Terror Incognito
By Ktrenal
The One And Only Chapter

Summary - There's an evil force in the Shinra Building, a plague of beings known as 'Mary-Sues'; perfect, beautiful beings that conceal a deadly secret. Can Reno and Hojo work together to defeat the menace, before the Mary-Sues take over the entire world?

Content warnings - Reno's language and cynicism. Mary-Sues.


It was a beautiful day in Midgar; the sun was shining, the birds were singing, the relief teams were digging through the remains of Sector Seven in the vague hope that someone had survived, and the muggers were murdering their way into their victims' wallets, as if a handful of Gil would buy their passage out of the Slums. Children played in the streets, only to be crushed by an oncoming truck unable to stop as its worn-out brakes failed, sending it careening with wanton abandon into the front of a weapons shop.

Actually, the birds, if there were any in the city, weren't singing, but choking in a tuneful manner, their lungs filled with the polluting smog that hung over the city like an ominous cloud. The smog blocked the sun too, so that even those on the plates couldn't actually tell that the sun was shining up above. So far the only living thing the relief teams had found in the rubble that was Sector Seven was a cat, and the muggers weren't having a lot of luck, since everyone had started carrying weapons to protect themselves during the terrorist threat. The weapons sold by the shop that had just been crushed by the out of control truck, in fact. Which could be considered a bonus for the muggers, if they thought to stop and think about it.

It was a nice thought though, wasn't it? That maybe the world was, at least for a while, a better place. That thought in itself warranted a snort of laughter, and the one the thought belonged to almost joined the birds, although choking on coffee rather than pollution.

A heavy hand slapped him on the back as he coughed, before finally managing to clear his lungs. Tempting fate, his hand reached for his mug of somewhat cooled coffee, and he took a deep mouthful of the offending drink. It had tried to kill him, so he was going to punish it by drinking it. That, and his cynicism demanded some caffeine to placate its righteous fury. Or something.

Caffeine was anything but placating, but it was the principle of the thing that mattered. He wasn't supposed to drink coffee, he knew. He'd be in trouble for it later, when his hyperactivity lead him to do something silly. But what else could be expected of him while he was cooped up here in the office? He was perfectly capable of completing missions, injuries or not.

Alright, so between his left arm being broken, and the bones in his right hand being fractured, he couldn't actually hold a weapon, and it was going to be a while before he could walk without limping. Added to that, he felt constantly nauseous, due both to the concussion from a blow to the head, courtesy of Tifa Lockhart, and the Mako infusions that had been required to save his life. His body had been too badly injured to be able to pull through without the Mako boosting his vitality.

Now, instead, he got to walk around looking like a fucking flashlight, his eyes were glowing that much. He didn't care what Tseng or Rude said, he was glowing like a drunken materia, and he was pretty sure he looked stupid. He'd always laughed at the SOLDIERs with their glowing eyes, after all, and now he had a set of his own.

"You alright?" the familiar voice of his co-worker and friend Rude asked him, regarding him with concern.

He simply nodded. "Just thought of something funny..." Reno responded, frowning slightly. They'd been walking on eggshells around him, and watching him like he was about to disintegrate into a pile of glowing sludge. That was pretty much what he felt like, admittedly, but he was more than capable of looking after himself. At least, that's what he'd like to believe, the more cynical part of his mind pointed out, with its usual disgusting rationality and logic.

The other Turk simply raised an eyebrow at him, questioning his response, almost as if he was curious to hear just what had been funny enough to cause his red-haired companion to almost choke to death on the coffee he wasn't even supposed to be drinking in the first place.

"I was just thinking about that truck this morning..." Reno explained after a moment, grinning at the bald man. "You know, the one that lost control, ran over some kids, then demolished that new weapons shop in Sector Six. It was all over the news." Yes, it was a sad state of affairs when he got so bored to be trapped in the office that he watched the news; the Turks were always informed of important events directly. Straight from the horse's mouth, usually, considering that Shinra was usually behind everything that was news-worthy.

It was behind the news channels too, for that matter. Really, when it came down to it, if you delved deep enough into anything, you soon would come back to the world-dominating corporation. It wasn't any surprise that the executives were so innately arrogant; who in the world could stand a chance against them when they were at the root of everything?

Including evil. What the proverbial 'they' had to say about money being the root of all evil was clearly a lie. Shinra was the root of all evil, as far as Reno was aware. But, it was pretty much the root of everything, so the fact that evil was mixed in with that was something of very little consequence.

"You shouldn't be drinking coffee, you know," Rude reminded him, reaching to take the mug of dark caffeinated drink from his colleague's hand.

"Ow! Hey! Ow!" Reno objected, pulling his hand back and holding it close to his chest. "Hey! Don't take that! Have you any idea how much it hurt to actually go to the coffee machine and get that!" With his hand injured as it was, it made carrying objects more than a little difficult, and he'd been rather proud of himself to have been able to carry the hot mug such a distance.

"If you were drinking water, like the doctor told you to, you wouldn't have to be doing any carrying." That was the cool, calm voice of Tseng, indicating his disapproval at both Reno's consumption of coffee, and the fact that he was walking about more often than he needed to. It made Reno wonder why he'd been told to come into work at all, considering his boss evidently considered any form of activity beyond him at the moment.

A glance at his desk, overflowing with paperwork, gave him an answer, although not necessarily one that he really wanted to consider. Paperwork was for people who actually enjoyed remaining stationary for long periods of time, and Reno had never been one such person.

Fortunately, perhaps, he was saved from having to make a remark about how he would be drinking water if it wasn't so utterly boring as a beverage, not to mention how he felt silly drinking with the use of a plastic straw, by Elena's arrival in the room. The rookie that had 'replaced' him. Like that was happening. The moment Reno could walk properly, and handle a gun without dropping it, she was gone.

Reno was rather disturbed to note that the silly blonde was actually bouncing with barely controlled excitement. In fact, there seemed to be a kind of air of expectancy in the entire room, and he couldn't help but feel that he had, perhaps, missed something fairly significant. Their own fault for not telling him, he figured, casting his mind back to check that he hadn't been told about anything important coming up.

"Good. Now that we're all here, I will explain things, for Reno's benefit, since he was absent from the last meeting," Tseng spoke, his voice cool as always, even if he narrowed his eyes slightly in the red-head's direction. "Since it would appear that AVALANCHE did in fact survive the destruction of Sector Seven, and that Sephiroth, too, is alive and at large, we will be taking on some new recruits that have certain skills that will be of use to us. Also, they carry essential information, both about AVALANCHE and Sephiroth."

"Why can't we just interrogate them?" Reno asked, the warning lights instantly firing in his mind. They never just took on new recruits because of a minor crisis.

"Because we all know how you like to interrogate people, and they wouldn't be able to help us in that condition," the Turk leader responded. "Elena, bring them in. At least try to be polite, Reno. These are very important people."

There was a happy bounce from the blonde Turk, and she hurriedly left the office. Reno wasn't quite sure whether her enthusiasm was because of her crush on their Wutaian boss, or because she had fallen under the spell of these new 'Turks'. Even Rude seemed to be smiling, slightly. Well, Reno wasn't going to be so easily fooled.

The young women that entered were, to say the least, beautiful. Delicate features, and attractive figures with curves exactly where the often amorous young Turk liked them. Each of them were different, and unique, but ultimately far too pretty to be entirely real. Against them, even Elena, who Reno had to admit was somewhat striking in her own right, faded into a somewhat monotonous plain appearance.

"Now," a visibly smiling Tseng started, looking at the girls, and then over to Reno. "Now for some introductions. Ladies, this is Reno Fletcher, my second-in-command..."

The looks that the women gave him were enough to cause an instant reaction in the injured red-head, although he had the control not to vocalise it. In his mind, he found himself screaming 'Tseng, I quit!'. He wasn't sure why this was his immediate reaction to these girls, but there it was. He would study it later, after he got out of this room.

They were looking at him, smiling at him and speaking aloud their greetings to him, although Reno could also detect a hidden coldness, and a certain contempt. How was it possible for them to smile warmly, regard him with cool indifference, and glare at him with utter loathing, all at once?

"This is Delana," Tseng said, interrupting Reno's silent gut reaction to these strangers. He was indicating the woman close to him, an exotic individual evidently of Wutaian descent. Her black hair was sleek, falling in almost hypnotic cascades around her shoulders, while her dark eyes seemed like two pools of infinite blackness. She seemed to specialise in swords, as she carried several about her person. "As Sephiroth's childhood friend, she can offer us vital information about his intentions and movements, as well as a look into how his mind works."

The second woman was introduced as Kelia, a slightly younger girl with long brown hair that was pulled into a loose, but efficient braid. Her eyes were of a haunting green colour, and glowing slightly. Her facial features were less exotic than Delana's, giving Reno the instant impression of someone who was Midgar-born. She was, as explained by Tseng, the long lost sister of the Ancient, Aeris Gainsborough. Like her sibling, she was of the Cetra, and carried with her a white materia.

Then came Katria, or 'Kat' as she preferred to be called. Her origins were unknown, but the fact that she was Rufus Shinra's childhood friend told Reno all he needed to know. Someone that the new President had decided to give a job to, and so had placed her into the Turks. But no, that wasn't it. Apparently her fighting skills were beyond compare, and far exceeded what any of the current Turks could manage. The locks of auburn hair that fell around her shoulders, and her amazingly bright blue eyes didn't come as too much of a surprise to Reno.

"And here is Sarana. She is the daughter of Vincent Valentine," Tseng said, indicating the fourth new Turk. This dark haired woman was evidently an expert with guns, and looked very much like her father, whom Reno was familiar with, if only through casual looks through the records of previous Turks. Her gaze, like Valentine's, was cold and calculating, and her eyes, against all probability of genetics, were blood red.

Finally, there was Rena, the name alone being enough to allow hatred to flare in Reno's mind. She was a red-head, too, with ice-blue eyes to match his. It was more than he felt he had to tolerate when his gaze dropped lower to notice the nightstick holstered to her waist. If he didn't know better, he'd say Hojo had been experimenting with clones again. Of course, this Rena was wearing her Turks uniform perfectly, and her red hair was neatly tied back. He didn't even hear what Rena's origins were; he'd stopped listening.

The advantage of being injured was that he was allowed to feel ill. The advantage of Mako infusions was that sudden dashes to the bathroom to throw up were considered perfectly normal. And the advantage of being Reno was that he knew when to take advantage of these two facts. "Sorry... don't feel so good..." he explained as he made a hasty retreat from the office, pushing his way forcefully into the bathroom that adjoined the Turks' private part of the Shinra building.

Reno kicked the door closed behind him, and locked it. This too wasn't too unusual; as his colleagues had discovered often enough recently, he didn't like people watching while he spewed his guts into the toilet. Despite the fact that he knew this wasn't Mako related, he did find himself throwing up, dropping to his knees on the floor in the corner of the bathroom.

He felt sick, but not the nauseous illness caused by his recent Mako infusion. This was something else, something he'd felt only once or twice in his life. And never would he ever admit it. It was fear, almost, something that the young Turk had very rarely felt at any point in his life, and never to such a strong extent. His fear had, on occasions, made him feel physically sick, but had never been severe enough to actually cause him to cough up his last meal. This was something else entirely.

He might have been more comfortable with it if he could have found a rational reason for this strange explosion of terror in his mind. It wasn't just the fear, though. It was boiling hatred, and absolute fury for the invasion of these... people. These women. These strangers. Into the Turks, into his life. Other than Elena, no new Turks had been brought into the ranks since he himself had been recruited.

But that wasn't it. He certainly didn't feel threatened by their presence, not in the same way he did by Elena. When it came to that rookie, he couldn't help but worry that she'd turn out to be better than him, and replace him permanently. It wasn't the case with these women though. He didn't know what they were, but he knew they couldn't be human, and couldn't be normal.

Evil.

That was it. That felt right, like it was the truth. But why did he think that? On the outside, they seemed perfectly fine. They were pretty young women, good with weapons and having some skill, not to mention possessing of interesting backgrounds. But Reno had always been one to look beyond the surface. His appearance was a deception, and so he always sought to find similar deception in others.

These girls were evil, he knew it. He couldn't define how, not yet, but he knew it with absolute certainty. But, if he was right, then why didn't anyone else see it? His colleagues certainly didn't, and the fact that one of them, Katria, was the President's girlfriend, it was enough to indicate that Rufus also had been taken in by their outward beauty.

A knock at the door caused him to jump, and it was followed by the voice of Rude, filled with concern. "Reno? Are you alright?"

He hesitated for a moment or two, searching through his mind for an adequate response. He needed more time to figure out what was going on here. And he had to stay away from them. "Yeah..." he responded, allowing his voice to take on a deliberately hoarse tone. "Feel really sick... gonna stay here..."

"Perhaps you should come out, and get some rest," the bald Turk suggested from the other side of the door.

Now, Reno couldn't allow that to happen. Those women would devour his soul while he slept, or something like that. It was what evil beings did, after all, especially since he was on to them, and they probably knew that he knew. And he knew that they knew that he knew. Or something.

"I will... just..." he started, before deliberately forcing himself to evacuate the remaining contents of his stomach, wincing as the bile brought up by his retching burned the back of his throat. Better a sore throat than having his soul devoured by the true evil of the world, however. And if he sounded like he was still being sick, Rude would leave him in peace.

"Call if you need any help," Rude said, before moving away from the door.

At least, that was what it sounded like to Reno. But he couldn't be too certain. Such sounds could be simulated, and he wasn't about to rule out that possibility. It was clear that his friends had all been compromised by this menace, and so he couldn't trust them. They would try to lure him out into the clutches of the evilness. And he could not allow that to happen. For the moment, he would have to assume he was the only one left in the building at the very least that was aware of the true nature of these women.

He glanced around the bathroom, searching for options. Clearly, staying locked in here was not a suitable course of actions. Sooner or later, Tseng and Rude would knock down the door and come for him. So he had to find a way out, one that would take him somewhere safe, if such a place existed. Once he was there, he could find a way to deal with this threat that was clearly far greater than both AVALANCHE and Sephiroth together.

Although he often performed missions on his own, and often preferred to work solo rather than as a unit, he couldn't help but feel a little insecure knowing that he was completely on his own with this. There would be no backup if he made a mistake, no help if things went wrong. The fate of the whole of Shinra, perhaps the world, was in his hands.

Well, didn't that just make him the fucking hero? He'd have to go hug a couple of trees after this, just to complete the image. He'd get medals, and a nice plaque for the wall, stating to all who cared to look that he'd saved the world from the ultimate evil. Yeah, right, like that would happen. Like he even wanted that to happen. He was no hero, and he knew it. This could be considered just another day at work. Weird things happened all the time, so he was used to it.

Admittedly, nothing quite this strange had happened in a very long time. Not since the occasion where one of Hojo's experiments, a sentient carnivorous plant, had escaped, and spent three weeks in the air ducts of the building before anyone managed to figure out what was happening to employees working in lonely offices. Most of the desk workers had taken to moving about the building in groups of three or more, since it was only the solitary employees that disappeared.

But this particular threat was something more. Turks were amongst the most level-headed and sane people in the whole city. Well, that wasn't entirely true. Evidence suggested that more commonly than not, any given Turk you might encounter was most likely at least partially insane, inclined to be somewhat neurotic. No one could kill people for a living without becoming a little strange. But, possible insanity aside, Turks were the least likely to be caught unawares, or fooled by a disguise.

Therefore, if this evilness had his colleagues under its spell, then it was likely the rest of the building had fallen victim to it as well. Whatever it actually was, since the exact nature of this threat was a little difficult to determine, given the relatively small amount of information that Reno currently had available to him. That was one thing he was going to have to discover. The best way to eliminate a threat was first to discern its nature, and then find its weaknesses. And then use those weaknesses against it, in order to annihilate it with extreme prejudice.

And such violent action was fully justified in this case; these creatures were attempting to steal his friends away from him, and so the naturally possessive Reno considered full retaliation a perfectly normal response. Again, that was a Turk thing. The obsessive way in which a Turk would pursue vengeance could be counted as a neurosis in itself, and was it not said 'revenge is a dish best served by a very pissed off Turk'?

"No. Revenge is a dish best served by me," Reno muttered under his breath, before pulling himself to his feet, and then climbing up onto the white ceramic toilet. The memory of the carnivorous plant had given him exactly the escape he needed, and so once he was certain of his balance, which was a little hazy to say the least, he pulled the cover from the air duct, and scrambled inside, wincing as he was forced to rest some weight on his injured hand. Crawling on three appendages didn't exactly fill him with enthusiasm.

Really, he reflected, he shouldn't have been too surprised that the fate of the entire building would now come to rest on his injured shoulders. Things like this always happened when he wasn't in any condition to deal with them. Even if he found the weakness required to kill these evil women, it seemed unlikely he would be able to pull it off. They were, as Tseng had pointed out, much better in combat than any of them, and while Reno had never let such things bother him before, he wasn't even able to effectively handle a weapon at the moment.

There would have to be another way, definitely. But first, he needed to discover how far this threat had spread, and his need to feel as if he wasn't totally alone made him wish to find someone else who was unaffected by the evil. With this in mind, he crawled a short distance through the ducts, looking through each opening he came across until he found one that opened out into an empty corridor.

He pushed the grate open, and jumped down to the floor, looking back and forth with suspicion even as his body rebelled against this rough landing. This was definitely going to push his recovery back by a week or two. But at least he'd still be alive to actually recover, and his friends would be alive to hear him complain about it. And hear about it they would. This was all their fault for allowing themselves to become ensnared in the web of evilness.

Hearing footsteps approaching, Reno hesitated for a moment before starting to amble along the corridor, aiming to look as if he were merely limping his way to the coffee machine. If the whole building truly was compromised, then maintaining an innocent look, as far as he was capable of such, would help him infinitely. The evil would come after him if he obviously appeared to be on to them.

"Reno! What are you doing out here?" an all too familiar voice asked him, and he turned his head to catch sight of Elena walking quickly towards him. "I thought you were sick."

"I'm feeling a bit better now, but I need a drink," Reno explained, continuing to walk, even as his colleague fell into step beside him.

Elena gave him a speculative look. "You're jealous, aren't you?"

"What?" The accusation caught him by surprise, and he paused in his steps to stare at her.

"You're not sick at all. You just don't like the idea that they're better than us," she explained. "You're jealous because you're not Tseng's favourite anymore."

"That has absolutely nothing to do with it!" Reno responded, albeit a little too forcefully. That had been a hit below the belt, especially considering it did touch a little on his fears. He knew full well that as the most successful Turk recruited in the past five years, he was definitely a favourite of the Turk leader, even if he did hold a little less favour these days, now that Tseng knew him better. But it was a sore point to think Tseng might actually permanently lose patience with him now that he had Elena, as well as these five personifications of evil, all of whom were probably better Turks than he was.

Probably.

That was an important fact that had to be remembered. Elena might be closer to the Turk ideals, but Reno was pretty certain that he had better instincts than she did. And the five evils didn't count. They were not Turks. It was just that no one but Reno seemed to realise this yet.

"Yeah, I think you are jealous. You're scared that you're gonna get fired, because you don't have what it takes," Elena taunted.

He frowned at her. She was only saying these things because she was under the spell of the evilness. The Elena he'd become familiar with was a little more respectful than that, if only because she didn't want Tseng to think her immature. "For your information, rookie, if I wasn't injured right now, I could take you so easily. And, I could totally whip their asses too." There was no question about who he was referring to.

Alright, so it was probably blowing his cover of innocence, but Elena already was aware of his reaction to them. At least those parts of his reaction that he cared to let her see. They could all view his instinctive response of hatred and loathing for the strangers that had no right to be within the ranks. They didn't have to know anything else.

"Sure, Reno. When you come to your senses, let us know," Elena said, giving him a scornful look. "Tseng wants us to work well together, so we can deal with AVALANCHE and Sephiroth. Maybe you should get off that high horse of yours and stop letting your jealousy stop you from working."

"You're only saying that because you're under their spell. I forgive you 'Laney," Reno said, before walking into the nearest office and pushing the door closed behind him, and leaning against it. This was a lot worse than he'd expected, and a lot more difficult than he would have imagined.

He felt at a loss, trying to think his way through this problem. He was intelligent, he knew, but was used to having someone there to listen as he bounced ideas around his own mind. And sometimes, he just needed someone with a higher intelligence than his own to tell him what to do, and this was one of those occasions.

Reno glanced around the office he'd entered, recognising it instantly as Scarlet's. Experimental weapons lay strewn over the floor, although there was a certain order to the chaos. He had enough experience with the head of the Weapons Development department to know that despite her appearance, she was something of a genius when it came to weaponry. Years before, she'd taken an idea he'd spoken of while drunk, and produced a weapon of it. He'd been rather surprised when she'd given it to him, a form of gratitude for the inspiration. That was where the electromag rod had come from, and Scarlet had held a special place in Reno's heart since then. He wouldn't have considered her a friend, and certainly not a lover, despite having shared nights with her in the past. But the red-head was always one to recognise talent when he saw it.

Scarlet was here, but she wasn't behind her desk. Instead, she stood a little off to one side, watching as another woman worked on the designs that lay haphazardly over the antique wooden desk. It was another evil, Reno could feel it, and he wasn't surprised when both women looked up at him.

"Reno, what a surprise to see you. I was hoping you'd come down. Zanara has some absolutely wonderful ideas, and I instantly thought of you. That weapon of yours could do with an upgrade, couldn't it? Especially after that unfortunate Sector Seven incident! Kya ha ha!" The laugh only made the whole situation that much more terrifying.

"Uh... you're prolly right. I'll think about it. Got an errand to run. Just thought I'd stop in and say hi," Reno responded quickly, forcing his voice to stay calm, despite the panic that hovered in the back of his mind, sticking its tongue out at him and waving its tentacles around to get his attention. He was not going to panic. He was a Turk, and the only one left in the building who was still in his right mind. Therefore, he had a responsibility. Hell, he'd better get one heck of a bonus for this.

He bolted out of the door, ignoring the pain that flared through his body as he did so. There were times when a Turk just had to run on pure adrenaline alone, and this was one of them. The force of terror sent his heart into racing in his chest, pushing the blood through his body with greater intensity. And with fear came the instincts. The trained instincts that made him such a fantastic Turk. The instincts to fight until he no longer could, and even though he was near his limits now, as long as he had the ability to keep going, he would.

He was one with the adrenaline, letting it rage through his system as he bolted down the corridor. This wasn't panic, still, even though he didn't quite know where he was going. If he kept moving, they couldn't find him or catch him. He'd lead them on a nice long chase around the building, and hopefully lose them. They would have to forget him then, and he could form a counterstrike against them.

Reno skittered to a halt as the corridor met a junction, splitting off in two directions. One direction would lead to offices, and eventually back to the Turks Lounge. He didn't want to go that way. The evil had taken a firm hold on this floor of the building. Perhaps he would have better luck on one of the upper floors? Security generally increased the higher one went, and although this floor was fairly close to the top, there were others.

Now there was an idea. The floor above this was the laboratories, a place Reno usually avoided whenever he could. But, he realised with a start, if anyone was going to be able to resist the evilness, and find a way to destroy it without blowing up the whole building, it would be Hojo.

The scientist disturbed Reno. Not that the Turk was afraid of him, but there were things that man was not meant to play with, and Hojo toyed with them all, tempting fate and quite possibly tempting the wrath of whatever gods were up there watching them. But when the ultimate of evils was loose in the building, playing with the proverbial fire was perhaps what was required. Reno could only hope that he wasn't the one that got burned.

With this in mind, he broke into a run again, taking the direction that lead him to the stairs. Everyone used the elevators these days, and that, he hoped, included the evil women. The stairs would, with any luck, be totally deserted, allowing him free passage to the floors above. The last thing he wanted was to get into a fight with the evil. Not until he knew how best to send it back to the hell it had probably come from.

He lowered his head, pushing himself into a faster run, leaping up the stairs three at a time. As soon as this was over, he was going to sleep for a decade. Until then, he could push himself to the very limits. And a sense of urgency drew him on, pulling him to the labs with a sense of intensity, like it was vital that he arrived there quickly.

Reno recognised his own instincts, of course, and knew well enough that when he felt like he should hurry, it was usually unwise not to. But, with the attitudes he had encountered so far from his colleagues, it was entirely possible that Hojo was in trouble. Assuming the scientist hadn't fallen under the spell of the evilness.

The sight he encountered as he burst into the lab was that of Hojo backed up against the wall, threatening two women with what appeared to be a scalpel. Both women were strikingly beautiful; one was dark haired and dark eyed, and dressed in a white lab coat, while the other was a few years younger, clothed in absolutely nothing at all. Her bright eyes suggested she was of Cetral origin, and so was perhaps one of Hojo's experiments.

Perverse as the justice was that the scientist would be destroyed by one of his own test subjects, backed up by a renegade lab assistant, Reno knew he couldn't allow this to happen. If for no other reason than it was included in his job description to protect all the department heads from any danger they may encounter, regardless of any personal feelings. After what had happened between Hojo and Valentine, the science department and the Turks had held a mutual loathing for each other for the past thirty years.

Differences aside, Reno's job was to help Hojo, and it was the only way to destroy this evilness. For himself, the Turk was willing to put aside his hatred for the benefit of survival, especially when he despised these strangers far more than he could ever hate Hojo.

"Alright! Freeze! Back away from the mad scientist!" Reno called loudly, moving towards the trio at a loping run, aiming his gun at the lab assistant. It sent spasms of pain through the injured hand, and he knew he wouldn't be a good shot with his right hand; adequate enough, but with an increased chance of missing and killing Hojo instead. Which, given the circumstances, would be a very bad thing, and he never thought he would ever be in a situation where he would have admitted that.

"How can we freeze, and back away at the same time?" the lab assistant asked coolly, turning her gaze to study Reno with contempt. "It appears we have a Turk, Kolina, one that has somehow escaped our comrades. How could that be, I wonder?"

"I dunno, how about because I'm not dumb enough to fall for whatever shit it is you're pulling? I know what you are!" Reno responded fiercely, taking another step closer, and keeping his aim trained on the lab assistant.

"He seems to be injured, Alana," the 'specimen' Kolina responded, also regarding the red-head with a contemptuous glare. "He won't prove to be a challenge. Shall I take him, while you deal with the scientist?"

Alana nodded, and turned her attention back to Hojo, who kept his hold on his scalpel which he waved threateningly at the renegade lab assistant as she stepped closer to him.

"I said FREEZE!" Reno yelled at her, his temper flaring. Normally he could control it easily enough, but these strangers were a threat. They threatened his colleagues, who were his friends, his family, and the single thing that kept him happy, despite the world in which he lived. And by their presence in the building, they threatened his livelihood, and his job. On a very basic level, these evil creatures, these beasts, menaced the very core of his being. And he was not going to tolerate that.

He pulled the trigger, trusting that his aim was good enough to eliminate the evil that advanced towards Hojo. He didn't even pause to check the scientist himself hadn't been injured by the shot. He whirled instead to attack the experiment girl, firing again with the gun. The trick would be to kill her before she got too close to him, because he knew he couldn't withstand a full attack from even a kitten at the moment.

It was kill or be killed, and those with the fastest reflexes survived. In this particular instance, it was Reno that won, if only because he'd opted for attacking with speed rather than accuracy. It wasn't the kind of fighting that Tseng approved of, but in a situation like this, where he knew he couldn't perform a perfect attack, a flurry of flawed blows would serve a better purpose.

Kolina dropped to the floor, her body ravaged by multiple bullet wounds tearing through her fragile, perfect frame. Taking a calm step towards her, Reno gazed down at her, and with an angry snarl, used the remainder of his bullets on her. There were times when excessive violence was needed.

As he reloaded his gun, there was a whimper from Hojo, who was backing away from the other evil woman, Alana. Despite having received a gunshot straight through her perfect head, ruining her absolutely spotless facial features, she was crawling towards Hojo, reaching for him.

"What the fuck?" Reno asked, more the world in general than anyone in particular. He quickly finished loading his gun, and shot the crawling body, keeping up the fire until again he'd emptied the weapon of ammunition, and the body of Alana remained motionless.

"Well, that was just... freaky. Uh... no offence intended," he said, nodding to Hojo. Reno couldn't help but notice the scientist was now waving the scalpel at him. "Hey, much as I hate to admit it, we're on the same side here. These things are evil, right? We agree on that?"

Hojo responded with an affirmative nod. "Of course. You realise I had to be cautious, Turk," the scientist said, although he still watched Reno with suspicion, even as he lowered his makeshift weapon.

"You got an incinerator here? I doubt these two are really dead," Reno said, prodding the body of Alana with his foot, wrinkling his nose a little in distaste.

"I do. Over here," the scientist responded, picking his way across the lab, and gesturing to a large dome in one corner. He released several catches, and pulled open the heavy metal door of the incinerator, letting a blast of heat surge forward, washing over both scientist and Turk.

Reno crouched down, lifting Alana's body with a grunt of pain, before carrying her over to the incinerator and tossing her into the roaring flames. True to the name of the dome, the deceased, or possibly merely unconscious form of the evil woman was disintegrated. Satisfied, the young red-head headed back to Kolina, this time merely dragging her along the floor. Lifting heavy things was obviously a little outside of his abilities at the moment.

"Do you know what these things are?" he asked conversationally as he arrived at the incinerator, lifting Kolina with more than a little effort, and hurling her into the inferno.

Hojo closed the door, and locked it tightly closed, as if concerned that somehow the two would still survive the blaze within the solid metal dome. "Yes, I believe I do. They were 'Mary-Sues'."

Blinking, Reno gave the scientist a questioning look, wondering whether the heat had melted Hojo's brain, or something similar. Mary-Sue was hardly a suitable name for something so evil.

"They have another name, but it's been lost into the mists of time. Mary-Sue is the name by which they are now known. They are, as you've seen, very dangerous. They carry the forms of perfect human females, and emit pheromones that make it impossible for anyone to resist them. Slowly, they take over, and when everyone is under their power, they devour the souls of those they have ensnared. There are records of entire towns, even cities, falling victim to the Mary-Sues. Perhaps even entire civilisations, but we'll never know," Hojo explained, his voice taking a low, near inaudible tone. He seemed to understand that if they remained quiet, it was less likely they would be noticed.

"Where did they come from?" Reno asked, recognising that it was a somewhat stereotypical question to be asking, given the circumstances. This seemed like something out of some cheap horror movie. Which probably meant Hojo was due to die in a horrible, painful way sometime before the end. Probably too much to hope for, all things considered.

"Nobody knows. They simply appear, at first in small numbers, perhaps one or two, and then, before anyone realises what's happening, hundreds more arrive. The two in here, I don't know how they came to be here. They simply arrived, and it was as if they'd always been present. None of my assistants recognised the danger," the scientist said.

"I had the same problem. Tseng hired them for fuck's sake, and Rude and Elena seem to expect me to accept this. Had to escape through the air ducts just to get here. But... why are we the only ones not affected?" Feeling the tension of the situation, Reno ran a hand raggedly through his hair.

"For myself, I have sufficient enhancements that rendered their pheromones inoperable. I imagine you are immune because of your recent Mako infusion, and your injuries. Your body is treating every foreign substance as a threat, as I'm sure you've noticed," Hojo replied, evidently fully aware that the Turk hadn't been able to keep a meal in his stomach for very long in the last few days.

"Yeah. So what do we do? We gotta kill these things. I don't got much ammo left, though. Enough to kill maybe one or two more," Reno responded, moving to sit on a nearby table, trying not to think of the atrocities that had probably been committed there. He was exhausted, and in more than a little pain.

"You Turks only think of shooting and explosions, don't you?" Hojo asked, a little snidely as he sneered at the red-haired Turk. "I can find another solution, but it will take time. In the mean time, you should rest. I have something here that will revitalise you a little. Enough to allow you to carry out the destruction of the Mary-Sues. You are in no condition to succeed in your current state."

Reno gave the scientist a dubious look as a vial of a strangely blue liquid was handed to him. "What kind of something?" he asked, suspicious of anything that came from one of Hojo's test tubes. It would probably mutate him or something.

"Don't be so paranoid, Turk. I despise you and your kind as much as you surely hate me. But we have no choice but to work together. If you fail, then my work will be destroyed, and if you succeed, but die in the process, it will be on my head. For that reason, I will help you. It is only helping myself in the process, after all. Drink up, and then get some sleep."

He still felt suspicious of this blue liquid, since there remained thirty years worth of distrust between Hojo and the Turks, but the logic of the moment prevailed, and Reno was capable of seeing the truth behind the man's words. the scientist was insane, definitely, but certainly intelligent, and the Turk could respect that. Pulling the stopper from the vial, he sniffed the liquid within, before taking a cautious taste.

To his surprise, he found it somewhat similar to an elixir in taste and texture. It was a smooth, cool liquid that seemed to fill him with a pleasant warmth, all the while relaxing him as well. He knew, too, that its effects would kick in fully if he rested, and unlike an elixir, the revitalisation was only temporary. He'd be in a worse condition when the effects wore off, but Reno could deal with that. He didn't need the energy for long. Just long enough.

He closed his eyes, feeling the blue liquid working its way through his system, and shifted his position to lay on the table. Not the best bed in the world, but he wasn't about to complain. "Wake me up if any of those things come in here..." he drawled slowly, even as he drifted to sleep.


In another part of the Shinra Building, a meeting was taking place. The highest ranking Mary-Sues had gathered together in the office of Rufus Shinra. There were the five that had infiltrated the ranks of the Turks; Delana, Kelia, Katria, Sarana and Rena, and also the one that had taken over the Weapons Development department, Zanara. In addition, there were others from varying parts of the building, a total of ten Mary-Sues in all. The leader was, without a doubt, the strawberry blonde who had assumed the persona of Rufus Shinra's sister, Katana.

"There has been no report from Alana and Kolina," Delana began, speaking seriously. She was, perhaps, the second-in-command, and handled many of the more complicated issues involved with devouring the souls of an entire city. The Shinra Building was, for all intents and purposes, a city all by itself. Later, they would move on to Midgar.

"They were sent to deal with the scientist, weren't they?" Katana asked, looking up from her current activity of painting her nails.

"Yes. We believe the renegade Turk may have interfered. Like the scientist, he appears to be immune to us," Delana replied, frowning slightly. "The two of them together may threaten us."

There was a snort of laughter from Zanara. "Hardly. The Turk is injured, and the scientist is incompetent."

"If you're so confidant, take a couple of the girls, and go down to the laboratories. Check the scientist is dead, and then track down the Turk. I want them both dead," Katana snapped, fixing Zanara with a sharp glare.

"I'd like to deal with the Turk myself, if I may?" the Mary-Sue known as Rena asked. She had been the one that had been intended to seduce the fiery Turk, bringing him into their control. She was, to say the least, a little put-out to have been denied her chance.

"Of course, Rena. Go with Zanara then," Katana said, nodding as the two turned to leave the office. After a moment, she dismissed the others, but called Delana back to her. "What are the chances that these two humans are still alive?" she asked her second-in-command, her voice quiet, but curious.

"A good chance. The Turk knew us the moment he saw us, and managed to escape despite our efforts to make him listen to his colleagues. Evidently, he trusts his own instincts more than he trusts his friends, and that can be a dangerous thing. The scientist, too, seemed to recognise our nature when he found Kolina, but he is of a calmer nature, and so hasn't acted until today. Zanara may have no faith in the skills of the scientist, but I do. He can find a way to destroy us, of that I am certain. The Turk will help him to deliver that destruction," Delana responded, keeping her voice level and calm.

"You're certain they are a threat to us, then?" the leader of the Mary-Sues asked.

"That is without a doubt. I would like to observe how they deal with Zanara and Rena...?" Delana requested. She didn't even consider the possibility that it would be the two women dealing with the scientist and Turk, because she knew already that they stood little chance. She knew also that Alana and Kolina were probably dead.

The Mary-Sues had always relied upon the fact that none were able to resist them, and so when there were people who recognised their true nature, there was a definite threat. Especially when it was a combination such as a scientist with the ability and insanity to provide the perfect destructive weapon to use against them, and a trained killer who was inclined to treat strangers on his home territory as a personal insult.

It would, therefore, take greater skills than those of Zanara and Rena to eliminate these two humans. It was the kind of task that would require Delana, in all her perfection and glory.

Katana nodded. "Go then. Report back to me with how they fare."

"Yes ma'am," Delana responded, bowing her head slightly to her leader as a mark of respect, and then leaving the office, taking a direct route down to the labs that lay several floors below. This should be interesting to watch.


He drifted slowly into consciousness, feeling the warmth and contentment that resulted from a restful sleep. As Hojo had predicted, the blue liquid in the vial had done its work, leaving him feeling very refreshed. Even the nausea and pain in his injuries and diminished, and Reno felt no doubt at all that he would be able to deal with the menace of the Mary-Sues.

Slowly, he shifted position, a little too comfortable to really want to get up, although he knew he had to. He felt half-asleep still, and very much at peace with the world. But a sense of movement by his side snapped him out of this contented feeling, and a hand played gently across his chest, before moving up to trail along his neck, and stroke his cheek gently. What the fuck...? He'd had no idea Hojo had such feelings for him.

But wait. The hand was female. And female meant... "FUCK! Get it off me! Get it off me! Get OFF!" he snapped, fully returning to consciousness now, and forcing himself up into a sitting position. Next to him lay the Mary-Sue known as Rena, who seemed to have misplaced her incredibly neat Turks' uniform, replacing it with some clothing that left very little to the imagination. She was stroking him, and smiling warmly at him.

There was only one response to this, and Reno felt fully justified in using it. He screamed. Loudly. And then he swore, pushing her away from him, and rising quickly to his feet, snatching his electromag rod from the holster at his hip, and with a deft movement, turned the weapon on. Electricity crackled from the end of it, and content that it was fully charged, he jabbed it fiercely into Rena.

She laughed. She just laughed, giggling in a girlish manner that suggested his attack had merely tickled her. "Now now, Reno. You didn't think I'd come here without protecting myself a little first?" she asked him, waving a finger below his nose.

Again, Reno swore, pulling his weapon back only to try whacking her over the head with it. Not exactly a graceful or coordinated attack, but it was a matter of function over form. Even so, beating someone over their skull was an incredibly crude way to kill them. It was worse than the wild gunfire he'd used to terminate the existence of Kolina. And in the case of this particular thing, blows to the head didn't seem to be all that effective.

He reached for his gun, but even as he brought the weapon up to start firing at his assailant, a strange pink mist was sprayed liberally over her. Where the droplets touched her skin, she began to melt, and after a moment or two, during which realisation set in, she screamed loudly, reaching forward to clasp her hands around Reno's neck.

The Turk struggled against her, despite a reluctance to so much as touch her disintegrating flesh, but recognising that when someone was trying to strangle him, it was better to fight as much as possible before he lost consciousness. Fortunately, he didn't have to struggle long, as the pink mist had taken its effect; before he'd really had a chance to warm up to the battle, Reno found himself facing a puddle of pink goo that pooled on the floor before him, smelling faintly of cherries.

"Well... that was odd..." he commented, poking the end of the electromag rod into the goo, and then lifting it up to study it closer.

"It's edible, you know," Hojo said, crouching down by the puddle to scoop the pink substance into a glass beaker. "I was rather surprised to discover it was cherry flavoured."

"Is eating it really a good idea?" Reno asked, frowning a little as he watched the scientist spread a small quantity of the stuff onto a cracker, and then eat it. He was sure it should be the other way around; usually it was him trying to eat something, and his companions trying to make him understand that it wasn't safe.

"Of course. I've tested it, and, of course, I designed the spray to convert the Mary-Sues into an edible organic substance. They feed on souls, you see, and so when they are disintegrated, they become a kind of edible Mako. Goes very well with crackers," Hojo explained as he took a bite from his biscuit. "Would you like one?"

Reno stared at him like he was insane. "Uh... no thanks." There was no way he was going to eat crackers and edible Mako formed by the disintegration of evil women that devoured human souls. That was too weird even for the adventurous Turk. "So... that pink spray is what kills them?"

"Yes. I wanted to wait until you were fully rested, but as you can see, we were attacked. I suspect there's others around now, too, but that's your field of expertise, not mine. We will have to make do with what we have," the scientist answered.

"How am I meant to kill possibly thousands of Mary-Sues with just one spray?" Reno asked. It wasn't in his nature to question plans like this, but Hojo was obviously lacking in the sanity department, and so it was up to the red-haired Turk to be the voice of reason in this.

"One squirt from the can is enough to kill up to five Mary-Sues, if they surround you. Nevertheless, as soon as you are ready, I will release the substance into the air ducts, so it will spread through the whole building. This will kill the weaker Mary-Sues. All you have to do is destroy the stronger ones." That, disturbingly, seemed to make sense; perhaps Hojo wasn't quite so mad after all.

Or maybe the tension of the situation was simply going to Reno's head, so the plan actually began to make sense to him. But then, it was logical, wasn't it? The pink stuff in the air conditioning would annihilate the majority of the evilness, and it was only the leaders of the group that Reno would have to deal with. Those ones that were too strong to be killed by the small quantities of the substance in the air ducts. And with the weaker ones killed, the young man would have an easier time getting to the leaders.

"Okay, we'll do that. The leader's going to be up in Rufus' office, isn't she?" Reno asked, able to predict that much without much difficulty. "If I remember correctly, there's a separate air conditioning unit for that floor of the building..."

"That is true. Any Mary-Sues there protecting their leader, you will have to deal with yourself. Which I'm sure you're more than capable of, Turk," Hojo said, handing the spray can to Reno.

"As soon as I leave, close the doors and lock them. When the building is secure, I'll call," Reno said firmly, casually stepping into the role of the authoritative Turk. Without another word, he wiped the pink goo from the end of his electromag rod, holstered the weapon, and after taking the spray can from Hojo, he slinked from the lab, moving with purpose towards the elevator.

As the door slid open, Reno found himself face to face with one of the evil women, a Mary-Sue. It was one he recognised, too. The dark-eyed Wutaian known as Delana. His eyes narrowed at her glaring. "You chose the wrong Turk to piss off," he said darkly, lifting the can and spraying her in the face. There was a certain tone to his voice, almost evil and sadistic; this was vengeance at its best. Revenge always was a dish best served by a very pissed off Turk, and that was certainly a suitable description for Reno at this present time.

He watched with a hint of amusement as Delana clawed at her face and eyes, tearing at the pink substance that burned through her perfect features. The sight of her face actually melting was a horrific one, and would certainly take its place in Reno's mind as one of the worst things he'd ever seen. But that aside, it was pretty funny, wasn't it?

When the agonised screaming continued for a little longer than he felt it should, Reno sprayed Delana again. This would be one of the stronger Mary-Sues, it seemed, since she appeared to have a greater resistance to the spray than Rena had. But even so, against the double dose Delana had little chance, and soon the floor of the elevator was host to another pool of cherry flavoured pink goo.

Reno scowled at the puddle, and stepped over it into the elevator. With any luck, there would be sufficient gratitude for his efforts in saving Shinra from this dreadful fate that he wouldn't have to clean this mess up. Although, with that said, it seemed likely that Hojo would eat most of it, which the Turk still couldn't quite accept as being completely healthy. The dissolved remains of the ultimate evil weren't supposed to be edible.

He gave the buttons in the elevator a speculative look before pressing the one for the top floor. He would take out the leader and then work his way down, slaughtering any survivors as he went. That seemed like the best way to proceed, and it had been a while since he'd been able to indulge in such violence. Tseng always approved of much more controlled actions, and so killing rampages, while infinitely amusing, tended to earn him disappointed looks and disciplinary charges. The former was definitely the worst of the consequences.

After what seemed like only a few seconds, the elevator brought him to the top floor, and the doors opened with a soft chime and a quiet swish. Reno didn't hesitate, even for a moment, before leaping out of the glass elevator into the President's office, holding the spray can high. "Alright, nobody move!" he ordered authoritatively, sounding very much like he was commanding a raid.

The Mary-Sues in the office, a group of six clustered around Rufus' desk where a seventh one sat, very much in the manner of a queen, regarded him incredulously.

"It seems our renegade Turk has arrived," the queen Mary-Sue said, her voice seeming almost to be mocking him. "And he's wielding a can of insect repellant, I believe."

"Believe what you want," Reno drawled, his mouth twitching into a rather amused smirk as he regarded the Mary-Sues, the enemy. "You're all going to die." That was said with such confidence, too. The kind of tone that could only be expected to come from the mouth of a Turk like him. It was the casual statement of what the future would look like, coming from the one who would bring about such a future. They could all just look into his eyes and see their impending doom, if they wanted to. It mattered little to him. It wouldn't change anything now.

Gone was the fear he'd felt earlier, the terror and revulsion that had held him for a while. Now there was simply a fiery Turk set on a course of destruction, and his confidence oozed from him, radiating around the office in the manner only a Turk could manage. Nothing in the world could seem as naturally self-assured in any situation, regardless of its absurdity. And threatening a collection of beautiful women with a spray can full of pink stuff did seem pretty absurd.

"You didn't really think you could actually succeed in taking control of this building, did you? You weren't under the deluded impression that you had the intelligence and skills to get past me? I hope not, because you're going to be sadly disappointed. As if anyone can actually out-think the Turks," the red-head remarked, his words flowing in a lazy, gloating drawl. Just to make sure they knew he was going to totally kick their far too perfect asses.

With that said, he stepped forward, raising the spray can, and walking calmly towards the group of Mary-Sues around the table. It took a great deal of effort to ensure that he limped as little as possible, despite the fact that it was obvious enough that he was fighting against injuries. It was the appearance of the thing, and under the effects of the blue stuff Hojo had given him, it was much easier for him to ignore the pain he felt with every movement. It wasn't good for him to be forcing himself like this, but a few more minutes was all he needed.

"It looks like our renegade Turk wishes to fight. Sure you're up to it, boy?" Katana asked, waving a delicate hand covered with beautifully perfect skin to gesture at the red-head's injuries.

"Of course I am. Would I be here if I wasn't?" Reno asked, and then laughed lightly. "We both know the answer to that, of course. And we both know how this is going to end."

"Yes. With your death. Destroy him," Katana ordered, and instantly the six evil women around the desk walked towards Reno, their manner menacing and threatening, and very much the same way Alana and Kolina had trapped Hojo. But the young red-head wasn't a weak scientist, easily intimidated by those he behaved in a threatening way. He was a Turk, the one who did the threatening.

"Stop," Reno ordered, his tone of voice taking a fierce, almost feral snarl. Taken by surprise, the Mary-Sue's hesitated, pausing in their steps and looking back towards Katana. They could recognise the controlled ferocity of the highly territorial Turk .

"You. Come here." Again, the command was fierce, and Reno was gesturing to one of the women he recognised; it was Sarana, the apparent daughter of Vincent Valentine.

She gave Katana a questioning look, and then when the queen nodded, she stepped forward, preparing to attack Reno; clearly, the Mary-Sues had taken his orders to mean that he wished a fair fight, a one-on-one battle against his opponents. Showed how much they knew, really. Like Reno believed in a fair fight, especially when he was on top. And he always had the advantage, no matter what anyone else thought they held over him.

Like her 'sire', Sarana specialised with guns, and so her hand hovered by her hip, where one such weapon was holstered. As if that would be a fair fight, considering Reno carried only a spray can. The Mary-Sue didn't really stand a chance, did she?

"You know, it's the wrong time of day for this. Aren't shoot-outs supposed to happen at high noon? Now, I'm guessing you gotta be the bad guy, or bad girl as the case may be. Because this building is my place. So, I guess that makes me the sheriff, doesn't it?" Reno commented, smirking at the thought. It was a totally ludicrous idea, on the whole. The Turks were, or would be if anyone actually dared to try it, the ones that the sheriffs would want to be shooting. Unfortunately, since the good guys were supposed to win, challenging a Turk to such a match would be pointless; no law enforcement on the planet had the skill to take out a Turk.

"What are you talking about?" Sarana asked, momentarily confused. For all their beauty, Mary-Sues certainly weren't the most intelligent of life-forms.

"Your death!" Reno responded, laughing lightly as he lunged forward and sprayed Sarana liberally with the substance in the spray can. He didn't stop there, either, knowing better than to stop attacking once he'd got started. He was outnumbered, and not in the best of condition. Therefore, logically speaking, it made the most sense to wipe out the opposition as quickly as possible. So he kept spraying, even as he whirled around to turn on the Mary-Sues that moved to attack him.

Whenever they aimed a blow at him, he leapt backwards and retaliated with additional spraying. In an ideal world, he would have had two cans of the pink stuff, one in each hand to maximise the damage potential. But Hojo had produced only one can, and he didn't quite have the best use of one hand, let alone a pair. Next time the Mary-Sues invaded, he would be better prepared for them.

So much for these women being better than him. He was totally wiping the floor with them! Their power lay solely in the fact that they could make people believe they were more powerful, and when that failed, they had nothing but words with which to fight him.

"Very impressive," Katana commented, regarding Reno with what seemed to be mild respect as he stood, panting slightly, in the middle of six puddles of pink goo. "I suppose, now, you are going to destroy me? Because, I have a proposal for you."

He looked at her, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. "I'm not going to let you go," he told her firmly.

"Oh, no, no, no. I wasn't going to suggest anything like that. As you must already know, I am the queen of the Mary-Sues. There is another race, however, the Gary-Stus. You, Reno, could become a Gary-Stu, and rule this world by my side. You could be king, and I would be your queen," Katana explained, rising from her seat and walking towards him.

She trailed her delicate hand over his cheek, guiding his gaze to follow her face, before moving her hand to run across his hair, and then down his neck. "I... could give you anything you want... everything you want. All you have to do is join us, join me."

As she spoke, he found himself feeling light-headed, and strange, as if his conscious thought was slowly drifting away from him, leaving him as warm putty in her hands. And it would be so tempting, wouldn't it? All the power he could have, and all the wonderful things she could do for him. Together they would rule the Planet, and everything on it. All he had to do was submit his will to her, become hers, to do with as she wished...

"No!"

Reno pulled himself back into reality, shaking his head, and stepping back away from Katana, snarling in revulsion as her hands reached out to him once more. He wouldn't be controlled by her, and certainly wouldn't become one of them. He might not have been the best, most perfect person in the world, but he knew it was his faults that made him who he was. He wouldn't be Reno if he didn't have a bizarre mixture of optimism and cynicism, or had a tendency to get over-enthusiastic when it came to violent missions. He just wouldn't be him without the borderline alcoholism, and rather casual approach to professionalism. This was him, faults and all. Being perfect would be boring.

"You can go to hell," he told Katana, raising the spray can again and pushing the nozzle button to start spraying. He'd use every last bit in the can if he had to, just to ensure she was dead, and would stay as such.

Katana let out a piercing shriek as she was sprayed, and in retaliation, lunged at Reno with enough force to push him to the floor, with her pinning him down. Still he sprayed, ignoring the way the bright pink slime from her melting face dripped down into him. It was worse than being covered in blood, but he pushed that to the back of his mind and kept spraying her, even as she clawed at him, trying to inflict on him as much harm as she could before she finally died.


Bright lights, all around him and above him. Bright enough that they hurt his eyes, so he closed them again. A rhythmic bleeping in the background was enough to tell him where he was. Hospital. Wonderful, just wonderful. Doctors were, as far as he was concerned, worse than Hojo. At least the scientist didn't pretend that he wasn't insane.

Reno cast his mind back, searching through his memories to come up with some logical explanation for this, but he found nothing. He assumed, as the most likely explanation, that he had lost consciousness fighting Katana, and had been brought here. That did, in fact, bode quite well; it meant it was likely that the Mary-Sues had all been destroyed, and everyone in the building was free from their control.

He groaned softly, realising dully that the leader of the evilness had certainly added to his injuries. He could feel the wounds on his chest, likely caused by her perfect nails tearing rabidly through his clothes and into his skin. The heat radiating from that area of his body indicated perhaps an infection, too. Likewise, there was a burning sensation across his cheekbones, a little below his eyes. And to top it off, he felt completely and utterly exhausted, like every little bit of energy he'd had in him had been drained from him.

"I thought I saw you move," the voice of Tseng said, the sound coming from a short distance away; evidently the Turk leader had been waiting for him to wake up.

Reno forced his eyes open, and turned his head to gaze at his superior. "I'm awake... wish I wasn't..."

"You've definitely over-exerted yourself this time. You've been out for eight hours, before you ask," the dark Wutaian told him, moving his chair to a point closer to the bed. "Would you like to explain what happened?"

"You don't know?" Reno asked, struggling a little to form the words. Damn, he really was very tired, but also too awake now to return to sleep. Eight hours of unconsciousness had to be a new record for him; generally even his subconscious didn't want him remaining in hospital for any longer than was absolutely necessary.

"No. My memories of the last few days are hazy, and the same applies for everyone else. Except Hojo, but his story is rather... odd to say the least. The President was hoping that you had an explanation for the pink substance found in multiple locations over the building, and the fact that several employees have disappeared."

"It was the Mary-Sues. They had everyone under their spell. You even hired five of them into the Turks. Hojo and me were the only ones that were unaffected. We killed them with this pink stuff... and it made them dissolve into that goo," Reno explained, although suspecting that Tseng would think him insane for this.

"That was pretty much what Hojo said. We found you in the President's office, covered in the pink substance. I want to have a full report from you, but that can wait for a while. You need to rest first. And, it looks like you're going to have some interesting scars from this," Tseng commented.

"Dunno if that's a good thing or a bad thing..." Reno said with a light laugh. "No one will ever believe me when I tell 'em where I got 'em from. I mean, would you believe me?"

"I do, but only because of the evidence I've seen. I doubt any of your girlfriends will see it in the same way, however," the Wutaian Turk pointed out. "I imagine this experience won't have affected your relationship with the Midgar whores?"

"Nah, not really..." the red-head responded with a smirk. "They're no where near perfect. But seriously, next time I see a perfect girl, I'm not gonna believe she's actually human. Anyone that's perfect is probably out to devour my soul, right?"

Tseng simply laughed. "Quite probably, Reno. Get some rest. It sounds like you're going to have a very long report to write."

"Ugh, don't remind me," the younger man complained, watching as his boss returned the chair to its former position, and moved to leave the room.

When he was alone once more, Reno shuffled about in the bed, finding a comfortable position and closing his eyes once again. Of all the experiences in his life, this had been amongst the most bizarre, and if anything, it only heightened his cynicism. The evilness had taken a form that had seemed so perfect, almost too good to be true. And the thing Reno had to make sure he remembered about that was that it was a valid observation of life. If something seemed too good to be true, then it probably was. Anything that seemed perfect just had to have some evil lying beneath it, waiting to devour your soul, or at the very least give you some scars to remember them by.

"Nobody's perfect..." Reno muttered under his breath, smiling slightly as he settled down to sleep. Well, that much was true. Katana was nobody now, and so were all her Mary-Sue friends. And they always had been nobody, hadn't they? They were a force of evil that had taken forms that were larger than life in order to impress and ensnare those around them.

But the whole thing made Reno feel pretty good about himself, and banished any fears he had of being removed because Elena might perhaps be better than him. For all his faults, he'd saved the day here, and while he was disgusted to even consider the concept of being a hero, it proved his point. Those that were perfect had been destroyed by the most imperfect individuals in the entire building; Reno and Hojo. Nothing was perfect, and when it came down to it, perfect was nothing.


Disclaimer - Reno, Hojo, the Turks, the Shinra building and all other aspects of Final Fantasy VII belong to Square Enix. The Mary-Sues belong to me, but I don't want them! You can have them! Please...? I'm giving them to you!

Author's Notes - This... did not turn out as I intended it to. This was, if you can believe it, supposed to be a humour fic. However, it just insisted on being much darker, and so I went with it. Not a vast amount of plot happening here, but this wasn't intended to be on the same plane was Ouroboros. This was just a bit of fun, and a rant too, I guess.

This all came about because a few days ago, while looking for a good story to read that I hadn't already read twice, I stumbled across far more Mary-Sue stories than I felt should exist in the entire universe. In fact, only a very small quantity of OCs have ever managed not to be Mary-Sues; no matter how well written, most OCs that have a significant part in the story are Mary-Sues. This includes only those OCs that travel with the main characters; I've never seen a bad guy/girl fall into this category.

This is probably because a Mary-Sue, by her very nature, is supposed to be a character that everybody loves and looks up to, because she's perfect. The bad guys, by default, have to die at some point in the story, or at least be sufficiently beaten so they run away and hide for a while, then come back for the sequel.

So, I guess you could say I was frustrated with the quantity of poorly written OCs out there, and that's probably why this piece didn't turn out as light-hearted as I intended.

Now, see if you can spot the bits I wrote while I was drunk?

Oh, and don't forget to review, because you all know I love those.