about Spike?" Dawn asked, gesturing to the book. How could Buffy be thinking about anything else? It was all she could think about.
"Yeah." Buffy answered, all traces of the blush gone. Dawn didn't even want to know why Buffy would have been blushing. She didn't want to be in therapy the rest of her natural life. Xander and Willow interrupted them. She hadn't really noticed it last night, but Dawn realized they were being pretty awkward with each other. Fervently, she hoped they hadn't had a fight. That was the last thing either of them needed at the moment.
"Well, I'm going." Dawns told them, heading for the front door. "I'll see you at work, Buffy." She continued, letting herself out. Buffy, Willow and Xander stared after her, before silently heading out the door themselves.
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Wesley wasn't awakened by the sunlight streaming in through the windows. Nor did Gunn's chainsaw snore, Fred's sleepy murmuring or Lorne humming a little tune awaken him. He was, however, rudely awakened when he turned over, and rolled off the lumpy couch he was sleeping on. He hit the floor with a loud thump, and groaned in pain. Opening his eyes, he blinked at the bright sunshine. Fred and Gunn were still asleep. Lorne was reading and apparently humming out loud.
"Lovely wake-up call there, Sweetcakes." Lorne said to him, looking over the top of his book.
"I've had better." Wes, replied, rubbing his neck. He glanced at the closed door to Cordelia's room. "Any change?" He asked.
"Nope. Angelcakes hasn't left her side all night." Lorne answered. Wesley opened his mouth to say something, but at that moment Fred sat straight up her chair and shrieked.
"Those are my tacos!" She exclaimed, before realizing where she was. Wes watched as she blushed and pulled her hair out of her face. He stared at her; transfixed with the way she pulled the hair away from her face. She looked so sweet and innocent in that moment. Wesley realized, suddenly, that he was attracted to Fred for the same reason he was attracted to Lilah. Fred was good. Plain and simple. Sunshine and flowers. Lilah was very, very bad. Her inner darkness had called to his. He, however, was harder to categorize. He was good. He believed in the inherent principles that all heroes followed. He was, however, bad as well. He had lied and betrayed his friends. It was hard to say what changes running Wolfram and Hart would do, but he desperately feared he would become darker. Even scarier was the thought that bright, sunshine-y Fred would loose her light. He didn't want her to become what he was. Wesley's thoughts were interrupted when Angel flung open the door to Cordelia's room.
Gunn was not thrilled when the sound of a door slamming woke him up from the best sleep he'd had in about a week. Between trying cases for the firm, thanks to his hyped lawyer skills, and working late hours with Angel to get rid of the supremely evil, he was beat. If it had been anyone but Cordy, he'd probably still be upstairs, pouring over paperwork. He rubbed his eyes sleepily, and opened them to take in a disheveled Angel.
"Did you sleep at all?" Gunn managed his voice husky. Angel gave him a look before speaking.
"She's awake." Angel dropped the bomb.
Gunn felt his jaw drop open. In his time with Angel, with everything he'd seen and heard up to that point, he had not expected to wake up to this news after last night. It was one thing to have Cordy wake up once, but slip away again. To have her wake a second time meant something, right? He hoped so. He wasn't sure if his vampire boss would be able to handle that twice in a row. The scene from the night before with Buffy's friend Xander replayed through Gunn's mind. He'd better get a doc down to see Cordy pronto.
"I'll go get her doc." He said, leaving the room with one last glance behind him.
Fred stared at Gunn's retreating back, unsure what to say in the silence he'd left behind. Her stomach growled, a result of a disheartening dream about someone stealing her tacos, and Fred blushed. Embarrassed, she twirled a strand of her hair around a finger. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Wesley looking at her and stopped.
"What are you guys waiting for? " An impatient female voice sounded from down the hallway. That was all Fred needed to spur her in to motion. She set off down the hall with Angel and Wesley on her heels. Fred entered Cordy's room slowly, but that passed as she took in the sight of her best friend awake and alert. She bounded over to the bed, and flung her arms around Cordelia. The other weren't far behind, Fred noticed, and they each hugged Cordelia tight. It felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Everything would be okay.
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Angel winced as his eyes opened. All the rooms in the former Wolfram and Hart office building had been outfitted with the special glass that allowed him to experience sunlight, and Cordelia's room was no exception. He rubbed his eyes with one hand, marveling for a second about waking up in the sunlight. The euphoria lasted a mere moment though, as he took in Cordelia. Bathed in the bright morning light, she seemed paler than she had last night. However, the light gave her a heavenly glow, Angel thought, and made her more beautiful, if possible. He ran his fingers lightly over her hand.
Angel turned and faced the door, thinking of the friends, no, family that lay beyond it. He was laying odds that every one of them was still there, waiting and hoping that Cordelia would again wake up. Angel lost himself in his thoughts for a moment, and didn't notice that Cordelia's hand had not only twitched at his touch, but had risen of it's own accord, and was now resting against the side of his face. His eyes widened as he glanced down at her face. He took in that she was awake with shock, staring into her eyes so fiercely that he seemed to be lost in them. The stare was over before it started, yet for the pair of them it was if it had lasted forever. Then lips were on lips, and all other rational thought was tabled.
Willow was sitting in her room, enjoying the view from her bay window. She'd always wanted one, and had come close with her French door'd balcony she'd had when she lived at home. Ordinarily, she'd be reading, but as she'd finished the latest Harry Potter book a few days ago; she had nothing new to read. Besides, they were all headed over to see Angel, and had plans to try to translate the book Buffy had found. That left this morning for sitting in her window and thinking. Thinking, mostly, about the almost kiss she and Xander had shared yesterday. If she hadn't said something.... Willow wrapped her arms around her thighs, and rested her chin on her knees. She knew Xander was hurting. So was she. Deep down, though, it wasn't the same kind of hurt. Xander'd lost the love of his life, just after he'd gotten her back. A sob struggled to break to the surface as Willow realized that the same thing had happened to her. She'd gotten Tara back, only to loose her again.
She sighed, rising. Even if he was feeling anywhere near what she'd been feeling over a year ago, she couldn't understand why he'd tried to kiss her. Obviously, she was still with Kennedy. At the thought of her girlfriend, Willow frowned. She walked over to a drawer, and pulled out a shirt, and then stalked to the closet for some jeans. Was she still with Kennedy? It was hard to tell, giving the fact that she hadn't actually talked to her girlfriend in nearly a week. Either way, it still didn't explain why Xander did what he did. She groaned, tugging on the ends of her hair. It was going to drive her crazy.
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Xander paced around his room. He'd discovered that if you paced exactly the same pattern and stared at the floor as you walked, you could get very dizzy. He readjusted his eye patch, scratching at the skin just under his bottom eyelashes. He'd only looked at his empty eyesocket once, just after it had happened. He hadn't the courage, or the stomach to look at it again. Maybe, with time, he'd be able to look at it, but the wound was too raw. Not just physically raw, but emotionally as well. He was still coming to terms with the fact that he'd be blind in one eye for the rest of his life. He was still somewhere in the middle of asking why this had happened. It wasn't just his eye, though that was a big part of what was bothering him these days. He was also full of regret.
Xander sighed, pulling on his shoes. He figured the gals would be ready to go in about a half-hour, and it paid to be ready before they were. He tied them quickly, fumbling a little with the laces. It was harder to tie with just one good eye, but his physical therapist had said he'd made tremendous progress in a short time. Of course, then she'd hightailed it out of Sunnydale like the rest of the smart people. He smirked, realizing that he sounded a tad bit like Anya. Only for a moment, though, and then the smirk was replaced with a look of sadness. Anya. God, he missed her. Yesterday, when he'd been pouring his heart out to Willow, he had no idea what possessed him to try to kiss her. His only excuse was that he'd been thinking about Anya, and had acted without realizing what he was doing. He only hoped that Willow would understand. She would, he thought, feeling confident. She was Willow.
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Buffy ran a brush through her hair. It was longer now, just about the length it had been before she'd gone all psycho and had it chopped. Spike would have liked it, she knew. She stared into the mirror, touching her hair and thinking of Spike. She missed him. Missed his sarcasm and his smirks, and God help her, even his leather duster. She smiled a little at that, picturing him in her mind. The smile faded as she stared at herself in the mirror. Buffy turned away after a moment, unable to look at herself any longer. She walked over to her bed, and picked up the book. The book with her scythe engraved on the front and Spike's amulet engraved on the back. It had to mean something.
Buffy ran her fingers lightly over the worn cover. It was obviously very old, and most likely as old as her scythe. Maybe it was a book about the Slayers. The ones who came before her. It could also be a book about the group that created her scythe. It hummed with the kind of energy as her favorite weapon, anyway. Buffy finished getting ready quickly, grabbed the book and started to leave her room. A sudden thought stopped her in the middle of the doorway. What if it revealed a way to bring Spike back?
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"I know, Kit. It was totally crazy." Dawn said, struggling to tie her shoe and not drop the cordless phone she had cradled between her head and shoulder. "I have no idea who this guy was. He musta been some weird figment of my imagination." She went on, double knotting the shoelace.
"I don't know about weird figment, but judging by the tone of your voice, he's got definite fantasy potential." Kit teased, causing Dawn to blush.
"Well, maybe a little. He was very cute." Dawn admitted to her friend. Kit was the only one she'd been able to really talk to about her dream from a few nights before. She was lucky, Kit was one of her few friends from Sunnydale she was still in contact with, and she lived close by. In fact, Dawn had only called her friend to give her a heads up and let her know she was on her way over. They were heading to the mall to do some light shopping. Dawn knew that Buffy and the others would probably be going back to Angel's to see Cordelia and to start researching the mysterious book. Guilt washed over her, distracting her from whatever Kit was saying. Dawn almost told Kit that she was going to cancel their plans and stay to help Buffy. Almost. Rational thought kicked in, along with a replay of last night's conversation her sister. It wasn't like she was hurting in the help department. If Buffy and the others couldn't get it figured out, then no one could. Dawn said good-bye to Kit, promising to meet her in a few minutes. She thumped down the stairs to let Buffy know she was leaving.
Dawn skidded to a stop in the hall, stopping mere inches from Buffy. Her sister, she noticed, was staring the magical book intently.
"Buffy?" Dawn said, getting her sister's attention.
"Dawn!" Buffy exclaimed, clearly surprised to see her standing there. Buffy sounded a little squeaky, and if Dawn wasn't mistaken, she was also blushing.
"Thinking about Spike?" Dawn asked, gesturing to the book. How could Buffy be thinking about anything else? It was all she could think about.
"Yeah." Buffy answered, all traces of the blush gone. Dawn didn't even want to know why Buffy would have been blushing. She didn't want to be in therapy the rest of her natural life. Xander and Willow interrupted them. She hadn't really noticed it last night, but Dawn realized they were being pretty awkward with each other. Fervently, she hoped they hadn't had a fight. That was the last thing either of them needed at the moment.
"Well, I'm going." Dawns told them, heading for the front door. "I'll see you at work, Buffy." She continued, letting herself out. Buffy, Willow and Xander stared after her, before silently heading out the door themselves.
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Wesley wasn't awakened by the sunlight streaming in through the windows. Nor did Gunn's chainsaw snore, Fred's sleepy murmuring or Lorne humming a little tune awaken him. He was, however, rudely awakened when he turned over, and rolled off the lumpy couch he was sleeping on. He hit the floor with a loud thump, and groaned in pain. Opening his eyes, he blinked at the bright sunshine. Fred and Gunn were still asleep. Lorne was reading and apparently humming out loud.
"Lovely wake-up call there, Sweetcakes." Lorne said to him, looking over the top of his book.
"I've had better." Wes, replied, rubbing his neck. He glanced at the closed door to Cordelia's room. "Any change?" He asked.
"Nope. Angelcakes hasn't left her side all night." Lorne answered. Wesley opened his mouth to say something, but at that moment Fred sat straight up her chair and shrieked.
"Those are my tacos!" She exclaimed, before realizing where she was. Wes watched as she blushed and pulled her hair out of her face. He stared at her; transfixed with the way she pulled the hair away from her face. She looked so sweet and innocent in that moment. Wesley realized, suddenly, that he was attracted to Fred for the same reason he was attracted to Lilah. Fred was good. Plain and simple. Sunshine and flowers. Lilah was very, very bad. Her inner darkness had called to his. He, however, was harder to categorize. He was good. He believed in the inherent principles that all heroes followed. He was, however, bad as well. He had lied and betrayed his friends. It was hard to say what changes running Wolfram and Hart would do, but he desperately feared he would become darker. Even scarier was the thought that bright, sunshine-y Fred would loose her light. He didn't want her to become what he was. Wesley's thoughts were interrupted when Angel flung open the door to Cordelia's room.
Gunn was not thrilled when the sound of a door slamming woke him up from the best sleep he'd had in about a week. Between trying cases for the firm, thanks to his hyped lawyer skills, and working late hours with Angel to get rid of the supremely evil, he was beat. If it had been anyone but Cordy, he'd probably still be upstairs, pouring over paperwork. He rubbed his eyes sleepily, and opened them to take in a disheveled Angel.
"Did you sleep at all?" Gunn managed his voice husky. Angel gave him a look before speaking.
"She's awake." Angel dropped the bomb.
Gunn felt his jaw drop open. In his time with Angel, with everything he'd seen and heard up to that point, he had not expected to wake up to this news after last night. It was one thing to have Cordy wake up once, but slip away again. To have her wake a second time meant something, right? He hoped so. He wasn't sure if his vampire boss would be able to handle that twice in a row. The scene from the night before with Buffy's friend Xander replayed through Gunn's mind. He'd better get a doc down to see Cordy pronto.
"I'll go get her doc." He said, leaving the room with one last glance behind him.
Fred stared at Gunn's retreating back, unsure what to say in the silence he'd left behind. Her stomach growled, a result of a disheartening dream about someone stealing her tacos, and Fred blushed. Embarrassed, she twirled a strand of her hair around a finger. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Wesley looking at her and stopped.
"What are you guys waiting for? " An impatient female voice sounded from down the hallway. That was all Fred needed to spur her in to motion. She set off down the hall with Angel and Wesley on her heels. Fred entered Cordy's room slowly, but that passed as she took in the sight of her best friend awake and alert. She bounded over to the bed, and flung her arms around Cordelia. The other weren't far behind, Fred noticed, and they each hugged Cordelia tight. It felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Everything would be okay.