Thoughts
A/N Hey! Got an idea 4 this chapter after listening to this song from Evanescence, called "Tourniquet". Tourniquet is a bandage that stops the flow of blood from an artery by applying pressure. Well, that's why this chapter is a song fic thingy, heh. Oh, and the song'll be in the *** stuff. So, here's the story and song that helped me write the story. Oh, and it starts b4 Ron tried to kill himself, in his POV..you know..uh..just read and see! THANKS 4 REVIEWING!!
~*~*~
Ron had just left his room to "get his wand", or so he made Harry think. Hermione in Bulgaria, it's hard for him to think about. There was pain in him, pain that he needed to get rid of. He ran to the kitchen and got a knife. 'where to go?' he thought. Then he saw the basement door, and ran for it. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he looked at the knife.
"This is it. The end of my pain," Ron said to himself, and closed his eyes, while putting the knife to his wrist. He let out a little scream, that only he could hear. Then he felt the blood flowing out his arm, but that was the last of what he felt, because he then fell to the ground.
***
I tried to kill the pain
but only brought more
I lay dying
And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved
Am I too lost?
***
Even though he was close to death and unable to open his eyes, Ron could think, and hear a tiny bit. A voice in Ron's mind wanted him to go back and stop himself from death, but another was reminding him that the pain would still be there if he didn't try to kill himself. But the first voice overruled, and he regret the pain of suffering the way he did.
***
My God, My Tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God, My Tourniquet
Return me to salvation
***
What would happen when his family and friends found him, dead? They would think it was like him to do such a thing, and that he had a good life to live. It wasn't true though. Without his love, his Hermione, he was nothing. He didn't need to breathe, see, or even live. He got himself lost, and he couldn't be found. Maybe the next day, they'll forget about him, and never remember who he was.
***
Do you remember me
Lost for so long
Will you be on the other side
or will you forget me
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved
Am I too lost?
***
The voice again. Telling him he made a big mistake, the biggest mistake a person can make.
'You'll regret everything as soon as you see,' it said.
'No he won't. He'll be the happiest in death,' another said.
'To get his love, killing himself won't help,' the first voice said.
***
My God, My Tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God, My Tourniquet
Return to me salvation
***
"But if doesn't do so, he'll have to suffer by watching his love, love someone else," the second voice said. Then they stopped. No answer from the first voice, none at all. It's true, then. He's better off dead than alive. The thought of it made him jump in happiness, but he switched to sadness. It wasn't exactly how he wanted to die, or how he thought he would.
***
(plays softly) Return to me salvation
(loudly as someone screams) I WANT TO DIE!
***
'Things change,' he thought. His friends changed, his family changed, even he changed. He still laid there, on the cold, hard floor, blood pouring from himself to the ground, while he was mixed in thoughts.
***
My wounds cry for the grave
My soul cries for deliverance
Will I be denied christ
Tourniquet
My suicide
***
Suddenly, there were footsteps of someone running down the stairs. It was either Harry, Hermione or his mum. He couldn't tell, since he was unable to open his eyes. He heard yells, silence, more footsteps, screams, and whispers. Who was saying what, he couldn't tell, but he felt his wrist being healed, and he was getting better. Slowly, he opened his eyes. Everything was a bit blurry, but hhe could tell that Harry and Hermione were kneeling next to him.
"Ron!" Hermione cried, while smiling and taking his hand. Harry was also smiling. Ron couldn't help but smile aswell. He tried to talk, but his voice hadn't recovered just yet.
"Here, let's get him upstairs," Harry said, and they both lifted him up, and carefully walked up the stairs. They took him to the couch, and put him down. Ron tried to speak yet again, and he was able to.
"How'd-how'd you find me?" he asked.
"Thinking very well," Harry smiled. "I actually saw your wand on your dresser."
"Oh.." Ron said in a low voice.
"Ron?" Hermione asked. "Why..what..did you try to-to kill yourself?"
"That's a thing that may be true. But I can't say," Ron said, looking at the ground.
"Please, Ron. Tell us!" Harry begged. Ron then looked up at his best friend, and the one he loved (A/N you know which is which, lol).
"Can't..just yet," Ron said. "Please, though, don't tell mum what happened just now." Harry and Hermione nodded. Just then, Mrs. Weasley came in the house, followed by Fred and George.
"Little Ronniekiens taking a break?" Fred teased.
"Need help picking up that book?" George also teased.
"Hardy har har. I was just sitting for a bit," Ron said, trying to get up, but Harry and Hermione pulled him down.
"The heat's getting to him," Hermione told Mrs. Weasley. She'd know what she ment by that.
"Oh! Well, take as long as you want to rest, Ron," she said, and left The twins went up to their room to pack.
"Yes, Ron. You better rest, and pack tomorrow," Hermione said, patting his hand.
"But when we get to France, you'd better tell us what happened. We need to know," Harry said, and both he and Hermione got up to finish packing. First, though, they locked the knife drawer, and took anything Ron might think of using. Even if they asked him if he was trying to kill himself, they knew he was. All they needed was full knowledge of it.
"Hermione, we need to watch him," Harry said to her as they climbed the stairs.
"Very closely, too," Hermione replied. "He better not try anything like that again, and suceed (sp?) at it. I'll be heart broken.." and she turned into Ginny's room. Harry shook his head, and kept climbing. The reason Ron was doing this was because he thought Hermione loved Viktor Krum, but that wasn't the truth at all. She loved Ron, and he loved her. All they need to do was tell each other, and everything'll be back to normal..or at least better. The problem was..it wasn't going to be that easy. Like the saying goes, "Old habits are hard to break".
~*~*~
A/N Headache, backache, neckache ..lol. I've been sitting on this chair writing and I never stood up. Well, hope you liked it! If you didn't understand the saying at the end, you will later on in the story. Plz review! I own nothing, btw! Only the plot! Not the characters, song, anything! Though, later I'll own some characters..
A/N Hey! Got an idea 4 this chapter after listening to this song from Evanescence, called "Tourniquet". Tourniquet is a bandage that stops the flow of blood from an artery by applying pressure. Well, that's why this chapter is a song fic thingy, heh. Oh, and the song'll be in the *** stuff. So, here's the story and song that helped me write the story. Oh, and it starts b4 Ron tried to kill himself, in his POV..you know..uh..just read and see! THANKS 4 REVIEWING!!
~*~*~
Ron had just left his room to "get his wand", or so he made Harry think. Hermione in Bulgaria, it's hard for him to think about. There was pain in him, pain that he needed to get rid of. He ran to the kitchen and got a knife. 'where to go?' he thought. Then he saw the basement door, and ran for it. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he looked at the knife.
"This is it. The end of my pain," Ron said to himself, and closed his eyes, while putting the knife to his wrist. He let out a little scream, that only he could hear. Then he felt the blood flowing out his arm, but that was the last of what he felt, because he then fell to the ground.
***
I tried to kill the pain
but only brought more
I lay dying
And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved
Am I too lost?
***
Even though he was close to death and unable to open his eyes, Ron could think, and hear a tiny bit. A voice in Ron's mind wanted him to go back and stop himself from death, but another was reminding him that the pain would still be there if he didn't try to kill himself. But the first voice overruled, and he regret the pain of suffering the way he did.
***
My God, My Tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God, My Tourniquet
Return me to salvation
***
What would happen when his family and friends found him, dead? They would think it was like him to do such a thing, and that he had a good life to live. It wasn't true though. Without his love, his Hermione, he was nothing. He didn't need to breathe, see, or even live. He got himself lost, and he couldn't be found. Maybe the next day, they'll forget about him, and never remember who he was.
***
Do you remember me
Lost for so long
Will you be on the other side
or will you forget me
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved
Am I too lost?
***
The voice again. Telling him he made a big mistake, the biggest mistake a person can make.
'You'll regret everything as soon as you see,' it said.
'No he won't. He'll be the happiest in death,' another said.
'To get his love, killing himself won't help,' the first voice said.
***
My God, My Tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God, My Tourniquet
Return to me salvation
***
"But if doesn't do so, he'll have to suffer by watching his love, love someone else," the second voice said. Then they stopped. No answer from the first voice, none at all. It's true, then. He's better off dead than alive. The thought of it made him jump in happiness, but he switched to sadness. It wasn't exactly how he wanted to die, or how he thought he would.
***
(plays softly) Return to me salvation
(loudly as someone screams) I WANT TO DIE!
***
'Things change,' he thought. His friends changed, his family changed, even he changed. He still laid there, on the cold, hard floor, blood pouring from himself to the ground, while he was mixed in thoughts.
***
My wounds cry for the grave
My soul cries for deliverance
Will I be denied christ
Tourniquet
My suicide
***
Suddenly, there were footsteps of someone running down the stairs. It was either Harry, Hermione or his mum. He couldn't tell, since he was unable to open his eyes. He heard yells, silence, more footsteps, screams, and whispers. Who was saying what, he couldn't tell, but he felt his wrist being healed, and he was getting better. Slowly, he opened his eyes. Everything was a bit blurry, but hhe could tell that Harry and Hermione were kneeling next to him.
"Ron!" Hermione cried, while smiling and taking his hand. Harry was also smiling. Ron couldn't help but smile aswell. He tried to talk, but his voice hadn't recovered just yet.
"Here, let's get him upstairs," Harry said, and they both lifted him up, and carefully walked up the stairs. They took him to the couch, and put him down. Ron tried to speak yet again, and he was able to.
"How'd-how'd you find me?" he asked.
"Thinking very well," Harry smiled. "I actually saw your wand on your dresser."
"Oh.." Ron said in a low voice.
"Ron?" Hermione asked. "Why..what..did you try to-to kill yourself?"
"That's a thing that may be true. But I can't say," Ron said, looking at the ground.
"Please, Ron. Tell us!" Harry begged. Ron then looked up at his best friend, and the one he loved (A/N you know which is which, lol).
"Can't..just yet," Ron said. "Please, though, don't tell mum what happened just now." Harry and Hermione nodded. Just then, Mrs. Weasley came in the house, followed by Fred and George.
"Little Ronniekiens taking a break?" Fred teased.
"Need help picking up that book?" George also teased.
"Hardy har har. I was just sitting for a bit," Ron said, trying to get up, but Harry and Hermione pulled him down.
"The heat's getting to him," Hermione told Mrs. Weasley. She'd know what she ment by that.
"Oh! Well, take as long as you want to rest, Ron," she said, and left The twins went up to their room to pack.
"Yes, Ron. You better rest, and pack tomorrow," Hermione said, patting his hand.
"But when we get to France, you'd better tell us what happened. We need to know," Harry said, and both he and Hermione got up to finish packing. First, though, they locked the knife drawer, and took anything Ron might think of using. Even if they asked him if he was trying to kill himself, they knew he was. All they needed was full knowledge of it.
"Hermione, we need to watch him," Harry said to her as they climbed the stairs.
"Very closely, too," Hermione replied. "He better not try anything like that again, and suceed (sp?) at it. I'll be heart broken.." and she turned into Ginny's room. Harry shook his head, and kept climbing. The reason Ron was doing this was because he thought Hermione loved Viktor Krum, but that wasn't the truth at all. She loved Ron, and he loved her. All they need to do was tell each other, and everything'll be back to normal..or at least better. The problem was..it wasn't going to be that easy. Like the saying goes, "Old habits are hard to break".
~*~*~
A/N Headache, backache, neckache ..lol. I've been sitting on this chair writing and I never stood up. Well, hope you liked it! If you didn't understand the saying at the end, you will later on in the story. Plz review! I own nothing, btw! Only the plot! Not the characters, song, anything! Though, later I'll own some characters..