Window
I would like the spring to come. It's still cold, there isn't much of snow, and these remains of it are almost grey, not white, as the snow should be.
Anyway, it was an amazing winter… meeting Him, and all those meetings. Although I've gone nowhere on the winter holiday, it was great. Strange, but wonderful. I feel as though I would live in a dream. A good dream.
There's still that fear that all dreams must end someday.
I don't want to think about it. My friends always say that I can't stop thinking of problems for myself. They're right in some way, but I'm just constructed this way, cannot change much. :)
Something tells me to look out of the window. It just appears in my thoughts in some moment. I'm sitting on my bed, reading something, calm jazz comes to my ears. It's cool. Peaceful afternoon, first from a long time.
The warrant becomes more and more clear. I'm perplexed myself, but curious. I walk up to the window then, deflect the curtain.
It's Him. He standing down there, in front of my appartment block.
A black mark on this snow getting grayer everyday. He looks somewhere on the side, probably at this group of people quarreling about some trifle.
I take a deep breath.
After that I get myself together as quickly as it's possible, I shout to mom that I'm going out and the door close behind me. The lift slides down. I nod to the receptionist and I'm gone.
"Is it safe?" I ask him.
"What?"
"Meeting outside, where we can be seen?"
"Does that disturb you?"
"It's you who should be bothered"
"Yes. And?"
I smile. Witty, that is.
"Did you find yout why do I have those dreams?"
"Not yet. But we're trying"
I look at the watch.
"Gee, I didn't know it's that late. I shouldn't be outiside"
"What is it?" he says perplexed.
"I have a test tomorrow. I must study, you know. I have some problems with my grades at school"
"Which subject?" he asks, apparently not-caring.
"Chemistry"
"Show me"
Have I mentioned being more and more surprised? I really should stop this, I may have a heart attack some day… We go to the stairs (I wonder what will the receptionist think, but Snape seems not to be concerned with it. Probably he will hex him, at least that's what I think…) and wait for my mom to go out. Then we go to the flat.
"You're going to help me?" I still don't quite believe in it.
"I'm going to see if I can explain you something"
"That's helping"
"Call it whatever you like" he shruggs and takes my chemistry manual.
Must I say that the next day I wrote the test perfectly?
But coming back to that afternoon, after killing me with chemistry (which is definitely one of my less favourite subjects, but not the least, which is physics) we start one of these chats of ours, that usually are started with some question of mine. Today it is:
"What is magic?"
"Theoretically or philosophically? I believe that your writers and poets have write something about that topic…"
"Just answer, don't mock. What is magic for you?"
He thinks for a moment. I love to watch him, when he's really wondering about something. He looks so serious then.
"… A mystery. And a source. An ability of perceiving things"
I don't think so really…
"Why do you look so surprised? It's all, really. It means that everything is possible. Some people are made to see things other way than… other people"
"Muggles"
"Muggles" he repeats "But there are also people like you. You could see things for the first time as they really are"
"Like?"
"That maybe I am a crow sitting here on the chair and talking with you, but I managed to persuade to you that I am Severus Snape, the Potions Master in Hogwarts and that's how everyone sees me"
I like what he says. But still, I think he mocks me.
"Or maybe I'm not even here… You see, the most important is that word 'maybe'. That's how magic works. Besides, there are many kinds of what you call 'magic'."
"And that would be?"
"Wand magic. Potions. Arithmancy. Divination. It's all magic. But the real magic is inside of the sorcerer. And you have magic inside too"
"Me?" I ask, surprised "I'm just a Muggle"
"Even Muggles have a little bit of magic in themselves, it's only a matter of their memory about that. And you, women, have a very special kind of magic you do. Look at your flat – you have red ribbons"
I laugh. Yeah, I have red ribbons on every door in the flat. And inside beds. And my mother has one always in her pocket. Mom and I did that when Mr. S. was scaring us that he'd come back. He didn't, of course. But there was that fear. So we made that ribbons, so they would keep him on the distance.
***
Looking through the window as he walks out of my flat hets pretty annoying. I would like him to stay…
At that moment he turned his head up. Gosh, I hope he didn't hear that! It's getting really weird… He's gone. I can think whatever I want.
So, it's getting weird. I would really like to know what it's all about. Why does he have to "protect me". I have stupid scenarios in my head, on eis worse than another… but all mean nothing but an adventure. That I dream of.
Should I worry? Or is it just this part of me that my friends always tell me about? I always worry too much.
***
Today I got my chemistry test. Full punctation.
What a beautiful day…
A song for today: Queen "It's a beautiful day"
(A/N: Simple, but I like it. More of mystery later. Review, please!)