Sorry I took so long to post again. Thanks for waiting. If more of you review then I'll put the next chapter out faster…

This place was never the same again after you came and went
how can you say you meant anything different
To anyone standing alone on the street
With a cigarette on the first night we met


Look to the past and remember her smile
And maybe tonight I can breathe for awhile
I'm not in the scene I think I'm falling asleep
But then all that it means is I'll always be dreaming of you

Feeling This – Blink 182

Marissa stumbled out of the bathroom and knocked on her sister's door. No one answered. She knocked again. Caitlyn appeared on the other side looking pissed.

"What?"

Marissa winced at her tone.

"Nothing. I just wanted to make sure you were up. Oh and dad's at work so he's not coming home for breakfast"

Caitlyn leaned against the doorway and stared at her suspiciously.

"Are you ok? You look like you've been crying"

"I'm fine Caitlyn"

Marissa turned to leave but pivoted around again.

"If anyone calls and it's for me then can you like not disturb me? I wanna sleep. Please?"

"What if someone's at the door?"

"Same"

She knew Caitlyn was mad at her and the truth was she knew why. They had already moved into her dad's apartment last week and Kaitlin had slammed the door and demanded that everyone leave her alone. Marissa and her dad had done as she asked but it wasn't as if they didn't care. Her sister wasn't dealing too well with everything. And it seemed as if her dad would rather just ignore it and hope that his daughters would grow up while his back was turned.

Marissa just walked away and headed to the shower. She emerged a few minutes later not feeling better at all. The smell of food almost sent Marissa to the bathroom again but she managed to hold it down and locked herself in her room. She heard the doorbell ring but ignored it. Hopefully Caitlyn would do as she asked. Looking at the mess that crowded her room she began work on making the room liveable.

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Ryan rang the doorbell and glanced around. The apartment wasn't too bad. He gazed in front of him at the door which seemed to have a hundred patterns running through the wood. He was so immersed in the door it took him by complete surprise when Marissa's sister opened the door and glared at him.

"What?"

"Uh hey. I was just-"

"Marissa's not here"

"I just talked to her on the phone"

Caitlyn sighed. Well that was stupid.

"Well she said she didn't want to be disturbed"

"Is she sick?"

"I don't know"

"Well can I talk to her then?"

"Yeah sure and if she gets all mad at you then say that the ghost who haunts this place let you in. Ok?"

She walked away leaving Ryan wondering what he had said or done to annoy her.

He walked in and closed the door behind him. The kitchen was a cluttered with things that hadn't been unpacked yet and the sink was full of dishes. Hearing a door slam Ryan looked up and was once again confused as to why Caitlyn was so angry. Glancing around Ryan made his way to where he's heard the door slam and looked around. He could hear music coming from a room and recognised music that Seth usually listened to. Knocking on the door he called out.

"Marissa?"

He knocked again wondering if she had heard him or not.

"Caitlyn I told you I didn't want to be disturbed and I meant – oh"

Ryan took her in. She seemed more relaxed than he'd ever seen her yet she looked tense. Probably wondering why he was here. He wasn't so sure himself.

"Hey"

"Um. Hi. Is everything ok?"

"Yeah everything's fine. I just wanted to make sure that you were ok. You sounded sick on the phone"

Nice Atwood. Real nice. Of course that's why he was here.

"I'm fine. Thanks for coming over though"

"Uh ok. Great."

Marissa just stood there smiling uncertainly at him.

"Do you want help with the maths homework?" He blurted out.

Marissa seemed surprised.

"Um. Yeah sure. I'll be right back"

She disappeared into her room and came back with her books.

"C'mon. My room isn't even considered a living space right now"

He followed her into the living room and took in his surroundings. Compared to the places in Chino this apartment could pass off for a castle. Once again he found himself thinking how Marissa was living with all this. He wished he could talk to her but things seemed so awkward between them that he didn't know how to start.

"So how is everything? Here I mean?"

Marissa looked up, startled that he asked her that question. Of all questions.

"Um not too bad. Caitlyn isn't loving it though. She like hasn't talked to me or my dad since we moved here"

She glanced around.

"I guess I'm not used to it. But it's ok"

Ryan nodded as they took a seat in the kitchen.

"So what don't you get?"

Marissa laughed.

"Like the whole second side of the revision sheet"

Ryan nodded again.

"I thought it was pretty bad too. It took a while for me to concentrate since Seth was practically blasting music in my ears the whole time"

Marissa smiled and rolled her eyes.

"I can imagine"

He watched as she chewed on her lip.

"Ok. So this is what I don't get. How is this supposed to end up as 6 when x doesn't even equal 12?"

Ryan was too busy staring at Marissa as she spoke and didn't even hear a word she said. He then realised she was waiting for him to say something.

"Um…say it again?"

Marissa gave him a curious look and then she mentally slapped herself.

"Did you want a drink?"

Ryan looked up as she waited expectantly.

"Uh sure. Anything's fine"

Marissa nodded and poured two glasses of coke and brought them back to where they were working.

"Thanks"

"So explain this problem to me"

Ryan grinned.

"Yeah sure"

He bent down to get a closer look at the paper and caught a whiff of Marissa's shampoo. The smell went straight down to his stomach and turned the butterflies in there into massive flapping eagles.

Why had he decided to do this again?

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"Summer stop crying. You're gonna make yourself throw up. Summer come on"

Seth tried to rub Summer's back as she soaked his t shirt again. She couldn't control her sobs. And it didn't help that Seth was being really sweet about it. She didn't even know why she was crying this much anyway. But she had kept this inside her for so long that she didn't even know how to stop it coming out. Summer moved away from him and Seth looked at her with genuine worry in his eyes.

"Just take me to Coop's"

Seth kept looking at her, worried.

"Are you sure? Because I-"

"I wanna go to Coop's"

Seth nodded. He didn't know what was worse. A pissed Summer or a crying Summer.

Checking his pocket Seth realised that he still had his mom's keys. She wouldn't mind if he borrowed the car. Without asking. Summer had already settled herself in the passenger side so Seth got in as well. Seth shrugged and started the car and reversed slowly down the driveway. Hoping and praying really hard that his parents hadn't heard him.

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Marissa shifted and tried to concentrate on the television screen. She and Ryan had ditched the maths homework because it was giving Marissa a headache. Now she couldn't even hear what the people on screen were saying because all she could feel was the heat radiating from Ryan's body. She glanced at Ryan just in time to see the guy say something funny and Ryan grinned. She took a deep breath and diverted her attention to the screen.

"So you like this movie?"
Ryan turned to look at her but Marissa was staring pointedly at the movie.

"Yeah. I do actually. I never realised how old it was"

Now Marissa twisted her head to see him.

"Why not? This movie is like so old"

"Yeah but I haven't seen it for ages. The first time I saw it was when Trey and I snuck out and went to see it with his girlfriend. I think I was 7"

He stopped and realised that this was probably the first time that he had opened up to Marissa. Marissa seemed to have realised the same thing because she was staring at him in a way that made his whole body feel warm.

"That's really cool"

Marissa's voice was hoarse and she was still watching him.

Ryan nodded and looked at the screen and then back at Marissa. She was so close. He moved forward then hesitantly pressed his lips against hers. He heard her gasp of surprise and her eyes fluttered shut on their own accord. Marissa responded at first a little cautiously and threaded her hand into his hair, her nails pricking the back of his neck sending shivers through his body. Her mouth was warm against his and somehow his tongue found hers and a moan escaped. Neither knew where it came from.

The doorbell rang and Marissa pushed away from Ryan in total confusion.

"Marissa-" he began but was cut off by the doorbell again.

Marissa practically leapt from the couch and ran to answer the door and was totally surprised to see Seth and a tearful Summer on the other side.

"Summer what's wrong?"

Summer just pushed her way into the house and put a bag filled with something on the counter.

"Get out Chino"

Ryan stood and slowly walked towards the door. Summer pushed him into Seth and slammed the door shut. She turned to face Marissa and nearly broke down into tears again.

"I told Seth about my mom"

"What?"

Summer nodded and Marissa moved forward to hug her friend.

"It's ok Sum. You can stay with me. We can have ice cream and watch stupid movies"

Summer nodded again. "I bought ice cream," she said gesturing to the counter. Caitlyn, hearing the noise, walked into the kitchen. Seeing Summer she warily greeted her.

"Hey Summer"

Summer looked at her then back at Marissa who was now taking spoons and another carton of ice cream out of the freezer.

"Catie, me and Summer are gonna hang out for a while ok?

Caitlyn nodded and turned to go back to her room.

Summer grabbed one of the cartons and made her way to the TV where the old movie that Ryan and Marissa were watching.

"What is this crap?" Summer turned the movie off and went through the video collection. A few minutes later she inserted A Walk to Remember into the VCR.

Marissa followed and opened her carton of ice cream and settled herself on the couch next to Summer. It had been a while since they had done this. Both had been too caught up in their own problems. She glanced at Summer whose face was still tear streaked and was watching the opening scenes intently. She knew that when Summer wanted to talk she would. And her kiss with Ryan could wait. Right now all that mattered was forgetting about it and ignoring everything and everyone for a few hours. Or more.

"I hate Mandy Moore" Summer's voice shattered Marissa's thoughts.

"Shane West is way too hot for her," She continued.

Marissa nodded and stared at the ice cream in front of her. It had been so long since she had eaten properly.

"Here's to sucky lives," Marissa declared raising her carton.

"Amen sister," Summer grinned and they both clinked cartons and Marissa filled her mouth with chocolate.

They watched the movie in silence until Marissa spoke.

"Life's a bitch"

Summer didn't reply for a few moments.

"So is Mandy Moore"

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