Title: Eccedentesiast
Author: Tuliharja
Summary: Weddings are supposed to be a happy occasion, so why does it seem like something is weighing down the bride? One-shot.
Disclaimer: BLEACH belongs to Tite Kubo. I'm merely writing fanfiction about it. I don't either own the cover art of this.
Author's note: Thank you KEleison for betaing this.
-Eccedentesiast-
n. someone who hides pain behind a smile
.
"Congratulations!" echoed all around her as she held her beautiful bridal bouquet, next to her husband. A wide smile was plastered on her lips as she watched her family and friends shouting all around her joy's manner, yet she felt dead inside. She felt like throwing up as her gaze swept across the wedding guests before it stilled and focused on a sole person.
A soft gasp escaped from her lips as she gazed at this single person. Yet the moment was quickly broken as her new husband draped an arm around her. A snarl escaped from between her lips, prompting her new husband to glance at her curiously. Realizing she had accidentally let her façade drop, she quickly excused herself as she hastily walked to the side.
It was time to throw the bouquet for a lucky next person, even though she didn't feel at all lucky. Sighing, she threw the flower bouquet, just to hear squeals and screams, before a hushing silence landed behind her. Curiously, the bride turned around just to gasp as the flowers landed in Yamamoto's arms. Blushing a deep red, she again excused herself as she all but ran away.
She had messed up a big time this time! Out of all people, why did the bouquet have to land in Yamamoto's arms?
Shaking her head, the bride quickly stomped to the nearest bathroom. As soon as the door closed behind herself, she splashed some water against her face as she let out a shaky breath. She should get her act together and soon! Her husband was probably already waiting for her, wondering where she had gone so suddenly. Yet the guilt was gnawing her from inside.
She had only picked her husband to forget him, but seeing him among the wedding guests, next to Ukitake had made her remember all those feelings she had tried to be kept at bay. She knew the age difference was ridiculous, but it didn't matter to her. So why in Soul King's name does it matter to him? He was the sweetest, strongest, and most stubborn man she had ever met. But even with his all flaws she had admired him deeply and had fallen for him.
The moment she learned her feelings weren't just a mere crush, she had been over the moon. Yet despite that, she had kept her distance to ensure he would come along. After all, such an older man as him courting a much younger woman would have been scandalous in Soul Society's social circles. But she hadn't cared, because she knew that if the situation had been reversed, it would have been alright if she had courted him! In fact, many people would have admired her teaching a young boy; it would have been cute if not a bit funny. But the far too much older man who could be her great-something-grandfather? Unheard of! Awful! Disgusting!
Taking a slow, shaky breath she nodded her head as she felt she had calmed down a bit. Pulling the bathroom door's handle, she stepped outside just to freeze. Near the bathroom was standing Yamamoto, still holding her bouquet. The older man merely tilted his head, while offering her back the flowers.
Shaking her head, the bride gave Yamamoto a bittersweet smile.
"Keep it, Genryuusai," she told him softly, her vision turning a bit blurry from the tears she tried to fight back. "I want you to remember this day."
It was childish, she knew, but she wanted to hurt him as badly as he had hurt her when he had all but organized her marriage to her current husband. She still remembered when Yamamoto had told her that she was too young to entangle herself with such an old man as himself - that she had a whole life ahead of herself. He said that she would regret it if he were to allow them to be together. Yet she had raged against him, challenged just like many times before. But this had been one thing where Yamamoto hadn't budged even an inch.
So now she was married to a man she didn't love while her most admired person held her wedding bouquet. A soft laugh escaped from her throat; it came out all strangled as she looked at him. Even now when she felt all hurt, she couldn't help but admire him. He truly was one of a kind.
"It would have been enough. Just standing next to you, like Sasakibe-san…it would have been enough," she whispered, yet Yamamoto merely stood there all stoic, making her look down at the floor.
"But I couldn't have trusted that. I couldn't have trusted myself," Yamamoto admitted, making the bride merely shake her head as she looked at him bittersweetly.
The moment was then already gone as her new husband came and quickly pulled her along with him, telling the other guests were waiting for them. With an aching heart, she followed him, tasting her own salty tears while she felt the temperature lower drastically as they headed away from Yamamoto.