Epilogue
I walked up to the podium at St. Matthew's Church; shuffled my papers and cleared my throat, as I got ready to read my speech.
"Jesse was a good friend. He didn't make the wisest decisions, but he was still good in his own way. You see Jesse and I became friends in kindergarten. Jesse liked to eat paste, and I just happened to have a large supply of past." I laughed. I looked around the church for a familiar face. I came across Sean, and I smiled at him. He mouthed, "You can do it."
I nodded.
"After that, we hit it off. We'd hang out with each other near the swings during recess," I started to laugh as I remembered another one of our memories, "Sometimes we would even go in the same restroom. We had some good times. We were inseparable; that is, until I met Manny.
Everyone's head turned towards Manny as she slumped down in her seat.
"We hit it off too. She was one of my only girl friends that I'd had and I liked it. For some reason, she was jealous. She told me that I had to choose between her and Jesse; I chose Manny. Now, I don't want you getting mad at her, or making her feel bad because it wasn't her fault. I made the decision; it was my choice."
It felt myself starting to cry, but tried my hardest to keep it in.
"Everyday I regretted making that decision. I should have just stayed with both of them; we should have worked something out."
I looked to my left and saw Jesse's parents crying. I tried so hard to keep my tears in, but couldn't.
"When he held us at gun point, my world went crashing down. I thought 'this is it. This is what I get for not being there.' I thought that it was my entire fault, but it wasn't. He made the choice. We can't always be there for someone 24/7and make sure they do the right thing. Jesse was a good guy; he was a straight A student; and to me, he was everything."
I looked over at the closed casket and continued on, "Jesse, I'm sorry you had to go through what you went through; and if I could change anything, it would be to have been there for you when you really needed me. I'll miss you Jess."
I wiped away a tear that was rolling down my cheek as I stepped down from the podium and sat down next to Sean.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
After Spinner's death, nothing was the same. Craig was always moody; Marco didn't talk to anyone; and Paige never came to school. Ashley would try and talk to her, but she wouldn't listen. Even I tried calling her, but she wouldn't answer the phone. Eventually she seemed to get better. She would show up to school; she would even show up for practice for the spirit squad. We thought she was doing all right. We never suspected what would happen next.
She had hung herself in the bathroom. Ashley found her. Ashley had come over to her house to ask her if she could study that night for a quiz, and Paige's mother sent her upstairs to go get her. She didn't find her in her room, so when she saw that the bathroom door was closed she knocked. When she knocked, the door opened and she saw Paige hanging from the ceiling fan.
J.T. took the news the hardest. Everyone knew that he was secretly in love with her; even Spinner knew. We've tried as hard as we could to make him feel better; nothing worked. He's seeing a counselor for depression, and he's doing really well.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I walked out the door and felt the cool breeze blow against my face. I put my hands in the pockets of my jacket, went down the steps, and walk to my car.
As I got out of my car, and walked in the cemetery, I finally noticed how calm it was. I've been coming every year for the past 10 years, but still hadn't noticed the silence. I finally made my way to Jesse's grave, and knelt down to the tombstone.
"Hey Jesse. How's life?"
I traced my fingers along the outline of the lettering on the tombstone. It read:
Jesse Andrew Hanson.
October 24, 1988- January 16, 2004
The day's reality around the bend.
Pain and misery my only friend
I raise a toast and I salute the end.
Six feet in the ground is where the living begins.*
"Jess, I just wanted to say, thank you. You saved me. Tell Spinner and Paige I said hey and that I miss them."
I felt a hand on my shoulder, but when I turned around no one was there.
Jesse? Is that you?
I got up and walked back to my car. Once the radio was turned on, I couldn't help but notice the lyrics of the song that was playing.
He was always such a nice boy
The quiet one
With good intentions
He was down for his brother
Respectful to his mother
A good boy
But good don't get attention
One kid with a promise
The brightest kid in school
He's not a fool
Reading books about science and smart stuff
It's not enough, no
Cause smart don't make you cool, whoa
He's not invisible anymore
With his Father's 9 and a broken fuse
Since he walked through that classroom door
He's all over primetime news
Mary's got the same size hands
As Marilyn Monroe
She put her fingers in the imprints
At Manns Chinese Theater Show
She coulda been a movie star
Never got the chance to go that far
Her life was stole
Now we'll never know
No no no no oh
They were crying to the camera
Said he never fitted in
He wasn't welcomed
He showed up the parties
We was hanging in
Some guys puttin' him down
Bullying him round round
Now I Wish I woulda talked to him
Gave him the time of day
Not turn away
If I woulda been the one to maybe go this far
He might have stayed at home
Playing angry chords on his guitar
He's not invisible anymore
With his baggy pants and his legs in chains
Since he walked through that classroom door
Everybody knows his name
Mary's got the same size hands (Oh)
As Marilyn Monroe
She put her fingers in the imprints (Ooh)
At Manns Chinese Theater Show
She coulda been a movie star (She coulda been a movie star, oh)
Never got the chance to go that far
Her life was stole
Now we'll never know
(Now we'll never know, oh)
Greg was always getting net from 20 feet away (20 feet away)
He had a try out with the Sixers
Couldn't wait for Saturday (Saturday)
Now we're never gonna see him slam
Flying high as Kobe can
His life was stole (Stole)
Oh now we'll never know
Now we'll never never never know
Mmm now we'll never never never never know
Stole (Stole)
Oh whoa yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Mary's got the same size hands (Same size hands)
As Marilyn Monroe (Oh)
She put her fingers in the imprints
At Manns Chinese Theater Show (She was gonna be a star)
She coulda been a movie star (Oh no)
Never got the chance to go that far (Never got the chance)
Her life was stole (Stole, stole)
Oh now we'll never know
(Now we'll never never know, no)
Greg was always getting net from 20 feet away (He had game, oh)
He had a try out with the Sixers
Couldn't wait for Saturday
Now we're never gonna see him slam (Never see him)
Flying high as Kobe can
His life was stole (Stole, oh)
Oh now we'll never know
(Now we'll never never know)
Oh no no no
Yeah their lives were stole
We were here all together yesterday**
A/N. Thanks for reading this story. I had a good time writing it. I'm really going to miss this story; and I hope maybe it taught some of you something. If you see someone getting hurt, do whatever you can to help them. Who knows, maybe one day they'll be the ones helping you out.
*Holdin On by Saliva
** Stole by Kelly Rowland
I walked up to the podium at St. Matthew's Church; shuffled my papers and cleared my throat, as I got ready to read my speech.
"Jesse was a good friend. He didn't make the wisest decisions, but he was still good in his own way. You see Jesse and I became friends in kindergarten. Jesse liked to eat paste, and I just happened to have a large supply of past." I laughed. I looked around the church for a familiar face. I came across Sean, and I smiled at him. He mouthed, "You can do it."
I nodded.
"After that, we hit it off. We'd hang out with each other near the swings during recess," I started to laugh as I remembered another one of our memories, "Sometimes we would even go in the same restroom. We had some good times. We were inseparable; that is, until I met Manny.
Everyone's head turned towards Manny as she slumped down in her seat.
"We hit it off too. She was one of my only girl friends that I'd had and I liked it. For some reason, she was jealous. She told me that I had to choose between her and Jesse; I chose Manny. Now, I don't want you getting mad at her, or making her feel bad because it wasn't her fault. I made the decision; it was my choice."
It felt myself starting to cry, but tried my hardest to keep it in.
"Everyday I regretted making that decision. I should have just stayed with both of them; we should have worked something out."
I looked to my left and saw Jesse's parents crying. I tried so hard to keep my tears in, but couldn't.
"When he held us at gun point, my world went crashing down. I thought 'this is it. This is what I get for not being there.' I thought that it was my entire fault, but it wasn't. He made the choice. We can't always be there for someone 24/7and make sure they do the right thing. Jesse was a good guy; he was a straight A student; and to me, he was everything."
I looked over at the closed casket and continued on, "Jesse, I'm sorry you had to go through what you went through; and if I could change anything, it would be to have been there for you when you really needed me. I'll miss you Jess."
I wiped away a tear that was rolling down my cheek as I stepped down from the podium and sat down next to Sean.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
After Spinner's death, nothing was the same. Craig was always moody; Marco didn't talk to anyone; and Paige never came to school. Ashley would try and talk to her, but she wouldn't listen. Even I tried calling her, but she wouldn't answer the phone. Eventually she seemed to get better. She would show up to school; she would even show up for practice for the spirit squad. We thought she was doing all right. We never suspected what would happen next.
She had hung herself in the bathroom. Ashley found her. Ashley had come over to her house to ask her if she could study that night for a quiz, and Paige's mother sent her upstairs to go get her. She didn't find her in her room, so when she saw that the bathroom door was closed she knocked. When she knocked, the door opened and she saw Paige hanging from the ceiling fan.
J.T. took the news the hardest. Everyone knew that he was secretly in love with her; even Spinner knew. We've tried as hard as we could to make him feel better; nothing worked. He's seeing a counselor for depression, and he's doing really well.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I walked out the door and felt the cool breeze blow against my face. I put my hands in the pockets of my jacket, went down the steps, and walk to my car.
As I got out of my car, and walked in the cemetery, I finally noticed how calm it was. I've been coming every year for the past 10 years, but still hadn't noticed the silence. I finally made my way to Jesse's grave, and knelt down to the tombstone.
"Hey Jesse. How's life?"
I traced my fingers along the outline of the lettering on the tombstone. It read:
Jesse Andrew Hanson.
October 24, 1988- January 16, 2004
The day's reality around the bend.
Pain and misery my only friend
I raise a toast and I salute the end.
Six feet in the ground is where the living begins.*
"Jess, I just wanted to say, thank you. You saved me. Tell Spinner and Paige I said hey and that I miss them."
I felt a hand on my shoulder, but when I turned around no one was there.
Jesse? Is that you?
I got up and walked back to my car. Once the radio was turned on, I couldn't help but notice the lyrics of the song that was playing.
He was always such a nice boy
The quiet one
With good intentions
He was down for his brother
Respectful to his mother
A good boy
But good don't get attention
One kid with a promise
The brightest kid in school
He's not a fool
Reading books about science and smart stuff
It's not enough, no
Cause smart don't make you cool, whoa
He's not invisible anymore
With his Father's 9 and a broken fuse
Since he walked through that classroom door
He's all over primetime news
Mary's got the same size hands
As Marilyn Monroe
She put her fingers in the imprints
At Manns Chinese Theater Show
She coulda been a movie star
Never got the chance to go that far
Her life was stole
Now we'll never know
No no no no oh
They were crying to the camera
Said he never fitted in
He wasn't welcomed
He showed up the parties
We was hanging in
Some guys puttin' him down
Bullying him round round
Now I Wish I woulda talked to him
Gave him the time of day
Not turn away
If I woulda been the one to maybe go this far
He might have stayed at home
Playing angry chords on his guitar
He's not invisible anymore
With his baggy pants and his legs in chains
Since he walked through that classroom door
Everybody knows his name
Mary's got the same size hands (Oh)
As Marilyn Monroe
She put her fingers in the imprints (Ooh)
At Manns Chinese Theater Show
She coulda been a movie star (She coulda been a movie star, oh)
Never got the chance to go that far
Her life was stole
Now we'll never know
(Now we'll never know, oh)
Greg was always getting net from 20 feet away (20 feet away)
He had a try out with the Sixers
Couldn't wait for Saturday (Saturday)
Now we're never gonna see him slam
Flying high as Kobe can
His life was stole (Stole)
Oh now we'll never know
Now we'll never never never know
Mmm now we'll never never never never know
Stole (Stole)
Oh whoa yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Mary's got the same size hands (Same size hands)
As Marilyn Monroe (Oh)
She put her fingers in the imprints
At Manns Chinese Theater Show (She was gonna be a star)
She coulda been a movie star (Oh no)
Never got the chance to go that far (Never got the chance)
Her life was stole (Stole, stole)
Oh now we'll never know
(Now we'll never never know, no)
Greg was always getting net from 20 feet away (He had game, oh)
He had a try out with the Sixers
Couldn't wait for Saturday
Now we're never gonna see him slam (Never see him)
Flying high as Kobe can
His life was stole (Stole, oh)
Oh now we'll never know
(Now we'll never never know)
Oh no no no
Yeah their lives were stole
We were here all together yesterday**
A/N. Thanks for reading this story. I had a good time writing it. I'm really going to miss this story; and I hope maybe it taught some of you something. If you see someone getting hurt, do whatever you can to help them. Who knows, maybe one day they'll be the ones helping you out.
*Holdin On by Saliva
** Stole by Kelly Rowland