Muggle Movies 2: The Chamber

Part Seven: Lots of Winking

DRACO: (checks watch) Where the bloody hell have Granger and Little Weasley gone?

RON: (Shrug) Dunno.

HARRY: More importantly, why do you care?

DRACO: I just do, okay?

HARRY: Not buying it.

RON: Oh, give it a rest you two. Have you noticed all the drama and havoc that is happening on the screen there? That large thing in front of you that plays moving pictures? Yeah? Okay, then watch.

DRACO: (sits angrily in silence for a moment) They've been gone for a while.

HARRY: Yes, about ten minutes. Very long time. (looks at him suspiciously) Why are you so worried?

DRACO: (sneer) I am not worried, Potter.

RON: WATCH THE MOVIE!

SNAPE: I didn't think I'd ever say this, but would you two just listen to Weasley?

Ron: Oh, that'd be a cheerful visit. Hello, Hagrid, tell us, have you been setting anything big and hairy loose in the castle lately?

DRACO: (Snickers appreciatively) That was quite good, Weasley.


RON: Thank you. (shock, awe, horror) There's a very long pause there, like none of us know what to say.

DRACO: I think that's why there's a long pause there.


RON: Oh. Right.

Harry: What's that you've got there, Hagrid?

DRACO: (snort) Way to change the subject, Potter.

Hagrid: Hello, Neville.

Neville: I don't know who did it, but you've got to come. Come on!

DRACO: (muttering) Great big lump.

Harry's room is in ruins; things strewn about all over the place.

Ron: Whoever it was, they must have been looking for something.

Harry: They found it. Tom Riddle's diary is gone.

DRACO: DUN DUN DUN!!!!!


DUMBLEDORE: (calmly) Draco.

DRACO: Sorry.

Harry and Ron exchange glances, trying to hold back laughter. Whether they were laughing because of what Draco said, or the fact that he got in trouble, is unknown.

PANSY: OLIVER!!!!!!!!!!!!! (looks around frantically for Ginny and Hermione) They're missing him!


Hermione and Ginny, as if on cue, burst back into the theater; perhaps they had heard Pansy's shriek before. They rush to their seats, their faces flushed; it looks as if Ginny has been crying.

PANSY: Right on time! LOOK! He's even hotter than before when he was on!

HERMIONE: (seriously) I don't…think…that's possible.

PANSY: Oh, no, it is.


DRACO: It definitely is. (Ron and Harry stare at him). I get hotter each time someone sees me, as well.


PANSY: (patting Draco's hand condescendingly) Yes, you do, Draco.

Oliver: Well, that too. Professor McGonagall?
McGonagall: This match has been canceled.

Oliver: You can't cancel Quidditch!

HERMIONE: Oh! Look how sad he is!

GINNY: I would really like to give him a hug.

PANSY: (gleefully) I'd like to give him more than that!

All the girls burst into quiet giggles; the boys stare at them oddly. The teachers continue to ignore them, probably feeling it's best to let them get on with it instead of bothering to stop them.

McGonagall: You and I will find Mr. Weasley. I think there is something you should see.

DRACO: What's happening?

RON: This is when Hermione got petrified, I think.


HARRY: (looking curiously at Hermione to make sure she's alright) Yeah, it was horrible.

HERMIONE: Not nearly as horrible as those blasted Muggles cutting out my most important scene in that last movie.

RON: You're STILL going on about that? (rolls eyes)

HERMIONE: You would be, too, if it were YOUR scene. And YOUR shining moment.

RON: Well, luckily it's not. All my shining moments are in the films. (huffy breath)

HERMOINE: Oh, do shut up.

DRACO: Right on.

HERMIONE: You shut up, too.

DRACO: (seriously) Make me.

HERMIONE: I just might.

DRACO: (wiggles eyebrows, grinning) Well, alright, then.

Harry: I think it's time to get my dad's old cloak out again.

DRACO: (miserably) Yes, let's rub that in my face some more.

Harry: Hagrid, are you okay?
Hagrid: I'm fine. I'm fine.

GINNY: (Sadly) Poor Hagrid.

Ron: That's dad's boss, Cornelius Fudge! The Minister of Magic!

DRACO: An idiot if I ever saw one.

DUMBLEDORE: Now, now Draco.

SNAPE: He's only speaking the truth, Headmaster.


McGONAGALL: Be that as it MAY, he shouldn't be saying it at all. He has to be respectful of his elders.

DRACO: How did you know I wasn't talking about Weasley?

The teachers all exchange looks of varying degrees of curiosity.

DUMBLEDORE: Because you would have said it with more of a sneer.

SNAPE: It was obvious you were speaking of the Minister.

Draco sneers, laughs and turns his attention back to the movie.

HARRY: Your dad is such an arse.

SNAPE: Language.

McGONAGALL: (mimicking him) He's only speaking the truth.

DUMBLEDORE: (clears throat) Severus. Minerva.

Ron, Draco, Harry, Hermione, Pansy and Ginny all laugh silently.

DRACO: (laughing) Fudge has no idea what's going on. That's not unusual, but still. He probably thinks everyone around him is going mad.

HARRY: This is the first time I agree with you.

RON: I don't think that it is.

HERMIONE: No, you've agreed with him before.


HARRY: Kill me now.

DRACO: With pleasure.

Harry sticks his tongue out at Draco; Draco merely shrugs.

Ron: Spiders? Why can't it be follow the butterflies?


Everyone in the entire theater laughs; more prominently is Ron.

RON: I'm so witty.

DRACO: (rolls eyes) Sometimes.

HERMIONE: (raises an eyebrow) You're awfully out of character with that.

DRACO: (shrug) I've got to change it up once in a while. I wouldn't want people being able to guess what I was going to say before I even say it. (wink)

HERMIONE: Don't wink at me.

DRACO: (wink)

HERMIONE: Draco.

DRACO: Yes? (wink)

HERMIONE: Stop it.

DRACO: You know you love it. (wink)

HERMIONE: (giggles) I don't.

DRACO: (wink) Yes you doooooo.

GINNY: I am so disturbed right now.

PANSY: Me, too.

RON: You two are? I think I need a barfing cap or whatever they're called.

HARRY: Barf bag.

RON: Right.

DRACO: (Winks) We should take this outside.

HERMIONE: (stops giggling; looks at him sternly) No.


RON: Have you got something in your eye?

DRACO: No.

RON: (reaches towards him) Come on, let's have a look.

DRACO: (bats his hand away) I do not have anything in my eye, Weasley! I'm macking on your girlfriend.

RON: (odd look) She isn't my girlfriend. (sits back in seat) Macking? What?

DRACO: (sigh) Never mind.

Ginny gives Hermione 'a look' which causes Hermione to blush quite deeply. Draco winks at her again, this time with more gusto.

RON: You must have gotten something in your eye. Let me look.

DRACO: Stop it, Weasley.

RON: I'm only trying to help.

DRACO: Well, don't.

RON: Well, I won't, then.

DRACO: Good.


RON: Fine.