Sirius didn't find another place to stay.
For the rest of the summer he seemed content and happy to be at the Potters. And he was, however, it was just the feeling of being rejected by his own family came to haunt him every now and then.
Most of the times he'd get those feelings at night when he was alone, with no one to distract him, however sometimes it would hit him when he was doing a simple task.
Such as, bringing out potato salad for a barbeque, seeing Mrs. Potter sort through photos for an album, seeing James telling his father a joke, he would just freeze up and just get a knot in his stomach.
It hurt him, a lot.
He tried to forget about his family, well not forget about them, but forget about the damage they'd done and how they'd rejected him.
He wanted to find someone who'd fully accept him and take him in.
The Potters let him in their home, but there were still inside jokes, nicknames, and traditions that he'd never be apart of or understand.
//Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain//
It came to ahead when Sirius was going through his trunk and he pulled out his family album that his mother had packed for him to take to Hogwarts. The same way she did every year. Sirius had never really bothered to look, just quickly leaf through.
But one day when he was alone in his room, he went through the album and started looking at all the pictures.
There was his mother laughing at his brother's antics.
There was him dancing with Bellatrix at an outdoor dinner when he was little.
There was Narcissa giving his father a kiss on the cheek under mistletoe.
So many happy memories...
'It's all a lie' Sirius though angrily, 'every last one of these is a lie, a sham put on for people.'
He turned the page, and that's what did him in.
It was a family portrait.
His mother was seated on a chair, his father standing behind her with his hand placed on her shoulder. His younger brother sat on his mother's lap, and then off to the side stood Sirius.
His father had a stern face and was eying Sirius disapprovingly; his mother gave fleeting glances of adoration towards Regulus then look at Sirius with a scowl of annoyance. His brother who was no more then four or five was grinning gleefully but with a menacing air about him. Sirius looked like he was asked to line up for a firing squad.
Underneath the photo was the date, and written The Most Noble and Ancient House of Black, then his mother wrote in light pencil, 'our happy family'.
Anger burned through Sirius, 'Happy family my arse!'
He ripped the photo in half.
But he didn't finish there.
He went through the entire album, shredding, saying Incendio numerous times, till glossy moving remains of photos surrounded him, and he started to silently cry.
'Some man I turned out to be, stop it!' he told himself.
But he couldn't. He'd been avoiding the stinging sensation in his eyes too long and it had to come out.
He didn't sob out loud. But his shoulder's shook with the tears that fell steadily.
All the hurt, anger, and anguish at his relationship with his family finally came out.
Sirius was grateful that the Potter's had gone into town and weren't around.
After a minute or two he composed himself, cleaned up the mess, and dumped the photos in the wastepaper basket.
He looked outside the window, the leaves were starting to change colour slowly. It would be autumn soon, and he'd have to go back to school.
'I wish that summer wouldn't end, I wonder how many people know about what happened, and I don't want any sympathy.' Sirius thought to himself, while brushing his hair out of his eyes.
//Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time//
For the rest of the summer he seemed content and happy to be at the Potters. And he was, however, it was just the feeling of being rejected by his own family came to haunt him every now and then.
Most of the times he'd get those feelings at night when he was alone, with no one to distract him, however sometimes it would hit him when he was doing a simple task.
Such as, bringing out potato salad for a barbeque, seeing Mrs. Potter sort through photos for an album, seeing James telling his father a joke, he would just freeze up and just get a knot in his stomach.
It hurt him, a lot.
He tried to forget about his family, well not forget about them, but forget about the damage they'd done and how they'd rejected him.
He wanted to find someone who'd fully accept him and take him in.
The Potters let him in their home, but there were still inside jokes, nicknames, and traditions that he'd never be apart of or understand.
//Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain//
It came to ahead when Sirius was going through his trunk and he pulled out his family album that his mother had packed for him to take to Hogwarts. The same way she did every year. Sirius had never really bothered to look, just quickly leaf through.
But one day when he was alone in his room, he went through the album and started looking at all the pictures.
There was his mother laughing at his brother's antics.
There was him dancing with Bellatrix at an outdoor dinner when he was little.
There was Narcissa giving his father a kiss on the cheek under mistletoe.
So many happy memories...
'It's all a lie' Sirius though angrily, 'every last one of these is a lie, a sham put on for people.'
He turned the page, and that's what did him in.
It was a family portrait.
His mother was seated on a chair, his father standing behind her with his hand placed on her shoulder. His younger brother sat on his mother's lap, and then off to the side stood Sirius.
His father had a stern face and was eying Sirius disapprovingly; his mother gave fleeting glances of adoration towards Regulus then look at Sirius with a scowl of annoyance. His brother who was no more then four or five was grinning gleefully but with a menacing air about him. Sirius looked like he was asked to line up for a firing squad.
Underneath the photo was the date, and written The Most Noble and Ancient House of Black, then his mother wrote in light pencil, 'our happy family'.
Anger burned through Sirius, 'Happy family my arse!'
He ripped the photo in half.
But he didn't finish there.
He went through the entire album, shredding, saying Incendio numerous times, till glossy moving remains of photos surrounded him, and he started to silently cry.
'Some man I turned out to be, stop it!' he told himself.
But he couldn't. He'd been avoiding the stinging sensation in his eyes too long and it had to come out.
He didn't sob out loud. But his shoulder's shook with the tears that fell steadily.
All the hurt, anger, and anguish at his relationship with his family finally came out.
Sirius was grateful that the Potter's had gone into town and weren't around.
After a minute or two he composed himself, cleaned up the mess, and dumped the photos in the wastepaper basket.
He looked outside the window, the leaves were starting to change colour slowly. It would be autumn soon, and he'd have to go back to school.
'I wish that summer wouldn't end, I wonder how many people know about what happened, and I don't want any sympathy.' Sirius thought to himself, while brushing his hair out of his eyes.
//Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time//