One Good Reason
A "My Life as a Teenage Robot" Fanfic
Chapter Nine – Let's Get It On
The air hummed with the whirring of motors and the high-pitched whine of charging lasers. A series of loud metallic snaps rippled through the ranks of six-foot Cluster drones, as they deployed extra sets of limbs for combat. A blizzard of red markers swam in Drew's computer-assisted eyesight, as forty-one red labels reading THREAT popped up in his vision – as if he needed the nanobots to tell him that. The Cluster horde was on the verge of breaking into the Wakeman house to kidnap the doctor and the guys; after that, Vexus would use them to force Jenny to surrender herself. Unless. Unless, somehow, one gooey, spindly blob of silver pizza dough could stop them.
Vexus stood back from the action, annoyed that this little skirmish was even necessary. "Let's get this over with, shall we? Eliminate the android, and seize the doctor!"
Drew's body shimmered like the surface of an oil slick, and his chest heaved as he made one last attempt to calm down. "Ohhh, crappity crappity crappity crappity …"
The first row of Cluster drones charged. A pair of giant claws swung at him …
And missed badly, as his liquid body folded and twisted out of the way. Surprised and frustrated, three drones churned their arms through the air, swinging their blades at the evasive silver android; but it kept stretching, and dodging, and twisting out of their reach. Finally, after Drew had twisted himself into a surreal, inhuman pretzel, two of the drones coordinated their efforts, and sliced him through the waist. Both halves of his body fell to the ground with a moist thud. Four drones took aim with their antennae, ready to turn the irritating android into a charred cinder.
But to their amazement, he quickly liquefied into a large metallic puddle, which rippled like silver gelatin. One curious red drone leaned over to inspect the shiny pool … and was brutally knocked back, as a large silver-green spike lunged out of the puddle, and rammed it clean through the chest. The rest of the nano-goo leapt through the hole, and Drew oozed himself back into humanoid form on the other side.
Drew grew his arms into another pair of long, nano-edged blades, and swung them furiously at the next row of drones. These robots weren't caught by surprise, and they countered him with their own blade weapons. A robot swordfight briefly erupted in the middle of the lawn, and although Drew's perfect nano-blades were superior weapons, he was outnumbered and completely surrounded. His sensors told him that attackers were right behind him. A pair of blades sliced through the air, aiming for his head …
But Drew's head and torso split neatly in half, like a giant tuning fork, and folded out of the way. The attacking drone fell forward and planted his claw-blades directly through the chest panel of one of his comrades. In that moment of confusion, two silver-green stalks swung into the air, like a pair of scorpion tails, and sliced into another pair of roach-drones. A fresh pool of oil and hydraulics spurted onto the lawn, and a pair of severed drone-arms fell to the ground, twitching like robotic serpents.
The sound of shredding metal overpowered the clangs and swishes of swinging claw-blades. A Cluster drone had finally pierced the thick shielding on the front door. Drew looked back towards the house with alarm, even as a fresh wave of angry, frustrated drones charged his amorphous form. The drones swung their powerful robotic claws at the shiny goo …
And grabbed onto nothing. The metallic nano-sludge catapulted itself out of the mob, like a squirt of water from a fountain. With a thick, bubbling schlorrrp, the liquid slopped itself into android form, and Drew clumsily landed behind a yellow Cluster drone, just as it was about to peel back the front door. He grabbed its insectoid arms from behind, with his hands already shimmering in patterns of silver-green. The drone shuddered as its arms popped off at the shoulders, dissolved through by nanobots.
Drew took a quick moment to relax. Unfortunately, that's when the red drone beside him took aim with his laser. With a bright crimson blast, Drew's head vaporized into a cloud of powdery gray ash. The red drone grinned as it watched the headless android wobble for a moment … then, to its astonishment, the android turned towards him, and planted its fists on its hips. Its neck started to gurgle, and then a fresh blob of silver-green bubbled up, stretching and oozing until the silver android was whole once more.
"Hey, that was my head!" shouted Drew. "I use that!" He raised his arm to the stunned drone's chest, and a nano-edged spike shot through the thick metal shell. Then he quickly turned to shield himself from another group of advancing drones. Even as they hacked at his arm-spikes with their blade-weapons, he saw two more drones by the living room windows. They were carving a large circle in the metal plates with their lasers, and they were almost finished. Drew flowed into a puddle and rolled under the legs of the baffled roach-drones. With a whining schweerrp, a pair of arms sprang up, and grabbed a green roach by the base of its antennae-lasers, pulling them away from the windows.
Drew wrestled ineffectively with the roach as he morphed back to humanoid form. As he tried to rip off the drone's antennae, he placed his hand against the back of its head … and the drone went numb, its arms and antennae hanging limp. He didn't have time to wonder why, as more lasers screeched at him from a dozen charging roaches. He spun his inert drone around, using it as a shield. Man, what I wouldn't give to have a laser gun pop out of my elbow right about now. I could sure use a little cover fire …
The green drone suddenly perked up in his grasp, and came to full attention. Its antennae glowed a brilliant ruby red … and then it opened fire on the advancing crowd of Cluster drones. The densely packed drones took dozens of hits before falling back a few steps, confused at this apparent act of treason on the part of their comrade. A small smile started to grow on Drew's face.
The nano-computers! I can interface with electronics … just like the computer inside this ugly sucker's bug-brain here. A stunned yellow drone, standing a few feet away, raised its own lasers to attack – but Drew's arm shot out like a silver tentacle, and punched into the back of its short, rounded head. Now he had a Cluster puppet dangling from the end of each arm, pelting the remaining roach-drones with nonstop laser fire, driving them back away from the house.
"All right! This is sw-e-e-eet!" He couldn't help himself; he was getting a kick out of the bewildered looks on the faces of the Cluster attackers. "Check it out!" His Cluster drones stopped firing, then started to swing their hips … and sing a little song. The vicious insect warriors waved their arms in the air, in rhythm to the music. "The world ain't so big, it's just right …"
"ARRGHHH!" Vexus screamed from her perch atop the CNS news van. Her eyes were crackling with fury; she was this close to victory, and the only thing standing in her way was that … that bizarre silver idiot. The orb above her head glowed a furious orange. "All robots, converge on that silver android and wipe it from existence! NOW!!!"
There was still a hundred prisoners kneeling on the ground in five neat rows, surrounded by the corrupted SWAT droids. Up to this point, the police-bots were following their last orders – guard the human prisoners until they could be taken through the portal, back to Cluster Prime. But they weren't as important to Vexus as getting Dr. Wakeman. Now the robots turned their weapons away from the prisoners, and joined the remaining Cluster drones in a renewed assault on the lone silver-green obstacle.
"Still glad Jenny's not here, you nimrods?" Drew shouted at the prisoners. "Run! Go! Git! Amscray!" That was all the encouragement they needed. Ignored by the robots, the panicked mob bolted out of the yard and ran down the street, every one for himself.
The wounded army of roach-drones, bolstered by the twelve captured SWAT droids, brought their lasers to full charge and opened up a withering barrage on their target. Drew shook and shuddered under the rapid-fire impact of so many weapons at once. A lot of the shots were blasting into his two unlucky drone-shields, but he couldn't cover his entire body with just two robots. He winced as a pair of shots seared through his body, punching out a pair of six-inch holes. Okay, standing still and getting shot ain't much of a strategy. I've got to keep moving here.
He hurled the battered robot husks away, and launched himself in a random direction towards a group of drones, frantically trying to come up with ideas. His body stretched and twisted madly through the crowd, flinging his arms like whips. Another set of nano-blades grew and sliced through a pair of drones; then a laser blast shattered the blades, and they crumbled into a pile of fine gray dust. He grabbed onto a red drone with his feet, pinning it to the ground as his body turned into a silver battering ram. He landed two crushing blows to the drone's head, before a powerful punch knocked him away.
A yellow drone grabbed him from behind, holding him tight as four SWAT droids took aim with their weapons. Just as they opened fire, Drew's body expanded outward into a giant silver donut. The lasers passed right through the hole in the middle, obliterating the drone. The surreal silver-green form, looking like a piece of modern art, swooped over their heads in an arch. A long stringy tendril dropped down, and quickly looped itself around the necks of the police-bots. Drew had turned a piece of his body into an ultra-strong carbon-filament cable. Before the police-bots could react, the cable snapped tight – and popped their heads off, like giant pimples.
But then Drew felt six robotic claws close around his body, trying to pull him apart like a giant strand of silver taffy. He oozed and flowed, escaping from four of them, but the other two yanked hard, and snapped his body through the air like a rope. Loops of silver-green play-doh plopped down in a pile on the sidewalk, and liquefied into a metallic puddle once again – but the remaining Cluster drones pounced on him, and pumped his body with blast after blast of relentless laser fire. Drew could feel chunks of himself being vaporized into ash. He had lost about half of his body mass in the battle so far …
He squirted into the air, wrapping himself around a red drone's face. The drone clutched madly at him, trying to pull the silver-green blob away – but his comrades weren't going to take chances. The unlucky red drone jerked about like a marionette, as his Cluster brothers blasted it with their lasers. Then a shot to the chest catapulted it backwards, into the side of the Channel Four news van. With a horrific crash, the van flipped it on its side, and the red drone rolled into the middle of the street.
The Cluster forces had been reduced by almost a third – Drew had given them more of a fight than anyone had expected – but that fight was about to end. The drones and SWAT droids poured into the street, ready to finish off the remains of the shape-shifting android. The badly damaged red drone managed to sit up with a feeble metallic creak, and looked down onto its chest. It was covered with a large blob of silver-green molasses – an angry silver amoeba, shimmering with wild, rippling patterns of green.
To the drone's horror, the silver slime started to engulf its body. It clutched and grabbed with renewed desperation, trying to wipe off the expanding layer of metallic goo. Waving its arms in panic, it unleashed a robotic scream into the air, as its body, arms, and head dissolved into a shiny ball of paste. The other drones stared on in shock, and for the first time, a hint of fear registered on their faces. They were all soldiers, and were all ready to give their lives in the service of their queen. But it was one thing to be shot, or destroyed, or dismantled. It was another thing entirely to be eaten alive.
The blob of silver-green, now fully rejuvenated, once more oozed and stretched back into humanoid form. A pair of Cluster drones were standing only a few yards away; Drew's right arm shot out like water from a fire hose, and his fingers wrapped around a yellow drone's chest. With a gurgling schlorrrrp, a wave of silver ooze flowed over the next victim's body. The drone kicked and screamed like a wild animal, but it had no defenses against the ravenous little nanobots. They broke its shell and machinery down into raw materials, and absorbed its atoms back into Drew's arm.
He gave the remaining drones a wicked smile. "I guess robots are like potato chips," he chuckled. "You can't eat just one."
Then he jumped high in the air, and morphed his hands and feet into sharp claws – a silver predator pouncing on its hapless prey. A wave of terror swept over the robots, and they scrambled to avoid the attack of this freakish robo-cannibal. Drew landed on the backs of two green drones, puncturing their shells with nano-tipped claws, and started devouring them from the inside out. The attackers were down to half strength; but as afraid as they were of being eaten, they were more afraid of failing in front of Vexus. They regrouped twenty yards away from the silver android, and prepared for another laser attack.
But Drew had just consumed four Cluster drones, and his body had grown. He flowed into a large silver puddle in the middle of the street, five times larger than before. It bubbled and shimmered – then surged into the air, sprouting a pair of double-jointed legs. Then another pair. Then a third, then a fourth. His body hung ten feet above the ground, supported by eight nimble, lethal double-jointed pincers; each leg shimmered with ripples of silver-green, ready to attack in any direction. His head flowed out, and gave the remaining robots a nasty glare.
The giant silver tarantula charged at the terrified robots, with leg-blades swinging like a giant threshing machine. Perfect nano-blades sliced through the roach-drones as if they were made of cream cheese. More blades sliced through the air, severing the laser-antennae of the soldier drones. The four rearward legs grew a pair of massive claws at their ends; each one lunged out and grabbed a SWAT droid around its neck, and the nanobots "melted" off their heads.
A green drone managed to get a shot off at Drew's front leg, severing it at the knee. Drew simply grew a hand at the end of the stub, grabbed the leg, and used it like a giant dagger to impale a pair of roach-drones. He circled around the dwindling numbers of Cluster robots, slicing at them with his long, supple legs, twisting his ribbon-like body between the searing shafts of laser fire. A side leg shoved its spike-tip through another SWAT droid, sending it crumpling to the pavement. A front leg rammed into the grill of one of the news vans, and with a mighty heave, hauled out the engine block – then started swinging it overhand, like a huge mallet, crushing Cluster drones like soda cans.
But then Drew winced from the brilliance of a blinding light. A sizzling bolt of energy shot out from somewhere with a deafening roar, and tore through the legs on his left side. He crashed to the pavement in an undignified heap, and watched his severed legs deteriorate into fizzling mounds of glowing gray ash. He scrambled to repair the left side of his body, and frantically tried to pull himself off the ground. Just when I thought I was actually getting somewhere … where the heck did THAT come from?!?
"That will be quite enough from you," hissed an irritated voice.
Vexus hovered next to the CNS "news van", which had suddenly sprouted a gigantic particle cannon from its roof. And that cannon had pivoted to point directly at Drew, who was lying in the middle of the street, in semi-liquid form. Vexus' shoulders heaved with aggravation. "Decoy Robot Unit, indeed. You have proven to be surprisingly …" – she grit her teeth – " … annoying … and as amusing as it might be to take you back to Cluster Prime for study, I think I'll just have you reduced to a cloud of sub-atomic particles. Drone, you may fire when ready …"
Drew tried to get himself moving, but he needed another two seconds … two seconds that he wasn't going to get. He watched an angry crimson glow build in the barrel of the giant cannon … sigh, at least I gave it a try … then a blinding shaft of energy lit up the sky.
But it didn't come from the cannon. A beam of energy screamed down from directly overhead, glowing a brilliant blue. It slammed into the roof of the van, ripping it to pieces in a spectacular explosion. The colossal blast hurled Vexus against the windshield of another news truck, shattering it with the impact of her body. She rubbed her head and looked upwards …
And groaned in frustration as a blue-and-white robot girl drifted slowly down to Earth, balanced on twin plumes of exhaust from her pigtail-jets.
Jenny was home.
After defeating the Cluster in Sydney, and flying halfway around the world in record time, Jenny was back home. She descended to hover just a few yards away from Vexus, with a furious scowl on her face. She retracted her wings and boosters, and stared right through the Cluster queen with a look that could kill. Her body was still sizzling with scorch marks and wisps of smoke, both from her aerial battle in Australia and her super-fast flight back home; it complimented the anger that flowed from her at the moment.
"I hope your insurance was paid up on your van," she snarled. "And on your starship, too."
"YES!" shouted Drew, with a look of exhausted relief on his face. He labored his way to his feet while his body repaired itself, warbling like silver jello. "Jenny, are you ever a sight for sore eyes!"
Vexus silently floated a few feet into the air, hovering above the smoldering wreckage that used to be her "news van". The narrow slits of her eyes hinted at the venom that boiled behind her calm, civilized mask. "Always a pleasure to see you, Jennifer," she said in an icy voice. "Although I wasn't expecting you for a few more minutes yet. Don't you realize that it's impolite to show up early?"
Jenny didn't answer. Instead, she deployed a laser-limb from her right arm, and pointed it directly at Vexus' chest. "I'll give you just one chance," she said, her voice audibly shaking. "Tell me where my mother is, NOW!"
Her mind ever-calculating, Vexus smiled with an arrogant sneer. "My, my … concerned for the little long-haired lab rat, are we? Well, if I may use the vernacular, it does seem that you 'have the drop on me'. I suppose I have no choice but to show you where she is."
Drew had finished repairing himself, and was watching the drama unfold as he tried to recover his bearings, and rebuild his energy. Something about Vexus' attitude seemed wrong, for someone who was about to get her butt kicked. She was waving her hands in an overdramatic fashion …
"Your sniveling little scientist is over there," she purred, gesturing off to her left. In Jenny's emotional state, she turned to look, taking her eyes off of Vexus … who slowly raised her right hand, and exposed her palm, which was loaded with a tiny black dart …
Oh, heck. As if by instinct, Drew's right arm instantly shimmered into silvery fluid. He whirled it over his head, and snapped it at the Cluster queen like a whip.
Vexus grinned, took aim at Jenny's blue torso, and … Snap! Schwick!
She gasped in surprise, and Jenny turned back in time to see … Vexus' right hand, sizzling with sparks of electricity, cut through with a perfect slice. Then with a tiny pop, the hand fell off, and clattered down to the sidewalk, with its long, spidery fingers twitching in random spasms.
The Cluster queen glared at the pathetic silver-green android, with searing hatred in her eyes. "How – dare – you – strike at the leader of the Cluster Empire! You puny, insignificant ball of sludge!" She raised her remaining hand in a fist, and her antennae glowed with arcs of violet energy …
But she was interrupted by a blast from Jenny's laser-limb, streaking through the air mere inches from her face. Quickly recovering her cool, Vexus gracefully swooped backward, dodged a few more of Jenny's laser beams, and spiraled high into the air. Demonic claws extended from her left hand, and with a powerful swipe, she tore a hole in the very fabric of space itself, creating a dimensional portal.
"Well, Jenny, it looks like my visit is over for today," she said, in her calm, ever-arrogant voice. "But don't worry; I'll be back, to help you see the error of your ways. You will be hearing from the Cluster again soon, my dear."
Vexus shifted her gaze towards Drew, and her tone darkened considerably. "And as for you … you abhorrent atrocity …oh, I guarantee that you'll be hearing from the Cluster again, too." Then she swooped into the madly dancing kaleidoscope of colors in the dimensional rift – and the portal sealed up with a flash, leaving no trace that it ever existed in the first place.
Jenny simmered with frustration – she got away again – but Vexus would have to wait for another day. There were graver concerns right now. She dropped to the ground and ran over to her android friend, oblivious to the destruction surrounding them, and grabbed him by the shoulders. "Drew! Oh my gosh, Drew, all you all right?!?"
He glanced down as the last of the silvery ripples flowed down his arms to his fingers, and quickly examined his body. "Yeah … hey, believe it or not, yeah, I … I think I actually am. But man-oh-man, am I ever glad to see you, Jen. I am in over my head big-time, here. You've gotta destroy the rest of these whack-job Cluster robots for me!"
Jenny quickly looked around, a bit puzzled. "What Cluster robots?"
"Whaddaya mean, what Cluster robots?!? We're surrounded by …" Then he looked around them, and stared, stunned, with his jaw hanging half-open. "Holy schnikey."
The front yard of the Wakeman house was littered with wheezing husks of demolished Cluster roach-drones. Scrap metal, broken gears, springs, pistons, pumps and power cells … the Cluster army had been reduced to a robotic junkyard. Here and there, between hissing short-circuits and thin wisps of smoke, a thin robotic claw waved in the air, or a leg flexed weakly with the sound of failing motors. Mashed SWAT droids and Cluster drones were scattered in the street, twitching pathetically in a futile attempt to simply stand up. Half-devoured drone shells lay motionless against a pair of overturned white vans, with their insides dissolving into a fine gray ash, and a look of sheer terror frozen on their faces.
Jenny shook him by the shoulders. "Drew, my mom. Where's my mom?!?"
He was still in a state of semi-shock. "Uh … she's still … uh … she's still in the house, I think."
She barely recognized her own house, with the gaudy steel plating deployed, covered with huge black scorch marks. It looked like it had been in a war zone. Smoking craters and pools of oil covered the lawn. Gouges had been cut out of the walls and windows. Dark gray smoke drifted into the air from some unseen location inside. Fear took hold of her, and she sprinted for the front door.
And all of the sudden, standing in the middle of the battle's aftermath, Drew was all alone. An eerie calm settled over the scene, and he casually walked across the yard, looking over the Cluster wreckage as he went. There were heaps of shredded drone bodies, severed antennae, arms and legs ripped off and piled on top of decapitated heads – some with eyes still moving, watching him nervously. The Cluster forces had been thoroughly and completely annihilated.
Drew folded his arms, and a small, dopey smile crept onto his face. "Well, how about that."
The first thing she saw after ripping the thick steel door off its hinges was Brad and Tuck, grinning like a pair of hyenas. Tuck ran up and jumped into her arms. "Boy are we ever glad to see you! It took you long enough to get here – you missed all the excitement! There was a gi-normous Cluster robot army, right out on the front yard! And the police robots were here … and … and Vexus was here too! And … and there were lasers and … pchoom! pchoom!" The little fellow was on the verge of hyperventilating.
"I know, Tuck, I know," she laughed. She grabbed Brad by the hand, squeezing it as tightly as she dared to with her robotic strength. "Thank goodness you guys are all right. But Brad, where's my mom? Drew said she was in here … why isn't she at the hospital?"
"Why would I be at the hospital?" Mrs. Wakeman asked.
She looked more tired and disheveled than usual, with smoke stains and scorch marks covering her yellow lab coat. The doctor pushed her long white hair out of her face, and braced herself against her still-smoldering work desk. "Well, don't just stand there, XJ-9. We need to assess the damage to the house and the lab, and begin repairs to …"
Mrs. Wakeman didn't get a chance to finish her sentence. A blue-and-white blur slammed into her, lifting her into a crushing robotic hug. Then Jenny dropped down to her knees, and set her bewildered mother back on her feet, gasping for breath.
"Mom! Mom, you're alive! I was so worried … oh no, right, your chest! Just relax and don't move – I'll call the hospital and let them know you're on the way!" She spun one of her pigtails into a parabolic dish, and started to make a phone call …
"XJ-9, what in blazes is the matter with you?!?" The doctor was genuinely baffled. "I do not need to go to the hospital. Granted, I must appear somewhat nicked up right now, but I've sustained worse injuries before just by cooking dinner. Are your sensors malfunctioning?"
"B-But …" Jenny's mind was swimming in confusion, her emotions a frenzied jumble of joy, and relief, and happiness, mixed with the grief and terror of her last ten minutes. "M-Mom, I saw you – on the TV. I saw you get shot by a Cluster drone."
"Shot?!? On the television, you say? Oh my, then a news camera must have … oh, no, what you must have seen …" The doctor gasped, suddenly realizing the reason for the grief in XJ-9's eyes.
"I … I thought you were … dead." Jenny's voice choked up; she could finally say it now, knowing that her mom was actually safe. She collapsed into her mother's arms, squeezing her in a firm, yet gentle embrace, and her shoulders started to shake. "I th-thought I had lost you."
Mrs. Wakeman actually seemed a bit stunned, and awkwardly wrestled her arms free to pat her creation on the shoulders, trying to calm her down. Heightened emotional states like this were tough on XJ-9's electronics, and placed heavy loads on her cooling loops. "There, there, XJ-9 … everything's fine now. You've saved the day again, just like I knew you would."
"Those things I said to you this morning … such horrible things … Mom, I'm so sorry …"
The doctor winced at the memory. "Well … things did get a bit heated, but that's all …" She didn't finish the thought. Mrs. Wakeman was distracted by an odd warmth against her cheeks. She touched a finger to her face, and felt a moist fluid – then she realized it was coming from XJ-9's tear reservoirs. The girl did tend to get over-emotional, but the doctor sensed something different in her this time. She'd just been through a horrific, traumatic experience. The doctor's cold, clinical exterior started to melt away, as her robotic creation – no, her daughter – buried her head into her shoulder. Then Jenny turned her face ever so slightly, kissed the doctor on the cheek, and whispered –
"I love you, Mommy."
Mrs. Wakeman stared blankly into space, amazed at the words she'd just heard. Then the room got blurry, and she realized that hot, salty tears were pooling up in her own eyes as well. She reached up to remove her glasses, and wiped her face against her sleeve. Nora Wakeman cradled her daughter's head in her hands, pressed her thin lips against her metal cheek, and whispered back –
"Oh, I love you too, Jenny."
CONCLUDED in Chapter Ten