DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything pertained in this fic so why sue me?
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AUTHOR'S NOTES: Yow, well, this is my first attempt at crossover… reviews are welcome ^_^
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Neon Genesis Evangelion/Naruto Crossover
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1: The Day Shinji will Receive New Training…. duh
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Gendo Ikari was watching the video footage of the Third Child and his son Shinji Ikari being mauled by the Second Child Asuka Sohryu Langley inside their apartment's bathroom, taken without prior acknowledgement from their guardian and the major of NERV Tactical Operations Division. The cause of "necessary punishment" as screamed by Asuka on the video footage was that she caught him jacking off in front of her, moaning her name that caused him to overdrive in his sexual madness.
Although the video surveillance showed earlier before the imminent bashing was that Shinji was basking in the comfort of the warm water in the bathtub, enjoying life's best and not doing any perverseness mentioned before Asuka intruded suddenly, only wearing a towel around her and was about to dive bomb in the tub without her aforementioned material when she saw Shinji staring agape at her, mentally kicking himself for not locking the damn door.
"I wonder… since when did you have concern for your son Ikari?" Kouzou Fuyutsuki asked. Since reading the report about Shinji's upcoming unusual defense training from the jounins of… what was that again? He then looked at the report and searched the contents and found the answer he wanted, the Hidden Leaf Village. Since then he hoped that the commander was finally showing his concern for his son, the estranged Third Child.
At least Kouzou hopes so. Gendo was known to be skillful in deception and lies. He also has the abilities of a true interrogation officer (and torture) and was very good at it.
Gendo grunted softly and chose not to answer his question and instead asked "Regarding the Third Child's new training… is it yet under duly process?"
Noting with wry amusement, Kouzou slapped the folders into the commander's desk "The approval report was just sent in… or rather, just appeared on my desk with a puff of smoke. Yes sir, it's been approved by the Hidden Leaf Village's Hokage. Three jounins, as said by these reports, will be coming here tomorrow morning secretly…"
Fuyutsuki then asked "Why keep this training secret? Was it such a big deal to SEELE or to the government faction that the Third Child will be trained by the jounins of… what was that again?" He reached for the report he just placed to commander's desk a moment ago and scrutinized the contents, and then finding the sentence he wanted "…ah… the Hidden Village of Leaf?"
"Yes. I have come to a conclusion that the Third Child needs formal training to protect himself. If necessary, he will initiate offensive to the nefarious forces that are coming to take over him"
Gendo sweatdrops when he saw the video footage of his son now being kicked into his unmentionable, his hoarse girly-like screams followed by the maniacal laughter of his redhead companion echoing in the dark expansive office room of the supreme NERV commander.
"Or rather… the nefarious forces already taking him over"
Kouzou could only nod in approval while watching the video, idly wondering why the Second Child's hidden affection for the Third Child was through the means of cuts and bruises "Agreeable… especially since you paid the Hidden Village of Leaf's chief a very huge sum of money enough to feed the whole nation"
"I want every possible aspect of training to be taught upon the inept Third Child, so NERV being drowned in debt is irrelevant to my scenario, Fuyutsuki"
Kouzou gulped audibly. No wonder those people at the finance department are having a hard time tracking down those "questionable" accounts.
Gendo picked the report Kouzou placed in his desk and scrutinized the contents "So… the *ahem* jounins who would be teaching him for the whole month will be Uzumaki Naruto, followed by Haruno Sakura and lastly Uchiha Sasuke. Fuyutsuki, have you searched for their profile in the MAGI?" Gendo asked, wondering if the important people of Hidden Village have a profile or two. Something he can take advantage upon, he thought to himself.
"MAGI found them to be non-existent" Kouzou replied, which is true actually. He also tried to search the location of the Hidden Leaf Village, but not surprisingly MAGI came up blank.
Gendo nodded. Thought so… messing with people like them will end up with me hanging in the tree with a suicide note saying that I love Misato so much that I've setup my own Misato-surveillance room after Ritsuko's and Maya's… joke. He shivered, imagining those thoughts being carried out.
He hoped that Yui can't read minds. If she does, he will be already dead; his mush brains left hanging in Evangelion Unit 1's bloody right hand.
"As I believe so… Fuyutsuki?"
Kouzou looked at his former student, awaiting instructions. What now??
"Order Section 2 to divert all their priorities into monitoring the movements of the certain persons… that could prove to be detrimental to the Third Child's progress"
"Who are they?"
"The respective pilots of Unit 0 and Unit 2 and Major Katsuragi. Also include our agent Kaji Ryouji in the list as well"
"I see" Kouzou nodded "His rather sensitive eyes and mouth can relay information for both SEELE and Ministry of Interior" Since Kaji's arrival at NERV, he noticed that Gendo had been in the edge but still in control, using yet another information disseminating tool for his convenient use.
"And also place his two…" Gendo then became to rack his brain for that word. He knew that it is defined as a whole person you can trust and depend upon. Kouzou noted that Gendo was having a quite difficult task finding that term and nodded to himself in understanding, because he knew.
Because he knew that Gendo didn't depend on friends to trust, because he has no friends. Only enemies that are multiplying tenfold and waiting for the right time to overthrow his brooding rule at NERV as everyone's to-be-bashed-upon-favorite Bastard King, as said by the Gendo-hate fics.
"His two friends I usually see on the daily video surveillance reports?" Kouzou said, vouching for him.
"That is correct"
"It is already done, sir"
They both heard an intercom beep and Kouzou pressed the button "What is it?"
"Sir, there is a postman with a package for Commander Gendo Ikari" a man said on the other line.
"From whom?"
"It says on the label of the package that it came from the Come Come Paradise Bookshop"
"Ah…get it here" Kouzou said, nodding while Gendo smirked, his hands rubbing in delight. Since Gendo started to deal with the Hidden Leaf's village Hokage, the bookshop Come Come Paradise became a bargain intermediary between them, particularly since one of their sages actually manages the bookshop. That's when Gendo began to read the manga novels of perverseness with delight.
A moment later a postman entered Gendo's office. After Kouzou signed the delivery receipt he then left.
Gendo then enthusiastically opened the small box and found a note along with three unmarked scrolls along with the manga novels "What this?" he said, picking the note and reading it;
To Commander Gendo Ikari,
Please do not open the unmarked scrolls until tomorrow at 9 am. We would like to require our new student's presence first thing in the morning.
Naruto Uzumaki, Sasuke Uchiha and Sakura Haruno
"I see" Gendo softly said and showed Kouzou the note; while he picked one of the manga novels he ordered by mail and started to read.
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Morning came and first thing Shinji knew was that he was called to NERV headquarters. Maybe another round of tests or what… he thought dejectedly, absently rubbing his bruise in his side he acquired yesterday as well as dozens of others around his body. Why would Asuka want to hurt me that much? Am I really that pervert, that sex-crazed idiot that I was? Maybe… I was…
Shinji sighed. If Asuka was like that, he mused, then there is nothing he can do about that, unless he changes for the better and then standing up on his own feet to show Asuka who was the boss.
"Yes!!!" he shouted to the empty streets outside the window of the NERV issued Section 2 sedan to no one in particular "I'll show her!! I'll show her who her boss is!!! Asuka!! Wait for my revenge!!!..."
Unfortunately the energy he felt was suddenly drained from him due to his shouting and he slumped back to his seat.
"Maybe after 10,000 years…" Shinji said dejectedly.
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At the office of the NERV Commander, Shinji stood with his knees shaking, praying to whatever deities that are listening at him to get him out of this dark office of his… bastard father. He clenched at that thought.
"Pilot Ikari" Gendo steely said, causing Shinji to flinch for fear what would father do to him. Please don't kill me… he thought. If his father was about to kill him, at least he will order one of his men to do it because Shinji would kill his father first.
Shinji sighed at that farfetched thought. Maybe after 10,000 years…
"Y-yes?"
"As of today you will be put under new training effective immediately" Gendo said, while reading another manga volume.
"What… kind of training?" Shinji asked. Since when my father started to read?? He thought, noticing the manga's cover Come Come Paradise?? What's that?
Shinji suddenly blinked. Did he just see his father actually drooling?
"A different kind of training, you will see. Fuyutsuki?"
The Sub-Commander came forward, handing him the three scrolls.
"What time is it?"
Kouzou replied "Exactly 9 AM sir"
"Very well… Pilot Ikari?"
"Yes… commander?"
Gendo slowly stood up from his seat, placing the opened manga volume in his inside jacket pocket and handed him and Kouzou two of the scrolls, the other one on his gloved hand "On the count to three I want the scrolls opened, affirmative?"
"Yes father…"
"Yes sir"
Gendo then began the count, pausing to look at his subordinate and his son "One"
Shinji tensed, wondering what are these scrolls are for.
"Two"
Kouzou softly grunted and poised to open the scroll.
"Three"
Simultaneously they opened the scrolls. Suddenly a puff of smoke appeared and surrounded them. Shinji coughed while the smoke slowly dissipates.
And before them, three new persons just appeared in front of them.
"Hi guys!" a blond boy and a pink haired girl cheerfully greeted them while the other black haired one stood silently.
Gendo slowly came near and addressed them "I presume you are from the Hidden Village of Leaf? You used one of the variations of Kuchiyose No Jutsu technique" It was the same technique they used to summon Gendo in the Hidden Village of Leaf to close the deal between them and also not to know the location of their hidden village.
"Yes sir! Where's our student?" the blond jounin cheerfully replied, and then looking at Shinji who was still coughing due to the smoke "Is he the one?"
"Yes, he is" Gendo replied, and then turned to leave the office together with Kouzou "I leave him into your capable hands. Make sure by the end of the month he possesses the necessary knowledge and fitness to be able to pilot Evangelion Unit 1 effectively. Dismiss"
Without a word Gendo and Kouzou left the office, leaving the three jounins and Shinji.
"So Shinji Ikari, we meet at last" the blonde jounin said, then introduced himself and the other jounins he was with "I'm Naruto Uzumaki, that girl over there is Sakura Haruno and that dope over there is Sasuke Uchiha"
"Shut your big mouth" Sasuke and Sakura exclaimed, glaring at Naruto.
Naruto didn't seem to notice them and instead he put an arm around Shinji "So let's begin your new training with us now okay?"
"Uh… okay" Shinji replied, trying to figure out what the hell is his father planning at this time.
"Let's teach him somewhere but not here" Sakura suggested "That way no prying eyes will see him"
"That's what I've thought" Sasuke commented, already performing a hand seal "Let's go, I've saw a perfect place for him to train"
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Back into the Katsuragi's, also Ikari and Sohryu's, someone is bored
Frustrated that Shinji is missing (it's because she had no one to vent all of her frustrations… err… affection into) Asuka was bored, really bored.
Asuka was really, really bored. Where did Shinji now run into, when she needed him most??
"AAAAAAA!!!!!! BAKA SHINJI!!!! WHERE ARE YOU!!!!!?"
"He's not here" Misato calmly replied, stepping out from the bathroom with a towel around her and wiping her lavender hair with the other.
"Eh?? Where is he now?? At NERV??"
"Yes, some kind of training his father cooked up for him and said he will be away for a month, only to be called upon in case of an Angel attack. When I asked Ritsuko about it she says she doesn't know about it" Tch… as if you don't know Ritsuko Misato thought. Next time you'll give me "I don't know" answer I swear that I will grill you to death!!
Faraway from her apartment and into NERV Terminal Dogma, Ritsuko shivered, while looking at several Rei clones around her.
"Oh…" Asuka said dejectedly, sighing. Where are you Shinji? Why are you running away from me? Don't you know that I love you so much that I gave my only sole attention to you and you only?
Except that those "sole attentions" of Asuka involves beating Shinji while she "held" him in his neck with her teeth so that he wouldn't budge under her grasp.
No wonder people thought Shinji as pervert, seeing a couple of hickeys in his neck.
Misato's mind then switched into teasing mode from casual mode "Ohh! Missing Shinji already huh?"
"Tch… like I care anyway" Asuka muttered, feigning disinterest for the Third Child.
"Then why are you calling for Shinji huh? Do you really want him that bad?" Yep, wanting him bad so much that she'll have sex with him, like I care anyway…
Asuka glared at their guardian with contempt while allowing a couple of thoughts Misato was suggesting to creep into her mind "Misato, SHUT UP!!!"
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Somewhere around the outskirts of Tokyo 3…
"First things first" Naruto said, addressing Shinji "Learn to control your chakra"
"Chakra?" the Eva Unit 1 pilot asked.
"A mental energy. It is one of the energy sources every shinobi uses, another is stamina, which uses pure physical energy. Chakra can be converted from stamina so that it could be utilized and put into different uses" Sakura explained "Those different uses are Genjutsu, Ninjutsu and Taijutsu. Although Taijutsu is an exception here, because Taijutsu only needs pure stamina so there is no need for it to convert into chakra"
"I see… so how do I convert my stamina into chakra?"
"We'll get into that later on" Sasuke said "First thing you need to know is to control your chakra first and getting the energy not wasted, therefore putting everything into use. Remember, we got one whole month to train you"
"Can I ask a question please?" Shinji asked.
"Yeah?"
"Why… my father would put me into this new training?"
"So that you'll know the arts of self-defense and offense, as your father's reasoning to us. Actually when you are in our hidden village we would recommend your father to put you into academy and learn the basics, but since your father paid our Hokage a very large sum of money he wants us to rush you into becoming a chuunin level, at least" Sasuke explained.
"Chuunin level?" Shinji asked.
Sasuke sighed and looked at his two jounin companions. If only his father would put him into the academy and becoming a genin teaching him would be much easier…
Naruto and Sakura caught his gaze upon them and quickly understood. Shinji's father doesn't care if his son would die due to the rushing of things, but his father said that he had faith for his son… ah, well… that's what he explained to us anyway. Plus the whole village needs money damn it Naruto thought.
"Well… chuunin is…" Sasuke started to explain that went all night.
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Author has something to say: Well… err, my first time writing a Neon Genesis Evangelion/Naruto humor crossover fic. About that chakra thing, well, it is according to my vague understanding since I've only watched few of the Naruto episodes, so please forgive me if I have grammatical errors or I have some errors regarding my chakra explanation.
Bye Bye, see 'ya later.