I'll continue this for the one reviewer (Kitsune Youkai) who requested I
did continue. Thank you so much for reviewing my first fic ^-^
Notes: Ok, the math may not be exactly accurate since I'm not that great myself XP XD. And I used lyrics from the two songs "Crawling", and "Numb" both by Linkin Park And the only characters that belong to me are Kai, Mrs. Tsuka, Mr. Hiroshi, and Sachi.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Completely unacceptable!" Roared the principle, Mr. Hiroshi, while he paced back and forth before the two teens in his office.
Kai bit her lip and lowered her head, glancing at Malik who sat in the chair next to her.
He caught her gaze and responded with a look that said 'I know,' in a mournful tone. Malik suppressed a groan as he looked back up at Mr. Hiroshi bravely.
"Both of you will be suspended for at least a week until further notice, if you're lucky!"
Kai opened her mouth to protest, to say it wasn't Malik who had done it, but he cut her off.
"It's not her fault, sir. It's mine. I forced her into it." Malik confessed falsely.
Kai stared at him, shocked.
"Is that so?" Asked Mr. Hiroshi, sitting down at his desk and folding his arms.
"No!" Kai exclaimed at the same moment Malik nodded his head.
Mr.Hiroshi narrowed his eyes suspiciously at her. "Well, then, Ms. Tamazaki. Would you please tell me what DID happen in that closet?"
Kai glanced at Malik desperately. "I-I came onto him. It's not his fault." She lied.
"No! She's just trying to protect me! I raped her and I deserve all the punishment you give me!"
Mr. Hiroshi raised his eyebrows.
"I let it start! I led him on!"
"No you didn't!"
"Yes I did!"
"Enough!" Mr. Hiroshi roared, standing up and slamming his fists on the desk.
Kai and Malik jumped horribly.
"You're BOTH suspended for a week in the time being. More punishment will be discussed in the future. Now, please return to class, and get out of my site." Mr. Hiroshi said, putting his head in his hands and waving them off out the door.
"Why did you do that?!" Malik demanded once they were out of the office and walking down the hall.
"Because it wasn't you who did it! You don't deserve to be suspended for something you didn't do! Or do you WANT to be regarded as a rapist?!" Kai asked angrily, narrowing her green eyes.
Malik stared at her, bewildered. "No," He sighed, lowering his head. "But I don't want you to be regarded as a slut either."
There was silence between them and Kai sighed, bringing a hand up to her forehead and closing her eyes. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have blown up at you like that."
"It's okay. I understand. Just pretend like nothing happened, I don't want this to affect your work or grades in any way." Malik said as they stopped in front of the door to their classroom.
Kai nodded and smiled, this was the real Malik she loved. The one who cared immensely for her. They shared one brief kiss before Malik opened the door and they entered, hand in hand.
'Bye,' Kai mouthed as Malik let her hand slip away and she headed for her desk near the window on the second last row. Kai lowered her head, in attempt to cover her face with her hair as her classmates stared. They all knew what happened.
For the next hour Kai sat through math class, trying her best to concentrate, but she found it difficult. She finally gave up, leaning her head in her left hand and putting her elbow on the desk, staring at the chalkboard blankly. Everything Mrs. Tsuka said went in one ear and out the other. Her friends seemed to have deserted her too, they didn't even say 'Hi', or let alone glance her way and give her a sympathetic smile. In fact, they were completely ignoring her, pretending as though she didn't even exist.
"Kai, would you please come to the board and do this question for me." Mrs. Tsuka said, snapping Kai out of her haze.
Kai's stomach lurched as she looked at the problem written in white chalk on the black board for her. She didn't understand any of it! She got up and reluctantly accepted the piece of chalk from Mrs. Tsuka, approaching the board. Kai's green eyes scanned the question, she didn't understand one bit of it. It was like trying to read some foreign language she'd never heard of.
Kai bit her lip, and raised the chalk to the board. "Um..."
"Speak up, dear. I need to hear you explain what you are doing." Mrs. Tsuka said encouragingly.
Kai took a deep breath. How could she explain what she didn't understand? It was all just a jumble of variables and numbers with exposits to her. What did she have to do first? She sighed and put the chalk down in defeat. "I-I don't understand." Kai said softly, lowering her head in shame. Kai heard the class erupt into laughter.
"It's typical. She knows how to have sex but she can't do a math problem. That's what sluts are like." Said a boy with black hair.
The class laughed at this.
"She's not a slut!" Malik cried in the defence of Kai.
"Oh, yeah, right. Of course she's not. You were the one fucking her in the janitor's closet today." The boy replied, laughing.
"Jared! Watch your language, young man!" Mrs. Tsuka ordered, causing the class to hush up. "Now, just try and show me what you don't understand." She said in a softer tone to Kai.
She bit her lip and looked up at the question again.
"Stupid slut," She heard various people in the class mutter every few seconds that went by.
"I don't understand any of it." Kai said quietly.
The class roared with laughter.
"Oh, my GOD!" Several people exclaimed in disbelief.
"What a stupid trash whore."
Strings of insults followed, crashing into Kai wave after wave. And she took it silently, lowering her head.
But amidst the insults and jeering, one person raised their hand calmly and silently.
The noise drifted away as they all stared at this daring person.
"Yes, Bakura?" Mrs. Tsuka demanded.
He lowered his hand. "I'll help her if you'll let me, Mrs. Tsuka." Bakura said.
Kai looked up at the white-haired teen, then at Mrs. Tsuka.
She smiled. "Why, thank you for the generous offer, Mr. Ryou. Of course you may help Miss Tamazaki."
Bakura nodded and got up from his seat, approaching the board and picking up the chalk.
Kai smiled at him in thanks, and turned to watch the board as he taught her. He returned the smile before pointing out a particular part in the question.
"First you have to regroup all the variables from the same family. So, take the first variable, 'x', are there any other x's in the question?"
Kai scanned the problem on the board and shook her head.
"Right, so you leave that alone. Next, 'y', any other y's?"
She nodded her head. "There's two."
"Yep, so you take those two y's and add them together. Then you do the same with all the other variables and your end answer will be 8xy3 + 4a3." Bakura explained, writing the answer down on the board. "Get it now?" He asked, turning towards her.
"More than I did before. Thanks." Kai smiled.
Bakura smiled too. "Anytime,"
"Oooooooo," The class jeered, various boys whistling.
Mrs. Tsuka gave them all a death glare and turned towards Kai and Bakura. "Thank you, Bakura. You both may take your seats."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The bell rang for recess, and Kai groaned. Recess meant she was wide open to more insults by her classmates without a teacher's interruption. She put her sweater on and headed outside. Normally her group of friends would crowd around her and they'd all hang out; but not today. Her friends had abandoned her, forming the group without her, even though Kai was normally the ringleader of it. She watched them whisper, glance at her, then whisper some more, and Kai sighed, turning away to walk around the school yard on her own, kicking her soccer ball around as she walked with her hands in her pockets.
"Hey! Wait up!" A voice called out.
Kai turned to see one of her friend running in her direction. Her heart warmed; maybe one of her friends really was a true friend.
^*^*^*^*^*^* Crawling in my skin These wounds they will not heal Fear is how I fall Confusing what is real ^*^*^*^*^*^*
But Ayumi just gave Kai a disgusted look, then, ran past her towards the group a few yards away.
Kai lowered her head. 'It's not fair,' She thought. Unable to contain her tears any longer, Kai picked up her soccer ball and ran towards the closest school entrance, tears streaming from her eyes, which now seemed to be a dark dense forest of green.
^*^*^*^*^*^*^ There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface Consuming confusing This lack of self-control I fear is never ending Controlling I can't seem To find myself again My walls are closing in (Got a sense of confidence I'm convince that there's just too much pressure to take) I've felt this way before So insecure ^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Students stared at her as she passed, sneering and making disgusted faces, the rumour seemed to have spread. Rain started falling in light drops, the grey sky suiting Kai's inner feelings. She ran, pushing her legs to carry her as fast as they could.
"Kai!" Malik exclaimed, trying to stop her. But she just pushed past him and continued her path towards the doors. Unable to stop in time, the collided into them and started trying to yank the doors open; no use, they were locked from the inside. Why did they always do that?!
Kai banged on the doors, the tears falling faster. She gave up with a soft sob, sliding down the cold metal of the doors to fall on the ground hopelessly. She didn't have any friends. They had all turned their backs on her. All she had left was her father. But he didn't care for her, he never did.
^*^*^*^*^*^*^* Crawling in my skin These wounds they will not heal Fear is how I fall Confusing what is real ^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Kai got up again and ran around to the office entrance, that one was always unlocked. She burst through the doors and slowed to a swift walk. Her heart pounding horribly in her chest, watching the people she passed who gave her confused looks. Kai knew it was because she didn't look normal at that moment, probably horrible. She ignored any attempt of conversation, making her way through the halls towards the girls' bathroom.
Once in, the first thing she saw was her reflection in one of the mirrors on the opposite wall, hanging over the sinks. She approached it, choking back sobs.
Kai stared at her reflection intensely, her knuckles turning white as she grasped the edges of the marble sink. Tears welled in her now very dark green eyes.
^*^*^*^*^*^ Discomfort endlessly has pulled itself upon me Distracting, reacting Against my will I stand beside my own reflection It's haunting how I can't seem to find myself again My walls are closing in I've felt this way before So insecure ^*^*^*^*^*^
Her pants were full of mud, her face tear-stained and blotchy, and her eyes red from the crying. Her brown hair was near soaking and horribly messed in a tangle of knots, specks of dirt here and there on her face.
Kai let out a sob which echoed around the bathroom, and punched the mirror angrily. She screamed and bent down on the ground, wrapping her arms around her knees and rocking back and forth as shards from the broken mirror showered around her.
^*^*^*^*^*^ Crawling in my skin These wounds they will not heal Fear is how I fall Confusing what is real ^*^*^*^*^*^
She stopped her sobbing for a moment, picking up a shard of glass. Standing up again, Kai gazed at it, then looked up at the broken mirror, her face reflecting at her off of a single jagged piece still intact on the wall. In a daze, Kai lifted the shard and pressed it to her neck. 'There's no point living anyways. It's not like I have a future.' She thought, watching shard pressing into her skin.
^*^*^*^*^*^* Crawling in my skin These wounds they will not heal Fear is how I fall Confusing, confusing what is real ^*^*^*^*^*^*
As a drop of crimson blood oozed beneath the blade and trickled slowly down to her chest, Kai felt as though a burden had been lifted off of her shoulders, and she closed her eyes, tipping her head back and preparing to slash the jagged edge across her throat and finish this.
^*^*^*^*^*^* There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface Consuming, confusing what is real This lack of self-control I fear is never ending Controlling, confusing what is real ^*^*^*^*^*^*
"Kai! What are you doing?!" Malik yelled, running towards her after he pushed open the door.
Kai quickly withdrew the shard and swung around, annoyed that someone had intruded. "Nothing," She mumbled, lowering her head.
Malik studied her for a second and noticed a trail of blood running down from her neck. "You were trying to slit your throat, weren't you?!"
She didn't reply, but closed her eyes, refusing to let tears escape again.
"Kai, that's not going to help anything," Malik said gently, taking careful steps towards her.
She sobbed softly. "I know, you're right." Kai whispered, clutching the shard.
"Can I take you back outside, now?" He asked, putting a hand on her shoulder and gently prying the shard from her grasp, slowly.
Kai let the shard slide from her grasp and sniffed, nodding.
Malik almost sighed with relief when he finally got the shard away from her, and smiled. "Everything will be okay, you'll see."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It was the end of the day and Kai was silently packing her books away in her bag, preparing to go home, when Mrs. Tsuka pulled her aside.
"Mr. Hiroshi called your father nearly an hour ago. I want you to be extremely careful, Kai." She cautioned.
Kai nodded. Mrs. Tsuka had been somewhat of an older friend figure whom she could tell anything. When something was wrong, Mrs. Tsuka was normally the one she went to for help. She knew everything about how Kai's mother had abandoned her when she was a baby and her father had custody, but didn't take very good care of her. Kai had mostly looked out for herself up until the point she met Mrs. Tsuka. "Thank you, for everything, you've really helped me."
Mrs. Tsuka smiled. "No problem, dear. Now hurry off home, nearly everyone has left."
"Bye," Kai said, swinging her bag over her shoulder and heading out the doors.
"Hey, Kai! Wait up!" Bakura called.
She swung around to watch him run towards her, her expression gloomy. "What do you want?" Kai demanded.
"Just to walk you home. I was a bit worried since you've had a rough day." Bakura replied, blushing a bit.
"Sure, I suppose, if you want to give up your spot in the popular group hanging out with a slut loner like me." Kai said monotonously, continuing her path out of the schoolyard with Bakura tagging along.
"Don't say that about yourself. You know it's not true." He said, adjusting the strap of his school bag on his shoulder.
"How do you know? That's what I am to everyone else now." Kai replied, eyeing the group of her classmates they were approaching. She wanted to pass without any trouble, but obviously that wasn't an option at the moment.
"Well if it isn't Little Miss Slut slut." The group laughed.
"Good one, Sota." Jared praised.
"Bakura and Miss Slutty, sitting in a tree f-u-c-k-i-n-g." The boys broke off into chant.
Kai took it silently, passing them by and flipping them off, before continuing her path as if nothing had happened.
"You know it's true!" Sota called after her.
"Oh, go fuck yourself!" Bakura called back in Kai's defence since she didn't seem to want to defend herself at the moment. "Why are you letting them do this to you?"
"Well, there's no point trying to stop them is there? They won't stop no matter how much I might swear at them. And I'd rather not give them the satisfaction." Kai replied, crossing the street with him.
"They'll get over it sooner or later." Bakura assured her.
"Will they?" She asked sceptically. "I can't see it happening."
Bakura decided to change the subject. "So, do you have a favourite music artist?" He asked.
"Ayumi Hamasaki. You?" Kai replied.
~*~*~
By the time they reached Kai's house, she'd gotten to know Bakura quite a bit better, and was happy at least one person would remain her friend through this.
"Bye!" She called to him, opening the door to her house.
"See you tomorrow!" Bakura answered.
Kai closed the door after waving at him, and set her bag down on the floor.
^*^*^*^*^*^*^ I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow) ^*^*^*^*^*^*^
The silence in the house was eerie, and she realized all the curtains and blinds over the windows had been closed, making the house even darker than it was outside. Kai cautiously turned on a light in the hall, and walked further into the house. "Dad? I'm home." She called, but there was no reply.
Kai entered the living room and switched on the light. "Dad? Hi," She said carefully, noticing her father sitting on the couch, his brown hair ruffled and messed, his work shirt not tucked in. Kai noted the number of beer bottles that littered the ground and paid extra heed.
"Is that him?" Sachi asked coldly, watching Bakura cross the street through the gap in the curtains over the bay window.
"What?" Kai asked, pretending to be confused.
Sachi turned his bloodshot hazel eyes up to her. "You know damn right what I'm talking about you little bitch whore. You're turning into your mother."
Kai was taken aback and didn't reply. Being called a slut by her classmates was one thing, but being called a whore by her own father was another. It really hurt her inside.
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
"Answer me. Was it him?"
"I-... I'm still not sure what you're trying to ask me." Kai lied, backing away a bit.
"How much simpler can I make it for you? Fine! WAS IT HIM YOU FUCKED WITH??!?!?!!? DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOW?!" Sachi roared at her, getting to his feet in anger.
Kai was scared, it was evident in her eyes, but she tried to stay as calm as possible and stand her ground. "Dad, you've been drinking. Please try to calm down."
"Oh, I'm calm all right. I'm fucking calm!" He yelled, picking up a beer bottle and throwing it at her.
Kai screamed and ducked, covering her head as the beer bottle shattered on the wall behind her.
"Answer me, you little slut! Did... he... fuck... you?!" Sachi yelled, grabbing Kai's hair in anger and pulling her head back.
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
"No!" She screamed.
"Then who?!!"
"Malik!!" Kai screeched back.
Sachi lessened his grip on her hair a bit. "I thought Malik was your ex. So now you're fucking even your ex-boyfriends are you?! Fucking slut." He spat, throwing her down on the floor by her hair.
Kai whimpered and scampered as far away from him as she could.
"Did you like it? Was it good? I sure hope it was. Cause this isn't going to feel nearly that great." Sachi hissed, advancing dangerously on her.
Kai screamed and tried to get away but she wasn't fast enough.
He kicked her in the stomach, making her fall to the ground, then he stomped on her chest.
Kai started crying. "Stop! Please!"
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
"Stop?" Sachi asked. "I'm sure you didn't say that while you were in the janitor's closet. You fucking BITCH!" He yelled, kicking her in the side.
Kai screamed in pain, wanting it all to end. "Dad! Stop! If I have the bruises to prove it I'll call the authorities!" Kai yelled as her last defence.
Sachi stopped in mid kick, and growled. "You little bitch." He hissed slowly.
^*^*^*^*^*^*^* And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
"Go up to your room, then. And don't expect any dinner. You're not leaving until your suspension from school is up. GO! Now! Before I beat you up again! You fucking little bitch whore"
Kai whimpered and scrambled to her feet, taking off up the stairs to her room.
^*^*^*^*^*^*^* I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
She slammed the door behind her and collapsed on the bed, hugging her favourite stuffed animal she'd had since she was 4. Her whole life was ruined. She knew it. And she didn't feel it would get much better.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A month had now passed. Kai and Malik were now condemned to in school suspension for another week. The day's schoolwork was brought to them as they sat in chairs in the principle's office and they had to try and figure it out together even if it was a new subject.
But when Mr. Hiroshi left, Malik and Kai would talk about anything besides schoolwork.
On this day, Kai was worried. And she needed to talk to Malik about it since it had to do with him as well.
"Malik, I don't want you to jump to conclusions, because it could be anything but there's a problem." She sighed.
"Problem? Like what?"
Kai bit her lip and continued. "I've missed my period twice now. And I think you know what that might mean. I was due sometime after... he.... You know.... And this week, and there hasn't been anything. I'm worried."
Malik stared at her. "Oh, Ra,"
"Exactly. I don't know what to do," Kai said mournfully, the stress of it all showing in her green eyes, which seemed to have gone somewhat dull and dark lately.
"Well, have you taken a pregnancy test? That could help you clear your conscience a bit." Malik suggested.
"That's what I wanted to talk to you about." Kai rummaged around in her sweater pocket and slipped out a test just enough for him to see in case Mr. Hiroshi walked in soon.
Malik's eyes widened and he looked up at her.
"I wanted to take it here so you could be here with me..." Kai said in a low voice.
Malik nodded. "How about I ask to go to the bathroom first. Then you wait a few minutes, and ask Mr. Hiroshi if you can go and get something out of your desk in class?"
"Sounds like a good plan to me." Kai replied, taking a deep breath, watching Mr. Hiroshi's shadow approach the door. She returned to her math work sheets, leaving Malik to put the plan into action.
"Sir? Can I go to the bathroom?" He asked politely.
"Of course but I'll be timing you. No more than 20 minutes or I'm hunting you down." Mr. Hiroshi replied, looking down at the papers before him.
Kai and Malik exchanged glances, and she knew she'd have to be quick.
About a minute later Kai spoke up. "Um, Mr. Hiroshi?" Kai asked, her stomach twisting in knots as to what might happen if something went wrong.
"Hm?" He mumbled.
"Can I go get something out of my desk in class? I always need my notebook for doodling and writing once I finish my work."
"Sure, that's wonderful, Ms. Tamazaki. I remember I knew a friend who used to do that and he became a Japanese cartoon artist..." Mr. Hirosho started rambling on about his child hood and his friend who 'drew the most exquisite pieces he'd ever seen'.
"Um, that's nice... can I go now?" Kai asked cautiously.
Mr. Hiroshi nodded and pointed at the clock, letting her know she was being timed as well.
Kai nodded her understanding and got up to leave.
~*~*~*~*~
"Done yet? We've only got 5 minutes left!" Malik hissed urgently through the stall door, glancing around scared that someone might come in and notice he was a boy in the girls' bathroom.
"Almost, I think. I have to wait for it change colours..." Kai suddenly screamed and slammed her back into the stall wall.
"What is it?!" Malik asked. He heard the stall door unlock and he swung it open.
Kai was pressing her back against the stall door, her hand clapped to her mouth as she shook her head violently, her face going pale.
Malik gave her a questioning look and she pointed at the ground, starting to hyperventilate. His lavender eyes travelled down to the pregnancy test on the ground and he almost gasped himself.
It was pink............
~~~~~~
O.O uh oh! PLEASE REVIEW IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!!! PPPPLLLEEEEEEAAAASSSEEE!!! ( Luv ya, Kitsune! ^_~
Notes: Ok, the math may not be exactly accurate since I'm not that great myself XP XD. And I used lyrics from the two songs "Crawling", and "Numb" both by Linkin Park And the only characters that belong to me are Kai, Mrs. Tsuka, Mr. Hiroshi, and Sachi.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Completely unacceptable!" Roared the principle, Mr. Hiroshi, while he paced back and forth before the two teens in his office.
Kai bit her lip and lowered her head, glancing at Malik who sat in the chair next to her.
He caught her gaze and responded with a look that said 'I know,' in a mournful tone. Malik suppressed a groan as he looked back up at Mr. Hiroshi bravely.
"Both of you will be suspended for at least a week until further notice, if you're lucky!"
Kai opened her mouth to protest, to say it wasn't Malik who had done it, but he cut her off.
"It's not her fault, sir. It's mine. I forced her into it." Malik confessed falsely.
Kai stared at him, shocked.
"Is that so?" Asked Mr. Hiroshi, sitting down at his desk and folding his arms.
"No!" Kai exclaimed at the same moment Malik nodded his head.
Mr.Hiroshi narrowed his eyes suspiciously at her. "Well, then, Ms. Tamazaki. Would you please tell me what DID happen in that closet?"
Kai glanced at Malik desperately. "I-I came onto him. It's not his fault." She lied.
"No! She's just trying to protect me! I raped her and I deserve all the punishment you give me!"
Mr. Hiroshi raised his eyebrows.
"I let it start! I led him on!"
"No you didn't!"
"Yes I did!"
"Enough!" Mr. Hiroshi roared, standing up and slamming his fists on the desk.
Kai and Malik jumped horribly.
"You're BOTH suspended for a week in the time being. More punishment will be discussed in the future. Now, please return to class, and get out of my site." Mr. Hiroshi said, putting his head in his hands and waving them off out the door.
"Why did you do that?!" Malik demanded once they were out of the office and walking down the hall.
"Because it wasn't you who did it! You don't deserve to be suspended for something you didn't do! Or do you WANT to be regarded as a rapist?!" Kai asked angrily, narrowing her green eyes.
Malik stared at her, bewildered. "No," He sighed, lowering his head. "But I don't want you to be regarded as a slut either."
There was silence between them and Kai sighed, bringing a hand up to her forehead and closing her eyes. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have blown up at you like that."
"It's okay. I understand. Just pretend like nothing happened, I don't want this to affect your work or grades in any way." Malik said as they stopped in front of the door to their classroom.
Kai nodded and smiled, this was the real Malik she loved. The one who cared immensely for her. They shared one brief kiss before Malik opened the door and they entered, hand in hand.
'Bye,' Kai mouthed as Malik let her hand slip away and she headed for her desk near the window on the second last row. Kai lowered her head, in attempt to cover her face with her hair as her classmates stared. They all knew what happened.
For the next hour Kai sat through math class, trying her best to concentrate, but she found it difficult. She finally gave up, leaning her head in her left hand and putting her elbow on the desk, staring at the chalkboard blankly. Everything Mrs. Tsuka said went in one ear and out the other. Her friends seemed to have deserted her too, they didn't even say 'Hi', or let alone glance her way and give her a sympathetic smile. In fact, they were completely ignoring her, pretending as though she didn't even exist.
"Kai, would you please come to the board and do this question for me." Mrs. Tsuka said, snapping Kai out of her haze.
Kai's stomach lurched as she looked at the problem written in white chalk on the black board for her. She didn't understand any of it! She got up and reluctantly accepted the piece of chalk from Mrs. Tsuka, approaching the board. Kai's green eyes scanned the question, she didn't understand one bit of it. It was like trying to read some foreign language she'd never heard of.
Kai bit her lip, and raised the chalk to the board. "Um..."
"Speak up, dear. I need to hear you explain what you are doing." Mrs. Tsuka said encouragingly.
Kai took a deep breath. How could she explain what she didn't understand? It was all just a jumble of variables and numbers with exposits to her. What did she have to do first? She sighed and put the chalk down in defeat. "I-I don't understand." Kai said softly, lowering her head in shame. Kai heard the class erupt into laughter.
"It's typical. She knows how to have sex but she can't do a math problem. That's what sluts are like." Said a boy with black hair.
The class laughed at this.
"She's not a slut!" Malik cried in the defence of Kai.
"Oh, yeah, right. Of course she's not. You were the one fucking her in the janitor's closet today." The boy replied, laughing.
"Jared! Watch your language, young man!" Mrs. Tsuka ordered, causing the class to hush up. "Now, just try and show me what you don't understand." She said in a softer tone to Kai.
She bit her lip and looked up at the question again.
"Stupid slut," She heard various people in the class mutter every few seconds that went by.
"I don't understand any of it." Kai said quietly.
The class roared with laughter.
"Oh, my GOD!" Several people exclaimed in disbelief.
"What a stupid trash whore."
Strings of insults followed, crashing into Kai wave after wave. And she took it silently, lowering her head.
But amidst the insults and jeering, one person raised their hand calmly and silently.
The noise drifted away as they all stared at this daring person.
"Yes, Bakura?" Mrs. Tsuka demanded.
He lowered his hand. "I'll help her if you'll let me, Mrs. Tsuka." Bakura said.
Kai looked up at the white-haired teen, then at Mrs. Tsuka.
She smiled. "Why, thank you for the generous offer, Mr. Ryou. Of course you may help Miss Tamazaki."
Bakura nodded and got up from his seat, approaching the board and picking up the chalk.
Kai smiled at him in thanks, and turned to watch the board as he taught her. He returned the smile before pointing out a particular part in the question.
"First you have to regroup all the variables from the same family. So, take the first variable, 'x', are there any other x's in the question?"
Kai scanned the problem on the board and shook her head.
"Right, so you leave that alone. Next, 'y', any other y's?"
She nodded her head. "There's two."
"Yep, so you take those two y's and add them together. Then you do the same with all the other variables and your end answer will be 8xy3 + 4a3." Bakura explained, writing the answer down on the board. "Get it now?" He asked, turning towards her.
"More than I did before. Thanks." Kai smiled.
Bakura smiled too. "Anytime,"
"Oooooooo," The class jeered, various boys whistling.
Mrs. Tsuka gave them all a death glare and turned towards Kai and Bakura. "Thank you, Bakura. You both may take your seats."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The bell rang for recess, and Kai groaned. Recess meant she was wide open to more insults by her classmates without a teacher's interruption. She put her sweater on and headed outside. Normally her group of friends would crowd around her and they'd all hang out; but not today. Her friends had abandoned her, forming the group without her, even though Kai was normally the ringleader of it. She watched them whisper, glance at her, then whisper some more, and Kai sighed, turning away to walk around the school yard on her own, kicking her soccer ball around as she walked with her hands in her pockets.
"Hey! Wait up!" A voice called out.
Kai turned to see one of her friend running in her direction. Her heart warmed; maybe one of her friends really was a true friend.
^*^*^*^*^*^* Crawling in my skin These wounds they will not heal Fear is how I fall Confusing what is real ^*^*^*^*^*^*
But Ayumi just gave Kai a disgusted look, then, ran past her towards the group a few yards away.
Kai lowered her head. 'It's not fair,' She thought. Unable to contain her tears any longer, Kai picked up her soccer ball and ran towards the closest school entrance, tears streaming from her eyes, which now seemed to be a dark dense forest of green.
^*^*^*^*^*^*^ There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface Consuming confusing This lack of self-control I fear is never ending Controlling I can't seem To find myself again My walls are closing in (Got a sense of confidence I'm convince that there's just too much pressure to take) I've felt this way before So insecure ^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Students stared at her as she passed, sneering and making disgusted faces, the rumour seemed to have spread. Rain started falling in light drops, the grey sky suiting Kai's inner feelings. She ran, pushing her legs to carry her as fast as they could.
"Kai!" Malik exclaimed, trying to stop her. But she just pushed past him and continued her path towards the doors. Unable to stop in time, the collided into them and started trying to yank the doors open; no use, they were locked from the inside. Why did they always do that?!
Kai banged on the doors, the tears falling faster. She gave up with a soft sob, sliding down the cold metal of the doors to fall on the ground hopelessly. She didn't have any friends. They had all turned their backs on her. All she had left was her father. But he didn't care for her, he never did.
^*^*^*^*^*^*^* Crawling in my skin These wounds they will not heal Fear is how I fall Confusing what is real ^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Kai got up again and ran around to the office entrance, that one was always unlocked. She burst through the doors and slowed to a swift walk. Her heart pounding horribly in her chest, watching the people she passed who gave her confused looks. Kai knew it was because she didn't look normal at that moment, probably horrible. She ignored any attempt of conversation, making her way through the halls towards the girls' bathroom.
Once in, the first thing she saw was her reflection in one of the mirrors on the opposite wall, hanging over the sinks. She approached it, choking back sobs.
Kai stared at her reflection intensely, her knuckles turning white as she grasped the edges of the marble sink. Tears welled in her now very dark green eyes.
^*^*^*^*^*^ Discomfort endlessly has pulled itself upon me Distracting, reacting Against my will I stand beside my own reflection It's haunting how I can't seem to find myself again My walls are closing in I've felt this way before So insecure ^*^*^*^*^*^
Her pants were full of mud, her face tear-stained and blotchy, and her eyes red from the crying. Her brown hair was near soaking and horribly messed in a tangle of knots, specks of dirt here and there on her face.
Kai let out a sob which echoed around the bathroom, and punched the mirror angrily. She screamed and bent down on the ground, wrapping her arms around her knees and rocking back and forth as shards from the broken mirror showered around her.
^*^*^*^*^*^ Crawling in my skin These wounds they will not heal Fear is how I fall Confusing what is real ^*^*^*^*^*^
She stopped her sobbing for a moment, picking up a shard of glass. Standing up again, Kai gazed at it, then looked up at the broken mirror, her face reflecting at her off of a single jagged piece still intact on the wall. In a daze, Kai lifted the shard and pressed it to her neck. 'There's no point living anyways. It's not like I have a future.' She thought, watching shard pressing into her skin.
^*^*^*^*^*^* Crawling in my skin These wounds they will not heal Fear is how I fall Confusing, confusing what is real ^*^*^*^*^*^*
As a drop of crimson blood oozed beneath the blade and trickled slowly down to her chest, Kai felt as though a burden had been lifted off of her shoulders, and she closed her eyes, tipping her head back and preparing to slash the jagged edge across her throat and finish this.
^*^*^*^*^*^* There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface Consuming, confusing what is real This lack of self-control I fear is never ending Controlling, confusing what is real ^*^*^*^*^*^*
"Kai! What are you doing?!" Malik yelled, running towards her after he pushed open the door.
Kai quickly withdrew the shard and swung around, annoyed that someone had intruded. "Nothing," She mumbled, lowering her head.
Malik studied her for a second and noticed a trail of blood running down from her neck. "You were trying to slit your throat, weren't you?!"
She didn't reply, but closed her eyes, refusing to let tears escape again.
"Kai, that's not going to help anything," Malik said gently, taking careful steps towards her.
She sobbed softly. "I know, you're right." Kai whispered, clutching the shard.
"Can I take you back outside, now?" He asked, putting a hand on her shoulder and gently prying the shard from her grasp, slowly.
Kai let the shard slide from her grasp and sniffed, nodding.
Malik almost sighed with relief when he finally got the shard away from her, and smiled. "Everything will be okay, you'll see."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It was the end of the day and Kai was silently packing her books away in her bag, preparing to go home, when Mrs. Tsuka pulled her aside.
"Mr. Hiroshi called your father nearly an hour ago. I want you to be extremely careful, Kai." She cautioned.
Kai nodded. Mrs. Tsuka had been somewhat of an older friend figure whom she could tell anything. When something was wrong, Mrs. Tsuka was normally the one she went to for help. She knew everything about how Kai's mother had abandoned her when she was a baby and her father had custody, but didn't take very good care of her. Kai had mostly looked out for herself up until the point she met Mrs. Tsuka. "Thank you, for everything, you've really helped me."
Mrs. Tsuka smiled. "No problem, dear. Now hurry off home, nearly everyone has left."
"Bye," Kai said, swinging her bag over her shoulder and heading out the doors.
"Hey, Kai! Wait up!" Bakura called.
She swung around to watch him run towards her, her expression gloomy. "What do you want?" Kai demanded.
"Just to walk you home. I was a bit worried since you've had a rough day." Bakura replied, blushing a bit.
"Sure, I suppose, if you want to give up your spot in the popular group hanging out with a slut loner like me." Kai said monotonously, continuing her path out of the schoolyard with Bakura tagging along.
"Don't say that about yourself. You know it's not true." He said, adjusting the strap of his school bag on his shoulder.
"How do you know? That's what I am to everyone else now." Kai replied, eyeing the group of her classmates they were approaching. She wanted to pass without any trouble, but obviously that wasn't an option at the moment.
"Well if it isn't Little Miss Slut slut." The group laughed.
"Good one, Sota." Jared praised.
"Bakura and Miss Slutty, sitting in a tree f-u-c-k-i-n-g." The boys broke off into chant.
Kai took it silently, passing them by and flipping them off, before continuing her path as if nothing had happened.
"You know it's true!" Sota called after her.
"Oh, go fuck yourself!" Bakura called back in Kai's defence since she didn't seem to want to defend herself at the moment. "Why are you letting them do this to you?"
"Well, there's no point trying to stop them is there? They won't stop no matter how much I might swear at them. And I'd rather not give them the satisfaction." Kai replied, crossing the street with him.
"They'll get over it sooner or later." Bakura assured her.
"Will they?" She asked sceptically. "I can't see it happening."
Bakura decided to change the subject. "So, do you have a favourite music artist?" He asked.
"Ayumi Hamasaki. You?" Kai replied.
~*~*~
By the time they reached Kai's house, she'd gotten to know Bakura quite a bit better, and was happy at least one person would remain her friend through this.
"Bye!" She called to him, opening the door to her house.
"See you tomorrow!" Bakura answered.
Kai closed the door after waving at him, and set her bag down on the floor.
^*^*^*^*^*^*^ I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow) ^*^*^*^*^*^*^
The silence in the house was eerie, and she realized all the curtains and blinds over the windows had been closed, making the house even darker than it was outside. Kai cautiously turned on a light in the hall, and walked further into the house. "Dad? I'm home." She called, but there was no reply.
Kai entered the living room and switched on the light. "Dad? Hi," She said carefully, noticing her father sitting on the couch, his brown hair ruffled and messed, his work shirt not tucked in. Kai noted the number of beer bottles that littered the ground and paid extra heed.
"Is that him?" Sachi asked coldly, watching Bakura cross the street through the gap in the curtains over the bay window.
"What?" Kai asked, pretending to be confused.
Sachi turned his bloodshot hazel eyes up to her. "You know damn right what I'm talking about you little bitch whore. You're turning into your mother."
Kai was taken aback and didn't reply. Being called a slut by her classmates was one thing, but being called a whore by her own father was another. It really hurt her inside.
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
"Answer me. Was it him?"
"I-... I'm still not sure what you're trying to ask me." Kai lied, backing away a bit.
"How much simpler can I make it for you? Fine! WAS IT HIM YOU FUCKED WITH??!?!?!!? DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOW?!" Sachi roared at her, getting to his feet in anger.
Kai was scared, it was evident in her eyes, but she tried to stay as calm as possible and stand her ground. "Dad, you've been drinking. Please try to calm down."
"Oh, I'm calm all right. I'm fucking calm!" He yelled, picking up a beer bottle and throwing it at her.
Kai screamed and ducked, covering her head as the beer bottle shattered on the wall behind her.
"Answer me, you little slut! Did... he... fuck... you?!" Sachi yelled, grabbing Kai's hair in anger and pulling her head back.
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
"No!" She screamed.
"Then who?!!"
"Malik!!" Kai screeched back.
Sachi lessened his grip on her hair a bit. "I thought Malik was your ex. So now you're fucking even your ex-boyfriends are you?! Fucking slut." He spat, throwing her down on the floor by her hair.
Kai whimpered and scampered as far away from him as she could.
"Did you like it? Was it good? I sure hope it was. Cause this isn't going to feel nearly that great." Sachi hissed, advancing dangerously on her.
Kai screamed and tried to get away but she wasn't fast enough.
He kicked her in the stomach, making her fall to the ground, then he stomped on her chest.
Kai started crying. "Stop! Please!"
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
"Stop?" Sachi asked. "I'm sure you didn't say that while you were in the janitor's closet. You fucking BITCH!" He yelled, kicking her in the side.
Kai screamed in pain, wanting it all to end. "Dad! Stop! If I have the bruises to prove it I'll call the authorities!" Kai yelled as her last defence.
Sachi stopped in mid kick, and growled. "You little bitch." He hissed slowly.
^*^*^*^*^*^*^* And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
"Go up to your room, then. And don't expect any dinner. You're not leaving until your suspension from school is up. GO! Now! Before I beat you up again! You fucking little bitch whore"
Kai whimpered and scrambled to her feet, taking off up the stairs to her room.
^*^*^*^*^*^*^* I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
She slammed the door behind her and collapsed on the bed, hugging her favourite stuffed animal she'd had since she was 4. Her whole life was ruined. She knew it. And she didn't feel it would get much better.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A month had now passed. Kai and Malik were now condemned to in school suspension for another week. The day's schoolwork was brought to them as they sat in chairs in the principle's office and they had to try and figure it out together even if it was a new subject.
But when Mr. Hiroshi left, Malik and Kai would talk about anything besides schoolwork.
On this day, Kai was worried. And she needed to talk to Malik about it since it had to do with him as well.
"Malik, I don't want you to jump to conclusions, because it could be anything but there's a problem." She sighed.
"Problem? Like what?"
Kai bit her lip and continued. "I've missed my period twice now. And I think you know what that might mean. I was due sometime after... he.... You know.... And this week, and there hasn't been anything. I'm worried."
Malik stared at her. "Oh, Ra,"
"Exactly. I don't know what to do," Kai said mournfully, the stress of it all showing in her green eyes, which seemed to have gone somewhat dull and dark lately.
"Well, have you taken a pregnancy test? That could help you clear your conscience a bit." Malik suggested.
"That's what I wanted to talk to you about." Kai rummaged around in her sweater pocket and slipped out a test just enough for him to see in case Mr. Hiroshi walked in soon.
Malik's eyes widened and he looked up at her.
"I wanted to take it here so you could be here with me..." Kai said in a low voice.
Malik nodded. "How about I ask to go to the bathroom first. Then you wait a few minutes, and ask Mr. Hiroshi if you can go and get something out of your desk in class?"
"Sounds like a good plan to me." Kai replied, taking a deep breath, watching Mr. Hiroshi's shadow approach the door. She returned to her math work sheets, leaving Malik to put the plan into action.
"Sir? Can I go to the bathroom?" He asked politely.
"Of course but I'll be timing you. No more than 20 minutes or I'm hunting you down." Mr. Hiroshi replied, looking down at the papers before him.
Kai and Malik exchanged glances, and she knew she'd have to be quick.
About a minute later Kai spoke up. "Um, Mr. Hiroshi?" Kai asked, her stomach twisting in knots as to what might happen if something went wrong.
"Hm?" He mumbled.
"Can I go get something out of my desk in class? I always need my notebook for doodling and writing once I finish my work."
"Sure, that's wonderful, Ms. Tamazaki. I remember I knew a friend who used to do that and he became a Japanese cartoon artist..." Mr. Hirosho started rambling on about his child hood and his friend who 'drew the most exquisite pieces he'd ever seen'.
"Um, that's nice... can I go now?" Kai asked cautiously.
Mr. Hiroshi nodded and pointed at the clock, letting her know she was being timed as well.
Kai nodded her understanding and got up to leave.
~*~*~*~*~
"Done yet? We've only got 5 minutes left!" Malik hissed urgently through the stall door, glancing around scared that someone might come in and notice he was a boy in the girls' bathroom.
"Almost, I think. I have to wait for it change colours..." Kai suddenly screamed and slammed her back into the stall wall.
"What is it?!" Malik asked. He heard the stall door unlock and he swung it open.
Kai was pressing her back against the stall door, her hand clapped to her mouth as she shook her head violently, her face going pale.
Malik gave her a questioning look and she pointed at the ground, starting to hyperventilate. His lavender eyes travelled down to the pregnancy test on the ground and he almost gasped himself.
It was pink............
~~~~~~
O.O uh oh! PLEASE REVIEW IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!!! PPPPLLLEEEEEEAAAASSSEEE!!! ( Luv ya, Kitsune! ^_~