Five Months Later- The Slayer's Thoughts

So much has happened these past few months. Revelations and epiphanies, new relationships... Where to start? Well, a year and a half since the band candy incident, Mom and Giles finally got together- officially that is. At first, it was majorly weird, but they're happy. Plus I always thought of Giles as my father, type guy anyway, so I guess it makes sense.

Then there's Willow and her new, uh girlfriend Tara. At first I was relieved (cause it took all of the attention away from me and she was happy again). Everyone's okay with it. But it got pretty strained when Oz came back...

He found a way to cure himself- to keep the wolf inside. But when he found out, it was like he had no control over it. He was soon captured by those commando guys. That's when we found out the truth about them. The commando guys are actually Riley, Ms. Walsh and the Initiative- some secret government agency.

At that point, Riley and I had become somewhat close (not in a hot and heavy sort of way, but a serious, more than friendly friendship). I told him about the pregnancy and surprise, surprise, he didn't run away. But the whole Initiative thing kinda threw me. Oz being captured... Riley turned out to be way prejudice, border lining the lines of being a bigot. He helped Oz get out but ever since, his little "demon's are bad" speech, things have been pretty strained between us. Especially the whole part about me being the Slayer ( six months pregnant and I can still kick his ass with my eyes closed. So not good for the male ego). I decided on not telling him the truth about Spike and our child.

My "ass kicking days" are over temporarily. It would have been stupid for me to continue to patrol and risk hurting the baby. Besides, with the Initiative crew out and about, it's easier for the Scooby gang to help maintain the peace in the cemeteries.

But aside from all of the craziness, this has been the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me. To have this little person growing inside of me and to feel it moving inside of me... I don't know if it's a boy or a girl, yet. The baby was turned around so the doctors couldn't see. But I don't care, as long as it's healthy, and possibly not all "Grrr. Argh" coming out of the womb. Wouldn't do to scare the doctors. But I hope it has his eyes. He had the most beautiful eyes...

Six months since he left, and I often wonder if he's okay. Then I think "of course, cause he has the gem" but it's like I need to see for myself; I need to prove to me with my own eyes that he's okay. I know I sound crazy, but my hormones are all outta wack. Plus Giles seems to think that we accidentally bonded or mated or whatever. I wonder if he feels the same way about me...

I'm really sensitive and sometimes cry for no reason, or over stupid ones like when I accidentally broke one of my mom's plates. It' not like it was even the good china. My first few months into pregnancy, I was totally insane. I was tempted to go out and find him. But luckily, the gang was there to talk some sense into me.

Then sometimes, I think it's best that he doesn't come back. After all, it can only complicate things further. He probably wouldn't believe me anyway. But even so, I miss him all the same. I hate the fact that he's not here with me during all of this. But, chin up now. Gotta get in a happy mood. Willow and Xander planned me a surprise baby shower, and I have to act all surprised. Wouldn't want to disappoint.

2 days earlier...

So, B. You take away everything that's mine and just leave me hangin? Well, thanks to this nice little device, I'm finally gonna get some of my own back. Well, some of yours anyway...