This is My Story

by danakate

Tidus x Rikku. Yuna x Auron. An alternate take on the story that is Final Fantasy X.

7. Scene 06 Yuna's First Sending

Summary: Tidus x Rikku. Yuna x Auron. An alternate take on the story that is Final Fantasy X.

Spoilers: Final Fantasy X

Disclaimer: Square Enix rocks my world. Hopefully, they won't find this or they will...do bad things to me. I'm only playing!

Author's Note:  More Yuron.  Rough, rough, rough around the edges.  That last part I posted?  That was the last of a little backlog of stuff I was ready to post.  So, I had to write a new part.  And goodness this was the part that wouldn't end.  I keep thinking there are contradictions in this part but, ah, well. 

This is the part where I pull explanations out of thin air.

The next part is where I…cast Hastega on Auron and Yuna's relationship. -_-;  Because I need certain things to happen before Luca…and certain things to happen in Luca.  And Luca is next.  Aie!

This part was actually supposed to have gone out several days ago but, uh, I made the mistake of buying Final Fantasy XI: Online and it has very nearly taken over my life.  (And makes me feel like I'm cheating on Final Fantasy X-2 because I still haven't finished it.)

Also, let me make this note even longer by saying…if you're confused about some allusions to Auron's relationship with Braska, it's because I haven't figured out a good way to bring it back into the fic.  I hate doing flashbacks and I'm going to have to soon because I…sort of forgot to redo the beginning of the game and I want to establish the relationships between Auron, Braska, and Jecht and more Young!Auron and ReallyYoung!Yuna interaction that carries over to his piece and…basically I'm screwed.  So, just to clarify, pre-game, I made it so Auron and Braska are paired just before and during Braska's Pilgrimage.  "Eww" if you like but I could not get those darn slash goggles off my eyes when I thought about them.  But…no Jecht in the mix.

*

This is My Story by danakate

First Posted: 2004-04-12

Scene 06 – Yuna's First Sending

Yuna stared through one of the portholes in her cabin. More and more pieces of driftwood of what used to be Kilika Port floated by. The feeling of dread in her stomach weighed heavier with each moment. They would reach the only dock remaining, soon. Then, she would need to fulfill her duties as a Summoner.

And Send the dead to the Farplane.

Yuna took a deep breath and held it for a moment before exhaling loudly. The anxiety stayed. She closed her eyes and tried not to think of the tight ball of panic threatening to unwind itself in her chest.

"I'm a Summoner, now," she thought. "This is the path I've chosen."

She'd known, when she started, she would eventually have the unhappy task of Sending the dead. But now, things were a little different. Now, she had Auron. And he was an Unsent. If she had to Send the recently perished Kilika people, how would that affect Auron?

In her mind, Yuna knew she had to talk to him. The direct approach, while difficult, had always been the easiest way with him. But part of her was afraid. Actually, all of her was afraid.

Despite Auron's promise to protect her at all costs, Yuna had a feeling if she risked Sending him when she Sent the Kilika people, he would not protest. He supported her role as a Summoner and that included every aspect, even the unpleasant ones. Yuna could almost imagine his response. He'd stand, stoic as ever, and brood for a moment. He would approach her and tell her seriously it was all right. And he would apologize for not being able to keep his promise to her.

"Ahh!"

Yuna slapped her hands over her mouth, eyes wide with surprise. And then she dropped her hands and mentally chided herself. There was no one else in the room, why was she embarrassed?

Sighing again, Yuna leaned against the hull and rested her forehead against the cool glass of the porthole, eyes unfocused. She needed to talk to him, but...how? Time was running out.

The decision, though, was ultimately taken away from her. A knock sounded on her door and a familiar voice called out.

"Yuna."

It wasn't a question.

Yuna's head snapped around, hair curving around her face for a moment. The light blue hair wrap she'd had since she moved to Besaid tapped on her right shoulder from the movement and her fingers automatically fingered the silky fringe, a nervous habit she picked up some time ago. She sucked in a quick breath and released it. That little ball of panic grew larger, she didn't know how much longer she could contain it.

"Yuna," Auron stated again.

Slowly, she stepped across the room and approached the closed cabin door. Yuna pressed her lips together, unsure what she would say when she actually saw Auron's face. Her hand on the doorknob, Yuna closed her eyes and steeled herself before yanking the door open.

"I don't want to Send you!" she blurted out with a fierce shake of her head.

And then she was mortified by her actions and her obvious loss of control. She stared at her boots, blushing furiously.

Auron's boots came into view and she could feel the cloth of his robe brush against the top of her head, he was standing so close.

But he didn't say anything. They just stood there in silence and Yuna blushed more, though she didn't know why.

She saw his hand move toward her, then, and she closed her eyes when his fingers touched her face and tugged her chin up. Yuna wouldn't look at him. But her eyes fluttered open when his thumb lightly caressed her cheek, surprising her with his gentleness. Their eyes met and she was completely lost in the warmth and understanding she saw within them.

"You won't," his deep voice rumbled.

*

Tidus was, again, staring out of his cabin window when Rikku burst into the room.

"Ohhhh, poopie!" she exclaimed. Tidus's eyebrow quirked.

"We just found out Sin attacked Kilika," Rikku gravely stated.

"That's...bad," Tidus replied, features turning into a frown.

"Yeah, but not how you think," Rikku said. "Yunie's fine, she got there after Sin attacked, but that's the bad part!"

"Um?"

"Because now she has to do the Sending!" Rikku yelled as if it was completely obvious.

Silence.

"Uh...what's a Sending?"

Rikku stared at Tidus with dumbfounded shock. "You...forgot that, too?"

"Um...sorry?" Tidus said sheepishly. This not-knowing-anything thing was starting to irritate him.

"No, no, it's ok," Rikku assured. "I'm just...anxious, that's all. Sorry for snapping at you."

"No problem," Tidus smiled.

"Anyway, the Sending..." Rikku plopped down on Tidus's bunk and scrunched up her face as she thought of the best way to explain it. "Basically, the dead...they need guidance. They're filled with grief over their deaths and they refuse to face their fate. They want to live on and resent those that are still living."

"Ok..." Tidus thought he was beginning to understand.

"Yeah, they're jealous of the living," Rikku continued. "And that jealousy...it turns into anger, sometimes even hate. And if the souls of those dead remain here in Spira, they turn into fiends and attack those still alive. The Sending takes those souls to the Farplane where they can rest in peace."

"Summoners do this?" Tidus asked, eyes wide.

"Yes," Rikku nodded. "And it's really creepy."

"It sounds...horrible," Tidus admitted.

"It is!" Rikku exclaimed. "And I don't want Yunie to have to do one...because it's dangerous!"

"Dangerous? How?" Tidus sat next to Rikku and tilted his head curiously.

"Well, see, in order for a Summoner to be able to Send properly, they've gotta open themselves up, in a way...reveal their souls, if you will. That way, the dead souls will know the Summoner is trying to help them," Rikku said.

"And when a Summoner does anything, it uses up some of their magic energy. So, I think, and there's no proof, yet, if a Summoner uses up too much magic and leaves their soul open..."

"The Summoner's soul might be stolen?" Tidus finished.

"Exactly!" Rikku practically bounced. "I mean, it's never happened, but that doesn't mean it can't happen and Yunie's a brand new Summoner so she doesn't have all that much magic energy to begin with and she's never had to do a Sending before and...and...I'm babbling, aren't I?"

Rikku bit her lip and ducked her head. Tidus smiled at her warmly and pulled her into a hug. She cuddled against him willingly, grateful for the comfort he provided.

"I know I'm just being paranoid but I can't help it, you know?" Rikku murmured.

"I'm sure it'll be okay, Rikku," Tidus assured, trying to be cheerful. "You said Yuna was pretty strong, she'll get through this!"

"But, Tidus, she shouldn't have to. That's the point," Rikku pleaded.

"I know," he replied, solemnly. "But we can't do anything about it until we get to her."

Rikku nodded sadly and burrowed deeper into Tidus's arms.

*

"How can you be sure?" Yuna breathed, still staring up at Auron.

"This may take some time to explain," he replied after a long moment. "Shall we talk inside?"

Yuna nodded and stepped aside. She closed the door behind her and leaned against it, watching Auron's back as he surveyed her quarters.

"I'm not...entirely sure how the Sending works," Yuna started. "But...you still have your soul, it can still be Sent, right?"

"Being an Unsent changes the rules a little," Auron answered. "My will keeps me here, bound by the circumstances of my death. My soul, although still with me, is not in a...normal...form."

"I don't understand," Yuna said, pushing away from the door and moving closer to Auron. His voice was hypnotizing and pulled her to him as if drawn by some invisible line.

"I am not completely sure myself," Auron admitted. "But think of it as if my soul is now isolated from Spira."

"And that's why you think you won't be Sent?" Yuna asked, still confused and unconvinced.

Auron nodded.

She stared at him, hands clasped together.

"You still do not believe."

"I don't know what to believe," Yuna sighed. "And I'm afraid."

"Afraid?"

"I told you," she restated. "I don't want to Send you. And even though you say you won't be Sent...anything can happen, right?"

"I suppose..." Auron acceded.

"I've...never done a Sending before," Yuna murmured, voice soft. "But I know what I have to do."

"You must open your soul to Spira," Auron said.

She started and stared at Auron. "How...oh...right. My father."

He nodded.

"Yes, I must open my soul and feel those of the dead," Yuna continued. "How will I know that I won't feel yours, even if you say it is isolated, and Send you by accident?"

"I do not wish to be Sent, therefore I will not."

Yuna smiled softly at Auron, touched by the conviction in his voice.

"The souls of the recently deceased are confused and easily guided," Auron explained. "And while their deaths were violent and premature...there is little chance any of them will resist."

Yuna threw her hands in the air. "But I just don't know."

Auron grabbed her flailing hands and held them a moment while she collected herself.

"I'm sorry," Yuna whispered, staring at their hands. "I'm acting strange, I know, and feeling...out of sorts."

"It will pass," Auron assured. "As you said, you have never done a Sending before. The unknown is often frightening."

"I just...don't want to risk it," Yuna said. She looked up at him imploringly. "I...I don't..."

She stopped, unable to continue, unsure what she would have said next.

Auron watched her carefully, concerned at her worry. "Yuna," he prompted, "perhaps it would be beneficial if you practiced opening your soul and feeling another."

"What?"

He stepped closer and pressed her hands to his chest. "Try."

Before Yuna realized what she was doing, she was opening up to him. It felt...natural.

But there was nothing. She frowned.

"I can't..."

"Close your eyes," Auron murmured. "Feel with your spirit, not with your mind or senses."

Her eyes fluttered shut and she took a deep breath, attempting to center. Yuna knew she could do this, she'd had to as part of her training. But sensing living souls was much easier than dead ones. It was similar to feeling the souls of Aeons, yet...different.

Slowly, she let go of her other senses and focused only on what she could feel around her. But there was still nothing.

Long moments passed and Yuna was just about to give up when she thought she felt something...but it was gone in an instant. Her eyes popped open and she frowned again.

"I think...I think I saw it. I mean felt it," she corrected.

"Almost. Try again," Auron encouraged.

Closing her eyes again, Yuna let her spirit wander. It was like she was in a dream, floating through nothingness though she knew her feet were firmly on the floor. Then, she saw it...felt it. And it was distinctly Auron.

"Yuna," Auron called.

Slowly, Yuna opened her eyes and was surprised to find she was crying. Auron's soul, it was so beautiful, yet she could nearly touch the pain and anguish that surrounded it.

"I found you," she whispered, wiping at her eyes.

Auron nodded.

"But...now that I know you, won't that make it easier to find you when I'm Sending?" Yuna suddenly asked, her paranoia kicking in.

"What you feel from me and what you feel from the dead in Kilika will be much different," Auron tried. He marveled at Yuna's ability to persist on this particular subject. But, she was, after all, Braska's daughter, and he was one of the most stubborn people Auron had ever known.

"If it would make you feel better, I will not attend your Sending," Auron suggested. "You will only be able to feel those of the recently departed."

"Are you-"

"-sure?" Auron interrupted. "Positive."

"I...I...okay," she finally agreed. "I guess that's the best we can do."

A slight bump shuddered through the hull of the small ship and Yuna looked outside. They were docked. It was time.

"I should get ready," Yuna mused.

"They are waiting," Auron remarked. "We will wait for you outside."

"Auron," Yuna called before he reached the door. She waited for him to look at her. "Thank you...for sharing."

Auron nodded deeply and then was gone.

*

Up on deck, Auron positioned himself on a crate out of the way. He watched as anxious passengers rushed down the gang plank, eager for news of their loved ones. Slowly, his eyes roamed over the destruction Sin left behind.

Auron closed his eyes and shook his head. The situation must be getting more unmanageable if Sin caused this much senseless damage. He briefly wondered if they'd waited too long. But neither Tidus nor Yuna were ready, yet. He didn't know if they would even be ready by the end of the journey.

Of course, they had to actually find Tidus, first. He had been surprised when he found himself on one of Besaid's beaches with no sign of Tidus. Or Sin, for that matter. But, given it no longer seemed Sin could be controlled completely, Auron came to the conclusion their separation had not been planned.

It would have been easier, for sure, if they both had landed at Besaid. Then, he could have looked after Yuna and Tidus at the same time. Auron discovered, over the years, nothing was ever that easy.

Watching over Tidus the last 10 years had definitely been a challenge, but Auron had been there as he'd grown into a capable young man. No doubt he could find his way in this world. Auron liked to believe Tidus had a little more sense than his father.

Auron shook his head slightly and focused on his current situation.  Now, he was with Yuna and could continue to fulfill his promise to Braska.

Except he hadn't counted on the torrent of memories and emotions that came back to him when he saw Yuna teetering on the steps of Besaid's temple. Or the shock, when he realized she'd followed in Braska's footsteps and intended to follow the Summoner's Pilgrimage that would end in her death.

But Auron was not about to let that happen. Jecht had said he'd think of something. Auron hoped he was right. The fact he was back in Spira led him to believe maybe Jecht had created a plan. But whether or not he'd be able to communicate that plan before it was too late remained to be seen. Regardless, Auron knew he would not allow Yuna to die, no matter what.

There was also the little matter that he had seen her soul. And he wanted, more than ever, to protect it. Yuna's spirit was so blindingly pure he hadn't known what he was seeing when it appeared. But now he knew and it filled him with a nameless, intangible feeling he realized had been missing from the moment Braska died. Because Braska was the only other person Auron had ever shared his soul with.

And it frightened him.

Auron had found something he hadn't noticed was missing...and he didn't know if he could let it go when the Pilgrimage ended, especially if Yuna survived. He was, after all, an Unsent. Once his mission here was complete, he would no longer need to be part of this world…

"I'm ready."

Yuna's voice brought Auron's thoughts back to the moment and he glanced up to see her standing on deck with Lulu, Wakka, and Kimahri by her side. She turned to him, then, and smiled before heading down the gang plank to greet the villagers. Auron followed the rest of the group, hanging back a little.

"Greetings," Yuna said to the small group of people on the pier. "I am the Summoner Yuna. I have come from the temple in Besaid."

"Milady Summoner!" a woman cried.

"If there is no other Summoner here, please allow me to perform the Sending," Yuna offered. Part of her hoped another Summoner was already there and taking care of the situation. Deep down, Yuna knew that wasn't the case.

"Thank be, to ye," a man said.

"Our loved ones," the woman interjected. "We feared they would become fiends!"

"Please, take me to them," Yuna said, heart heavy. She resisted the urge to look at Auron before she left with the woman.

"Should we go with her?" Wakka wondered aloud.

"Give her time to prepare," Auron suggested. "We can see what help we may offer in town."

"You're probably right," Wakka agreed.

Auron set off, taking the opposite fork in the maze of piers than Yuna. Wakka and Kimahri followed him while Lulu continued with Yuna.

*

Orange rays from the setting sun bathed Kilika in a serene light. Yuna gazed across the calm waters and, for a moment, she could forget the tragic circumstances that led her to this task. She listened, silent, as one of the townsfolk recounted the horrible destruction Sin had inflicted upon them. Her heart went out to the people of Kilika.

Just below the surface of the sea, Yuna could make out the shapes of the dead. Wrapped in a ceremonial red cloth, the souls within waited.

"Will they be okay, Milady Summoner?" a woman asked.

"I will make sure they reach the Farplane," Yuna nodded.

Quickly, she scanned the crowd. Lulu gave her a small nod. Wakka and Kimahri were there as well. Yuna was relieved, yet not, that Auron had kept his word and was not visible. His presence did comfort her, but she dared not risk it.

For a long moment, Yuna stood at the water's edge, barefoot with staff in hand. She closed her eyes and centered herself, reciting the Sending ritual in her mind one last time. She opened her eyes and focused straight ahead, carefully and slowly opening her spirit to Spira.

She was ready.

Yuna stepped out onto the sea...and walked on the water's surface. The sensation of liquid under her toes was strange, but she ignored it. Briefly, she glanced down and saw the collection of wrapped, red forms.

"There are so many," Yuna thought. She cringed when she noted a group of very small bundles.

She shook her head and refocused on her task, taking a few more steps until she was in the center of the gathered deceased. The sun was just at the horizon, its light nearly blinding, but it gave Yuna something on which she could focus.

Yuna stretched her arms out to her sides and began to dance. Her staff swung in a wide arc and spun to a rhythm no one could feel.

Except Yuna.

Side to side and around she moved, always at the same pace. She called to the souls of those who had just died, encouraged them to let go of their grief and pass to the Farplane. In the back of her mind, Yuna realized Auron had been right...these souls were nothing like his.

As she danced, Yuna slowly opened herself further to Spira and the souls around her. She could sense the dead responding to her, and her magic energy surged, pulling her upwards on a pillar of water. She could hear the gasps of the spectators and cries of grief and joy as the survivors said their final goodbyes to their loved ones and could move on knowing they would not turn into fiends.

But Yuna ignored all of it and focused only on the souls she needed to guide. She could feel the anguish and the fear emanating from the dead souls before they passed to the Farplane. For a moment, she thought she might be overwhelmed and would fail, but was able to let those feelings pass through her.

Higher and higher the water pillar rose and still Yuna kept dancing...guiding...Sending. She felt oddly disconnected from everything, as if she was as one with Spira and able to feel everything around her, yet nothing at all.

Finally, Yuna's dance ended and as the last of the souls departed, she completed the Sending and the pillar descended. She slowly walked back to the pier, her step a little wobbly, and bowed to the village leader who waited.

Lulu came forward, then, and gave her a reassuring smile.

"I hope," Yuna said, "I hope I did okay."

"You did very well," Lulu replied with pride. "They've reached the Farplane by now. But...no tears next time, hmm?"

Yuna nodded, a small smile on her face. She quickly wiped at her eyes, hoping not all the villagers saw her. She had to be strong for them.

"You should rest for the night," Lulu suggested.

"Okay," Yuna agreed. She walked through the crowd of people and they offered her their thanks for Sending their loved ones. But she could only nod, the grief she'd felt still fresh in her mind.

*

On a landing of a hut on the far side of Kilika, Auron sat. He had witnessed Yuna's Sending from afar and now was glad he'd stayed away. Despite his assurances that he would not be affected by her Sending, Auron had no real proof that would be the case. And when Yuna's dance began, he found himself mesmerized by her spirit though it was far in the distance.

Auron closed his eyes a moment and wondered if it had been a good idea to share his soul with her. When Yuna was at the peak of her dance, he could feel her spirit searching for other lost souls and he'd been surprised when he found himself nearly answering the call.

He would have to be more careful lest he lose himself. Yuna's skills as a Summoner may not be as powerful as one with more experience, but their connection made him more susceptible to anything she did. Yet it also meant he would always know where she was and if she was in danger. Even now, though he could not see her, he could feel her.

Again, Auron looked to the skies and thought of Braska. But Auron hadn't known Braska when he was first starting out as a Summoner. By the time Braska's Pilgrimage began, he'd had several years behind him, several years to learn how to deal with the aftermath of the Sending. How would Yuna fare? There was only one way to find out.

*

Auron knew something was wrong the moment he approached Yuna's door. It was as if there was a barrier of sadness surrounding the place...and he wasn't the only one who could feel it.

"She's been...distant since the Sending," Lulu had said. "It makes me uneasy, but I do not know what I can do for her. She claims she's all right."

He'd received a similar response from Kimahri. "Kimarhi think Yuna is sad. Sending was difficult for little Yuna."

"Yuna, I am coming in," Auron called after his knocks went unanswered.

He found her kneeling on the floor with her head on the bed, but she wasn't sleeping. Auron knelt beside her and she still did not acknowledge his presence. She was staring at nothing, her blue and green eyes unfocused and far away. There were tears flowing from her eyes.

"Yuna," he called softly, touching her cheek with the backs of his fingers.

"Oh!" she started, sitting straight up and whipping her head around. "I...I'm sorry. I don't know..." Yuna faltered.

"You are exhausted, you should sleep," Auron suggested, helping her to her feet and gesturing to her bed.

"Yes, you're right," Yuna answered. She was looking at her feet again, wringing her hands together.

"Rest now," Auron said softly. "You have had a rough day. We will talk tomorrow."

He turned to leave...and was stopped by a tug on his robe.

"Please don't go," Yuna whispered. She'd grabbed hold of the back of his robe with both hands.

"Please stay," she pleaded. "Please...I...I..."

And suddenly she was in his arms and she was crying again and he was holding her tight and she never wanted him to let go.

"I can't stop crying," Yuna sobbed into his chest. "I could feel their grief and their sadness and I just can't let it go."

"It's all right," Auron comforted.

"No, it's not," Yuna practically wailed. "If I can't handle this, how will I ever complete the Pilgrimage? I'm...I'm just not strong enough."

"Nonsense," Auron objected. "You are doing a fine job as a Summoner. You must remember...this path is not easy. You will overcome these obstacles."

"Maybe," she sniffled. "But if I can't perform a Sending without breaking down..."

"You waited."

"What?" she asked, looking up at him.

Auron stared down at the confused and pained look on Yuna's face, at the furrow between her eyebrows. The role of a Summoner was to serve Spira and along with that, to comfort Spira. Yuna had taken on that role willingly and brought along Guardians to protect her. But who among them would step up to the task and provide comfort when the road became too difficult, the burdens too strong?

"You performed the Sending and then returned here before showing your grief," Auron pointed out. "You did not show the people how Sin's actions affected you. You were strong for them, Yuna."

"But I still feel the pain and the anguish those people felt," Yuna explained. "I...I don't know if I can continue, feeling like this."

"Then let me help," he offered.

"Wh- How?" Yuna managed.

"However you need," Auron answered. "I swore I would serve you. Whatever you need of me, I will gladly do."

"I don't know what to do..."

"Then we will figure it out. Talk to me," he said. "Tell me what you feel. Together, we will find a way."

"Just...hold me, for now..." she looked away, embarrassed.

"As you wish," Auron murmured. Gently, he gathered her in his arms and, as she requested, simply held her.

Yuna felt safe with Auron, a feeling she'd had since she first met him so many years before. She realized it had been a long time since she'd really felt safe. Even with the threat of Sin, Auron made her feel like everything would be all right. But even he couldn't quiet the uncertainty in her mind. It bothered her that the aftermath of the Sending had affected her so much. Did she really have any hope of defeating Sin if she was this weak?

She sniffed in amusement as a stray memory floated past.

"I remember something like this from before," Yuna whispered. She smiled softly at the recollection. "You held me the first time my father was injured during training."

Auron leaned back against the wall and cradled Yuna in his lap like he had when she was a child. "I remember, too."

"I guess I haven't grown up much," Yuna said, disappointed.

"What makes you think that?" Auron frowned.

"Here I am again, in need of your comfort," she whispered. "I'm so weak..."

"Yuna, you are not weak," Auron assured. He cupped his hand around her cheek, forcing her to look at him. "In order to be strong you must first understand your weaknesses and then overcome them or learn to work with them."

She nodded, eyes wide.

"No one can ever claim to have no weaknesses," Auron continued. "To do so implies you would never grow. And that would be foolish."

"Even..." she trailed.

"Me?"

She nodded.

"Yes," he admitted.

Yuna gaped.

Auron smirked.

"In the past, one of my weaknesses was in the form of your father. Until Jecht appeared, I was his sole Guardian," Auron explained. "Those first days of training were harrowing for both of us. And, to be truthful, that time I held you before was as much for me as it was for you."

"I remember you were always there for me...for us," Yuna recalled. "I never knew."

"Then I did my job well," Auron said. "I had to be strong for you, Yuna. And like you, now, I had to deal with my weaknesses in my own way, but away from you."

"What about now?" Yuna asked curiously.

"You," Auron replied simply. "And the memories of my Pilgrimage with your father."

"You...think it might happen again?" she asked.

"The possibility of a tragic ending is always present," Auron said gravely. "But as I told you before, I will do everything in my power to keep you safe."

Yuna ducked her head again, touched by the conviction and devotion in Auron's voice. But she was glad he'd shared his thoughts with her. It gave her hope that she could overcome her insecurities and continue on her journey without feeling as if she was faking it.

"How did you...how did you overcome your fears?" she asked, chancing a look at him.

"By thinking them through thoroughly," Auron replied. "And understanding that sometimes I could not do everything myself. In those cases...I talked with your father."

"And that helped?"

"A great deal," Auron admitted. "Yuna, if you want me to help you, you must not be afraid to talk to me about anything. Knowing your weaknesses...knowing what you fear...it will help me when you need my assistance. It will also help me be a better Guardian to you."

Yuna nodded and contemplated Auron's words. She knew he was right, it would just take time to sort through what she was feeling before she could really talk with him.  Or the others.

"What about Lulu and the others?" she voiced.

"You will have to decide what role your Guardians take," Auron said.  "You may prefer to confide in one of the others.  That is your choice."

She nodded again and drifted into silence, thinking.  While she had spent the last 10 years with Lulu, Wakka, and Kimahri, she still felt as though she was closest with Auron.  Perhaps it was their connection from long ago.  Whatever it was, she knew she had to try for him, else she would never succeed.

"Today, during the Sending, I felt as if I was on the edge between chaos and order," she started, voice low.

Auron stayed silent, not wanting to break her concentration, but he pulled her closer and she curled into him, laying her head on his shoulder.

"There were several moments when I thought I would lose myself," Yuna continued. "And...I didn't care."

Auron nodded slightly, understanding a little of what she was saying. Braska had voiced similar thoughts when Auron asked about the Sending.

"I was so connected to Spira, I could feel...I don't really know how to describe it...everything?" she pondered.

"But it was the dead that called to me," Yuna whispered. "It was like they were asking me to join them."

She paused and Auron watched as worry crossed her features.

"And I began to wonder, can a Summoner Send herself?"

Auron shifted and turned Yuna's face toward his once more, foreheads touching.

"Did you want to?" he asked.

Yuna closed her eyes and thought for a long moment. "I think...for a short moment...I did. Because it would have been so easy to let go."

Silence.

"And that's what scared me the most," Yuna finally said. "From the time I first thought of trying to become a Summoner, I never once entertained the idea of straying from the Path. My father taught me to finish what I started and keep my promises. That day, when the temple priests told me I may have the gift, I made a promise to Spira."

Auron closed his eyes, unconsciously moving closer, cheek next to hers. Yuna's words rang through him and it was as if he could see and feel everything she was saying.

"But now...I wonder...do I have it in me? Can I finish this Pilgrimage and not lose myself?" she asked. "What if the road becomes too difficult? What will keep me from succumbing to the spirits and leaving Spira with my task unfinished?"

"Your father held the same fears, Yuna," Auron murmured. He pulled back to look at her, his lips lightly grazing over her forehead. "You must find a reason. Saving Spira is a noble quest, but you must find something within, something close, to keep you on your path."

"What was his?" But she thought she knew the answer.

"To try and create a future free of grief and fear for you, primarily," Auron replied.

Yuna nodded and pressed her lips together in thought. Moments passed and Auron watched as her eyes began to droop.

"Sleep, now," he suggested.

She looked up at him once again and their eyes locked. "Stay with me, please?"

Auron nodded and he was filled with a powerful urge to do everything he possibly could to erase those worry lines from around Yuna's young face. Especially when she was smiling at him the way she was now.

Safe within his arms, Yuna burrowed closer to Auron and quickly drifted into sleep. A ghost of a smile remained on her lips and Auron traced the lines of her peaceful face with his eyes, memorizing every detail.

The interior of the hut soon became dark as full night descended upon Kilika. But Auron didn't sleep, preferring to stare at nothing in particular, senses open to anything that might become a threat. And to brood. He was...unsettled, and he couldn't understand why. Although he did have a suspicion it had to do with the young woman sleeping in his arms.

Why was he so drawn to her? Why did she evoke from him feelings that went far beyond wanting to protect her?

Auron sighed deeply and his attention returned to Yuna as she mumbled in her sleep. She frowned and moved, her hand raising slightly as if looking for something. Auron caught it and held it close; Yuna never woke, but calmed, a smile returning to her face. His frown remained, however, as a myriad of emotions swirled in his mind, a confusing feeling he hadn't felt in over 10 years.

*

TBC